An Anguish to Pay

Fanfiction
Title:	An Anguish to Pay
Author(s):	Teri White
Date(s):	1978
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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An Anguish to Pay is a Kirk/Spock story by Teri White.

It was published in Naked Times #1.

Part of a Series

• Hour of Lead in Thrust
• An Anguish to Pay in Naked Times #1
• Hour of Gold in Nome #2

Summary

"This is one possibility of how Kirk and Spock might deal with the pon farr… and how it will ultimately affect their continued relationship."

From the flyer: "AN ANGUISH TO PAY is Teri's long awaiting sequel to HOUR OF LEAD which appeared in THRUST. This is perhaps one of the most realistic pon farr stories you will ever read. It represents a very real view of both Kirk and Spock's experiences during pon farr, and gives the reader a very unique view of the biological imperative."

Sample Print Pages

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  Al Zequeira

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  Merle Decker

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  Merle Decker

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  Merle Decker

Reactions and Reviews

1978

Teri White's "An Anguish to Pay"', the sequel to her "Hour of Lead" in Thrust, is somewhat less satisfying, due in part to the predictability of the situation -- a newly bonded Kirk and Spock sharing a secluded shore leave during pan farr. The Vulcan drive is violent and lasts several days, during which Kirk becomes a passive outlet for Spock's needs. The Vulcan, of course, feels guilty for using Kirk so badly. When the plaktow ends, the Captain is left with serious injuries and the two are rescued by McCoy, who reacts with serious anger toward Spock. The issue of Kirk's physical recovery and the violence of pon farr is glossed over, but the story ends happily with Kirk explaining things to a grudgingly understanding McCoy.

1979

Teri's AN ANGUISH TO PAY was everything I had hoped for. I just pray it won't take as long for HOUR OF GOLD to be published. (ED. NOTE: HOUR OF GOLD will be pubbed in NOME 2... I don't think my patience could stand another work-out like that.)

AN ANGUISH TO PAY has a different kind of power. I hope that in HOUR OF GOLD McCoy learns to understand and accept Kirk and Spock's love.

AN ANGUISH TO PAY—It was bound to come sooner or later. I hate to say it, but this story does argue strongly against a pon farr bonding relationship between Kirk and Spock. Do you really think Spock's going to chance damaging Kirk again? It was internal bleeding this time; next time it could be peritonitis, Who knows?

I wouldn't be surprised if Spock teaches Kirk the controls for surviving the severance of the bond—and then engineers a fatal "accident" for himself when he feels the first stirrings of pon farr again. I'm surprised at his naivete, though. In thinking that Kirk would ever consent to let him suicide that way. Once again, you got a good artist in Merle Decker. Especially the illo on pg. 65.

2001

Very h/c. Pon farr and Kirk and Spock. Madness and pain and acceptance and love. Stark picture. I can't seem to stop nitpicking though. Kirk knew what he was going to have to do. Why didn't he prepare himself for anal intercourse, use a muscle relaxant, an analgesic, etc? Anything to help reduce the strain/pain of continuous intercourse and much more importantly, help reduce Spock's guilt factor by a measure of ten when he sees that Kirk isn't hurt badly as opposed to what is being portrayed.