In My End Is My Beginning
| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | In My End Is My Beginning |
| Author(s): | Lilith Sedai |
| Date(s): | 30 September 2001 |
| Length: | 126k / 20,600 words |
| Genre(s): | slash fanfiction |
| Fandom(s): | Star Wars TPM |
| Relationship(s): | Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan |
| External Links: | In My End Is My Beginning (Master & Apprentice) In My End Is My Beginning (SWAL) In My End Is My Beginning (The Writings of Lilith Sedai) In My End Is My Beginning (QJEB) |
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In My End Is My Beginning is a Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan story by Lilith Sedai.
Summary: Obi-Wan goes back in time and fixes a crucial omission in Qui-Gon's training.
Recs and Reviews
Here is a reality check story with a twist! We start with reality then we step into the uncharted waters of "what if?" What if Obi-Wan had a chance to change things. Could he? Would the consequences be good? All of us in 'denial-land' would like to believe the answer to that is a resounding 'yes!' But don't be fooled. This story probes the reality of our emotions and choices and the consequences. It gives us a chance to actually fear the worst. There be heavy angst here. [...]
From the beginning, the story introduces the mental state of Obi-Wan. We can feel the anger and the grief rolling off him in waves despite his best efforts to remain a serene Jedi Master to young Anakin. The angst is thick and well done. No sap here. Sheer breast-beating, heavy emotion.
The time travel method is believable. It is total serendipity, if you wish. The sex is hot. (It's Lilith Sedai, for goodness sakes! I don't know that she can write sex any other way!) There is a sheer reality to the raw emotions displayed by Obi-Wan that makes him such a very solid, tangible character in this story. The story explores the anatomy of grief as well as the possibilities for disaster resulting from getting what you wish for.
The story ends well but only after many rough patches. It is a wonderful free-fall of emotions. Dive in. [2]
Lilith Sedai is a wonderful writer who has given our fandom some of its best stories. My favorite of hers is In My End Is My Beginning. Due to a lightsaber malfunction after Naboo, Obi-Wan is transported back to the Temple decades earlier. He meets the young Qui-Gon, who is a marvel of a character -- a Knight in his prime sparkling with intelligence and humor:"...A laugh pealed forth behind him. A startled, pleased chuckle rising higher in a flight of pure, unselfconscious mirth unlike anything he had ever heard, and then drifting downward into a slow rumble of delight. He had never heard it utter such a laugh before... but he knew that voice. Knew it in a thousand moods and tones..."
What a priceless introduction, both for us and Obi-Wan!
They begin again, first as acquaintances, although Qui-Gon's nurturing compassion has him treating Obi-Wan like a friend in no time. Their sparring -- both verbal and literal -- is a joy to behold.
They are sent on a mission together, and it's just like the old days, but better, since they are equals in this Order. Making up for lost time, they share deep, heartfelt lovemaking, allowing Qui-Gon to sense that their connection was years in development. Lilith's descriptions of their absolute joy are so very moving.
I'm sure you will be captivated by our heroes here, just as I still am after all these years.[1]
In The Phantom Menace, Qui-Gon trampled over Obi-Wan, ran into danger without him, and got himself killed. Obi-Wan would naturally feel hurt about what had happened. In In My End Is My Beginning, Lilith Sedai dials those natural feelings of hurt up to eleven, and builds a glorious tale of how squashed!kitten!Obi-Wan goes back in time and tries to save his master. If you like angst in your sexually-explicit Jedi slash, here's the good stuff.[3]
qui-gon/obi-wan, angst, au, post-tpm, pre-tpm~ whee! lightsaber freaky accidents + time travel = qui-gon alive! could it really be? what if you got the chance to go back and fix the one mistake that would lead to a person's death, would you take that chance? that's what obi-wan finds himself doing when by fate or chance he is thrown back in time. it's partily stolen moments, it's a little bit of grieving, but things are never simple. actions have repercussions, and if qui-gon never died on naboo then things have changed...[4]
Okay, this is weird: I thought that I had rec'd this one a long time ago, but apparently not. Guess what they say about the mind being the first thing to go is true... So, I urge you to go read In My End Is My Beginning by Lilith Sedai. This is my favorite TPM story for a reason: it's good. There's angst and twisty science and a fairly happy ending...[5]
This story is what converted me to the TPM fandom. Six months after the battle of Naboo, Obi-Wan struggles to fill the hole left behind by his slain master. It's A/U, Slash, deals with temporal paradox and is one of the best stories on the net. 10 out of 10 for pure, perfect romance combined with gut wrenching angst.[6]
Long Stories: In My End Is My Beginning by Lilith Sedai. Now this is an incredible story! I love everything about it--the bittersweet love affair on Obi-Wan's part, the time travel, the angst, the ending, and the knowledge that you may not be able to fix the universe, but you can try to change it. The characters ring true, the story is dramatic-I wasn't able to even switch windows while reading it, it kept me so on the edge of my seat. Enjoy this one![7]
A novel premise beautifully executed! An angst-filled, twisting, and *hawt* epic, this fic is a definite "not to be missed".[8]
In My End is My Beginning by Lilith Sedai. If nothing else, the no of times this story made me cry warrants its inclusion in my recs. Lilith is not the kind of writer that holds back on hurt and angst. And what a master she is in taking your heart, then wring it, punch it, quash it, slice it open and bleed it dry. A thoughtfully involved plot sees the post-TPM Obi going back in time to teach Qui a parry that would save him from the Sith's strike. Along the way, Obi finds love from Qui, which was denied him in his original timeline due to Qui's death and their dyscommunication, only to lose it again when he has to return to where he comes from just so the new course of time could play out naturally. As always, Lilith's grasp of the minute nuances in the play between characters is plain amazing, an attribute that, no doubt, contributes to the earth-shattering impact of the story. I make it a point not to read the story in public places because I invariably lose it a few times during the read where I cry like a baby. A small pity that the ending is a bit abrupt. But in all, an absolutely superb read. [9]
References
- ^ a b Merry Amelie in quiobisupport. Fiction rec: In My End Is My Beginning Q/O NC-17, 16 March 2014. (Accessed 28 April 2015)
- ^ batagur in tpm_flashback. In My End Is My Beginning by Lilith Sedai, 22 September 2004. (Accessed 17 April 2015)
- ^ dorothy1901 in fancake. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace: In My End Is My Beginning by Lilith Sedai, 18 August 2012. (Accessed 07 May 2015)
- ^ a soft spot for star wars: the phantom menace (Accessed 08 May 2015)
- ^ Heather's Ginchy Page o' Recs. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace(Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan unless otherwise noted). (Accessed 22 November 2015)
- ^ The Lair of Lady Black Death. The Management Recommends... (Accessed 24 November 2015)
- ^ Amy Fortuna's Recs Page, Wayback: 16 June 2000. (Accessed 13 December 2015)
- ^ Kass & Kate. The Phantom Menace Lair of Kass and Kate: The Recommendations Page Updated March 25, 2000. (Accessed 29 December 2015)
- ^ Obiphil's Master of the Galaxy, Story Recs, Wayback: 19 February 2001. (Accessed 14 June 2020)