Everything You Need in One Convenient Location
| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Everything You Need in One Convenient Location |
| Author(s): | Julad |
| Date(s): | 2000 |
| Length: | 5350 words |
| Genre(s): | Slash, Episode Tag |
| Fandom(s): | The Sentinel |
| Relationship(s): | Jim/Blair |
| External Links: | Everything You Need in One Convenient Location (AO3) |
Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Everything You Need in One Convenient Location is a Jim/Blair story by Julad.
Author's Summary: An epilogue to The Debt. Jim spends a little time with his new partner
Reactions and Reviews
Unknown Date
Shopping -- especially grocery shopping -- is a quintessential domestic activity, so of course Jim and Blair are pushing that cart down the aisles together right from the start. In this delightful story they tackle the produce section with the same playful clash of personalities that they apply to police work and academic research.[1]
Jim is wondering what kind of freak he's taking into his home in Julad's Everything You Need In One Convenient Location, a wonderful, funny post-Debt story. No sex, no relationship, but it's definitely slash, with Jim wandering around in the supermarket pretending Blair is his boyfriend.[2]
2000
Reading this, I realized: I really do have a shopping kink. This, of course, scares me. But I must now live with the dark, burning shame. Or maybe pale, lukewarm shame. One of those. And it's almost a shame to steal this particular excerpt out, but what the hell.Jim's eyes followed as Sandburg crouched down to study a row of kim chi, his jeans stretching across his lovely round ass. He wobbled, put one knee on the ground, and then the outline of his cheeks through the denim was perfect. He still had his hair tied back, and was squinting at the labels. Jim drank the sight in. Definitely Mexican tomorrow. And after the game, they'd have dirty, dirty sex, perfect guy sex, which Jim hadn't had in months with all the Switchman's chaos, and this sensory stuff distracting him. There'd be loud grunting, fast jerking, and then coming hard without waiting for the other to go first, cause they'd do all that in Round Two, after a nap.
Why you should read this: Fresh produce, rice, pasta, noodles, cereal...et cetera. And then there's these two adorable guys wandering through the aisles, bonding by the raw meat, flirting again and again and again. Reading this, you realize Blair is the Energizer Bunny of flirting, and Jim is the big fucking doberman that's going to pick up that bunny in its jaws one day and...do something really slobbery and obscene to it. In a good way.
What might throw you off stride: Nothing at all, unless you decide to show this to your mother, and she forever after gives you funny looks every time you visit, and then you'll realize that one man ogling another man's nice round ass is not quite the charming and winsome family fare it seemed to be at the time. And, oh yeah, this is rated NC-17. Ignore the rating, though. It doesn't apply.[3]
It's a surprisingly competitive undertaking, having a rec page. Everyone wants to be the first one to recommend a new, good story. Sandy beat me to Julad's Everything you need in one convenient location by one measly day. Wah. This is an extremely charming story about shopping for groceries. (I know, I recommended a story about shopping for curtains not long ago. One might begin to suspect that Sentinel fandom has certain domestic leanings on occasion.) It's also an extremely charming story about Jim Ellison, sexual fantasies, and eggplant. (Those last two are separate items, I swear.) I like it a lot. (And there are certainly Sentinel stories that don't do the domestic thing. Perhaps I should just own up to my kinks.) [4]
If you have any affection for Jim as one-foot-peeking-out-of-the-closet bisexual (and even if you don't), run, do not walk to Julad's new Everything you need in one convenient location. The plot's nothing more than them walking around a grocery story, but the story's got more insight into Jim's head than ten angsty action-fests, plus a charming, if elusive, Blair worth remembering.[5]
2001
"Everything You Need In One Convenient Location" by Julad shows that sometimes you can find out the most important things you need to know about a guy from one trip of buying groceries with him. Find out why Sandburg, the sneaky bastard, thinks tampons are a household essential. It's not what Jim thinks:
>> He nervously ran through the checklist in his head--pisses at urinals, stubble, chest hair, adam's apple, masturbates in shower, ogles women--but Jesus, there was another checklist, too--high cheekbones, long lashes, long hair, eyeliner, sensitive, flirty, expertly manipulative, not to mention pretty as hell. The possibilities were terrifying... Hermaphrodite? Transvestite, transsexual? If so, former man, or former woman? One of those lesbians who shot up testosterone and packed fake bundles for kicks? And Jesus, wasn't Blair a girl's name anyway? << [6]
The obligatory Sentinel section, 'cause I think my fic rec'ing card gets taken away if I don't hit some of these: [...] The past couple months has also seen a number of short, sweet and laugh-out-loud-until-you-choke-on-your-Dr.-Pepper-and-start-quoting-lines-to-your-coworkers TS stories. My personal favorites that made me want to be a real Sentinel fan again: Everything You Need In One Convenient Location by Julad (brilliant and vivid characterization, funny and sexy and set entirely in a grocery store), Like Oil for Latkes by Brighid (a sweet and funny Chanukah story) and People Like You by Merry Lynne (nothing groundbreaking, but the way Merry writes, it feels like it is. I still haven't stopped laughing.)[7]
2004
Why this must be read: Because it's an excellent look at the early stages of Jim and Blair's relationship, just after Jim lets Blair move in. They're both a little prickly and uncertain, and trying to get used to each other's oddities. They learn more about each other...by going grocery shopping.I know, it sounds painfully sugary. But I promise, it isn't.
