Virtual Pros

Zine
Title:	Virtual Pros
Publisher:	Bovinity Press
Editor(s):
Date(s):	1997-1998
Series?:
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	The Professionals
Language:	English
External Links:
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

front cover

Virtual Pros is a 192-page slash Pros anthology reprinting mailing list fic posted to the CI5 Mailing List circa 1996-97. The zine itself was published in 1997.

The zine has no interior illos, but includes several pages of black and white photographs from the show.

It has a Christmas edition, see Virtual Pros: The Christmas Edition 1998.

Both are sister zines to Living Pros.

From a Flyer

Way back in 1996, we thought it would be fun to do a virtual Christmas present exchange with our listsibs. And what better present to give a member of CI5 than a Pros story? Dorinda [...] wrote a wonderful framework story and everyone posted stories throughout the holiday season. Well, they were too good to forget, plus we wanted to share them with all the Pros fans not on the List; so Lorelei edited them and I published them as a zine. Some of the stories are available on websites, but some are only in the zine.

The Zine's Editorial

Hiya,

Welcome to the zine ... how does anybody ever think what to write in an editorial? It's as bad as an intro to a lit paper. What you are now looking at is the cumulative effort of many of the wonderful folks on the CI5 electronic mailing list I started the list just over a year ago in an effort to find other Pros fans to talk with, and so far it seems to be working quite well. Met some marvellous people, had some marvellous discussions, read some marvellous fiction. And here is much of it; enjoy!

Please note that most of these stories are available in the online library, and some are also now in the paper library. So why make this zine? Wel, as an author, there's just so much in the library, some of us were afraid our stories were getting a bit lost. We realise that not everyone is online, and would hate for people to miss our stories because they don't have net access. In addition, as a listowner I'm very proud of the women who have chosen to join the list and the great fiction they have written for it, and I wanted a showcase to say: this is what our list is doing! And as an editor, I couldn't resist the chance to get my anal-retentive little red marks (metaphorically speaking) on everybody's stories. The versions here generally differ from the circuit versions to some extent, whether it's one differently placed comma, or entire sections of alternate formatting. Many thanks go out to all of the authors who put up with my obsessing over commas and semicolons and variant spelings! I'm thriled you let me use your stories, and you've all been great about it!

Every story in this zine is written by a listmember and has been posted to the list Since we are al on the list, and have e-mail addresses, we figured that would be a great way to receive LOCs. So, for those of you with net access, please feel free to send LOCs directly to the author where there is an address listed at the end of the story. Where there is no address listed, please send LOCs to me, and I wil forward them on. And LOCs by mail are, of course, fine as well. I would also appreciate LOCs on the editing; I've never done a zine before, and it's a learning experience! Spelings have been regularised as much as possible to British forms, but I am a Yank, so I'm sure I've missed some things (and my spellcheck keeps insisting on "rotten" as a more proper spelling for "gotten", but it's so hard to write without it!). Feedback is a good thing. (But please be gentle - it is my first time!)

For those of you that want them, we have included keywords for al the stories, alerting you to their content, so you can read each story forewarned. But please don't skip them because of their subject matter! There are stories here that I'd never have thought I'd've liked, but they're marvelous because of the way the authors handle them. For those of you that don't like to be spoiled about story content, we've stuck these keywords away on the last page of the zine, facing the back cover.

Conclusions are as bad as beginnings... Thanks again to al the folks who made this possible: to the authors, the publisher (All Hail Kendall, Goddess of Quark!), and everyone on the list. I've had a wonderful year, and y'all are mostly responsible! (Can I thank my mom for putting up with me? Is that too corny? Oh, heck with it. Hi, Mom!)

Enjoy, everybody!

Lorelei [:

Contents

Summaries below are from the zine flyer.

