Time Enough (Star Trek: TOS story by Theresa Kyle and Emily Levin)

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Time Enough
Author(s):	Theresa Kyle and Emily Levin
Date(s):	2004
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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Time Enough is a Kirk/Spock story by Theresa Kyle and Emily Levin.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #24.

Summary

"Spock regrets not accepting Kirkʼs request to accompany him on shoreleave after Kirk dies while answering a distress call."

Reactions and Reviews

What a great story! I thoroughly enjoyed this imaginative tale that is told so very well.

I’ve never really understood the attraction to death stories in K/S, but I do understand the fascination with deep emotions, and if a quick peek at the end of the story can reassure me that the “death” isn’t permanent (isn’t fiction wonderful?), I can read and enjoy. In Time Enough, we are told from the very first sentence that James Kirk is dead, and we are permitted to observe Spock’s grief in a very realistic manner through the next several pages. I like that a lot; that the authors do not rush through this segment, that his emotions and reaction are fully explored. I also like the integrity with which Spock is portrayed here; he will not, under any circumstances, use the Guardian of Forever to change time. Although I am not totally convinced by the plot contrivance at the very end, which I think Spock should/would have anticipated, I happily went along with the flow. The bittersweet interlude with Kirk on shore leave is just beautifully portrayed and really tugs at my heartstrings. It was especially poignant to me how Spock realized that Kirk had fruitlessly waited for him—the first time around—in a setting that had been specifically designed for Spock’s comfort and pleasure. That seems really sad. I’m so glad Spock changed his mind eventually, though it took a terrible event. I am a little confused about why the seal put over the Guardian was evaporated by phaser fire when it was supposed to prevent use of the Guardian, but what the heck.

This story is told firmly, simply, and really effectively, and I enjoyed every minute reading it. I hope Theresa Kyle continues to write K/S!

"Time Enough" by Theresa Kyle and Emily Levin is about 45 pages long, and the longest story in T'hy'la 24. I have no idea who these writers are, but they are good.

I thoroughly loved "Time Enough" and frankly don't want to give anything specific about the story to ruin your enjoyment of it. Suffice it to say that I shed tears on the zine pages at the beginning of this story. One of the nice things about T'hy'la is that you are not automatically assured of a happy ending so I had no clue how the story was really going to end until it actually ended. This is set during the five year mission and introduces several minor original characters who play important parts in the story. But basically the story concerns Spock, Kirk, and McCoy. This story really involved my emotions and held my attention completely throughout the story. It didn't seem nearly as long as it was. I was really anxious to get to the end to know if it would end up happy or not and how the problem presented in the opening pages would either get solved or not solved to my liking.

So far this is the fourth story of the 12 I have read in this zine. I have enjoyed all of the stories: A Walk in the Dark, Moonlight Through your Hair, Risk and this; but I bet you anything that this story is going to be my favorite of the entire zine when I finish it.

I could not wait for this story to end. I didn’t want it to ever end. Such conflicting desires, such a terribly conflicted testimony to the power of love. As a veteran K/S devotee, there are few plot devices that can literally keep me on the edge of my seat or that can leave me completely and utterly unaware of the final outcome of a story. “Time Enough” did all of that and so much more. There is nothing more potent or more distressing than for either Kirk or Spock to fall in the line of duty and leave the other to mourn and to face alone the seemingly endless years ahead. Only one thing (or so I thought) can make such an event even more agonizing, and that is if their love has been individually acknowledged but undeclared. The regret the survivor feels here is so real it left me in tears and praying for a solution, for a different ending. When that possibility is presented by these inventive and talented authors, it comes not as a gift, but as a curse. I shall not reveal the plotline in too much detail, as K/S lovers must, absolutely must, experience this story for themselves. However, as the one left behind sits, absolutely bereft, beside the body of the one who has made his life worthwhile, whose very soul has entwined with his own, the reader is drawn through an awful, awful sense of loss and regret. Regret for words not spoken. Words which may still be spoken, but which will never be heard. Sadness cannot begin to describe my feelings here.

Now an unbelievable, even miraculous opportunity for a reversal of these events tantalizes the one left behind. I wanted the choice to be easy. I wanted both these men to live—oh, how I wanted them to have a second chance! A chance to say the words they’d never said, to share the touches only imagined in the darkness of their lonely nights. Above all Kirk and Spock are men of honor and integrity and the possibilities set out for them have a cost not to themselves, but to unknown numbers of innocents. Throughout the remaining scenes, as much as I wanted and needed to anticipate the ending, I was given absolutely no clue as to what it would be. These writers deserve much more credit than my poor words can provide for maintaining the horrible suspense, the soaring happiness and plunging grief that affected me so deeply.

Please, please find a way to read for yourself and learn the ending. Don’t do this on the run—give yourself the time to become fully absorbed in this one of a kind drama. You will never be sorry. And you will never forget.

I know I’ve recced this story before, but every now and then I like to loc a good piece of work in case there are new readers to the letterzine who haven’t come across it yet. I don’t think these authors are represented on the K/S Archive so the only place you can get to read this story is in T’hy’la, and if you haven’t gotten this issue, you need to remedy that situation.

The story starts with a shocking scene: James Kirk has died and Spock is spending his free time, as it appears he has been doing on a regular basis, standing outside the captain’s stasis chamber in Sickbay. During a landing party gone wrong, a Klingon captain moonlighting on the side plans to capture the captain for sale. Knowing the Klingon intends to kill the other members of the party, including Spock, despite assurances he will let them go, Kirk tries a desperate move that gets the captain killed. Spock avenges his friend, but Kirk dies in his arms. McCoy has made it his business to try to alleviate the sense of guilt he knows Spock feels though the Vulcan staunchly denies experiencing any such emotion. Spock misses his friend deeply. He especially regrets turning down Kirk’s offer that they spend a recent shore leave together. Then he gets the miraculous opportunity to go back and spend those last few days with his captain and dearest friend. Nothing will change, he thinks; nothing can change. Spock, being the moral person he is, will not utter one word of warning, the timeline will remain intact, the future will not be altered, and James Kirk will still be dead. The only hopes Spock has are that he will see his friend alive once more and share a last few days with him, and that the memory of the disappointment Kirk showed upon returning to the ship when Spock didn’t join him, would be gone.

