Lest These Dark Days (Professionals story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Lest These Dark Days
Author(s):	Jane Carnall and Ann Johnson
Date(s):	1989-1993
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	The Professionals
Relationship(s):
External Links:	online here
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Lest These Dark Days is a Bodie/Cowley story by Jane Carnall and Ann Johnson.

It is a 53-page circuit zine and part of the shared universe The Fox and the Wolf by Jane Carnall and Nicole C. published in the 1990s.

It was published in Lest These Dark Days and is online.

A circuit zine with the first 3 stories was published in March 1993 and was 235 pages long.

The Series

• Lest These Dark Days
• This Classical Dilemma
• As Games Are Played
• Woven Patternings

Author's Comments: 1991

[A] and I have been friends for years, thank Goddess, and I have been writing "/" and other things for years. Ever since she discovered B/D, ever since she got our first video tapes, she was egging me on to write a B/D story. Well, inspiration wasn't striking, indeed my Muse was leaning against the wall, arms folded, tapping her foot, with a look of irritation and impatience on her face, rather like McCoy in The End of the Hurt/Comfort Syndrome. One afternoon, when neither of us were in an entirely sane frame of mind, we were watching 'Wild Justice' for the nth time, and for the nth time [A] said "I've got an idea for a story..." and I groaned and said "No..." and added, impishly "Actually, I can believe Bodie/Cowley sooner than I can believe Bodie/Doyle." Before the end of 'Wild Justice' we had plotted the beginnings of Lest These Dark Days, and I was hooked. I'd found the right combination.

Why? Bodie is, let me put it kindly, a sexist, racist, macho pig. Cowley is, again to put it kindly, devious, ruthless, bad-tempered, sexist, and runs the kind of organization I would be out there demonstrating against if it actually existed.

Of the three of them, Doyle is the only one I would care to share a flat with; he can do his own laundry, his own washing-up, and cook for himself. I’m not convinced either of the other two would.

Bodie is cute. Those crooked eyebrows, those incredible deep blue eyes, that little-boy grin, that short-short feathery hair, that teddy-bear air - he looks so damn huggable. And the combination of this, with the danger, is somehow very appealing.

Cowley reminds me of Mr Utterson, the lawyer in "The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde” -- 'a man of rugged countenance, that was never lighted by a smile; cold, scanty and embarrassed in discourse; backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary, and yet somehow lovable... He was austere with himself; drank gin when he was alone, to mortify a taste for vintages; and though he enjoyed the theatre, had not crossed the doors of one for twenty years. But he had an approved tolerance for others; sometimes wondering, almost with envy, at the high pressure of spirits involved in their misdeeds; and in any extremity inclined to help rather than to reprove'.

Of course, the parallel is not exact. Cowley would reprove - he'd tear the erring person to shreds and pour on salt - and then would help. But when I re-read that description of Mr Utterson, not long ago, I did begin to wonder if perhaps when Cowley's alone he drinks gin to mortify a taste for malt Scotch...

I like [Cowley]. He's repressed and fierce-tempered - God help you if you pry or offer sympathy! - but he's tolerant to an extent astonishing in a man of his background. A Presbyterian born and reared in Glasgow of the 1920s/30s ought to have been bigoted as a matter of course against black people, gays, Catholics, and loose-living. Cowley isn't. And though I did say earlier that he's sexist, it is rather more old-fashioned than unpleasant.

He’s honest. He's trustworthy. In 'Fall Girl' when Bodie's just been arrested for murder, he rings Cowley to get him out of it. It doesn't occur to Bodie that Cowley would fail to help him. In 'When The Heat Cools Off', Doyle doesn't even bother to read what Cowley's drafted for him before he signs it.' In 'Operation Susie', Cowley seems prepared to conspire with a Militant Left union leader in order to get the upper hand of Northcott in order to be able to rescue Bodie and Doyle...

