Blinded by White Light

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Title: Blinded by White Light
Author(s): Dasha K
Date(s): 2000-28-11
Genre: het, post-colonization
Fandom: The X-Files
External Links: Blinded by White Light series at Archive of Our Own

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Blinded by White Light is a Mulder/Scully story by Dasha K. It's part of a two part series. It's sequel is Open to White.

Awards and Nominations

The story was awarded 2nd place in the category "Outstanding Novel" at the 2000 Spooky Awards.

Reactions and Reviews

Unknown Date

Cailin: A truly genuine piece that will shock you. Something completely different than anything I have ever read. It will capture you I guarantee it! Its kinda long but definitely worth it. Warning: you might cry~ scrittipolitti: Is there no justice is the world? There mustn't be, because if there were, "Blinded By the White Light" would be red-dotted at this site -- to say nothing of draped with TXF fanfic awards. This ambitious and way-above-average fanfic offering is so beautifully written and expertly plotted that it excels on two levels: both as a profoundly touching 'shipper paean to the transcendence of the M & S bond *and* as an absolutely gripping and brilliantly realized sci-fi adventure. Readers, award-givers, and site-managers, take note: "Blinded" is truly one of the best-crafted pieces of fanfic that this web-head has ever seen, and is really deserving of special recognition. (Kudos, Dasha K.!) Gertie's note: X-Files/80's-New-Wave-Music Lovers are SO cool, IMHO. Even when they bash my redball rating system. ;) ne: One of the best I've read. Wonderful writing and an absolutely absorbing story.[1]

When I first read this weeks story it brought me to tears. There is such a connection between Mulder and Scully. This story makes you see that connection so clearly. Not to mention that the way it all turns out makes you wonder how it all started. This story was incredible. The words weaving themselves into a truly heart wrenching story. A MUST READ for any shipper! [2]
This is one of a handful of fannish novels that I've read several times over. It has everything -- post-colonization science fiction, fidelity to (and believable extrapolation of) canon, character development, outstanding craftsmanship. And when it comes to the Big Themes, all of my personal favorites are represented--memory, choice, loss, longing. A true classic in X-Files fandom.[3]

This IS a conversation... somewhat of a stream of consciousness one, so to help you keep track of who's speaking when, Kristina is in blue, and I, Shari, am in purple. [see original page for the colors, which are denoted by initials here on Fanlore]

[S]: We take so much time between these things that we're always a little afraid we won't remember how when we start a new one, but with Dasha's "Blinded By White Light", it's easy -- we're just going to babble on about how much we love this fic. I was also thinking about the first thing that comes to mind when you think of this story.

[K]: That's almost where I was going. When I was rereading this story, it almost seemed to fit the criteria for a story I was asking MSR that's not too schmoopy that deals with Mulder "poofing" away and re-entering Scully's life where she's remarried and with a kid. I ran into a snag when I tried "non-schmoopy" and "with a kid". Babyfics are usually miraclefics. And this story handled the baby-aspect so...right. Real. Perfect.

[K]: But I digress.

[K]: And then there was the unfortunate "other", who is nowhere *near* the bad guy, but you know will have his heart smooshed to smithereens just because he isn't Mulder. And while the fic didn't feature Mulder waking up on an intricate stone slab in the forest ala Sleeping Beauty (I can't account for my imagination. It just *does* things), BBWL was exactly the thing to handle my craving. <g> The pacing was neither too fast nor too slow...a perfect seduction and merging of two worlds.

[S]: Yeah, I think the first thing that comes to mind when I consider this story is how different the premise is from the typical post-colonization fic... which in a 'roundabout way is what you're talking about, too -- the uniqueness of it. It's not like all the Scully/Other or married with kid fics out there, and it's not like all the other post-col things either. I mean.... most of the others feature Mulder and Scully on the run for their lives or searching for each other... suffering in some way, but in BBWL, they're both happy, more or less. They live in what seems to be a perfect world, not one in ruins, but they're still missing something. That's what I latched onto first -- how different it is from any other post-col I've read (and loved).

[K]: Yup. And BBWL is most definitely a character-drive piece, but there is enough wonderful detail about the "Others" and the artificiality of their "lives", that it added another flavor, your uniqueness, to the entire piece.

[S]: Ooo, speaking of the artificiality of their lives, of this domed world they lived it -- it was cool! <g> I loved all the little gadgets Dasha put in there... the talking cab (nobody driving it, means they can do smutty things! <g>), hotel where you just scan your handprint... what else was there? Ooo, the Netspace thing. I got the biggest kick out of the flash of light when Scully immersed herself in it and how it didn't really do anything, it was just to make people get more into the process. <g>

[K]: LOL! I'd kill for my own Netspace. Where I can ride ponies and have lots of dogs and...

[K]: You know, I was convinced that the white light had something to do with Scully's migraines. Something about the fact that she didn't spend as much time immersed as everyone else did. But Mulder had to come along and make that theory tumble like a house of cards (Go figure, huh?)

