Two Crazy Lovers

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The Professionals Fanfiction
Title: Two Crazy Lovers
Author(s): Stuartsky
Date(s): late 1980 or early 1981
Fandom: The Professionals
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Two Crazy Lovers is one of the early Pros slash circuit story by Stuartsky.

It is one of many sequels to the story Consequences.

First line: "Bodie woke a little before seven and immediately turned to reassure himself that his partner was still beside him."


In 2000, two fans Cassie Ingaben and Dagger compiled an index of many of the circuit stories. They also wrote brief summaries:

  • Dagger: Doyle vanishes, leaving a confused and lonely Bodie to do a little investigating and some soul searching.

Reactions and Reviews


I don't like stories where Doyle is a whimp. In the series he's very much the strong type. Bodie tends to be protective and worry about his welfare but Doyle can take care of himself. If Bodie ever treated him like property I think he'd find himself on his backside! I don't like the type of story where Bodie is manipulative, either. There was one called "Two Crazy Lovers" where Bodie follows Ray after he's left and one scene has him thinking of his need for Doyle not just for sex but as a "barometer of his own emotions... showing how he would feel if his own was an ordinary, functioning human heart." I agree whole heart with this but then to me it seemed like the story had Bodie going back to that same manipulative man he was before his journey of self discovery. I just feel that Doyle wouldn't stand for it, he is his partner's equal in all things. I'm sure there would be times when he was submissive but then I can picture big, butch Bodie wanting to be taken care of during various stages of their relationship. [1]


Bodie’s attitude toward Doyle at the beginning of this story made me think the story was going to head into bdsm. But when I found out that this is supposed to be a sequel to Tarot’s Consequences I can understand it. “He’d made Ray into the kind of crawling being that could never escape Bodie’s net, however far he should travel, however hard he should try.” But Doyle is actually not going to stand for that. Cowley assigns the lads jobs apart, but when D doesn’t return smug B starts to miss him.

I love the lines in which Bodie realizes just how much he needs D: “…not purely for sexual reasons, but because he needed that calm inner confidence and the bright overlayering of inventiveness and spirit. …It was as if Doyle was the barometer of his own emotions…showing him how he would feel if his was an ordinary, functioning human heart.”

C seems to know where D is but will only give B a couple of very subtle clues. After some effort, B finally tracks D down in Scotland at a remote rest home for spies run by C’s brother, a retired Army colonel. When they finally meet again B apologizes for his prior behavior and D accepts without fanfare, as if he knew all along that this would happen. In fact, he (with C’s help) had orchestrated the whole thing and had been simply waiting for B to come to his senses.

B’s words here are perfect for these tough men:

“Look,” he said, ”I don’t know what I’m feeling or why I’m feeling it. I don’t like analyzing emotions, but I’ll tell you because I owe it to you…and to myself, really. I need to be with you…not only for sex, but because I like your company. …you don’t make demands I can’t fulfill. You’re easy to be with, and you’d be easy to love. I don’t know if I love you or not. It’s not something I’ve had much experience with. But I’ve grown accustomed to your face. I like having you around. I don’t want to spoil that. And I case you didn’t already know…you turn me on.”

The lads proceed to reconcile with a sex scene that is way too emotional, with both men weeping and declaring their love for each other.

B and D decide that C had set them up. Matchmaker Cowley is definitely not a role I can see him in, at least while the lads work for him. [2]
I really liked the plot: Bodie regretting his treatment of Doyle and hunting him down, following the clues Doyle has left (it turns out deliberately). But again too much talking and thinking and thinking about talking and talking about what they're thinking for me. The emotions and concerns seem feminine even though they insist to each other they're not talking about "love." Some complex themes instantly abandoned and potentially quirky characters not fully explored (I'm not saying there needed to be a lot of distracting exploration, just a bit more than ciphers). [3]
I'm glad I read it, liked some parts, but there were a couple of problems. It opened with a very smug Bodie, joyful that he had apparently made Doyle over into some kind of sex slave. Then much to Bodie surprise and chagrin, Doyle had left for vacation without a word. The clues to find Doyle and self discovery was enjoyable, then was wrecked as it was discovered that Cowley arranged it. The big surprise was how much I ended up enjoying Cowley's brother who was hiding the wayward Doyle. [4]


  1. from a fan in Short Circuit #5
  2. comments by Metabolick from The Dreck wRECk - Reviewing Prosdom's Earliest Stories (September 11, 2009)
  3. comments by Blue Amaranthe from The Dreck wRECk - Reviewing Prosdom's Earliest Stories (September 11, 2009)
  4. comments by Krisserci5 from The Dreck wRECk - Reviewing Prosdom's Earliest Stories (September 11, 2009)