JediStarDarkFalconKnight

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Zine
Title: JediStarDarkFalconKnight
Publisher:
Editor(s): Maggie Nowakowska
Date(s): 1984
Series?:
Medium: print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom: Star Wars
Language: English
External Links:
inside back cover, "Our Founder"
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.
front cover of zine, Karen River
front and back covers
back cover

JediStarDarkFalconKnight is a gen Star Wars parody zine, brought to life when some fans created a humorous flyer poking fun at some of the popular authors and stories of the day. The flyer was such a hit a zine was produced to go with it. It had a single issue. It is 61 pages long and is digest-sized.

An ad in Southern Enclave: "This hummer's gonna cost you a cool buck-fifty and for a buck-fifty you get no offset, no 4-color, no perfect binding, not even full size pages! What you DO get is just some of the funniest self-indulgent parodies you're bound to find in a Kodak-copied, digest-size SW zine this season!"

An ad in Universal Translator #20: "We have no idea how long it will be, but it's bound to be short. We have no idea how much it will cost, but it can't be more than a buck or two. And even if you aren't interested in the strangest rising--to-the-challenge to hit SW fandom yet, we're going to print it for ourselves and for all the contributors mentioned in the infamous flyer distributed at MediaWest*Con III."

A fan in 2016 wrote: "A parody zine, with in-jokes galore, and outrageously funny to those who understand them." [1]

The Creators Remember

Karen Winter, one of the contributors remembers the flyer (and the subsequent fanzine) thusly:

ballot included in the Media West #4 program book
Back at MediaWestCon 3, someone passed out a parody flyer listing imaginary stories by a number of active fan writers for an imaginary future zine:

"Now, at last, the STAR WARS zine you've always said you wanted. Just add water to this flyer and it will turn into 1,000 pages of infinitely reduced, erratically-typed pages guaranteed to drive you blind. When you have JEDIDARKSTARFALCONKNIGHT you'll never need to read another STAR WARS fanzine. And some of you won't be able to."

The authors listed on the flyer were so taken with the idea that, under the prodding of Maggie Nowakowska of Thousandworlds Collected universe (therein known as Lotsaworlds) fame, each author actually wrote a piece following the description on the flyer, parodying her own typical stories. My blurb read:Raan is given a chance at every clone's dream — humanity. But to achieve it, he must apprentice himself to a cobbler on Geppettoine. Can Raan grovel effectively at Darth Vader's feet from twelve parsecs away?" [2]
In 2012, Maggie Nowakowska shared her memories of the zines origins: The zine was:
...based on a parody zine flyer that appeared mysteriously at MWC. We did the first edition with the author still unknown (we took a picture of a friend with a bag over her head to stand in for the author), but by the third edition, eluki bes sharar had owned up to writing the flyer. It was so great that everyone mentioned on the flyer participated, writing their own parodies or drawing take-offs of their style for the stories. [3]

From a 1983 Ad

WARNING! There's a satirist on the loose and she's freed a whole gaggle more. Whoever wrote the JEDISTARDARKFALCONKNIGHT flyer released at MediaWest 3 has inspired the folks mentioned therein to call her/his bluff. We're actually writing the incredible stories mentioned on that sheet. And we certainly hope the only reconstituted zine in fandom history will live up to its hype. Don't know the length (short); don't know the price (rock-bottom), but if you're interested in finding out when we do, SASE Maggie Nowakowska, [address redacted]. We may even make it out by New Year; next MWCon for sure! Oh, and by the by, anyone out there who knows who penned that wonderful flyer... drop a line. Such genius should not go unacclaimed! [4]

From a 1984 Ad

Okay, the moment of truth is nearly here! JEDISTARDARKFALCONKNIfiHT is pulling itself together for an April Fool's pubdate. (*No comments*) That's 60+ pages of insanity, folks, just like the flyer promised indirectly Authors are: Osman, bes Shahar, Stevens & Barbara T, Hendricks A Block, Mularski, Block, Paciello, Nussman, Matthews, Stevenson, Hill & Firmstone, Wilson, Wenck, Hicks, Nowakowska, Zeek AND we even drummed up some top-flight artists, but that's a surprise. But-truth in advertising-we're not promising the moon for a buck fifty, you get no offset, no 4-color, no perfect binding, not even full size pages. What you do get is Just some of the funniest and most acute self-indulgent parodies you're bound to find in a Kodak-copies, digest size SW zine this season, 1st edition (April Fool's pubdate) send $1.50 to above name and address before March 15. All other orders received by May 15 will get Edition Two and should be filled by Media West Con #4. Yes, we're still looking for the original flyer culprit. [5]

Contributors

Authors include: Paula Block & Jackie P., CarolMel Ambassador, Jean Stevenson, Pat Nussman, Anne Elizabeth Zeek, Judi H., Susan Matthews, Karen Osman, Barbara T, and Maggie Nowakowska.

