Never and Always with Lighter Shades
You may be looking for Never and Always, a Star Trek: TOS zine by Sue Glasgow.
|Title:||Never and Always with Lighter Shades|
|Publisher:||Tyne & Wear|
|Editor(s):||S. Meek and Lesley Wood|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: TOS|
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About the Zine
"This is an amalgamation of two K/S projects of S. Meek and Lesley Wood which will hopefully reflect all aspects of the genre, from more serious explorations of the relationship to lighter shades implied in the title." 
What Happened to the Cover of the First Issue?
From the editor: "We apologise for the fact that this zine has a blank front cover. This is due to severe problems with our printer who does not understand the English language. It seems he has never heard of A4 card, and produced something that was far from fit for our purpose. We are still in dispute with him about this, but would rather you had plain covers than no zine at all. We hope you feel the same way. Hope you like the cover artwork of a white cat in a snowstorm - it's certainly a collector's item."
Never and Always with Lighter Shades 1 was published in 1982 and contains 200 pages. However, due to stapling problems, the issue was broken into two volumes, the first containing 98 pages and the second, 99 pages, with page numbers continuous throughout the two. This situation was explained in the editorial:
The zine features interior art by Roo, Nan Lewis, Sylvia Liske and Ann Humphreys, but appears to have been published without cover art. According to the editors:Although 'NAWLS' comes to you in two pieces, so to speak, this is not because of the duality of the title, but through the mortality of our stapler. We felt you'd rather have two volumes than one which fell apart as soon as it was opened. So this is NAWLS vols I&II, the next is issue no. 2 (And you wonder why we're confused??)
We apologise for the fact that this zine has a blank front cover. This is due to severe problems with our printer who does not understand the English language. It seems he has never heard of an A4 card, and produced something that was far from fit for our purpose. We are still in dispute with him about this, but would rather you had plain covers than no zine at all. We hope you feel the same way. Hope you like the cover artwork of a white cat in a snowstorm - it's certainly a collector's item!
Later fans may have created their own covers or moved photocopied interior art to serve as a cover (see image above).
In the editorial publisher S. Meek described the origins of her first foray into zine publishing in a poetical style:
- "Never and always...the endless sessions at the typewriter
- Touching and touched... the stencils and typewriter keys
- Parted from me and-never parted....money and the typewriter
- I await thee in the appointed place... the duplicating and the deadline...''
And if you think the above is a fair indication that the editors should be hauled away to the madhouse, you could be right! We always knew there was another meaning to the word 'touched'... However... Welcome to the first edition of 'NEVER AND ALWAYS WITH LIGHTER SHADES 1...born out of a meeting at an Empathy 6b in Halifax and the discovery that we were working on similar projects, we moved into ten months of planning, feverish typing, even more feverish exchange of letters; with the distinct feeling we were keeping the GPO afloat. Since then, editorial meetings have been convened in such diverse locations as each other's houses, room parties, bars, Cons and endless British Rail waiting rooms - in December, no less!
PART ONE: Contents of Volume I (98 pages)
- Editorial by S. Meek and Lesley Wood
- PROLOGUE by Vivien Young (p. 1-4)
- Non-Regulation by S. Meek (p. 4)
- WHEN THE NIGHT MEETS THE MORNING SUN by Crystal Ann Taylor (p. 5-31)
- UNFINISHED BUSINESS by S. Meek (p. 32-36)
- Enough Is Enough by Mary Sue (p. 36)
- Surrender by S. Meek (p. 37)
- PER ARDUA by Sue S. (p. 38-46)
- Reactions by Dale S (p. 46)
- I HATE DIPLOMATS by Doreen Dubois (p. 47-55)
- POSSUM by K.S. T'Lan (p. 56-72)
- Obsession by S. Meek (p. 72)
- JEALOUSY HAS A HUMAN FACE by Jane J. Coulson (p. 73-98)
- Oracle by Jane J. Coulson (p. 98)
PART TWO: Contents of Volume II (99 pages)
- Never and Always by S. Meek (p. 99)
- Star Shadows by Jane J. Coulson (p. 99)
- THE CATALYST by Sue W. (p. 100-109)
- PERSPECTIVES by S. Meek (p. 110-123)
- Co-incident by Lesley W (p. 124)
- Familiarity by S. Meek (p. 124)
- PASSION'S FLAME by Tina W. P. (p. 125-128)
- FORBIDDEN FRUIT by Jane Jones (p. 129-144)
- Compulsion by S. Meek (p. 144) (reprinted from Thoughts of Love, published by Jenny Elson)
- 'KISS ME QUICK' by Lena M. (p. 145)
- WHEN THE SPIRIT GETS YOU by Tina W. P. (p. 146-149)
- Defenceless by S. Meek (p. 149)
- SO FEW CERTAINTIES by Elaine W (p. 150-174)
- End-Game by Jane J. Coulson (p. 174)
- I Stand Alone by Katy Deery (p. 175)
- AND THE DARK BECAME THE LIGHT by Sylvia Liske (p. 176-178)
- MINDGAMES by S. Meek (p. 180-183)
- HOW LIKE A WINTER by Jo Martin (p. 184-198)
- Zine Ads (p. 200)
Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1
