Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing... Rat?

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Title: Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing... Rat?
Author(s): Maya
Date(s): 30 May 2002 - 24 July 2002;
epilogue posted April 2003
Length: ~51,000 words (12 chapters)
Genre: het, humour
Fandom: Harry Potter
External Links: (offline)

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Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing... Rat? is a Harry Potter fanfic by Maya. It is primarily Draco/Hermione and also contains Harry/Ginny and Ron/Cho. The title comes from Ron calling Draco "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret" in Goblet of Fire.

Part of the story was originally published at FanFiction.net under the pseudonym "Sharon Armstrong" (which is, incidentally, not Maya's RL or profic name).[1] It was later posted in its entirety to FictionAlley and Lasair and Maya's Fanfiction and Ramblings, Maya's personal fic site.

Author's summary: Draco Malfoy, magically transformed into an evil rat. Who is it who always seems to get the evil rats as pets, and what is poor, poor Draco's new name? Eventually D/Hr, just now mainly D/coffee...

This story, along with Maya's other fics, was taken offline in November 2008 when Maya went pro.


Maya wrote in October 2002:

"If just one more person demands more of [Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing... Rat?] I'll rip out their hearts with my teeth. *vents* It is complete! I said so in the a/n! If they liked it so much, why didn't they read them? But now I'm writing an epilogue, just to make it clear as I feel it's all my fault now because I am weak, weak I tell you!"[2]

Maya also reuploaded the final chapter of the story on Schnoogle with a new author's note stating:

"This chapter has been resubmitted for the sole purpose of informing people that It Is Over. No more e-mails, no more inquiries, I'm very pleased you enjoyed it but I'd much prefer it if you'd pay me the compliment of acknowledging my ending. There is an epilogue (http://www.nasalley.org/stories/maya.htm) and I wrote it for charity, not because people asked for it. No current plans for a sequel, because really it has become the story that gets on my last nerve. Thank you to everyone who didn't ask for more and liked it, and please, please let everybody now know that it is finished."[3]

The epilogue was posted to the Nas Alley website on April 6, 2003.[4][5][6] It was not posted to FictionAlley with the rest of the story until February 25, 2007, several years after it was written,[7] and does not seem to have ever been included at Lasair and Maya.[8] As such, many fans were initially unaware of the epilogue's existence, and many early recs for the story link separately to the epilogue at Nas Alley.[9]

The epilogue was included with the complete story in the The Complete Works of Maya, a PDF collection of her works that Maya made available for download before removing her work from the internet.

Inspired Fanworks

Recs & Reviews

This story is almost a fandom legend, but there may be a few of you out there who haven't read it yet. :) Very funny, make sure you're not reading it in a place where you would have to explain spontaneous outbursts of laughter![12]
The title pretty much says it all - Draco is turned into a rat who is then adopted by Ron and the rest of the Gryffindor house and general hilarity ensues. This has got to be one of the funniest fics I've ever read, and some of the scenes still make me giggle as I think back on them a day later - specifically his "I'm SUPER DRACO!" scene with Harry's invisibility cloak and the "Wheeee, I'm flying!" part when he falls out of Ron's pocket during a Quidditch match.

But those are only two of the scenes that had me practically rolling on the floor in laughter; there are many many more where they came from (such as McGonagall and Snape both trying to give sex education to their seperate houses). Draco's caffeine addiction is priceless, and his subconscious evil rat abilities and they way he uses them just makes you giggle all the more. And, dude, you can't beat Draco in jeans, which we get lots of toward the end. ;)

