Uncouth Person
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| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Uncouth Person |
| Author(s): | Mary Ellen Curtin |
| Date(s): | 1998 |
| Length: | |
| Genre(s): | slash |
| Fandom(s): | Star Trek: TOS |
| Relationship(s): | Kirk/Spock |
| External Links: | Uncouth Person & Uncouth Person |
Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Uncouth Person is a Kirk/Spock story by Mary Ellen Curtin.
It is part of Rude Person series of cave stories which originated on the Usenet newsgroup alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated in the spring and summer of 1998, after an especially heavy influx of trolls.
Other stories in the series are archived (under a separate 'Rude Person' header) at the Trekiverse archive.
Summary
Another cave scenario, in the style of Jane Austen.
Logic and Lubricity, or, K/S as told by Jane Austen; with some less seemly parts.
Excerpt
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Vulcan in possession of a standard-issue Shuttlecraft must be in want of a cave.However well-maintained the craft may be, it is certain to break down on a planet notable for the inclemency of its weather. Where mankind has failed, the delights of a more natural accommodation become apparent, to a great degree when the uneven surfaces, incessant dripping, and remarkably sullying mud of a tangible cave are improved by the storyteller's art.
Such was the experience of Captain Kirk and Mister Spock. Their craft proving a distinctly undesirable residence after its inevitable mishap, they fled through the sleet, though protected by neither pattens nor pelisse, to take refuge in the expected grotto.
They had but barely settled themselves in some degree of comfort when Mister Spock noted within himself the manifestations of an untimely Pon Farr.
Here was a perplexity to tax the logic of a Vulcan. No young ladies of suitable family were to be seen in the vicinity; indeed, it was probable that no females of any description, suitable or quite otherwise, could be found though they searched the whole planet over. The difficulties occasioned by this lack were such that within a short space of time Spock found his thoughts and eyes travelling to consider aspects of Captain Kirk he had never before regarded in such a light.
"Jim," he ejaculated with bold informality, "I find myself in need of succor. Do you imagine that you could extend to me a hand warmer than that of ordinary friendship?"
Reactions and Reviews
Good heavens, Uncouth Person! I'd forgotten about him/her. There was a whole series of the 'ponn farr' scenario written by Uncouth Person (possibly assisted by other posters - can't remember) in various styles, sometimes with 'translations'. The one that particularly sticks in my mind is the one in 'Northern English' (from the UK) which described either Kirk or Spock's ass as 'like two boiled eggs in a hankie'. Thank you so much for posting this! *goes into nostalgia-fuelled dream* [1]
That'll be UK Jess' Pon Farr Wi'out a Lass, which is on the K/S archive... I'm from England and even I need the translation! :-) [2]
References
- ^ daisylily, posted June 16, 2009, accessed June 19, 2013
- ^ Amanda Warrington, posted June 16, 2009, accessed June 19, 2013