And [Cowley's] lonely. If anyone ever did, Cowley needs a lover, someone to hug him and coax him into loving, stop him from drinking quite so much, tease him but let him keep his dignity; someone who'll understand that the work comes first. Bodie is perfect.

Regardless of whether you like the idea of B/C or not, the fact is generally agreed from series - evidence that Bodie is devoted to Cowley, wants Cowley's approval, trusts Cowley absolutely. And Cowley at the very coolest rather likes Bodie. (If this makes Bodie sound like a puppy I have to admit I've often seen them that way... particularly in the scene at the end of 'Close Quarters'. I swear, Cowley's about to toss Bodie a Good Boy chocolate drop.)

Reactions and Reviews

1990

I recommend this story even though I totally disagree with the author's view of Doyle as such a B-O-R-E, I find this Bodie/Cowley story incredibly powerful and well-written.

1992

A stunning Bodie/Cowley work which I truly believe could happen.

I liked the Bodie Cowley stories, especially the first-- Lest these Dark Days, but the alternate one, "Look through Mine Eyes" is easily darker than anything M Fae has ever done in the Pros universe. Of course, as soon as I put the story down, I don't believe that Cowley and B really are doing it. No way!

1993

You ask about Lest These Dark Days/This Classical Dilemma -- oh boy! I had been mystified by discussions of these stories (novellas?) when a kind person sent me copies--they are brilliant! I wouldn't want to try to explain the plot or set-up, as I KNOW you will enjoy reading them and I'd hate to spoil any of the suspense--suffice it to say that I would not have believed the idea of Bodie/Cowley, still have a hard time seeing it other than in this context--and these stories made it so plausible and right, I was totally swept up in the idea! They are on the circuit, or there are copies around--the writer is the always-amazing Jane Carnall--if you have any difficulty locating copies, I could probably help. I have it on good authority that the third part is close to completion, and am waiting with bated breath for word that it's available. There is also a clearly-labelled NONsequel ("This is NOT a sequel "etc.), a very painful item called Look Through My Eyes, which I unfortunately read before LTDD and TCD and found much to grim and depressing--I sent it back without copying it. Now I'm waiting to get it again, because, having seen the context from which it was (NOT) arising, I think it was really much better than it seemed on its own. Oh boy--what a treat you have in store!

1996

OH MY ***GGGOOODDD***. You *haven't* read Lest These Dark Days and its sequel, This Classical Dilemma?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! These two wonderful stories convinced me so utterly (via their quality of writing, their attention to emotional details and characterization, and their close attention to the show's canon) that even today, when I watch certain episodes and Cowley or Bodie does something that Jane noted, I think, "They really *ARE* lovers." !!

2006

Now, after some cautious preparation, we are entering the weird and perilous fields of the infamous B/C pairing! This is at last the fateful story who, in less than two hours and, to her own stark astonishment, turned upside down the fannish affections of an innocent reader who, until then, had been perfectly happy and satisfied with the regular and quite obvious one, the OTP Bodie/Doyle pairing (I simply wasn't very convinced by the physical charms of the green eyed golly but, as long as it came to fanfiction reading, it didn't matter much).

I think now I was hooked first by the style: clear and transparent like these calm, sky blue waters, through which the gaze gets at the bottom so easily you could believe the rocks and sands are almost at hand, and yet you know how this delusion is deceptive. The bottom is much much farther, beyond your reach.

So many examples come to mind. This is one:

Bodie was attractive. Very attractive. Very dangerous. Attractive because dangerous, and, for Cowley, dangerous because attractive. It's difficult to say something so right with so few words. Another one:

It was a wonderful morning -- for Bodie, it could have been raining and it would still have been a wonderful morning. He felt good all over, keenly aware through his whole skin of the morning breeze and the summer's sky and the tactile memory of holding Cowley. Is it just plain, as it may appear, or more significant than the simple meaning of the words?