The characterization here is really lovely, and subtly drawn. I really admire writers who can say a lot with the little details, and this story is filled with such touches. I could babble for quite a while just about the section where Jim skims the magazine rack, but I'll spare you. *g*
The story is sweet but not schmaltzy, funny but not OTT, romantic but not mawkish, and incredibly sensual. (There's this part discussing spices that...well, that's probably just me. Never mind.)
The whole story is just so *Jim* and so *Blair,* and really reminds me why I was so in love with this fandom for so long. And Larry the Barbary ape, my favorite supporting character *ever*, is mentioned - what more could you ask for from fanfiction, really? [8]
2007
Very early in the series (like, before Larry the Ape disappeared), Jim and Blair go shopping. And it is awesome. No, no terrorists. Not even any mid-aisle nookie. Just Jim quietly observing this virtual stranger shacking up at the loft and carrying on an absolutely hilarious internal monologue about the entire experience. Most Sentinel fic is either written around the concept of love at first sight (which, ugh) or is set later in the series, after the boys have become fast friends. Big kudos to Julad for trying something different, and making it work. No, Jim doesn't have a magical, instant-love connection with Blair. What he does have is curiosity amplified by a healthy dose of physical interest, coming up against some of the most mixed signals ever to come off of a neo-hippie, witch-doctor punk. Who buys tampons. (Talk about fucking with Jim's head.) Easily the best pre-slash fic I've ever read.[9]
2014
Shortly after they first meet, Jim and Blair go grocery shopping. Great fun, but insightful too. Highly recommended.[10]
This takes place just after the episode "The Debt", where Blair has moved in with Jim, presumably for only one week. They go grocery shopping at a local store that's a little on the quirky side. As we travel from one section of the store to another, Jim is learning more about Blair, and starting to form opinions and perhaps a few fantasies. Reccer's Notes: Getting inside Jim's head, when it's done well, is so satisfying and often amusing because he did have a very dry sense of humor. Even though it was posted fourteen years ago, this story has remained a fun, fresh read. Enjoy.[11]
References
- ^ cmshaw. Fanfic Recommended by cmshaw, Archived on 9 June 2002
- ^ Dominique Elize. Dominique Elize's Sentinel Episode Related Recs, Archived on 26 July 2003
- ^ eliade. 2000 rec by eliade
- ^ the flambeau factory: recommendations 2000
- ^ Jewels Have Flaws... or... Net (dot) Bitch Does Recs, 2000
- ^ Viridian5 Fiction: The Green Room version 2.0 Fanfic Recommendations (pre-2002), Archived version
- ^ Cori Lannam. Cori Lannam's Mild-Mannered Recommendations Page - 2001 Recs, 05 January 2001. (Accessed 10 April 2016)
- ^ a 2004 rec at Crack Van
- ^ 2007 comments at Epic Recs
- ^ It’s About Friendship, the Jim/Blair fanlisting
- ^ a 2014 recommendation at Fancake