I have lost my pain

Fanfiction
Title:	I have lost my pain
Author(s):	thrace
Date(s):	Published February 14 – November 7, 2016
Length:	93,974 words; 27 chapters
Genre(s):	Canon Divergence, femslash
Fandom(s):	The 100
Relationship(s):	Clarke Griffin/Lexa
External Links:	AO3 link
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

I have lost my pain by thrace is a popular Clexa fanfiction hosted on Archive of Our Own. It is a Canon Divergence AU reimagining the Artificial Intelligence/alternate reality storyline from season 3 of The 100. It was published in 27 chapters from February 14 to November 7, 2016.

The summary from AO3:

Clarke Griffin has a perfect life: perfect job, perfect girlfriend, perfect friends and family.

Maybe.

On AO3, the fic has in excess of 106k hits, 7.4k kudos, 1.2k comments, and 900 bookmarks as of January 2021.

Reactions and Reviews

I love the way you write and the way you have crafted this story. Wow, what a pleasure to read. I was superrrr into the narrative and the world building in the first few chapters, like my god I loved it and I go back to read it often, but now I find myself also falling in love with the "real" clexa and the way they are dealing with the true world they live in/their relationship from the city of light. The way you described the scenes in this chapter (for example the horns and the horses signaling everyone's return) was so crisp that I had an exact visual in my mind, like I was watching it. I love how Clarke got to connect with Lincoln a little before she saw Lexa. I enjoyed them hanging out and could feel Clarke's feelings for Lexa through her interactions with him. Which felt so authentic to me! Like how many times have I been thinking about someone I like when I'm with other people lol. But seriously, it was so cute how excited/nervous they both got when they knew everyone was back:) Your characterizations of Clarke and Lexa are so clear and true to how I understand them from the show. I think that's why it's so easy for me to almost "see" this story. "But Still Good" is another one of my favorite favorite favorite fics from you because I love the world building and I love seeing Clarke and Lexa cope with whatever is going on in their lives but still fall for each other. I trust your vision in any narrative. You really know how to build a story and keep the reader invested. Thank you so much for sharing. I cannot wait to read about their interactions in the next chapter. I'm really excited. <3

This was such a wonderful journey, from start to finish! Thank you so much for creating it and sharing it with us! (The show -wishes- it was half as good as your writing. Seriously.) I'm sorry to say goodbye to this iteration of the characters, but also look forward to whatever you write next! You're fantastic, as per always!

It was so beautiful and so well-written. You kept me on the edge every chapter with your vivid visuals and attention to detail. Everything was just so amazing to read and this pairing with your writing has saved me. Honestly, I can't thank you enough for seeing this through to the very end. Just beautiful.

You ALWAYS deliver!

I LOVED the soft ending. Them being together and just...being them. After all the drama, after all the fights, and knowing that there'll still be more fights ahead. But just having these moments that belong to them alone...it was very touching. And I'm glad you chose to end it there.

Thank you for putting the effort to create AND complete clexa stories. Thank you for helping to keep clexa alive.

I read it all in one go and i couldn't do anything until i finished it hahaha so, to an extent, your story made me be really unproductive for a while :P a little while. It was amazing! I loved every second of it, from the plot to their dialogue, to their characterization. EVERYTHING. Especially two points i think were the most amazing. First, this unique plot. Seeing as everyone agreed how poorly it was handled on the show, thus not showing any interest in fixing it through fanfiction. You picked it up, dusted it, treated it with the seriousness and responsability it should have been treated, and delivered such a masterpiece to us. Bravo! If asked, i'd definitely say this is my official version for ALIE's arc. If Judas so wanted to force an AI plot he at least should have done it right, but lol as we know it, he's just useless like that. Second point is how you handled Clarke and Abby's relationship. I'm honestly tired of the fandom's approach to their relationship, whether they chose to portray it as Clarke being a total brat to Abby and her mother just taking it bc she loves Clarke, or they choosing the "stranged" path, with both not ever patching things up and trying to work their relationship. I understand some authors are barely out of their teens yet, so i chalk it up to a little immaturity on their part. But it's tiring seeing it over and over again, and you chose to represent them so maturely, to really tackle their bond as seriously and balanced as possible. To that i thank you. You did a wonderful job of showing how complex things between them are, but still making room for slow improvement. After all, Clarke loves and needs her mother, just as Abby loves and needs Clarke too. If Clarke wanted to achieve true and lasting peace among the clans and the skaikru then she'd have to, inevitably, find a way to work things up with her mother too. So yeah. Thank you for everything. It was 20/10, already recommended it.

FUCK that was so good!!! I can't believe I already finished it. I tried to make it last as long as possible by reading it over a few days and by taking multiple breaks.

I laughed and I cried and like I said in another comment, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. Clarke and Lexa are such incredible characters and I'm going to fully accept that your story is canon.

It was obvious to me how much love you had for all of your characters. They were solid and I always understood why they did what they did. The attention and care you gave each of them was really special.

I'm always in it for the characters, but the plot was fun too! I was constantly wondering where you would take it. The world building was so interesting to read about. The way you described scenary, movement, and the tone of the moment never felt too heavy-handed or incomplete.

You are a very talented writer and I'm very appreciative of the time and energy you put into this. Thank you for sharing this gift. I can't wait to follow you to your next writing endeavor! :)

This is probably the best written story incorporating the AI plot I've read. Well done.

I will never know why I didn't read this story the first time I saw it pop up in my feed. Perhaps it's because of the summary that threw me off towards the wrong track, I don't know. Anyhow. I just went through your profile to re-read one of your other stories and thought: lets give this one a try.

And boy, was I surprised at how good this was. I stopped watching the show after S3, but Clexa always stuck. But this should have been canon. This has the same grand story arcs as show episodes, though with less meandering, but much more coherent and involved. Sure, you left a few gaps between the episodes (like where exactly did it split from the show's storyline) but that hardly matters for the story.

It started off confusing, deliberately so. The City of Light part could have been a full episode script for the 100. Then afterwards I was still guessing whether Clarke was in the real world now or just in another simulation for a few chapters. That was how much I was thrown for a loop. All in all, I'd put this in the top 10 best Clexa fanfics. Probably in top 3 best "canon" fanfics.