And another passage I deem as one of the most moving I ever read:

Cowley remembered, afterwards, the dark hair crisp as feathers against his fingers; remembered tracing the line of one scar that curled around Bodie's ribs like a whiplash; remembered the sleepy, still-confident, smile on Bodie's face as he hooked an arm around the other man's waist and fell into a satisfied sleep. These things he could bear to remember, though they seared him; for the rest, it would have been better if he could have forgotten what must never happen again.

Wistful, bittersweet, heartbreaking. I am not very receptive to the pathetic, romantic stuff that I personally feel as counterproductive in regards to emotion but such matter of fact statements remain in my memory where they resound again and again with full gravity. And did I say how I loved the verses which are used to introduce the chapters? And how perfectly the whole poem fits the development of the characters' moves and feelings?

Perhaps I make a mistake by quoting some of the finest bits of the text, it could spoil the pleasure of discovery; but, on the other hand, as most people in this fandom are likely to be repelled by the basic idea of the pairing itself, I must entice them by something else...I'd like to know if other readers are as sensitive as I am to the suggestive power of understatement.

Before reading the story, you ought to cast a look on these complementary informations:

Everything is canon here, except the relationship between Cowley and Bodie; outside this, all the events are taken from an episode. First “Wild Justice” where Cowley threatens to shoot at Bodie, in order to prevent him from killing a suspect who is a personal enemy, then “Involvement” where Doyle is dumped by the girl he wanted to marry and eventually “Need to Know”, where Cowley sets up a man trap for the success of which he has to cheat his own agents.

If you want to understand something to the outcome of “Lest these Dark Days”, it’s necessary you had watched the episode “Need to know” or read the script because the author doesn’t explain the background at all.

http://hatstand.slashcity.net/epinfo/need.html

There is a very significant and striking scene where Cowley, using an oxygen mask, undertakes to help his men who are suffocating because of a stun grenade: he runs first to Bodie, gave him oxygen a rather long time while gently stroking his brow; then he gets toward Doyle, puts the mask on his nose an instant, quickly and perfunctorily and, as soon as possible, comes back to Bodie who is still lying on the ground, kneels near him, gave him more oxygen while stroking again his face, with a worried look before helping him to stand up by holding him with an arm around the waist and leading him to his car.

Don't fall over in astonishment - but I enjoyed it. Good writing. The way it played out was believable (Cowley's doubts & fears when he finds out Doyle knows before Bodie can tell him). No tear-my-hair-out lads behaving badly and/or stupidly. Doyle's loyalty to Bodie making the happy B/C ending work. Although I think that enjoyment was more possible because there was a veil over the more intimate aspects of their encounters. You haven't converted me *g*.

Doyle's loyalty to Bodie making the happy B/C ending work.

I am attached to their partnership myself. I see love and absolute loyalty between them too (and it's canon, anyway). But I can also see the bond between Bodie and Cowley, something like a father/son relationship turned incestuous? I say it without any moral judgement, they are not father and son and we know human feelings are very complex; I am touched by this relationship because it is weird, unnatural and maybe pathetic, seen from outside, but each one fulfills a need that is vital for the other: a fatherlike figure for Bodie and the revival of his youth for Cowley.

that enjoyment was more possible because there was a veil over the more intimate aspects of their encounters.

Not for me. Quite the contrary. I was easily convinced because I don't see Doyle as attractive. Not at all my type. On the opposite I find Cowley rather handsome in spite of his age; he has a perfectly classic profile, lovely expressive wrinkles and as charming a smile as Bodie's. And his lean body has better proportions than Doyle's. Moreover, power and intelligence are two very strong aphrodisiacs!

2007

A couple of rather odd things have happened to me recently.

The first odd thing was that I actually read a Bodie/Cowley fic. I should explain that the very first Pros slash fic I ever read was a B/C, and I've avoided them like the plague ever since. But there, in my Circuit Library batch, was Jane Carnall and Ann Johnson's 'Lest These Dark Days', and as I have this little idiosyncracy whereby I never send a library story back unread I decided to take the plunge.

