Flight of the Shimmerbird
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| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Flight of the Shimmerbird |
| Author(s): | Tracy Duncan |
| Date(s): | 1980 |
| Length: | |
| Genre: | gen |
| Fandom: | Star Wars |
| External Links: | |
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Flight of the Shimmerbird is a gen Star Wars story by Tracy Duncan in the zine Skywalker #4.
Reactions and Reviews
I hate to start a story and not finish it, but Tracy Duncan's "Flight of the Shimmerbird" defeated me. I managed to actually read about two pages, skimmed a couple more, and gave up completely. The characterizations of our favorite people are unbelievable, the style is phony-heroic in too many places, the "treasure hunt" an ancient cliche, and with the entry of the Shimmerbird and crew we fall into a bad Errol Flynn movie.[1]
"The Flight of the Shimmerbird" does have one major virtue - at least it's consistent. It is completely, unrelievedly wretched from beginning to end, with a unique style that reminds me (Well, I was going to say "forcib1y" but I won't) of a co1lectlon of my fellow classmates' prose I once started in high school.[2]
I think I may have read "The Flight of the Shimmerbird" too fast, for although I liked the plot, the style didn't impress me; I found it a bit choppy. I think there is a definite flaw, though, albeit a small one, in the speech patterns of the native captain (Scoggins); he does not ring true. Archaic or dialectal speech is very hard to do, harder than it looks, and I don't think Tracy Duncan quite has the hang of it... Luke's use of the Force to heal Han was especially well done. That was the real point of the story, wasn't it? That discovery was more important even than the book - after that, Luke didn't need the written proof he was, indeed, a Jedi.[3]
I guess if the weakest contribution were to be cited, my mundane friends and I agreed that it would have to be "The Flight of the Shimmerbird." The non-fen were unimpressed by the weak plot line and general lack of sf/SW trappings, while I was disappointed in the poor characterizations, dialog, and overly simplistic art. The latter has the right idea in that scenes were recognizable, and economy of line is no sin, but the tiny figures and gaping undefined white backgrounds lend the pictures an unbalanced, rough sketch look. As for the writing, Luke, Leia and Han sound like 12 year olds; the betting scene was overdone (Dagobah? Is this before TESB? How did Luke or anyone else know about it when the planet doesn't even register on R2's sensors in TESB? If it is post-TESB, why is Han there? If it is post ROTJ, or after an unspecified rescue of Solo, I somehow doubt the princess and pirate would be at each other's throats still - unless to neck. See the plot holes in just one line?) Leia's calling Luke and Han "you guys" is scarcely acceptable into her usual more formal speech pattern, in addition to being far too middle American slang-ish. Han clowning (which he never does in SW or TESB.) with Leia on the ship is ludicrous, as are the mostly juvenile reactions among the characters, sounding more like a Popeye cartoon or "Sesame Street" than the young-but-nearly mature, young-but-extremely-mature, and mature-but-simplistic true natures of Luke, Leia, and Han in SW and TES8. Han being struck by a blaster bolt that "nearly cut right through him," up and running shortly thereafter, cured by Luke's Jedi power is even more ridiculous.... At least the droids were portrayed well. "Shimmerbird" isn't a bad story, it just seems childish In comparison with all the other more polished contents.[4]
The art in "Flight of the Shimmerbird" is fairly primitive, though. I trust we will continue to see improvement in Dave McGrew's style. The POV seemed inconsistent and the language was sloppy; the phrase "Luke achieved the pillar" makes it sound like some esoteric yoga position or an erotic metaphor, and I don't think that was the author's intention. That was trying too hard for a mythic tone, I think. On the other hand the quest landscape is convincingly evoked, and a good portion of the manuscript is fine basic fantasy - it reminded me of the voyage/landing at Krothering Side in E.R. Eddison's The Vlorm Ouroubourous. Unfortunately, the sudden appearance of the enemy destroyed much of the magical fantasy feeling for me, and surely they would have destroyed the ship itself - not merely its captain - to prevent Luke's party from returning to civilization. For purposes of satisfying the quoted prophecy the Shimmerbird should have been destroyed - or spontaneously self-destructed? - at the end of their journey, not merely sold off. Was the escape sequence written before Mount St. Helen's had her little fit? The footnote (with asterisk) on page 35 confused me because I couldn't find any corresponding asterisk within the body of the poem. On the other hand, it was rather late at night.[5]