Shadows (Star Trek: TOS story by Alice Hooker)

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Shadows
Author(s):	Alice Hooker
Date(s):	1995
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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Shadows is a Kirk/Spock story by Alice Hooker.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #16.

Summary

"A gothic romance, A/U: Lord Spock is immediately taken with the young human slave who prevents him from committing suicide."

Reactions and Reviews

This long story, billed by the editor as a "gothic romance" begins with a compelling scene that could have been taken straight Irom the pages of a gothic novel: a tall, dark figure standing at a cliff's edge (with his cloak billowing, of course), watching the waves crash on the rocks and preparing to jump to his death. We soon learn that this is Spock, heir to the throne of all Vulcan and future co-leader of the Romulan/Vulcan-ruled Empire. And Kirk, a young pleasure slave (what else?}, sees what's happening and prevents the suicide. What follows, on 35 text-dense pages, is the story of the love that quickly develops between the two, and of how they arrange to become bonded, even though all humans are slaves and a union between the two will jeopardize Spock's position. It's an intriguing premise, certainly, especially for those who love slave stories. Spock's appeal (though he hardly needs more) is enhanced by the fact that he's a tortured, haunted soul with a terrible secret. Remember, it's a gothic romance. Spock is Mr. Rochester, Vulcan-style. All these are great ideas. Unfortunately, the terrible secret turns out merely to be the information that he's half human, which we already knew. And the 'ghost' of T'Pring, which we are told many times will prevent Spock from experiencing any love or happiness, is actually no ghost at all but just a little misplaced guilt on Spock s part. The author placed so many provocative hints about T'Pring's preventing Spock's happiness that I was sure I would discover she was still alive, or at least that she'd given Spock her katra when she died and was literally tormenting him. Or maybe even actually haunting him from the grave. Any of these would have been fine. But the mystery fizzles, and the T'Pring subplot—which by the end of the story begins to sound like a main plotline—ends up in the hands of a malevolent (not to mention crazy) servant that any planetary ruler worth his plomeek would long ago have banished. I don't think I would have finished reading this story if not for the T'Pring "mystery." so after finishing it, I felt as though I'd wasted an hour or more.

Why? Because poor writing makes this story extremely hard to read. The style is unbelievably awkward. confusing, and full of mechanical problems. I found myself wishing that the author would forget she knew how to type an ellipsis (...) and resort to writing clear, whole sentences. The piece contains many, many sentence fragments; run-ons; danglers; and sentences without clear subjects. In other words, we often don't know who's doing the action.

[snipped for length]

I remain so distracted by the writing that I find it hard to comment on other issues, such as the cliched supporting characters; the romantic shortcuts taken in getting Kirk and Spock together; and Kirk's characterization, which was a little too wimpy even for an a/u Kirk. Besides, to me those are secondary issues in a story that is just plain hard to read. You've got to master the sentence before you can write a paragraph; you've got to master the paragraph before you can master the scene, and the scene before you can write a whole story. Then we'll talk about characterization and other fancy stuff. In sum, I could tell from this story that the author has a vivid imagination and some compelling ideas. But without the ability to write clearly, they are all sound and fury, signifying—well, not much. So I urge her to get back to basics; write lots of clear, S-V-0 sentences; and have someone edit before she submits her next piece to a publication. Certain aspects of the writing style, as well as her vocabulary, bespeak her intelligence and talent; I know she could produce much more readable prose with a little extra work. I think it would be very worthwhile. I look forward to her next effort.