Artists include: Martynn, Karen River, Pam K., Mary-Stacy MacDonald., Mro L., Wanda Lybarger, eluki bes shahar, and Pat O'Neill.

a flyer, click to enlarge

From the Editorial

The madness that follows surely speaks for itself. I am merely the instrument of its distribution. I would like to state for the record that all inaccuracies, typos, ridiculous layout, and any other such publishing mistakes are all part of the fun. Honest. Trust me. I'm a writer, not a pub - whoops, wrong show. Still, I would like to apologize to the authors on one count: I tried, I really did, to manage at least one meaning-changing typo per story. Honest. I didn't meet my goal, however. I'm sorry. I hope no one feels left out.

I have been asked if there will be a second issue of JSDFK. Are you kidding? We plan threee printings, one for contributors and the true believers who SASEd, one for May/MediaWest Con A, and one for the end of summer (if the demand exists). That's it. I'm going back to writing the stuff — it's easier. However, my interpetation of the enclosed flyer is that our Mysterious Instiga tor plans a second flyer. I may be wrong; I hope I'm not; I am just as eagerly looking forward to one of the poor souls honored writers mentioned therein printing her version of the next insanity!

Special thanks to the artists. None were mentioned in the flyer, save Gordon. All came through in the clinch, despite horrendous schedules/commitments/last minute moves. I'd especially like to thank Karen River who volunteered to do the cover, not knowing at all what I would do with her artwork. And to Eluki who provided stats and typesetting for B*BR*R*W*NK's pieces. And to Jean who typed her own piece, providing yet another typeface for the zine. And to all the contributors for being so prompt, so cooperative ... This is your zine — heh, heh, like it or not! One rousing round of applause too, for everyone who SASEd the first tenative ads. Would have never made it through without you, guys. You believed.

Permission To Copy

In issue #23 of the Southern Enclave, the editor and publisher of the series, Maggie gave permission for the zine to be photocopied for personal use.

Contents

  • Love Among the Ruins by Pat Nussman, art by Wanda Lybrarger (On an ore-freighter heading nowhere in particular, Leia and Han teach Darth Vadar to waltz.) (2)
  • Last Tango on Endor (filk) by Jani Hicks, art by Pat O'Neill (6)
  • The Insubstantial Pageant by B*RB*R*W*NK, art by M.R.O. Ludwig (7)
  • Lost Our Lease, or, Everything Must Go by Paula Block and Judi Hendricks, art by Martynn (9)
  • Triumph of the Will by Sylvia Stevens and Barbara T, art by Contess (24)
  • Honor Blinds Me by Karen Osman (Raan is given a chance at every clone's dream--humanity. But to achieve it, he must apprentice himself to a cobbler on Geppettoine. Can Raan grovel effectively at Darth Vadar's feet from twelve parsecs away?) (26)
  • Really Deep Cover by *NNW*LS*N (27)
  • Elegaic Cantata for Skulls by Eluki bes Shahar, art by Shahar (Kobyashi Maru, Lady Vadar, wipes out an entire planetary population while contemplating the philosophical question of whether wearing her hair in braids is Evil.) (30)
  • Evolution of a Messiah by Jean Stevenson, art by Mary Stacy-MacDonald (34)
  • ... And Slow Time by B*RB*R*W*NK (36)
  • Continuationalizer: Part 143 by Paula Block and Paciello (37)
  • Reflections in Still Water by Carol Mularski, art by Pam A. Kowalski (40)
  • The Inquisitor’s Lot by Susan R. Matthews, art by Steve Gallacci (45)
  • Continuationalizer: Part 133 by Paula Block and Paciello (47)
  • Fur Auld Lang Sine by Kelley Hill and Jane Firmstone (50)
  • Suvisi Svijeti Knjizevnosti by Maggie Kowalska (52)
  • Torch Song by Anne Elizabeth Zeek (53)
  • Is There in Frogs No Warts?, Federal Express, A Gift from Daddy, Planned Parenthood, Why the Rebellion Did Not End Sooner are all short shorts by Marcia Brin, and they are printed throughout the zine
  • Torch Song (7 pages)

Gallery

References

  1. by kslangley at What was your first fandom?, June 28, 2016
  2. Karen Winter; Webcite
  3. Facebook thread remembering MediaWest's past dated June 16, 2012.
  4. from Scoundrel #1
  5. from Jundland, Too #1 (February 1984)