The Eagle and the Hawk
You may be looking for The Eagle and the Raven, a Northern Exposure zine.
|Title:||The Eagle and the Hawk|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: The Original Series|
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It was published in the print zine Within the Mirror #3.
"Kirk is recruited for a mission in the mirror universe by the mirror Spock after the mirror Kirk is killed."
Reactions and Reviews
This was my absolute favorite story in the zine. I read parts of it over and over. Spock's lapse, when he almost raped our Kirk was perfectly handled. First the lust, then the attack, then shock at what he had almost done - great scene! The entire last 7 or 8 pages are just beautifully written. Spock's image of Kirk as a bright, golden beauty is priceless. Even though the mirror Spock refused to feel sadness at Kirk's leaving I felt it for him. But Kirk had to leave to return to his own Spock, still not sure if they had a future together - a question resolved by the look of undisguised love on our Spock's face when Kirk arrives back on the Enterprise. Ms. Sepulveda has managed to create a masterful story, full of vivid images that I won't soon forget. 
My response to this story was ambivalent. I could understand Kirk's motivations in terms of what I know of the character, but I couldn't identify with him. I have been the victim of an attempted date rape, and my response was "sayonara". Any friendship or affection that I felt for the man was instantly gone, and never returned. The story effectively showed why this wasn't Kirk's response. Kirk raises the possibility that he might never had an opportunity for K/S with his own Spock and I acknowledge that this couid be true. I accept that Kirk was attracted to the challenge that Mirror Spock and his revolution represented. He's a man wno can never turn away from a challenge. So it was psychologically rignt for Kirk, but disturbing to me as a reader because I couid never imagine myself acting as Kirk did. Tnis is a very subjective reaction. It does not reflect on the qualify of the story. 
EXCELLENT story! The "real" Kirk is recruited by the "mirror" Spock to come into his universe and aid in the rebellion against the Empire (the "mirror" Kirk has died). While in the "mirror" universe, the two engage in a relationship, which... But I don't want to spoil the ending! The author really draws the reader into the emotional dilemmas of the characters in a realistic way. A gentle, loving, bittersweet story. 
This story is a real tear-jerker. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've been reduced to tears by a Mirror story. I adored it—I love very much when a writer and her story can make me cry. And in a way, drama is squared when involving a Mirror character. so the pathos here broke my heart even more.
I didn't know this wonderful title was from a John Denver song. There is a beautiful use of this line, this image, in the story, pertaining to a Vulcan myth; so I felt that quoting the JD song at the beginning and the end was not only redundant, but lessened the impact of such a fine image (the Vulcan myth) which, after all, has a more direct and meaningful connection to Kirk and Spock than does the JD song.
The art for the story is fabulous; and is also an enhancement of the title: A superb ink drawing of Kirk and Mirror Spock, an eagle and a hawk. Plus a heart-stirring drawing of head-and-shoulders Mirror Spock and Kirk in bed, with Spock above Kirk, looking down at him.
POVs were switched frequently and arbitrarily, and there were a few distinctly overly long paragraphs, but these things did not distract me from the story.
A good atmosphere was drawn right at the beginning, with our Kirk prowling the late-night ship and then a scene of "someone" with a personal transporter thing.
Enter Mirror-Spock, Oh boy. I don't like to even say it, but Mirror-Kirk is dead.... M-Spock needs Kirk's help just for a while to keep Ihe rebellion going, I liked the larger picture of the Empire being painted for us: the Romulans and Orions are ripe for getting in on the rebellion also, and only Kirk can draw them over.
There were a few aspects of Kirk's actions in the beginning that I didn't feel convinced about at first—his agreeing to go to the other universe and help M-Spock without his being able to tell his own Spock or anyone, for one instance—but I think the author did as well as one possibly could to convince us Kirk would do these things. These were elements without which this story wouldn't exist, so I was glad to suspend disbelief.
This is a wonderful dramatic touch: what our Spock sees makes him think Kirk has been kidnaped, not that he went willingly.
It's interesting how the author got out of explaining what Spock and crew were doing for the eight days Kirk was gone. I half-wondered about it the whole time, knowing Spock wouldn't just be waiting. Being realistic in that sense, making events and characters' actions plausible, sometimes is a real hang-up. I know I often feel I'm "wasting" writing energy trying to make sure that events and character's actions are realistic or believable. This is taking longer to say than it's worth, but I'm curious if Ciana did have it in her mind, whether she intended to tell us or not, what Spock was doing alt that time.
Anyway, the whole time in the Mirror universe is very rich narrative, and lots and lots of beautiful Spock-feelings about this Kirk. M-Spock had no emotional relationship with his Kirk at all, by the way.