[How Like a Winter]: I'm not sure how many other readers will like "How Like a Winter," but it is a type of story that I just adore. It portrays a 110 year old Kirk, bonded for more than sixty years to Spock. Kirk has broken his hip, and Spock absolutely has to leave him to attend a peace conference with the Klingons. He hires a nurse to take care of his recalcitrant bondmate while Kirk recuperates, and the story is told from the nurse's perspective. I'm an absolute sucker for stories that show an older Kirk and Spock, never read one I didn't like, so I'm definitely prejudiced in favor of this story. Nevertheless. I did have a few problems. This older Kirk was too much like many fan writers portray an older McCoy, in my opinion, awfully crusty and uncooperative. It wasn't until the later part of this short story that Kirk's true, unmistakable character started to emerge, once he began to relate to the nurse as a person, and to talk about his relationship with Spock. And I'll never get used to the Britishisms that sometimes creep into the dialogue authors. Hearing Kirk say "Bully" always so jarring...I liked the irony of the bedridden Kirk speaking so protectively: "...it was achilly evening and he isn't getting any younger either, you know. That's why we've settled on Vulcan. He feels the cold so, now he's getting older." I like a story that doesn't have pretensions, that doesn't try to be something it isn't. "How Like a Winter" is short and sweet, I'm sure too cloyingly so to some, but it certainly warmed up a cold winter evening for me. On my own personal scale of one to ten, I give it an uncomplicated seven. 
[Perspectives]: This is a very simple tale told in two parts. The first is from Leila Kalomi's point of view, as she unexpectedly meets Spock in a lounge in a spaceport on Benecia, six years after the incident on Omicron Ceti III. He and Kirk are waiting to board a passenger liner. The second part takes place on the "D deck tourist class" cabin that Spock and Kirk have been able to procure to take them back to the Enterprise after a less than successful shore leave on Vulcan. Sarek will not accept the bonding between his son and Kirk, and so Spock and his father are estranged again. Naturally, Kirk feels guilty about this, and seeing Leila, whom he claims would have fit Sarek's standards considerably better than he himself does, quite naturally raises all his doubts and misgivings again. This story does a good job of getting Kirk and Spock out of the Enterprise environment. I loved seeing the two of them through Leila's eyes: and was quite willing to go along with her conclusions that the two of them must be lovers... I also enjoyed the mature personality that the author gave Leila. So often she is portrayed as a gold-digger with few brains and no heart, and it was refreshing to see her as a real person who had grown from her experiences. There were a few technical problems from which the story suffered, very common ones that can be found in almost any K/S work. There was an occasional confusion of "he's", so that I wasn't quite sure who it was, for example, who "proved the emotional strength on which their relationship was based," although I could certainly make a good guess. A dialogue between K and S was interrupted by a several-paragraphs-long speech from Spock, an oration that was out of rhythm with the very realistic scene the author had managed to set. And there was just a little too much banter for ay taste about the narrow single bunks they were forced to endure on the passenger liner. "Perspectives" is a simple tale that I like alot. I don't think it's very easy to portray our guys in a setting outside their lives on the Enterprise in a very convincing manner, but this author managed it easily. The scene where Kirk comes upon his bondmate of only one month and Leila conversing in the departure lounge was great, not overdone, but suffused with realism. Leila managed to escape from the situation in exactly the same way that all of us have in the past (or wished we had.) On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this story a 7. 
'Never and Always with Lighter Shades' is a K/S short story zine. It is published in two volumes of about 100 pages each so that it is not too big for the staples. The presentation and layout of the zine are good and the illustrations by Roo, Nan Lewis, Ann Humphrey and Sylvia Liske are excellent, but there do seem to be a lot of typing errors, some of which occur at the most inopportune moments and distract the reader from the story. The zine can be divided into nine pages of illustrations, eight pages of poetry, mostly by Sue Meek and sixteen stories ranging in length from one page to thirty pages.
The stories are by established writers such as Crystal Ann Taylor, Sue Meek, Doreen DuBois, K.S. T'Lan and Jane Jones together with relatively unknowns, such as Sue Williams and Jane Coulson, The stories, living up to the editors' aim to cover the whole spectrum of the subject, range from the ultra serious to four light hearted stories, including two by Tina Pole which follow her usual pattern. I am pleased to report that there are no proper Pon Farr stories, which makes a refreshing change. The only one remotely connected with the subject is the Prologue by Vivien Young which takes the form of a conversation after the events of 'Amok Time.'
The four stories selected for review are among the longest in the zine end therefore I hope I do not ruin anybody's future reading.