• 'Earts and Flowers by Maiden Wyoming ("No, 's not a death story, berk," Doyle snarled. "Better that, than this." "What's worse than one of us dying, mate?" Bodie asked, his voice rising in tone as it did when he was genuinely upset. "Death stories suck. I bloody hate 'em, myself, and "We're not supposed to die. We're supposed to talk," Doyle informed him darkly".) (1)
• Killer Instinct by Georgina Kirrin (8)
• Once More, With Feeling by Lorelei (9)
• A Dozen Red Roses by Elessar (13)
• Young Sinner by James (19)
• Young Sinner, Part 2 by James (23)
• Acropos I, poem by Elizabeth Holden (26)
• Full Circle by Brenda Antrim - crossover with The Chief (The younger man chose to settle next to him on the sofa instead of taking the wing chair angled next to it. He stared into the depths of his drink for a moment, then raised it so that the light from the corner lamp caused the liquid to glow amber. "What shall we drink to? Old days? New? Old acquaintances? Or just a hell of a week?" Cade watched him, caught up in the grace of his movements. Then he grinned suddenly, shifted forward, and clinked the rim of his tumbler to Doyle's. "All of it. Why not. "The crystal rang clearly in the still of the room, and Doyle turned,catching Cade's eye.) (27)
• Yet Another Sequel To Need To Know by Anne Higgins (59)
• Never Staying Quite the Sane by James (65)
• Never Say Never by James (67)
• The Cow's Tale: Doyle in the Manger by by Dorinda (I suppose a man of my background is expected to be a hidebound martinet. It had certainly seemed that way to that lad Pellin. Poor boy made very sure to insist that he "wasn't a homosexual himself" - as if he half expected me to put him back in an armlock. And from the way Doyle and Bodie suddenly became good as gold, I think they had a few visions of armlocks and the like as well. Ridiculous.) (A sequel to "Never Staying Quite the Sane" parts one and two by James Kythe Walkswithwind.) (69)

• Undercover by Elessar (73)
• The Hunter's Bait by Anne Higgins (97)
• Acronet, poem by Russ (108)
• Welcome to the Jungle by Jennifer Lyon (109)

• Flowers for Bodie by Hestia (Doyle came out of the florist's and grinned ruefully at the bouquet in his hands. Pink and white. He could imagine what Bodie would say: Bloody hell, mate, you gone soft in your old age? Cost a fortune too. The pretty blonde assistant had smiled knowingly at him and he'd had to repress the impulse to say who they were for. No use spoiling her illusions) (129)
• Small Hershey's Kiss by Kendall Wochoski (138)
• Life of Luxury by Elizabeth Holden (139)
• Past Sins by Brenda Antrim (141)
• The Request by Georgina Kirrin (drabble) (156)
• A Cow's POV by Anne Higgins (157)
• Night, a drabble by Airelle (164)
• Midsummer's Musing by Jennifer Lyon (number 5 in her Seasons series) (165)
• Midsummer's Days by Jennifer Lyon (number 6 in her Seasons series) (169)
• Midsummer's Nights by Jennifer Lyon (number 7 in her Seasons series) (171)
• Forever Since Just Now by Danajeanne Norris (173)
• Acropos II, poem by Elizabeth Holden ("A Professionals love poem") (178)
• When in Rome by Hestia (From the zine: "Written as a present for the CI5 party, MediaWest 1997. Hope you enjoyed yourself, listsisters.") (179)
• 10 Reasons Why Pros Zines Are Better Than Men by Rick Wochoski (184)
• Licensed to Thrill by Maiden Wyoming (185)
• The New Professionals II: the Squeal aka The Sequel by Mel Ange (189)
• Desperately Seeking Agents by Cassie Ingaben (191)
• What Do You See?, drabble by Jennifer Lyon (193)
• Story Spoilers (194)

Sample Interior

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• 
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  "*STORY SPOILERS* Read at Your Own risk."

Reactions and Reviews: 1997

[Flowers for Bodie]: Doyle remembers his life with Bodie through the flowers that evoke important milestones: pink carnations, white roses and lilies... I love the way the meaning of evey flower Doyle has chosen for their anniversary reflects some wonderful memory of the two of them together. This is a beautiful story and I highly recommend it to anybody.

[Killer Instinct]: Yes, That Other List is doing its annual Christmas Pressie thing, wherein folks post Xmas tidbits and stories and (gak) *filks*. I got momentarily excited when I saw that Georgina Kirrin was posting one; unfortunately, it turned out to be first-person and therefore unreadable for me. Sigh.

Virtual Pros: The Christmas Edition 1998

cover of Christmas edition

Virtual Pros: The Christmas Edition was published in 1998 and contains 190 pages. It is holiday fic that was posted to the CI5 Mailing List in December 1996.

