Check Yourself
| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Check Yourself |
| Author(s): | Joverie, meaninglessblah |
| Date(s): | June 8, 2019 - March 3, 2021 |
| Length: | 102,752 words (35 chapters) |
| Genre(s): | Tim Drake/Jason Todd |explicit slash AU fanfiction |
| Fandom(s): | Batman, DC Comics |
| Relationship(s): | |
| External Links: | AO3 |
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Check Yourself is a Jason Todd/Tim Drake alternate universe slash fanfic by Joverie and meaninglessblah.
Summary
As at April 27th 2021, the summary reads:
Tim Drake is a national-level figure skating medallist coached by former pairs champion Bruce Wayne and mentored by prematurely-retired singles prodigy Dick Grayson.
Jason Todd is the left wing forward for the NHL Gotham City Jokers and former protégé of Bruce Wayne.
Plot Synopsis
Tim Drake is a figure skater coached by the prestigious former skater Bruce Wayne. He is mentored closely by retired skater Dick Grayson, who previously suffered a career-ending injury during his 2012 Worlds performance. Tim trains alongside Stephanie Brown and Damian Wayne, Bruce's son. He is preparing for his final competitive season at junior level, and aiming to transition into adult figure skating with a competition win.
Due to Bruce's rink undergoing refurbishment, Tim rents a training slot at Cobblepot's rink, which is home to the local hockey team, the Gotham City Jokers (the Jokers). His intensive sessions cause friction with the Jokers' left wing forward Jason Todd, who antagonises Tim. They quickly strike up a relationship.
While training at the Jokers' rink with Dick, it's revealed that Jason was a former protégé of Bruce's school, and competed during Dick's skating tenure. He was present in the crowd during Dick's last performance, and was subsequently benched by Bruce for fear of Jason suffering a similar injury due to recklessness. Jason later quit skating and entered the National Hockey League (NHL) professionally.
After an altercation between Jason and Dick at Tim's training session, Dick reveals to Tim that despite his injury, he is still performing complex skating elements in secret. Tim expresses horror at this admission and chastises Dick.
Jason discovers Tim is attempting to replicate Dick's failed 2012 Worlds routine. When interrogated on his intentions, Tim admits that he is trying to record a successful performance as a gift for Dick, who due to a concussion no longer remembers his most technically exceptional routine. Tim has not yet managed to complete the routine without failing the crucial, coveted and extremely difficult quad Lutz triple axel element.
Jason and Tim go on a date at the Jokers' rink after hours. It escalates quickly to making out and light frottage. They mutually agree to part ways for the evening before anything can develop further.
Jason competes in the first divisional hockey match of the season against the Bludhaven Angels. During the match, he accidentally cross-checks an opponent and earns a penalty for the opposition. Afterwards, Jason is called to his manager Jack Napier's office, where he is reprimanded for his foul play. It is revealed that Jack and Jason have had an unrequited sexual relationship since Jason joined the Jokers two year prior. It is strongly implied that Jason does not entirely consent to the sexual relationship.
Tim hangs out with Stephanie, where he reveals a deeper infatuation with Jason, and Stephanie expresses a hero worship of the hockey player. Later, Tim and Jason meet at Bruce's skating rink and their plans for a date are gate-crashed by Dick.
After some cajoling, Tim convinces Dick to perform some skating lifts with Jason. Afterwards, the three skaters bond.
Tim and Damian compete at Sectionals. It is Damian's first time performing a triple axel, which invokes the family tradition of having celebratory chili dogs.
Jason competes in the second divisional match against the Metropolis Jets. After a particularly good match, the team celebrates in the locker room; Jason engages in good-natured roughhousing with fellow teammates Slade Wilson, Roman Sionis, Harvey Dent, Jonathan Crane and Waylon Jones. When the team leaves for dinner, Jack congratulates Jason on his gameplay and sexually assaults him.
Later, Tim and Jason go back to Tim's apartment for a date, where things progress to sexual intercourse. In the course of foreplay, Jason is triggered to his earlier interaction with Jack, and reluctantly withdraws. Sensing Jason's discomfort, Tim suggests an alternate date at a roller derby night hosted by the Birds of Prey. Jason suffers an accidental concussion, and Tim notices a cigarette burn left by Jack prior. At Jason's request, he doesn't press for details, but reaffirms his support of Jason.
While skating with Tim at Bruce's rink, Jason is strong-armed into a reconciliation with his former coach by Dick. He and Bruce argue over Jason's retirement six years prior, before reluctantly admitting fault on both sides. Jason also raises Bruce's refusal to allow Tim to perform quadruple elements as a point of contention.
Tim is invited to a team dinner by Jack, despite Jason's discreet protests. While at the restaurant, Jack corners Tim in the bathroom and assaults him, claiming that Jason "belongs" to him. Their altercation is interrupted by Slade, and Jason suffers a panic attack.