And that's when the second odd thing happened - I actually enjoyed it. In fact, I enjoyed it very much.

I've always subscribed to the premise that George Cowley would never, ever indulge in a sexual relationship with any of his junior officers, male or female. I believed that it would be totally unthinkable for someone of his background, a man who has spent his life dedicated to the service of his country and all that that entailed. And yet from the very first moment that Bodie made his first advances to Cowley I found the whole thing completely believable.

Here we have two desperately lonely men. One - Bodie - who spends his life going from one one-night stand to another, never giving his real name to a lover, never allowing himself to develop any sort of relationship. And the other - Cowley - whose only means of sexual gratification is through the use of prostitutes. With each other they find a hitherto unknown level of contentment and fulfilment, and an intense emotional involvement that takes both of them by surprise.

There were a couple of things about this story which helped convert me to the B/C relationship as it's written here. Firstly, no graphic B/C sex - much as I admire the Controller of CI5, I do not wish to have to picture his dangly bits in my mind's eye. The most we see are a few kisses and one or two embraces - and very effective they are too. Secondly, there is no conflict with the friendship and working relationship between Bodie and Doyle. Their bond and their friendship is as strong as ever but that's as far as it goes. Doyle is terminally straight and Bodie, although openly gay, has absolutely no sexual attraction whatsoever to his partner. I have to say that if there had been the slightest hint of attraction or unrequited love on the part of either Bodie or Doyle to the other then I would have had to give up.

If, like me, you've always been completely averse to the concept of B/C then I urge you to give 'Lest These Dark Days' a chance. It can be found on the Circuit Archive here. I was also very pleased to learn that there are also two sequels to the story which, although not online as yet, I'm hoping to read soon.

It was this work that convinced me that B/C could actually work.

I was completely drawn in, much to my amazement...

I don't think I can read this story. I realize that a mature reader should give everything a try and allow the writer the opportunity to convince her or him that a particular premise works, but I'm not that mature a reader. I commend you for giving it a try and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Maybe down the road, when I'm in Pros longer, and not so emotionally invested in B/D, I will try reading it myself. Thanks for pointing it out.

...it is good, isn't it... I can't quite buy it really, because I don't see the B/C slash in the eps, as I do with B/D, but I can go along with it, and appreciate the story. And it does have to be a good story to make me read B/C - or D/C for that matter! But that's Jane Carnall for you, she is good!

This is a good point - if you don't see B/C in the actual show, it's much harder to buy it in a story. I've actually looked for B/C in the show, because I knew some people paired Bodie and Cowley, but I didn't see it. I did see a great affection for Bodie in some of Cowley's actions, but it didn't seem to be romantic in nature to me. More fatherly. Whereas I think Bodie and Doyle are flirting with each other much of the time. But of course, that's just my take on it! JMMV!

I can and will only read pairings in which I believe/can see/could maybe possibly see/like both characters a lot (okay so I'm narrow-minded like that *g* and it does make me feel a tad guilty sometimes when people who aren't into my pairing, G/D for example, read my stories and praise them, but I cannot read their G/Di stories). Now whilst I really love Cowley, I think he's wonderful, I cannot see him in a relationship with Bodie or Doyle, so there's no point me reading it.

You know, I'm really glad you fell for this. Jane Carnall is a good writer, and she does a really convincing job of positing B/C. I love the themes and the ideas she works with--I think it's about the only way I could see B/C. And there's something in my that responds to the, well, the danger and the irresistable element within it. But, ahem, having said that...I haven't read it and...can't. *g* Shameful, isn't it? But I've been in Pros for twelve years or more now and I'm stll not able to read it. My passion for B/D is so overwhelming...it just hurts too much to read this. Maybe if Doyle wasn't in the story at all. But he is, and so I'd spend the whole time saying, "But!" *g* I used to argue, at least to myself, that B/C was another fandom, so I wasn't required to read it, right? Just as I'm not required to read Harry Potter stories. *g* But the truth of the matter is, I can't read this--the story couldn't get past my passion and I couldn't give it a fair shot. So, love the ideas behind it; know the writing is great; glad to hear that others love it. Can't read it. *g*

The fact that the Bodie and Doyle of this story had absolutely no interest in each other sexually was the saving grace for me. There wasn't even the remotest chance of them getting together, so I suppose I just felt happy that someone could bring a little brightness into Bodie's desperately lonely existence (even if that someone was Cowley!)

