Here is the secret to fandom: Give zero fucks about what anyone else is doing.

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Title: Untitled
Creator: Femservice
Date(s): June 1 2015
Medium: Tumblr post
Fandom: Panfandom
Topic:
External Links: Tumblr post (dashboard locked), Archived version
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Here is the secret to fandom: Give zero fucks about what anyone else is doing. is a post by Tumblr user Femservice. The post has over 118 thousand notes.

Here is the secret to fandom:

Give zero fucks about what anyone else is doing.

Seriously. I mean it. Because inevitably you will love something that no one else loves. Or you will love something that everyone loves and people will shit all over it because it’s “so trite and unimaginative and done.” Or you will love something that no one else has ever heard of. Or you will love something dark and edgy and or obscure and people will roll their eyes and say, “What, do you want people to think you’re dark and edgy and obscure?”

Alternatively, you will not love the thing that everyone else loves, and you will wonder what precisely is wrong with you that the sight of that thing is aggravating the shit out of you now when the whole world sings its praises as one.

People will irritate you. They’ll irritate you with headcanons that make no sense and misinterpretations of canon. They will make the same jokes 500 times. They will overwhelm your corner of fandom with something you either are tired of hearing about or don’t care about. They will post art that isn’t theirs. You will meet people who think you are the greatest person ever and bombard you with messages only to wander off when they find someone new or shinier; you will meet people whom you admire and who do not really seem to notice you exist.

So give zero fucks about it. Seriously. Like what you like, blacklist what you need to blacklist, and ignore everything else. Be friends, play nice, enjoy it. And in the meantime, just do you. Like what you like, love what you love, and to hell with all the rest of it.

Responses

[quirklestrash]
This is the best thing I’ve ever read on this site. I’ve been with different fandoms for years now and constantly felt like I’m not good enough of a blog or that I can never make friends on here or that I like the dead stuff that no one writes about or is even interested in anymore. I finally found the my hero fandom which is new and fresh and still I see people constantly putting each other down for petty reasons and dissing on each other’s ships. Just do what you want and be kind to each other it really doesn’t take that much and not everyone has to have the same opinion as you. If you don’t like their take on a certain part of the fandom well that’s okay, just be like okay fine and don’t discuss it with them. No reason to be rude about it. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk… [1]
[shadowedlove97]
This is really good advice. Like seriously.

I was in the Voltron fandom. I remember it before it got really toxic. By season 4 I learned my lesson and started doing this.

Block posts that don’t make you happy. Block blogs and people that don’t make you happy. Block tags that don’t make you happy. It’s okay. No one is obligated to be dragged down by negativity surrounding something they ultimately enjoy. You’re allowed to just enjoy things. You don’t have to be hyper-critical about everything. You don’t have to enjoy everything the fandom puts out either. You don’t even have to like everyone in the fandom either.

Just dig out your little niche, plant your little base camp there, and hang out. It’s alright. And if a friendly hiker stumbles upon your little camp, don’t be afraid to invite them over for some s'mores.
[subtleshenanigans]
Honestly I’ve left many fandoms (including Voltron). And, it’s freeing. Feel free to block what you don’t like. Be kind to others. Enjoy what you do and just pass by what you don’t. ^^^^also really like the little hiker with s’mores idea. [2]
[raptured-night]
Take it from a fandom dinosaur, I’ve made some very good friends over the years through the various fandoms I’ve been in. Some have even been lasting friendships. Fandom can be a very positive social experience but on the flip side, it can also be negative. There are toxic people who would make fandom a toxic place and sometimes even your best efforts to shut them out don’t always work (sad to say, I’ve even had cyber-stalkers try to find ways around being blocked to harass me or anyone I have contact with) and that isn’t your fault.

Sometimes all you can do is just take a breath and take a step back from fandom and recognize the people sending you hate about whatever it is you like are the problem, that they choose to be so invested they’ve lost perspective on what truly matters and no longer care if they hurt others. Don’t let their problems become your problem, let them spin their wheels and implode over fandom and do your very best to try to stay above it all by celebrating what you enjoy about your fandom and surrounding yourself with the good people in that fandom.

On that note, there are also people who flock around you if you’re very vocal and active in fandom because you’re producing content they like or you’re someone validating the things they like about fandom. They will pass themselves off as your friends but the very moment you stop feeding them what they want they’ll drop you for the next “shiny thing” as OP said. Try not to feel too hurt. Identifying those people who are “users” in fandom isn’t always easy as some of those people can be quite convincing about wanting to be your friend (until they don’t). Again, that is their problem and the best thing you can do for yourself is not to allow them to make it your own.

My advice is not to confuse “followers” with “friends” because not every person who follows you will necessarily be a friend, some may just like your content (which is fine) and some may be so focused on consuming the content they want or having their headcanons/opinions/etc. validated (by you and anyone else) they don’t care who they use and then later discard (which is not fine) because they don’t recognize the very real people and emotions behind these accounts (the illusion of anonymity prevails). This is why you shouldn’t be afraid to assert yourself and speak your mind in fandom, even when your opinion runs counter to the popular ideas of the vocal majority. Resisting the pull of mob-mentality is the best way to find out who is a follower and who is a genuine friend. The people who stick around even when you’re not saying what they want you to say or have lost interest in the fandom you met each other in, those are your “ride or die” friends. Don’t get sucked so far down the rabbit-hole you lose yourself (i.e. your individuality) to a fandom. I’ve seen it one too many times where fandoms become a veritable echo chamber. That’s how fandoms become toxic and how they eventually die because they make no room for new people with fresh ideas or alternative ways of thinking. Fandoms are at their best when they’re allowed to be a melting pot of ideas and different people. [3]

References

  1. ^ Tumblr post by quirklestrash, Archived version
  2. ^ post chain from shadowedlove97 and subtleshenanigans, Archived version
  3. ^ Post by raptured-night, Archived version