Back at the apartment, Jason confesses his relationship with Jack to Tim. After an emotional reconciliation, they have sexual intercourse.
Jason assists Tim with recording Dick's routine, by performing a lift to achieve the complex element. Together, they successfully record the performance, but are discovered by Bruce. Tim is berated for attempting dangerous elements with an inexperienced skater, but their argument is interrupted by Damian, who shows them a breaking news article accusing Jason of sexually assaulting Tim during their first date. It is implied that the exclusive footage released was provided by Jack.
Jason undergoes intense scrutiny, and prepares for his professional misconduct hearing, fearing a league exclusion despite his innocence.
Tim competes in Championships and scores silver after performing an unplanned quadruple jump. He is berated by Bruce for his recklessness, but Dick steps in to refute Bruce's accusations and accuses Bruce of projecting Dick's failures onto his other students. Bruce and Tim then reconcile.
After Jason is given a minor punishment for his false misconduct, he and Tim reunite. Jason competes in the Stanley Cup finals, with the family attending in the crowd. Tensions arise between Bruce, Damian and Talia al Ghul, who manages Jason's former team, the Port Oswego Assassins.
Ultimately, the Jokers lose the finals, and an incensed Jack assaults an Assassins' fan and then Jason when he intervenes. Jason is rescued by Bruce and the family. Security escorts Jack from the premises while the family comforts a shaken Jason.
At a post-season fundraising gala, Slade reveals that Jack has been arrested on charges of assault, and after an emotional breakdown, Jason reveals his sexual assault to Bruce. It is also revealed that Slade and Dick have struck up a relationship.
Six months on, Tim and Jason attend Dick's birthday at his apartment. They gift Dick a video copy of his 2012 Worlds routine that they performed, and Dick is overwhelmed with gratitude. Tim also reveals that he has been selected for the upcoming Worlds in Montreal. Dick suggests that he, Tim, Jason and Damian go on a road trip.
Themes
Despite it's somewhat frivolous reputation as a Hockey AU, Check Yourself deals with several serious themes, namely professional-personal life balance, unreported sexual assault in a work context, and resolving past disagreements. The topics are explored in depth, with realistic and tangible complications arising from the characters' choices. The fic strays from the light-hearted optimism often found in alternate universes, and tackles confronting subject matter in-text.
Professional-Personal Life Balance
Both Tim and Jason maintain high profile professional careers throughout Check Yourself; Tim is a national-level junior figure skater graduating into his adult career, and Jason is a new-start hockey player in the national League.
Tim struggles with the pressures of bridging into an adult career as Bruce fetters his complex elements and hinders his prospects.
Jason is eager to establish himself as a valuable player after earlier complications during his debut season with his former team. He feels guilty over costing the Assassins a Stanley Cup win, and holds himself responsible for being traded out to the Jokers. He alludes to suffering some emotional abuse under Talia's leadership, but is convinced it also put him in good stead for when he joined the Jokers.
Both athletes must contend with their public and high profile relationship, as well as the resulting attention from paparazzi. They come under intense scrutiny when an early video misinterpreting Jason's advances on Tim as unwanted and non-consensual is sensationalised. Jason receives a professional misconduct charge that threatens his career, including his reputations and sponsorships. The media buzz is further sensationalised by Tim being only eighteen years old to Jason's twenty-one. Bruises from an assault perpetrated by Jason's manager Jack are misconstrued as signs of an abusive relationship between Tim and Jason, which Tim aggressively refutes.
During a post-match press conference, Jason is confronted over statements made by Tim, and insinuations of domestic abuse. Jason disparagingly denies the accusations, and alludes to being a victim of abuse himself. Pressure mounts with the timing of the accusations; Jason is heading into the finals season, and Tim is competing in championships when the news breaks. Jason and Tim mutually but reluctantly agree to abstain from seeing each other until Jason's misconduct charges are addressed by the hockey board. They are ultimately reduced to a misdemeanour, and Jason only suffers minor repercussions.
The fic deals with the complications of intimate relationships between professional athletes, and the pressures of performing at a crucial career point despite intense publicity. Both Jason and Tim prioritise their budding careers over sharing time together, choosing to preserve the reputations they've worked hard to cultivate at a key pivot point in their professional lives. Check Yourself is unique in that it applies a realistic lens to this work-life balance; neither Jason nor Tim are ever pressured into retiring for the sake of their relationship, or seriously compromising their professional career for the other.
Unreported Sexual Assault
An underlying plot throughout Check Yourself is Jack's sexual assaults on Jason. While this is initially portrayed as dub-con, it swiftly progresses to a non-con encounter.
Jason alludes to an earlier interest from Jack that began when he first signed onto the Jokers. Jason describes their relationship as Jack's "distraction", and admits to being "eager-to-please" and unwittingly encouraging Jack's advances, which he initially misinterpreted as professional interest in Jason's budding career. Their relationship never progresses to sexual intercourse, and centred on Jason receiving sexual stimulation from Jack.