B/C became my favourite pairing as soon as I discovered it, by mere chance, by a search at random in the circuit archive, and of course it was the JC story you are discussing. Well the very first time I was stunned and even slightly shocked but the second time I was moved and the third totally seduced. I explain why in my recs. I have now all the sequels and I even typed a part of "This Classical Dilemma" because I absolutely wanted to have it as a file. But the most achieved part of the trilogy is the third in my opinion ("As Games Are Played"); I see it as a real masterpiece, mainly because it so clearly shows all the dramatic issues of such a difficult relationship, with intelligence and sensibility. I realise these difficulties are the very reasons which attracted me to this pairing and distracted me from the OTP, the other one being that I love Cowley as a character and a type.

Nope, no can do. I've never seen that sort of attachment between them on the screen and just the image of the two of them in bed..well, no, I can't do it. Doesn't matter how well written the story is. Besides, I'd keep seeing it as a betrayal of Doyle so I would be terribly unhappy through the whole story!

You do make a convincing argument. Not that I'm convinced exactly, but I can see that see that the story could be well-written and appealing. I read a D/C once by Nell Howell. "The White Cloth." I didn't mind it as much as I thought (although it took me three tries to get through it), but of course ultimately it's a B/D story. I agree with the others -- I've never seen anything but a mildly paternal affection for Bodie in Cowley, so I just can't believe that pairing. In fact...it sort of worries me even reading that those fics exist. *g*

Thank you for this recommendation! Just wanted to say I wholeheartedly agree with what you say above!

That's not such a surprise to me because good fan fic writers always could persuade me to a setting or pairing that looks strange at first. My interest in fan fic is probably less- well, passionate than most- I look at a fandom for slash fan fic if there are characters in it, that can tell a story that I am interested in. And with that I'm always prepared to take every risk of an AU or unusual pairing that's out there IF, great IF the author does a good job with it. I've read some B/C by this author and liked it but it was mostly very dark and depressing. To what you say I'd like to add: Everybody is in character. Doyle isn't left out. He cares nearly as much about his partner as he would do as his lover. Dyole's not in love with Bodie but still he's very important to Doyle. This setting also does something I would like to see more: the combination of a male couple in combination with just platonic friendship/(and or het couples). A setting in which there is no competition between these. That's very seldom in slash fan fic and I would like to read it more often not in an idealised but in a realistic way as it is done here.

The relationship between Bodie and Cowley is realistic and not overly romanticised nor dramatised. In this story it's not as if it's the happiest marriage of the year. As you said: two lonely men. Two restrained men. The atmosphere of their meetings often feels comfortable, vulnerable, even close to split up again, they are acting clumsy, restrained just as I think it would be between two men like this.

As you said the absence of graphic sex is a plus. Some stories need the graphic sex, others are doing well with only hints or little memorised details as it is done here. I love the details here (need them so I can believe that the author believes in them having sex, even if she doesn't write it) There's by example the repeated scene of Bodie and Cowley lying in bed snuggled up with Bodie having an arm around Cowley. It also says that the trustfulness is more important and needed than some hot sex. I agree with that idea because it's truth that hot sex is worth nothing without trust. I also love Bodie befuddling Cowley, having a shy respect but also getting his own way with him.

I too, agree, that it feels a bit twisted to betray my OTP but if it's done that good I do it cheerfully. :-) I would love to read more of this.