[K]: I thought the whole...artifice of the place helped me get into the spirit of Scully's super-fast marriage to John. On a normal day, I'd say "Pshaw!" (just like that, too, Puh-shaw!), but she was desperate for a connection and made one with John. It's not his fault that he became her anchor in the storm...he really loved her! It made me feel sorry for him when he got him little heart *stubbed out* by a small, yet stylish, heel.

[S]: Oh, I know -- I liked John. He was a good guy and he really loved her... he just didn't remember or have the desire to, or perhaps he would have been as anxious to find his past as she was. And I thought their quick marriage was understandable -- after all, Scully had been stripped of what had made her into the cautious woman she was with Mulder. I can see that *this* was the Dana Scully she might have been if she'd never met Mulder -- having a happy, but probably not very exciting marriage... something comfortable. If Dana had never met Mulder at the park, she and John might have gone on together forever. But of course, they had to meet because of the promise Scully made to Mulder on their last night together. Those lines made me all sniffly. ::::sniffle::::

"Mulder," she whispers, pausing to kiss his lips. "We will be together in the next life, I promise."

[K]: See? That's so perfect. :::sniffle::::

[K]: I liked him, I really did. As a character. But as for being right for Scully? I don't know. It could be because I need so desperately for her mate to be Mulder, that anyone else seems a tad smarmy (did you SEE how slutty he was in bed with her? <g>) and slightly off. Maybe it's because I'm equating the BBWL Dana Scully, John's Wife with the Scully I see every week. Mulder's Partner, best friend. Yadda. Yet you have to admit that "Scully" was there, just being squelched by her desire to have a "normal" life. Even for the new and improved Scully, he didn't seem to be the one. But likeable enough and good for her. I'm not sure I'm making sense, but I know what I mean to say!

[S]: He was NOT slutty in bed with her! She was the one who was more... adventurous, and that was after being with Mulder for just one night. <g> He was white bread, which is very good, but Mulder was honey nut wheat.

[K]: I think I view him as a "darker" character because of the whole Julia thing. Or, not Julia, but the baby thing. I guess it's because we, the reader, knew how Scully's barrenness affected Scully and, by association, Dana. However, John didn't have that insight and I don't think she ever told him just how freaking much it hurt. Talk about making me sniffly...[4]


Problem with this author is that she's in love with Scully on more than one level to the point of coming up with a Mary Sue lesbo fantasy world in Jitterbug Perfume complete with a pussy Mulder that is just unbearable. Although Mulder being a pussy would probably be preferrable to the sex-crazed, girl chasing Scully of that epic piece of shit series. It's of course the worst type of fantasy drivel -- she's hot for Scully in an extreme way, and wants her to be bi just as she is. She's really a "romantic" though -- i.e. Scully should be able to have sex with every female she takes a liking to (since it's very important that the bi fantasy be carried out) while Mulder pines away as some sort of celibate freak waiting for Scully. Then when Scully is found out and decides to "take" Mulder, of course he's the one that's always in the wrong in some context (such as Mulder being "tested" by Scully in the followup story in some hip club where May, Dasha's Mary Sue, shows up to flirt with Scully) while Scully gets to be a self-righteous bitch.

As far as White Light, couldn't agree more. Overrated author? Yeah.

All her stories are crafted around sexual fantasies inolving Scully -- either with men or women. That's Dasha's main theme in almost all her fics. The character worship is what makes it disgusting. [5]

Dasha K rips off two good sci-fi writers and still ends up with a muddled mess. No internal consistency, just a lot of melodrama. One of the most rushed endings in fanfic history. It's not the worst fanfic ever written, but it may just be the most over-rated. [6]
I loved it then and I still love it now.[7]


This is one of the best Post-Colonization stories I've ever read, and as the genre is rapidly becoming my favorite kind of X-Files fic, that's saying something. In this version, colonization has left the remnants of humanity without any memories of Before. Most people make new lives for themselves, and continue on relatively unconcerned. But Scully longs to know what happened before the Enemies came, despite her loving husband and daughter. Then she meets a stranger named Mulder...and well, things go on from there! It's a fascinating premise and it's flawlessly executed. If you like Post-Col stories at all, you should definitely give this one a try.[8]

Wow! This was the first XF fanfic I've ever read, back when I didn't know English and there were people who were nice enough to translate the good fics they had found online.[9]


I know I haven't been around in lj land for long but I remember reading " Blinded by white light" long long ago. I just re-read it last weekend and it really got under my skin like it did so long ago.

I was really thrilled when I saw this post stating that there was a sequel so I started reading right away. To be honest, I am a bit disappointed. It is like the "magic" around the first story is missing. I am not sure if I am making sense. I do like the idea of the same person waking up both Mulder and Scully, but I am just missing something here.

Blinded by white light was a good story because it was refreshing, the whole idea of a new world was very sf but I thought it didn't really feel like sf, which is a goodthing because I don't really like sf. ( then why watching xf I hear you all think..XD) [10]
Yeah, I wasn't too horribly impressed with the prequel. It felt like an extra section from the first one, not it's own story. It provides an interesting look further into the mythology of that world, but...I didn't feel it had any further point. *shrug*

That said, BbWL has a distinct honor of being a fandom classic that stays just as good with every re-read. Dasha somehow perfectly translated that special SOMETHING between M&S to the characters, even though they live different lives with different memories. I don't know how she does it but she makes it seem...epic.