As Jason strikes up a relationship with Tim, he grows more wary of Jack's interest. He struggles to appease Jack, concerned that his new relationship with Tim will incite Jack's jealousy. Despite Jack's initial 'blessing' on their relationship, Jack later assaults Tim as retribution for him flaunting his 'ownership' of Jason.
Throughout the fic, Jason is reluctant to admit any relationship and any assault. Despite several instances of Tim noticing signs of foul play - including a cigarette burn that Jack leaves on Jason's hand, and Jason's skittish behaviour after interacting with Jack - Jason refutes any misconduct. He encourages Tim to disregard his concerns, fearing further spite from Jack.
Check Yourself explores themes of agency, and the complex nature of unreported sexual assault perpetrated by a superior in a work environment. Jason struggles with fears of compromising his newfound career by reporting Jack, and believes that Jack's longer history with the league will favour him if it came to proceedings.
Ultimately, the sexual assaults go unreported, and no legal action is taken against Jack. Jason shares his trauma with Tim and Bruce, to much personal relief. He expresses further relief at not having to confront Jack directly, instead preferring that he be serendipitously removed from Jason's life by an unrelated criminal conviction. The author wanted to explore the realistic difficulties of reporting sexual misconduct in a professional setting, and how often it can be in the victim's best interest not to pursue a direct legal confrontation in order to preserve their professional career. The pressures of dealing with on-going sexual assault and personal shame associated with victimhood are also addressed through Jason's story.
Past Disagreements
The main source of personal conflict in the fic arises from Bruce and Jason's unresolved tension regarding Jason's premature retirement from figure skating. Jason resents Bruce for comparing him to Dick, and projecting his failures onto Jason's career. Bruce chastises Jason for attempting reckless elements above his capability. The fic addresses some classist themes, exploring historical context around Jason attempting powerful jumps as a way to combat prejudices in the skating community centring on his low socio-economic background.
“Jason was antagonistic,” Bruce says tightly, but when Tim’s gaze jerks up, his expression is fond. “He pushed not only his boundaries, but the boundaries of everyone else around him. He was a leader among his peers.”
Tim studies his expression, nails biting into the timber bench. “But.”
Bruce sighs. “But he wasn’t in the ‘in crowd’. He wasn’t prepared for the elitism of the skating world. With his background, where he came from... Perhaps I should have prepared him better. I don’t know how I could have, but I do know their criticisms weighed on him, especially at that age.”
His eyes slip closed, the regret in his expression plainly visible even in the shadows of the bleachers. Tim has to look away from that raw swell of emotion after a moment, lowering it back to his knees.
“He was never going to be perfect. They were never going to give him the chance to be.”
Bruce admits to Tim that Jason was ostracised by the community, who resented the prestige Bruce offered him in choosing Jason as his protégé. Unable to live up to the unobtainable 'perfect' image the community demanded, Jason sought to boost his technical scores by attempting elements with difficulties far above his peers. Jason saw Bruce curbing his powerful jumps as him robbing Jason of his only advantage. The conflict culminated in Jason attempting a dangerous combination jump - a converse mirror of Dick's own failed jump - during his Junior Worlds routine one year after Dick's injury. Bruce accused Jason of being reckless, and the argument resulted in Jason retiring from skating.
Throughout the fic, it is clear that Jason still resents Bruce for his decision, and that Bruce maintains his position. They later gradually reconcile, by admitting fault on both sides. An eye-opening interaction with Dick also persuades Bruce that he is erroneously projecting his fears for Dick onto his students - both Jason and now Tim, in refusing to allow him to perform quadruple jumps. Bruce concedes that he is misplacing his blame, and apologises to Tim. Bruce admits that he owes tim responsibility as his coach to prepare him to achieve complex elements, not to hold him back. Bruce also apologises to Jason, telling him that Jason "push[es] everyone around you because you know they can be better. [Bruce] included."
The reconciliation, as well as Bruce's efforts to embrace Jason's new professional career, ultimately repair their relationship.
Reviews
As at April 27th 2021, Check Yourself has garnished over 1000 kudos, over 300 bookmarks, and over 400 comment threads.
It has received praise for embedding stark canon parallels in a realistic verse without compromising accessibility with the technical aspects of Figure Skating and Hockey. Many commenters have remarked on how easily understandable the technical language is, despite having little to no familiarity with either sport. Other commenters enthused over personal parallels to Dick Grayson being excluded from his passion due a sports injury, and praised its relatability. The fic was also commended for dealing with complex themes around sexual abuse, and prioritising Jason's personal agency over more narratively satisfying public blowouts.
Inspired Works
Check Yourself has inspired numerous works, including:
- Slapshot, a Jason-centric prequel by Jonaira
- Break the Ice, a Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson sequel by withthekeyisking
The original author was consulted by both inspired authors before works were posted.