'When the Night Meets the Morning Sun' by Crystal Ann Taylor is sot in the Mirror Mirror universe and deals with Spock's reaction to finding Kirk in the arms of the Dolman. His answer to the need to break the spell of her tears is to force Kirk into a sexual relationship with himself. It is nice to see an established American writer in a British zine, and the story at thirty pages is the longest in the zine. Being an A/U story known facts can be changed and whether you can accept the premise or not, the story Is well written and Crystal Ann Taylor fans will not be disappointed.
'Jealousy has a Human Face' by Jane Coulson is set on Vulcan, Kirk end Speck are bonded and teaching at the Vulcan branch of Starfleet Academy. A most enjoyable story, it explores the differences between Humans and Vulcans and the difficulties which can occur. Kirk reacts to a situation as he believes a Vulcan would do and Spock misunderstands his motives. The character of Sarek who acts as mediator between his 'bonded sons' is touching and beautifully written.
'How Like a Winter' by Jo Martin is the final story in the zine and is the personal favourite of the editors. In the story, the relationship has lasted for over sixty years and is still strong. It is seen'through the eyes of a nurse, hired by Spock to look after an 110 year old Kirk." Spock, in charge of the peace negotiations with the Klingons, has to leave Kirk behind as he has a broken hip. Annoyed with himself for letting Spock down, he reveals to the nurse his feelings for Spock and his reaction to getting old. A beautifully written and moving story, it is a delight to read.
Anyone who enjoyed Elaine W.'s "Falls the Shadow' in 'Nocturne' will enjoy 'So Few Certainties'. Set after the Deneva incident, Kirk has withdrawn into himself to try to drive Spock away because he believes that anyone whom he loves, dies. The story revolves around an interview in Kirk's quarters when Spock asks for a transfer, believing that Kirk can no longer tolerate his presence. The emotions released during that interview bring them together rather than tear them apart. Excellently written with superb characterisation, it was for me the best story in the zine.
'Never and Always' does cover some aspects not covered before in stories by Doreen Dubois and especially in Sue Stuart's 'Per Ardua' where Kirk and Spock become lovers when Kirk is female. In all honesty I cannot say that I enjoyed the story but it is right that it is published as others might.Despite the typos, I enjoyed 'the zine, the range of the stories is impressive and at £4.50, it is good value. 
Never and Always with Lighter Shades 2 contains 96 pages and seems to have been published around or after 1984, according to inside art and poetry dated from that year. It features interior art by Roo and C. Sibbett.
- The Gladiators by Indra (p. 2-15)
- In the Still of the Night by Devery Helm (p. 16-19)
- Shock Treatment by Selina L. (p. 20-25)
- Aphrodisiac Brew by Teresa W. (p. 26-28)
- Metamorphosis by S. Meek (p. 28-64)
- The Problem by Elsie C. (p. 65-70)
- Love Potion by Ann S. (p. 71-72)
- The Close of the Chapter by Ann S. (p. 73)
- Outakes from the rewrite of Star Trek III by Jane J. Coulson (p. 74-79)
- Renaissance by S. Meek (p. 81-96)
- The Gift by Dale S. (p. 15)
- Shore Leave Blues or When Green is Greener by Meg Fine (p. 25)
- Silent Soliloquy by Elaine Leeke (p. 64)
- Bondlink by S. Meek (p. 70)
- Shaping Up by Mary Sue (p. 72)
- Frustration by Noelle Harrison (p. 79-80)
Interior Art Gallery
Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2
[Gladiators]: McCoy is portrayed here as the jealous third party and the plot revolves around his eventual acceptance of Kirk's relationship with Spock. Included in the story are famous semi-quotes from the series such as: "Are they enemies? he asked. Kirk said sadly, "I'm not sure they're sure." Full marks if you can name the episode now! Once you've read the story, only half marks. In the Still of the Night Enjoyable humourous tale of a squeaky bed and an embarrassed Spock. Shock Treatment McCoy has to use very unusual methods to show Kirk just how important his Vulcan is to him... Aphrodisiac Brew Spock resorts to love potions to win his much desired Captain. Light humour. Metamorphosis A first timer which follows Kirk's growing awareness of his need for Spock. Nothing much new here, but may entertain those who love 'the first time' no matter how many time it occurs. Quite a long story with a cautious lead-up to the final reunion. The Problem Another First Timer, again borrowing from the series only reversing roles. Human biology -- where have I hear that? I personally enjoyed The Problem to the previous story, but that might only reflect my impatience. Short but effective. Love Potion Too similar to Aphrodisiac Brew. Outakes... Written in script form... Renaissonce An account of Spock's second pon-farr and how his bondmate helps him through this trying time. A plot based on an established K/S relationship and a welcome change. I won't say much about the poetry since I don't consider myself much of a judge of this medium. I can only reveal that I liked Bondlink; and Shore Leave Blues. A purely instinctual response. On the whole, 96 pages of average K/S material with nothing outstanding. A shame since NAWLS #1 was a very good first zine. However, for the dedicated or new fan, it may be worth the purchase.