Eventually it *does* turn into a Draco/Hermione kinda-sorta-but-not-really romance that manifests itself toward the end, but hey, with the way it's written, the pairing works quite nicely and I found myself rooting for them to get together long before it ended. There is also a bit of Harry/Ginny and Ron/Cho involved, but you can just skip over those parts if you don't wanna read them. They're not the focus of the story, so it's an enjoyable read no matter what pairings you prefer. And there is much slashability. Lots and lots and lots of slashability. Obvious slashability that includes but isn't limited to Draco calling Ron lovemuffin (among other things), even if he was just doing it to get a rise (but, hey, you never know. ;) ). Mostly, it focus on a very uncharacteristic but oh so believable Draco that you can't help but love, and just trust me when I say it's worth reading. :D[13]
It’s a typical sitcom. It’s amusing enough although the whole story works only on one device—comments on the scenes from the point of view of a rat with Draco’s character but without Draco’s abilities. It’s often funny but since the story is long, it’s also sometimes boring [note to authors: don’t write long comedies, you’ll lull your readers to sleep]. On the whole, it’s a pleasant light reading, and old classics besides.[14]
One of the early classics in the Draco/Hermione ship and among the most amusing stories in the fandom. Self-centered, arrogant Draco is turned into a rat after potions class one day as someone tries to capture him. Draco escapes and finds refuge with Ron Weasley of all people. His adventures as the Gryffindor mascot change everyone’s lives, including Draco’s and Hermione’s.

This is stream-of-consciousness storytelling in all its splendor.[15]

One of the best things to read for a bit of light-heartedness. The story isn't pretentious - it's entertainment, pure and simple, and it's sweet and hilarious and everything that a good entertainment piece should be.[16]
Anybody not already familiar with Maya's hysterically funny prose...well, you've been missing out. And if you already are familiar with her work, but somehow missed this one...well, you've still missed out. Draco gets turned into a rat by some nefarious evil-doing and is adopted by Ron, and by extension, the whole of Gryffindor House. Never fear--it's not a bestiality fic: he eventually gets changed back, Hermione eyes him with suspicion, he eyes her considerably more warmly, and they're off.

The dialogue is quick and funny, there are more fantastic one-liners than you can shake a stick at, and I really think this is one story everybody can walk away from chuckling about, Draco/Hermione fan or not.[17]


  1. See Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing... Rat? Plagiarized? and False alarm! (25 January 2006) at the Gumshoe007 Yahoo! Group.
  2. LiveJournal post by Maya, 18 October 2002.
  3. Author's note on a reuploaded version of "Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing... Rat? (12)" at Schnoogle, as archived 15 September 2004.
  4. NasAlley.org. Masterlist. (Archived 12 January 2004 by the Wayback Machine.)
  5. nasalley at LiveJournal. An update, an update, my kingdom for an update! 06 April 2003.
  6. reenka at DreamWidth. ~~don't mind me, just fic-links. 06 April 2003. (Accessed 26 July 2012.)
  7. FictionAlley Park's Schnoogle Review Board. Maya: Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing... Rat? > Chapter 13 - Epilogue. Dated 25 February 2007. Posting date also recorded at Maya's Fanlore page when the stories were still online.
  8. Rec by elanor_x, posted 20 June 2007. (Accessed 20 June 2013.) WebCite.
  9. See recs by naanima (23 July 2003), at Colour and Movement (undated), and at Unfit for Society (last updated 23 February 2004). Links point to <www.nasalley.org/stories/maya.htm> (now defunct).
  10. "To ask out ... coffee?" by periwinkle-blue - WebCite.
  11. "Draco's ... er, Love" by periwinkle-blue - WebCite.
  12. hp_fic_soup. Rec. 10 April 2005. (Accessed 09 July 2013.)
  13. rensong. Rec at Dreamwidth. 07 September 2004. (Accessed 09 July 2013.)
  14. painless_j. HP recs: het. (Accessed 09 July 2013.)
  15. Bambu at Know it Alls. Rec. 11 January 2007. (Accessed 09 July 2013.)
  16. lunalelle at hp_hetrecs. Rec. 08 May 2005. (Accessed 09 July 2013.)
  17. insipid_paragon at crack_broom. Rec. 29 July 2007. (Accessed 09 July 2013.)