• Intro by Dorinda
• 'Twas the Night before Christmas by Kathleen Ross
• Gift of the Magi by Elizabeth Holden
• The Lonely Season by Jennifer Lyon
• Santa's Basement by James Walkswithwind (Dee Dee just shook his head - whatever he'd been about to say was interrupted by Father Bear. Bo Bo poked him for good measure, and got another glare for his trouble. Then they turned their attention to the small polar bear at the front of the room. "Come on, now, everyone settle down. Bo Bo! Leave him alone. Is everyone here?" There were murmurs of assent. "All right. You know why you're here. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and the lot of you will be headed for your new homes. I've told you all I can about what you'll find waiting for you; not much more I can say, tonight, except to wish you well.")
• O Holy Night by Elizabeth Holden
• Sitting in the Darkness by Debra Hayden
• Deck the Halls by Hestia
• Jealousy is a Pickle-Green-Eyed Monster by MS
• Bodie's Christmas Wish by dak
• Midnight Clear by Elizabeth Holden
• Another Season by Jennifer Lyon
• 12 Days of Christmas, Pros Style by Kendall Hauer and Lee Phillips
• Manifest Destiny by Russ
• Cast in the Wind by James Walkswithwind
• Christmas Future by Maiden Wyoming
• Monkey Suits with Satin and Lace by Dana Jeanne Norris
• Jingle Bells by dak
• A New Season by Jennifer Lyon
• Visions of Sugarplums by Mel Ange
• Roommates by Elessar ("But, Sir-" Doyle whined. Before he could go any further George Cowley interrupted. "Believe me, gentlemen, I sympathise but it can't be helped. We traced back to where Wakeman got your address, Bodie, and it seems that an employee temporarily assigned to housing about six months ago managed to get a list of not only our safehouses but all of our agents' apartments as well. It's going to take six months to a year to acquire suitable safehouses and apartments.")
• The Rescue by dak
• Snippet 1 by dak
• Bodie for Christmas by Meridian
• Side Snippet by Dorinda
• Bugged by Lorelei
• Scrooge's Law? by M.
• Stocking Snippet by James Walkswithwind
• The Best of Intentions by Anne O'Nimus - crossover with The Chief ("I flatter myself I have a unique insight into the problem." He smiled at the younger man's obvious incomprehension. "I thought you might have guessed - I'm bisexual. I lived with a man for seven and a half years.If he hadn't been killed, we'd still be together." Pellin gaped. "Is this on the record?" he asked, incredulously. There had to be a catch. "Oh yes, that's the whole point of this interview. I want the word out on the streets, I'm here and I need to speak to anyone who has any information that can help. Obviously I can't speak to everyone personally but I have assembled a small, hand-picked team of detectives to assist me-" "Are they all gay too?" Cade snorted, amused. "I doubt it very much, but I haven't asked. All I did ask of them was an open, unprejudiced mind - I think I got that.")
• Flip Sides by Bren Antrim
• A Change In Seasons by Jennifer Lyon
• Christmas Past and Future by Meridian - crossover with The Chief
• Stocking Snippet by Dorinda
• Answered Prayers by Elessar
• Christmas Snow by PFL
• Snippet 2 by dak
• Letter to Santa by Carleigh
• Christmas Tradition by Kendall Wochoski
• White Christmas by dak
• Festival of Lights by Dorinda (Every time enemies had tried to assassinate him, George Cowley had always outwitted and outfought them. But this time, one false step had made him their captive, put him foursquare into this ticking death chamber, with Bodie and Doyle only finding him through hard work and a tip from a reluctant informer. Now the smug enemies were heaped upstairs, sightless bodies gripping cold weapons. And the desperation of the rescue meant that there was no one left alive to disarm the complicated mechanism. After such effort, after defeating the many with so few, they had still come to this. One minute left.)
• Father Christmas Once a Year by James Walkswithwind
• Conclusion by Dorinda
• Filksong by Dana Jeanne
• Keywords and Spoilers

Reactions and Reviews: 1998

See reactions and reviews for Festival of Lights.

See reactions and reviews for Deck the Halls.

[Answered Prayers]: George Cowley watches Christmas 1978 to 1980 go by - and becomes witness to Bodie finally opening up to someone.

[Welcome to the Jungle]: Why this must be read:

In the principle, I wanted to rec authors as various as possible and preferably some who have not be already mentioned but I realised that the genuine action stories are not so many in the, yet, huge treasure of "The Professionals" fictions. Or maybe I couldn't find them in the two main archives. So, there is another story from Jennifer Lyon, who was my first choice for this month but you won't be disappointed for this story, which won a, well deserved, award is one of the most original and elegantly written work on my list of favourites for this category.

The story is a sequel to the episode "The Rack," though it is meant to take place a couple years after the events of that episode. And its originality is its point of view: this first person narrative is told by the implacable prosecutor who confronts Georges Cowley in the above mentioned episode and strives with such passion to destroy CI5 and its controller.

Here, Mrs Mathers, who has been obliged, quite against her will, to accept the protection of CI5, has lost nothing of her hostility, stubbornness or prejudices. At least at the beginning. But, as the situation developed, more and more dramatically, and while she is held in tight custody in a safe house, watched day and night for her own good by the very men she had so much despised and opposed two years ago, sharing somehow their intimacy, her previous vision slowly changes, broadens, gets eventually almost turned upside down, thus threatening her psychological balance and her very position in a, suddenly, unfamiliar and frightening world.

And through her eyes, we see what is maybe the most shocking for her: the inner, living reality of a true partnership.