Shadow (Star Trek: TOS story by Deanna Gray)
|Fandom:||Star Trek: The Original Series|
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"Kirk is haunted by a bizarre nightmare image."
Reactions and Reviews
This story is set after the events in "The Immunity Syndrome". Kirk is in a bar on shore leave, and has an encounter with some fellow officers that makes him start thinking about Spock and how close he came to losing him. That night on the Enterprise, Kirk has a very graphic dream where he is nude, but caught by a force field that swirls around his body.
Then he sees a naked Spock watching him and becomes very aroused, almost to the point of orgasm. An alien entity composed of energy engulfs Spock and forces him to climax, and Kirk also orgasms as he watches Spock. The alien then tries to absorb Spock, and is slowly killing him. Kirk is unable to free himself and is screaming Spock's name when he is awakened from his nightmare by Spock. Kirk kisses his friend in relief that he is safe— and the dream, and this reaction—causes Kirk to examine his relationship with Spock and his feelings toward him. He eventually speaks with Spock, who has come to his own realization of his feelings for Kirk as well.I always enjoy this sort of story, and Deanna tells it very well. The dream sequence is especially enjoyable and erotic—the descriptions of how Kirk and Spock become aroused and then orgasm are very hot! As is the trademark love scene that ends the story, which manages to be loving, caring, and intensely erotic all at the same time. 
The Immunity Syndrome has always been the epitome of televised proof of K/S for me. Kirk's near non-existent ability to control his fear that Spock is lost, and his useless effort to control his relief when Spock is safe are some of the finest moment in the series. Travel with us then beyond the final aired scene, as Kirk sits alone in a bar, contemplating what it all means, trying to understand his feelings. He's ready to leave, admitting there's no place he'd rather be than with Spock, when he is joined by others. Kirk's feelings are expressed so well by this author and it is wonderful to be there when he comes to this realization. Unfortunately, he is detained by old friend Bob Wesley and another officer. It is the disgruntled newcomer who gets under Kirk's skin as he keeps baiting Kirk about his Vulcan friend. The hackler's timing is not good. This is an excellent example of Kirk defending Spock and his own feelings, done by a lady who knows our captain inside and out.
Finally back aboard ship, Kirk is overcome by the horror of nearly losing to the amoeba that one person who means the most to him. This prompts a tense and dramatic encounter with Spock, followed by a period of introspection and resolution."Shadow" is a finely told tale with all the strength of character and mutual affection that defines K/S! 
Once again this author has produced a wonderfully well-written, imaginative story guaranteed to capture the reader's attention after the very first paragraph and keep her reading until the very end. Here the author uses one of my all-time favoriteplot devices, the what-happened-after-the episode- ended. In this case the episode is "The Immunity Syndrome" and here the author weaves a tale of longing, misunderstanding, and heartache told from Kirk's point of view. From a solitary shore leave on Starbase Six where he contemplates his close friendship with Spock, a friendship in which something seems to be missing, to a chance meeting with fellow officers where a crude remark is made insinuating there was something more to his relationship with Spock than mere captain and first officer, to a unexpected reunion with said first officer upon his return to the ship, to Kirk's first tentative gesture to express his feelings toward Spock, a gesture that surprises Kirk as much as it does the Vulcan, to a startling and vivid nightmare where Kirk, restrained and helpless, is forced to watch as Spock dies in front of his eyes, to waking from that dream to find Spock at his side where another impulsive gesture on Kirk's part lets both of them know in no uncertain terms exactly how Kirk feels about the Vulcan, to Kirk's fears his actions may have destroyed any hope of having his feeling reciprocated, to his relief that at least on the surface their working relationship seemed to still be intact, to his determination to find out if Spock feels the same about him, to a meeting in Spock's quarters where feelings and doubts are discussed, and finally to a merging of flesh and minds as two shadows become one, this is a captivating first time tale written to near perfection as only this author can. Highly recommended.