What Every Young Fan Should Noe
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| Title: | What Every Young Fan Should Noe |
| Creator: | Bob Tucker |
| Date(s): | July 7, 1940 |
| Medium: | |
| Fandom: | Science Fiction |
| Topic: | Early science fiction fandom |
| External Links: | Hosted online by fanac.org |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
What Every Young Fan Should Noe was an advisory to a new fan printed in Le Zombie. The author, humorist Bob Tucker, introduced science fiction fandom to a young woman recently "converted" by Forrest J Ackerman.
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Foremost in fandom Beverly, is our fan press. Tread carefully for they are mighty. The fan press is in three classes. On one hand we have the old conservative section, died-in-the-wool republican-like torys whose literary beards are so long they hide birdnests. Beware of this class, Beverly, for like Hearst, they are your "guardians". They tell us what we should read and what we should not, who we should chum with ans who we should not, who are "true fans" and who are not... Yes Beverly, beware, for if you stray from the pathway, you too will they judge! On the other hand we have the opposite, the liberal, radical press; the "beard and bomb boys" who find an imperialist and a capitalist behind every bush in fandom, who refuse to behave like the tory press wish them too, and who spout poetry and art at the slightest opportunity. In between these two extremes we have the third section, the "flapdoodlers", the no-goods, the aimless, worthless fanmags with no where to go and nothing to go with. This section publishes all the successful, popular fan-mags and other worthless projects. Beware of them too.
We have some individuals in fandom too, Beverly. Some individuals you would do well to stay far away from. There is one chap we call Tucker. As the conservative section of the press will quickly tell you, he is most useless. He publishes a childish mag called Le Zombie that uses its space and time printing poppycock, and not good substantial stuff that builds fandom. He prints things that tend to make you laugh, and to laugh causes one to lose his adult dignity. Stay away from Tucker.And we have another chap we call Koenig. He lives in New York and uses his time hunting for errors, or "howlers", in the professional and fan press. If Amazing Stories says "five Martians bit the dust", and the illustrator distinctly shows only four and one-half Martians biting the dust, this chap called Koenig will holler about it.... Never write anything for publication Beverly, this Koenig will hunt you down.
And out in your own home state there is a person called Ackerman, who is the bane of everyone. You see, this Ackerman is a youngster in his early teens (so I have heard) who hasn't learned to spell yet, so he gets by by calling his spelling 'Ackermanese'. This is distinctly non-sciencefictional and therefore taboo in fandom, for you are not supposed to do anything in fandom except science fictionial things, like reading all the tripe the pro mags print, and writing editors how swell you liked their stories
Never never speak your mind in fandom Beverly, for we have big-name fan-authors who do all youre thinking for you. Just read the better-known articles in the fanmags and go your way in wisdom. One of the cardinal sins in fandom is independent thought. You must fall into one of the many molds already laid down.
And so Beverly, now knowing these major pitfalls, we wish you well in fandom, but remember--- there is a demon around every corner!