Doppleganger (Star Trek: TOS slash story)

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Doppleganger
Author(s):	Alexis Fegan Black
Date(s):	1986
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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Doppleganger is a Kirk/Spock story by Alexis Fegan Black.

It was published in the print zine Naked Times #9.

Summary

"Kirk is visited by a Spock of the future who has come to warn him to keep the present day Spock from going to Gol and to not accept the promotion to the Admiralty or both of them are doomed."

Reactions and Reviews

It's the eve of the first Five Year Mission. Kirk is tired and depressed and finds himself without really knowing what he wants to do next. One evening in a deserted, dark corridor he has a disconcerting meeting with a much older Spock. He learns that this Spock came from the far future to prevent Kirk—and through him also himself—of making decisions which will lead to The Admiralty and Gol. To wasted years and a too short love. To Kirk's death in an attempted time-travel in a Klingon Bird of Prey. To 160 years of desperate search for a way to travel back in time to prevent it.

I loved this story from the first time I read it all those years ago. This feeling of doom hanging over their heads, of an era coming to its end, this indecisiveness about the future, the frozen-up feelings in the face of unwanted change, the depressed thoughts of having the best already behind you and not yet to come.

I understood well what Kirk felt or felt not, could not feel at that moment. Not being able to say the words that will change the future. Not being able to prevent the breaking up of an all important friendship. Because he's so weary and depressed that he can't even decide for himself let alone for his friend, who wants him to make the decision for him also. I see him letting all he had with Spock slip through his fingers and understand. It's what happens to people all the time. Taking the wrong turn. Emotional emptiness and devastating silence. And his rationalizing that Spock doesn't need him because he's Vulcan and Vulcans don't need friendship. Trying to prevent of getting hurt. And then learning of how his life will be when he will follow that path on which he set the first step already. Given the opportunity to change it. Simply in giving in to (the future) Spock, in trusting him, in letting him love him. The mind meld and lovemaking was done beautifully, I was touched no end. How much I ached for this lonely Spock, having this chance to see and love his lost mate for one more time after, my god, 160 years...the mind boggles...the heartbreaks.

I love "I could not allow history to write our story as an tragedy."

For I always felt the same way. That after the Five Year Mission everything went wrong. That there were too much unhappiness and disaster for one human to bear. I hated to see Kirk reduced to a so serious, so down to earth man. Lost were the stars in his eyes, lost his obvious hunger for the future his certainty that this future would be bright and something to look forward to. What made such good drama on the big screen was for the person, the character, Kirk, devastating. very one wants to be Captain Kirk of the Enterprise—but how many would want to trade places with Admiral Kirk?

So I'm always grateful when an author takes it upon herself to change that bleak future. He and Spock deserve better, so much better. So I love this story and I love the feelings it generates in me. I cried because I thought it so beautiful. And with me that's the best judge for a good story.

The final story in the zine, DOPPLEGANGER is another wonderful story, it involves "our" Kirk encountering a future-Spock (a post-Gol), post ST:TWOK Spock), who instructs Kirk in how to logically plan his future. I found the descriptions of the "future Spock" to be tender, touching, and often heartbreaking. The solution to this story is memorable and "soft"; and as I read DOFPLEGANGER, I found tears in my eyes more than once.

The highlights of NAKED TIMES #9 are the two longest stories. DOPPLEGANGER is extremely well written and highly intriguing with the paradoxes and overlapping times and dimensions Ms. Black is so good at creating and keeping straight. Kirk is haunted by the inexplicable' ghost' of his first officer. This Spock is a haggard, worn, bent, aged vision who turns out to be a messenger from the future ... and, for Kirk, the message he brings is highly disturbing as well as implausible. This is a wonderfully relayed tale; erotic, tender, heart-breaking. Worth the price of the zine.