Honestly, what are your friendships like?

Meta
Title:	Honestly, what are your friendships like? (the post does not have an official title, the one used here on Fanlore is a sentence early on in the essay)
Creator:
Date(s):	March 8, 2019
Medium:	online
Fandom:	applicable to many, specifically mentions Captain Marvel
Topic:
External Links:	original post at eccentric-not-weird (the original comment) (now offline) reposted to tears-over-queerbaiting, reposted at black girl superhero rants
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The Original Comment, and the Essay in Repsonse

So I was leaving the movies after seeing Captain Marvel and there was this group of friends behind me and some girl insisted that Carol and Maria were a couple so she said “you don’t mourn like that for a friend” and this dude from their group says “well Captain America mourned like that for Bucky” and the girl almost screams “THAT’S BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T FRIENDS EITHER” -- tears-over-queerbaiting (now offline)

Okay kids, there is nothing wrong with having same sex ships, but y'all have got to stop pretending people don’t absolutely love their close friends and wouldn’t absolutely mourn them for years if they died, especially in some extremely tragic circumstances. Honestly, what are your friendships like? Because I have a best friend who is like a sister to me, and if she died the way Carol was perceived to in the movie, and there was no body recovered and all I had was a small memento from the crash, I’d absolutely still be mourning her six years later. Also, if my best friend who I thought was dead for six years suddenly showed up in my yard, and also didn’t remember me, yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d be crying and really upset and hurt and confused, too. People love their close friends. People love their close friends without having secret romantic feelings for them. I’m actually queer, bisexual, and I’m a woman and so is my best friend, who I live dearly, and I promise you that I have no interest in dating or having sex with her. She’s my SISTER. Platonic love can be real, and deep, and healthy, and good, guys.

So, sure, ship Stucky, and ship Carol and Maria, but don’t say shit like “you don’t mourn like that for a friend.”

You don’t mourn like that for a casual buddy you see at work or school. You absolutely do mourn like that for a close, best friend who you share everything in your life with, who is your platonic better half. Have you never heard of platonic soulmates?

Seriously, I can’t picture my life without my best friend. She is a large part of everything I do, and I speak to her daily and she helps me work out my shit and I help her work out hers. And neither of us is in love with the other. And if I lost her, I’d be devastated, there’d be a huge hole in my life. Losing her would be losing my only lifeline. We absolutely love each other. Love isn’t only romantic or sexual. You love your parents, siblings, niblings and (future?) children, and hopefully that’s not romantic or sexual. So, you understand how you can love someone without wanting to be in a romantic relationship with them.

So, please apply that logic to these characters. Yes, they have close relationships and are fun to ship, but don’t say things that insinuate that closeness can’t be platonic. Platonic friendships and love are beautiful, and quite frankly, we need more of that in media.

Opposite sex friends, too.

Fan Comments

[ brosefvondudehomie]: You can have a close relationship without wanting to FUCK

[kamiyu910]: I worry for these people who don’t seem to understand how friendships work :(

[needsnewbookshelf]: If you must make ships of a couple of close friends, no matter gender, okay, you do you. But why does the ships I don’t personally like keep showing up in all my feeds? Both my Tumblr & Pinterest feeds? How many times do I have to click “Not interested” on Harmione or Wolfstar stuff? And why, why, WHY, does “aLWayS” keep showing up when I never have and never will save that creepy stuff?!

[beingpassionateabout]:

It’s just so bad that people only remember how friendships work when it involves people of the same sex :(

I guess y'all homophobia is showing