The Essence of Handmaidenology

Meta
Title:	The Essence of Handmaidenology
Creator:	Lieutenant Piett
Date(s):	circa 2000
Medium:	online text
Fandom:	Star Wars
Topic:
External Links:	The Essence of Handmaidenology (archive link)
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

The Essence of Handmaidenology is a Star Wars meta essay by Lieutenant Piett.

It was originally posted to TheForce.net's "The Phantom Menace" discussion forum, then archived at the Royal Handmaiden Society.

The Essay

What is the driving force behind this matter, this pursuit, nay, this obsession, if you will -- of Handmaidenology, as it has come to be called?

Indeed, why is this site here? What unique view on the SW Universe, in this "spoiler!"-riven, DSL-driven Age-of-Information-Saturation, can the Royal Handmaiden Society offer you, o intent or incidental Netizen?

Unique! Well, I suppose all our views are unique; but we are observing the same thing. What is that thing? What is that single criterion that converged around five+ minor characters (easy there; just go with me on this) and, by necessary association, five+ obscurish (more or less) actresses/models/daughters-of-friends-of-GL, that called the RHS into existence??!?

It is the recognition and appreciation of Integrity. Yea; Integrity.

Imagine: you're like, fourteen to sixteen years old. You live a pretty peaceful, opulent life. Then one day it all gets shot to h*ll and you have to leave the planet and then come back and help save it. Shoot straight and it's not target practice this time. And oh yeah, make sure your Sovereign leader doesn't die.

Do you buckle under? Run home crying to mommy & daddy? Sulk? Pout? NO. You do your duty and you see it through. Stick it out...and don't let 'em see you sweat. Let the hyperactive frog-child throw his mindless tantrums; you're cooler than that. Let the Jedi get perforated by their ancient foe the Sith; your concerns are much more in the Here and Now, where they belong. Let the Queen get all bent out of shape by some itchy precocious lil' sand rat from Tatooine; you've got Battle Droids blocking your path, and you've got to teach them a lesson called Don't *&!# with Naboo.

Such is the life of a Handmaiden; one of succinctness, subtlety, stealth. One of sharp perceptions here in the present moment. On the lookout, ready to respond, when Duty calls.

Such is the life of a Handmaidenologist: one of sharper perception, one that notices the details, the fleeting glimpses, considers the few crucial words that can make all the difference. Oh, let other site upon other site sing praises to the camera-beguiling beauty of Ms. Portman, the misty-Highlands rugged good looks of laird McGregor, the seductive Evil of the dark high technology dreamed up by George Lucas (And well they ought! Enthusiasm is meant to be acted upon.)

But the site of a Handmaidenologist shall be aimed a bit more level; steadier, sharper, more given to the crucial middle- and background than the overtly spotlit and focus-centered. Just like the sights of a blaster-wielding Handmaiden herself. Let a Handmaidenologist celebrate a life less spectacular; quieter, nobler; elegant, and refined.

A life of Integrity.