My Inner Life
|Title:||My Inner Life|
|Genre:||Het, romance, drama|
|Fandom:||The Legend of Zelda|
|External Links:||http://linksqueen.tripod.com/mil.html (Repost)|
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To note, yes I am the original author/creator of MiL. Suffice it to say, and to admit, it is one of the worst pieces of writing I have ever done to date. Even now, seeing its ungodly, terrible work for view on the site where I first listed it of all places is so cringing it's... I don't even know where to begin. Granted I never did authorize a repost at any time just because I know FFN is anal about that sorta thing, but not only is my old fic glaringly painful, but the fact that it's one of the most notoriously horrid things I have wrote which got the renowned status it did, to think it's killing more brains - including my own, is the other aspect that makes it mortifying of its preservation.
However, I won't deny I loathe this story. I still cannot fathom why I ever wrote it and to be frank, I do wish it would just die. Simply put, the fic in it's original context is just too horrific for anyone - including myself, and I shun to think of anyone being inadvertently wrecked by this thing. I have seen so many parodies which have done better justice and I find those more enthralling then the base work.But you live and learn, eh? I have long since grown as a writer despite this utter travesty and can safely say I no longer care for its existence.
My favorite fanfiction oddity. My Inner Life is one of the most infamous of its kind, nearing the same level as the even more legendary My Immortal. Originally when I first read My Inner Life I didn't have strong feelings towards it. I undeniably found it bad and had a few good laughs while reading it, but I was initially somewhat baffled by its reputation online. Since joining the fanfiction scene this story kept creeping into my mind. Rereading it as a fairly new fanfiction author, I now completely understand why it continues to live on. My Inner Life has become something of a comfort to me oddly enough. While I understand and I'm comfortable with the fact that not everyone is going to agree with my interpretations of the characters I choose to write about, at least I didn't write My Inner Life.
I've always wondered about the origins of this story. You have to keep in mind this was written sometime in the late 90s or the early 2000s at the soonest. The internet was much slower back then and sites like Deviantart or fan Wikis either did not exist or they were fairly new. It's rather obvious that the author, Jenna, cared very little about the source material or even knew the lore of Ocarina of Time. My current theory is that she saw piece of fan art of Link that she found attractive and it eventually grew into this story. It's flawed, but given the events of the story I feel that it lines up well. With that being said Jenna is not a very good writer, though there are moments in the story where I feel she could have had some potential.
For an example, she's somewhat decent at describing clothing and locations. I could visualize most of her descriptions. Something I did notice is that the details she was good with had very little bearing to the plot and her worst moments are the ones that are character driven. Believe it or not I did think she was getting better by the time the story has its abrupt ending. I'm not saying the story could have been saved, but it seemed that she better understood the importance of conflict. You would think that a story focused on the romance of its two lead characters would be written with a lot of care but… It isn't. It really isn't. Often when I read complaints about fanfiction online (namely shipping fanfiction) people cite how corny and shallow the romance is. I feel My Inner Life is the perfect example of that – we know very little about Jenna and Link as people. Descriptions of their personality occasionally show up, but she does nothing to show that in the narrative. The Great Deku Tree describes Jenna as being "spiritual" once. To steal a joke from the very funny TV Tropes page for the story, "Besides her worship of Link, no evidence is seen for this otherwise."Despite what I've said about finding the story amusing, I can't help but to feel a little sad while reading it sometimes. This doesn't seem like a story that was written by someone who was happy, to say the least. It's pure, unadulterated fantasy fuel for the author. And judging by her opening notes, she didn't seem like the nicest person at this time. I think in the long run for her it was probably better for her to completely abandon the story and just move on. I also can't help but to feel that this fanfiction (along with a few other infamous examples of its kind) is what made so many people loath original characters in fanfiction. That stigma still persists today, even though there have been stories that have had wonderfully developed original characters. I will say this, there are many bad apples in the mix but I can assure you not every original creation is Jenna Sliverblade. However, in uncaring and apathetic hands any story or character can be on the same level of badness as My Inner Life.
I believe this is one of the first fanfictions that became notorious for its badness and developed an ironic following, mostly out of people curious to see how more delusional the story will become or how Jenna will out do herself as a Mary Sue. I've been fascinated by this fanfiction for a while now and it's interesting finally taking the time to read it.
Here's the problem, I don't think Jen (or Jenna) is really that bad of a writer? She describes buildings, environments and clothing very well. It's just unfortunate that the one thing she's really good at has very little bearing on the plot. When her attention to detail finally has a purpose, such as when Jenna fights Dark Link, the situation becomes bloated and you lose interest way before Jenna develops her environmental powers. It's a shame that she's disappeared from the internet, because I do think she has potential was a writer… She just needs to work on characterization, relationships and plot. You know, all the things that make a story good, which are absent in this surprisingly long fan fiction.
Something that bothered me about this fanfiction as it went on was the sudden use of language and that annoying "Oh my Goddesses" catchphrase. I'm not against language by any means (or catchphrases), but there was a gratuitous amount of it in its final chapters. It was especially jarring compared to the opening where no one cursed and no one said that *annoying* catchphrase. It was like she was trying to make the fic more "adult", ignoring the full blown porn featured in plenty of its chapters.It's a bad fanfiction through and through. I'm not up on my Legend of Zelda lore, but just through pop culture osmosis I knew that there was quite a bit that she was getting wrong about these characters and their world. Despite its mediocrity, I am kind of surprised it has become so infamous. There are plenty of worse fanfiction out there, some even more offensive to the canon of the original content's universe. However I would recommend it if someone wants to laugh at an especially self-indulgent self-insert fanfiction.
- TV Tropes page
- "My Inner Life" reaction/repost/parody fics on FF.net
- "My Inner Life" parodies and reactions on AO3
- #my inner life tag on Tumblr