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Name: OlyaNeverWrites
Alias(es): afewbulbsshortofatanningbed, OlyaCantHandleAngstButAtLeastOwnsIt, OlyaOnlyWriteYassenProtecTheAlex, OlyaWritesOnOccasion, OlyaWritesYassenBoinkTheAlex
Type: fanwriter, reccer
Fandoms: Alex Rider, Man from UNCLE
URL: OlyaNeverWrites at AO3
OlyaNeverWrites at Tumblr
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OlyaNeverWrites is a fanwriter and reccer.


Previously his biography quotes:

What my fics will not include: any explicit or graphic depictions of underage or noncon (though reference to/implications of past events may occur); permanent character injury (scars or a bum knee don’t count); major (permanent) character death.

What my fics will include: all endings will be happy or at least hopeful, promise.

(None of this is meant to be judgmental. People can and should write what they want. This is simply the content you can expect me to write, as this is the content I enjoy reading!)[1]

– author's tumblr bio

Another description of his biography, more recently quotes:

Blanket fic spoilers:

I am not trying to surprise you with the archive warnings/tags I use. If I use Choose Not To Warn, it means that there’s a borderline case of an archive warning - something like canon-typical violence that may or may not qualify as graphic depictions of violence, or mention of past noncon. There will be no surprise character deaths, no out-of-nowhere gore, nothing like that.

All endings will be happy or at least hopeful, promise.[2]

– author's tumblr bio

Some Fanworks

Alex Rider stories

  • Dinner and a Show a slash Yalex story, It is entirely MI6’s fault. If they hadn’t wanted him to pursue alternative revenue streams, they shouldn’t have sent him on a mission involving him prancing around a stage in shiny shorts and a Captain America crop top. They shouldn’t have let him discover that he did indeed have a knack for highly suggestive dancing and garment removal. If they hadn’t wanted him to start stripping, they should not have strongarmed him into trying a job that involved having literal wads of cash shoved into his jockstrap. They should’ve paid him more. Or at all. And handsy patrons at the strip club shouldn't underestimate the protective instincts of a presumed-dead assassin with a possessive streak.
  • r/AmItheAsshole: Am I the Asshole for Saving a Child’s Life? a gen story co-writing with cthulhu_is_chaotic_good, This story, told in 3 chapters, is based on the reddit subreddit r/AmItheAsshole. Some people in Alex Rider’s life answer the question: is Yassen Gregorovich the asshole?
  • The Fool's Name for Fate a slash Yalex story wrote for cthulhu_is_chaotic_good as OlyaWritesYassenBoinkTheAlex, When Alex goes undercover at a Russian military academy, he doesn't expect to see anybody he knows. Least of all, Yassen Gregorovich - who, until just over three months ago when he first arrived at the military academy, he believed to be dead. Instead of exposing Alex's true allegiance, Yassen makes him an unexpected offer. And Alex can't shake his curiosity as to how far that offer extends... Set in the universe of Chance is a Fine Spy by cthulhu_is_chaotic_good.
  • Beyond the Fragments a F/F genderswapped Yalex story following Alex and Yassen's relationship from canon-era to Alex's early 20s. Alex Rider never wanted to be a spy. She certainly never expected to strike up a friendship with the terrifying assassin who killed her uncle and got her into this mess. So why do she and Yasha Grigoryeva keep running into each other? And why does Alex never do the smart thing and run screaming into the hills whenever she sees her?
  • Untitled Alexgoose Game a gen story, Some are born geese, some achieve goosedom, and some have goosedom thrust upon them. Perhaps by a rogue curse from a misappropriated Baba Yaga’s spell book. - Twelfth Night, 3.4, William Shakespeare. Or It’s a beautiful day at the Royal and General and you are a horrible Alexgoose. Winner of Spyfest 2021, week 3: Some secrets aren't meant to be kept.

MFU stories

  • The Watchtower a gen Illya & Solo as OlyaWritesOnOccasion for girlintheglen, One frigid night in December, CIA agent Napoleon Solo is monitoring a lonely stretch of road near the border between East and West when he encounters a young KGB agent who claims that he has top-secret information that needs to be delivered to the Soviets to prevent imminent nuclear war. Prompt: winter doldrums; a bottle of bourbon; a slippery road