|Publisher:||four fans out of Seattle, Washington|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: TOS|
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Fascinating......but filthy! is a very early het 6-page Star Trek: TOS zine. From the zine: "This fanac brought to you by Zee." Also: "This one-shot has been brought to you by the combined gigantic mental efforts of: 1 Mensa Member, 1 possible Mensa Member, 1 graduate student and 2 Slans."
It is one of the very earliest Star Trek fiction zines published. For others, see List of Star Trek TOS Zines Published While the Show Was Still On the Air.
The topics of the zine: the episodes "The Enterprise Incident" and a satire of television censorship, the episode "The Other Side of Paradise" (which this zine's creators despised) and a parodic retelling of the poem "Hiawatha."
This zine was the inspiration for the zine Fauch.
[commentary on the episode "The Enterprise Incident" and upon television censors in general]:
PEYTON PLACE IN SPACE, OR PRISCILLA GOODBODY, WHERE WERE YOU FRIDAY NIGHT? OR STAR TREK AIN'T NOTHING BUT SEX MISSPELLED
It was Friday night in Seattle, and all through the town, not a fan was stirring from his trusty TV set. Tonight was the night, the long-heralded promise of another, more exciting, more voluptuous season on Star Trek (or: Do Vulcans have more fun? Only his makeup man knows for sure). Fervent wishes brewed in eager breasts that the Censorous Ogre of the
KlingonNBC network had expended all of her blue-pencilled wrath on the (ugh) opprobrious Laugh-In, and had glossed this episode of Our Space Show as another harmless trip into space. Yes, tonight was the night. All the attention would be focused on that heretofore unspoiled specimen of Vulcan manhood, the unattainable, un approachable, uncorruptible green and cold-blooded First Officer, Mr. Spock. Would he or wouldn't he?
As the music swelled and the Big E whooshed through space, and the plot unfolded, all the fans' wishes seemed predicted to come true. A sigh of relief escaped the taut countenances of the little fans: it was obvious Mrs. Priscilla Goodbody had flubbed it; she had not watched. Here it was. More Raw Sex on Star Trek, in Full Living Color. ***SIGH*** Nude fingertips touched and meshed in hot erotic sequences; eyebrows, beautifully slanted, raised in emotional signals of stirring intensity; pointed ears quivered. Lines fraught with unbearable pathos flowed forth from vermilion lips: "Now the warrior will change into a Woman." An eyebrow moved lecherously. The Romulan Commander slipped out with a look of unfathomable inscrutiny and returned ftl in a little number right off the rack and off one shoulder. The tension mounted...
The commercial came on. A lotion for softer hands. I was overcome with passion.
That's all we can tell you about the program in a one-shot and still keep the issue mailable... It is not our purpose to add to the damage already done to the morals of Star Trek fans. But if you haven't seen the episode, you can imagine the terrible scenes left undescribed. NBC may shirk its responsibilities to its network viewers, but we are not writing this to make this deplorable situation even worse, by exciting the unsavory imaginations of susceptible fans by veiled suggestions that can't even begin to describe the vile passions that were actually dis played on Star Trek that night. Our purpose is to DO SOMETHING to prevent more of this sort of thing in future episodes.
A code must be drawn up to limit just how explicit scenes of Vulcan love-making can get and still be shown to Star Trek's impressionable audience. The following are a few suggestions, intended only as a guide until a formal committee can be organized to study the matter.
[snipped, descriptions of fingers and eyebrows, a satire of what is allowed and not allowed]
Three cheers for D.C. Fontana. She's invented a new sexual perversion!
After consulting with eminent authorities, psychologists, poll-takers, and hand-lotion companies, our research team discovered that last week's Star Trek was banned in Boston, imported wholesale in Boskone, caused a power failure in downtown Seattle lasting well into the Johnny Carson show, and indeed resulted in several nervous breakdowns among the less stable of the feminine Star Trek fans. The precise reason for the lat ter either has not been determined or has not yet passed the censors for publication. As soon as our researchers receive the information, it will be turned over to the formal committee for further study.
This One Shot in the Head is brought to you because we didn't have a bullet to commit suicide with after tonight's Star Drek episode, and slings and arrows are too painful. Tonight's show wasn't released; it must have escaped. Even Captain Kirk appeared using an assumed name.
Titles [Take your pick, but don't feel obligated]:
UGH TPC-1701 DARK SHADOWS KIRK'S BRAIN? END OF THE ION TRAIL THE LOST OF THE MOHICANS NEVER FEAR, KUROK IS HERE THE VIEWERS ARE RESTLESS TONITE THE CASE OF THE CATATONIC CAPTAIN VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE WIGWAM THERE'LL BE A HOT TIME IN THE TEEPEE TONIGHT HOW ABOUT: "LESS HALF-BAKED RAW SEX ON STAR TREK"?When in the course of a television series it becomes necessary for even hard-core fans to temporarily dissolve the intellectual bonds which have inspired them to unswerving devotion, and to assume among fine critics' minds the separate and equal stations to which the laws of drama and drama's Ghods entitle them, a decent respect for the opinions of fankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
Reactions and Reviews
Fabulous little zine done on litho. Mostly it's a commentary on the Romulan-Spock love scene in 'The Enterprise Incident.' Also, there's a parody of Longfellow's 'Hiawatha.' Out of the list of possible titles for the parody, my choice is 'Voyage to the Bottom of the Wigwam,' or as they say, 'So, that's now he keeps his wig warm." By all means, I recommend this little out-of-print zine as one of the funniest. We were inspired so from reading a borrowed copy that we rushed out at wrote Faunch. 
- from Pentathlon #1