Fuck it i dont want girls sexualising mlm

Meta
Title:	Fuck it i dont want girls sexualising mlm
Creator:	radicel
Date(s):	Jul 15th, 2016
Medium:	tumblr post
Fandom:	m/m
Topic:	Identity appropriation, slash
External Links:	Fuck it i dont want girls sexualising mlm
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This is a notorious post by radicel about female slash fans in two parts. It spawned a discussion of who has the right to like slash, including queer women asserting their right but saying that straight, cis women are fetishizing gayness if they like slash. It also addresses issues of stereotypes in the representation of characters top and bottom, and how it would be good to introduce beta-reader in your works for better representation.

By October 2016, the original blog changes URL to radicel-archive, and apparently the new owner (?) of the old radicel URL seems to support the original post. As April 2022 the post had over 187, 165 notes.

The Post

fuck it

i dont want girls sexualising mlm relationships anymore. at all

i dont want them fetishizing our relationships bc they think it’s sexy

i dont care if its a “way for them to express their sexuality”. that aint right and its messed that they can say that they want men in the porn industry to stop fetishizing wlw relationships, only to do the same bc its “fandom”

can yall please reblog this actually ??

bc like. im a boy attracted to boys. and this is making me uncomfortable and i want it to stop

and im not the only one ? a handful of people have agreed with me and im sure there are more

please dont ignore this bc you want to keep writing/drawing/reading m/m porn…. or bc im a boy and you dont care what i have to say….. especially if you disagree with the treatment of wlw in the porn industry its a double standard and this is important to me and i dont want it to be swept under the rug

Responses

2016

[vergess]

This is the post I was talking about, and all my previous concerns still apply.

It sounds very good in the surface, but the “real women being abused is equivalent to fictional men’s stories” thing should be an obvious warning sign.

I am very tired of seeing it in my dash. Extremely tired. I’ve been unfollowing over it, but it keeps circulating back in.

A cliff notes version for people who don’t want to see the previous commentary I wrote about it:

There is a wealth of sexual media, textual, video and image, made by and for men interested in men.

Calling women’s exploration of queerness and study of their own identities the equivalent of rape, human trafficking, violent extortion, etc is super fucked up.

Calling the way young girls develop culture and identity fucked up is not some new avant garde political move: it is the oldest play in the book, by far, and seeing it come out of the mouths of young men is never going to inspire trust.

Knowing that in advance and saying is being ignored “because I am a boy” doesn’t mean your message automatically is so good it must be listened to. It means you know full well that girls and women are going to be targeted by this message in the same way they always are, but that you don’t care.

Additive/creative fandom has always been a women’s space, and criticizing it without considering that is a mess one hundred percent of the time.

Since fandom is the only place where many young people can explore these concepts in safety, fandom is also disproportionately queer and many of the girls you are trying to lock out are not girls at all, or are girls who desperately rely on can spaces to know that being Like Them isn’t a death sentence, isn’t a sin, isn’t proof that they are inhuman and horrible.

And finally, seriously, the equating of real human suffering to you not liking most fic and fanart because it’s got girl cooties is still fucked up.

You are a grown fucking adult man. Your criticism of young girls has to be better if you want me to pretend for ten minutes that you are actually talking about a real problem and not using buzz words to predate girls.

And there are real problems in fandom. But young queer kids using it to find comfort, identity and community ain’t fucking one.

Do better, op.

Do better.

2017

[hurleyforsocialjustice]
Add on: you can still write, draw and read about mlm without fetishizing them. By fetishization, OP means that you only see these relationships as sexy and sinful instead of just seeing it as average everyday relationships. Nearly every girl I’ve met within fandoms with mlm ships has only focused on the men having sex or calling them ‘my nasty gay babies’ and that’s just gross.

[theinkstainsblog]
We’re all writers here so I thought it important that y’all see this and take note. #m/m #gay representation #gay romance #gay characters #we need diverse books

2018

[lgbtqhelpandsupport]
^^^ yes. I’m a boy who likes boys and even has multiple gay ships. But please don’t fetishize mlm relationships as ONLY sexy and sinful.

2021

[tonicaballos]
Can we also talk about wlw relationships being fetishisied by straight men and wlw porn being mainly for the male gaze

[lovelytonicaballos]
But can we talk about how wlw is fetishiezed by straight guys and is controlled by men and mysogyny

[mudcore-writings]

its gross stop it 😐 this goes for fanfic writers too, if someone requests a male reader for a male character, consider making their relationship without the goddamned big stong mean top and little soft crybaby bottom dynamic. and!! if youre female identifying, don’t request for male readers if your intentions are to fetishise. ask for a male reader to bring more to the table than heterosexual women.

#m/m #important !!!!! #im serious #its disgusting and disrespectful #im tired of it #im not a bean #i am a person #so stfu about your nasty gay babies. #this applies to everything