Personally, it did make me wonder "how do you know when you've found the right one? How do you know you're not just settling for a good deal because you don't know there's something better out there?" [11]

...such a classic. I still love reading it over and over again...[12]
I feel like an echo, but this has long been one of my favourite XF novels. It somehow captures that indefinable something that binds Mulder and Scully together.[13]

I haven't finished it yet, but so far I find the writing disappointing, especially since Dasha is one of my favorites. Usually she's so crisp and fresh, and this is so soggy and redundant.

I guess because I don't like the writing, I don't buy the premise.

I'm having "Da Vinci Code" flashbacks. Everyone else was enthralled. I sat there scratching my head wondering if I was reading the same book... I finished it, and I'm even more disappointed. This fic is in everyone's top ten, but for me the best thing about it was the title.[14]
I just... didn't like this one very much. The plot is intriguing, but the writing and characterizations didn't live up to the premise. Since I adore the first story that was pointed out to me as a fandom classic, I was kinda disappointed.[15]

Oh man I LOVE this story! I just realized I've read it before (I never remember fic titles) and I immediately bookmarked it so I'd never lose it again. It's in my all-time top five, no question. I was actually just thinking about tracking this story down so I could recommend it, but you beat me to the punch! I agree with everyone here that this story captures something really magical between M&S. It's set in a really intriguing new setting (how many 1990s casefiles can you really read?), there's an effective but not oppressive amount of angst, and it has plenty of great sex scenes and a happy ending. What's not to love? [16]
As much as I loved Blinded (one of my fav fic *ever*) I wanted to spend a few words on Open to White. I really liked this prequel. First it was really awasome to read again something by Dasha. I really love her style and her characterizations. Open to White, to me, was a "mature" story, tender and slow and contemplative... almost dreamy! It was a story that left me with something good inside:-) [17]

Before I post the next story, I wanted to say a few words about this one. I read this initially in maybe 2005, when I was just beginning to watch The X-Files in syndication on TNT. I loved the story then, and I have to say I was just as affected by it the second time through. Now, I am not a shipper, so I am not getting pulled into it by that element. As a scifi enthusiast, I found myself getting drawn into the story by the world-building. There are many little details that I found cool, like the beach that they went to in Mulder's immersion Netspace, and the taxis that drove themselves. I found the idea of a world where everyone had lost their past to be compelling for the same reasons that I liked "Fugue." Who are we when we don't know who we are?

I thought it was strange that most of this world's inhabitants didn't want to know anything about their past lives. I kept thinking why, why do they all feel that way? Is it part of the programming? The de-programming? What is going on here? It made sense to me that nearly everyone must be in therapy. I'd be in therapy too.

Since I don't think I can separate out my feelings about this story from the story of my own life, I won't even try.[18]


This is, above and beyond, my absolute FAVORITE post-colonization fic. Usually I hate pos-col, because it almost always ends sadly, or with character death. But this one has a happy ending, and is just...WOW. Earth has been colonized, but after the battle, the aliens have decided to allow a certain number of humans to still live. During the battle, most of Earth contracted a deadly plague. Those that survived were left with almost no memories of their former lives. Mulder and Scully have both survived with no memory of each other and have both moved on, gotten married, and had children. But what would happen if they met again, and memories from Before started to come back? Great story, a really suspenseful climax that will leave you on the edge of your seat, and a happy ending. Definitely worth reading over and over! [19]


This is a thought provoking story set sometime after an alien invasion. Some humans have survived and are rebuilding the earth, but all the survivors, including Mulder and Scully, have amnesia. This is what happens after Mulder and Scully each marry someone else, each have a child with their respective spouses, and still feel something is missing. What happens when they meet one another again? [20]


  1. ^ Gertie's Shipper Friendly X-Files
  2. ^ Whispers of X
  3. ^ Novel-Length Recs, Archived version
  4. ^ excerpted from the much more lengthy discussion at "Can We Talk" ([1]) -- Blinded by White Light
  5. ^ July 12, 2004 at Fanfic Haters Anonymous
  6. ^ July 12, 2004 at Fic_Hate
  7. ^ July 13, 2004 at Fic_Hate
  8. ^ recced at Crack Van, June 2007
  9. ^ recced at Crack Van, June 2007
  10. ^ comment by princesspammie at xf book club, May 2008
  11. ^ comment by memento1 at xf book club, May 2008
  12. ^ comment by caity love at xf book club, May 2008
  13. ^ comment by nisrin at xf book club, May 2008
  14. ^ comment by counterphobe at xf book club, May 2008
  15. ^ comment by lightlack at xf book club, May 2008
  16. ^ comment by dictatorcari at xf book club, May 2008
  17. ^ comment by roo71 at xf book club, May 2008
  18. ^ comment by wendelah1 at xf book club, May 2008
  19. ^ Jessica's XF Fanfiction Recommendations - Part 2 - Hips before hands., Archived version
  20. ^ het reccers, January 2010