I think that’s about all I can tell you about the story without spoiling it for you, except the pacing is excellent, the suspense never flags, and the prose is lucid and evocative. Do go dig out this zine from your stack if you have it, or order it if you don’t, and read it for yourself. Every once in a while someone discovers a whole new slant on this most fascinating relationship (sorry), and Kyle and Levin do it more often than most.

Now this is a story not for the faint of heart. And yeah, dere'z spoilerz here. I don't do generic reviews if I can avoid it. Deal.

So: as the story opens we see thru Spock's eyes -- he is in Sickbay's stasis room, looking at Kirk's body. He is wondering if he himself is somehow dead inside, for oddly he can feel nothing but numbness now. We go thru his recall of what happened, and it's very realistic -- just a chance encounter on an away mission with a pair of Klingons. Step by step, believable all the way, things go wrong and suddenly Kirk has a choice to make -- watch Spock shot, or do something to prevent it. He saves Spock, but gets hit by a disruptor shot. They have only a few brief moments together before Spock realizes Kirk's injuries are far more serious than they thought. All too soon he dies, in Spock's arms. His last words to Spock are to please forgive himself for Jim getting killed, that it's not Spock's fault. Spock of course disagrees, but says nowt of it. And now Spock is in true hell. Because he had never told Jim his feelings, but had loved him for years. A familiar plotline, some will say. Aye, 'tis. But as nicely done here as ever I've seen it. His regret is so horribly sharp because they just returned from a week's shoreleave at Wrigley's, during which Spock turned down Jim's invite to share a cabin for a week, claiming not to need shore leave. And when Jim beamed back on board, he did not seem as happy and rested as was usual for him; his eyes held hurt and disappointment, though veiled. And Spock realizes, if he only had gone along, he could at least have told Jim how he felt. Even if nothing had ever come of it, at least his friend would have died knowing himself well loved. Spock's grief is bitter and strong; his scorn for his own cowardice, his bitter regret for chances not taken, is very believable to me. The necessary inquiry by StarFleet into the captain's death is very difficult, as he must watch the recorded images of Jim's death over and over during prep for the hearings. He declares to McCoy his intentions to leave the Fleet as soon as they get to Starbase Eleven and the hearings are over. He isn't eating or sleeping, he spends every night in Sickbay sitting vigil by Kirk's stasis tube. Bones knows something's up -- they talk about guilt and forgiveness; Bones worms out of him that he knows he didn't get Kirk killed, that his guilt is rather, for never having told Jim he loved him. Bones tells him Jim knew, but this isn't enough for Spock. Both talk of leaving the Fleet after this; there's nothing to hold them there without him. That would have been the end of it, but chance intervenes. Scrambled emergency call, Fleetcom: A security officer on the planet of the Guardian of Forever has taken leave of his senses and must be brought back to Earth under strictest secrecy for trial, etc. Divert course and go grab him. Bones has a great line here: "Oh, wonderful. A nice, cheery visit to the Time Planet. Just what we need right now." And as the ship, for now captained by Spock, enters orbit, an idea comes to him which he cannot force from his mind. He is here -- he could change things. Horrified by the turn of his thoughts, he focuses on his duty again and beams down to do his job. Things go rather pear-shaped and soon he is alone in the sealed inner chamber that now conceals the Guardian from outside eyes, his only company the madman he was sent to fetch. After a brief struggle in which another officer is killed, Spock subdues the madman and neckpinches him. And then he realizes... No, he cannot prevent Kirk's death. He cannot change history, he knows that. But he can sneak thru to the past just far enough to go on Jim's shore leave with him, instead of staying aboard ship. And while there, he will force himself to confess the truth to Jim. That way, when Jim's inevitable death comes again, at least his captain will know he was loved. Spock's thinking here is not completely logical and clear -- but it's very well done and totally believable for the circumstances he's in. So he does it. He goes thru, comes out on Wrigley's, and goes to meet Jim at his rented cabin. They spend the week together, gradually drawing closer, exchanging deeper confidences. Spock finally manages to confess his love, only to hear that Jim has felt this all along, this is why he rented this cabin for a week, so he and Spock could become lovers here, in private, for their own pleasure alone. It breaks Spock's heart even as it fills him with joy; they kiss, they share pleasure together, they fall asleep in one another's arms. They even discuss bonding, but Spock tells Jim he wants to wait -- he knows, a fresh bond would probably kill him along with Jim, leaving the Enterprise without a captain, not acceptable however much he desires it. The very last night, Jim talks Spock into bonding anyway; Spock realizes they are so close now, he cannot refuse, and he really doesn't care what happens to him after Jim's death anyway. Next day Spock makes an excuse about returning early, for he must return to the Guardian while Jim beams back aboard. So he does. The Guardian tells him, What should be, now is. Many such journeys...etc." It takes Spock a couple of minutes to realize that he's not dying, nor does he feel a broken bond... and now yer all gonna want to kill me. But hell, gotta leave something unread for ye, no? Suffice it to say the ending works beautifully, logical as hell, and profoundly satisfying. Great story. Lotsa angst, but emotionally intelligent angst, realistic plot handling, and gorgeous K/S sexytimes ;-)> Read dis, ye'll like it.

That's an order, recruit. Now move out!