What follows (besides the satisfying and concisely written story of the successful rebellion, complete with traitor on board the ship) is such a gorgeous love story, of M-Spock falling in love with Kirk—his innocence, trust, friendship, his body. Beautiful and also head-throbbing arousing....
There is a passage of Kirk's dawning feelings that I think could have been put a little earlier so that, at the time we started learning of Kirk's feelings for M-Spock. we would have already known how he felt about his Spock. Kirk is here recognizing, through his attraction to M-Spock, his love for his own Spock.
First, though, we got some wonderful alpha-male type conflict, some misunderstanding over M-Spock's appalling loss of control (oh. appall me, please). The lustful barbarian falling into his old ways.
Exquisite scenes of their discovering each other sexually. Breathless. But I knew even then that Kirk must leave, and my heart was hurting for M-Spock. And when he finally did leave...l can hardly think about it even now. Unbearably sad for M-Spock, alone without Kirk.Back in our universe, our Spock is waiting, and we are left knowing Kirk will tell him of his love, right now... Sigh. 
This is a story about our Kirk and the mirror Spock. It's five months after the events of Mirror, Mirror. Kirk often finds himself wondering what happened after they left, what became of that other Spock and the Halkans. He finishes his nightly prowl and goes to his quarters, only to find Spock waiting there. He's about to say something happy, because Spock never took him up on his invite to enter anytime before, when he realizes this isn't his Spock. Mirror Spock tells him that the rebellion is real and he is one of its biggest leaders. He tells how his Kirk agreed to join it, and how it was going quite well, when his Kirk was assassinated along with his operatives, in a shuttle explosion masterminded by Sulu and Chekov. He himself executed them—but he needs Kirk's help. They are about to sign up the Orions and the Romulans for the rebellion, but only Kirk can do it, and his Kirk is dead. Will Jim come back with him and help? Jim agrees but Spock says they must leave now there is no time left. Jim is not sure, and just as our Spock enters his quarters he sees the mirror Spock neck- pinch Kirk and both of them vanish.
When Jim wakes up he is pissed. Spock tells him he is sorry, it was wrong to coerce him, he will return Jim and find some other way. But Jim says no, I'll do it. He is impressed that he made such a mark on this man, in that one brief encounter. And he does love Spock—even this strange barbarian Spock. The meeting with the Orions goes well. But the next evening, Spock is talking to Kirk who is shirtless and drying himself with a towel, and loses control, crushing Jim to him and kissing him, pulling him onto the bed. He has loved him ever since they met, and he knows no other way to express it, he has never known equality or tenderness at all. Jim is furious, calls him a barbarian, yells at him to get out right now. Spock is amazed the next day to see Jim on the bridge, and ready to meet the Romulans. Jim is cold and still angry, but he does what he'd agreed. That meeting also goes well. Afterwards Jim orders Spock to his quarters, "we have to talk. Now." Spock apologizes again, promises to stay away, to not touch Kirk and to return him on time three days from now. He tells Kirk he did try to save the Halkans. His Kirk even agreed, and HQ seemed to go along. But three weeks later another ship was sent, and there are no more Halkans. He says that he is a creature of his own universe, that although he has loved this Kirk since the day they met, he never loved his own Kirk, that one was too hard, too angry and selfish. He says that he does not deserve any respect, and promises again to do nothing. He leaves, and Kirk is very thoughtful. He has only recently realized what it is he feels for his own Spock, and now he knows he feels it for this one as well. So the next evening when Spock goes off duty he finds Kirk waiting in his quarters, shirtless and barefoot, sitting on the bed. He thinks it is for pity and gets angry. Kirk stops him, tells him no it isn't that. I love him and I find now I love you, too. Sometimes you blur together and sometimes you're completely different, but I'm drawn to you both. And I'll probably never be able to say this to my Spock. So now the Spock of this universe has told me he loves me. I'd have to be a fool not to want to share this with you, for whatever time we have left. Please, Spock. Make love to me. Spock is blown away, he never dared to hope this would happen. But he agrees. It is difficult for him to control; he's only ever known taking what he wants regardless of his partner's wishes. But he restrains himself and they lie together. And it is wonderful for both of them. And afterwards Kirk tells him, I want you to take me, Spock. I'm not afraid of you. I know you won't hurt me. No Spock would ever hurt me. So they make love, and it too is very good, for both of them. Only afterwards does Kirk admit it is his first time ever. Spock is honored to think that it is he who was given this. He tells Kirk it will be his own first too, when they make love tomorrow, for he has only ever taken, not given, with men. They spend that time together and then he sends Kirk home, and he is happy, for although it was brief, it was better than anything he'd ever known or hoped to know; it was everything he had dreamed of for the past five months, and it will be enough. He will go on and he will make the rebellion succeed. All of Vulcan is with him and now the Orions and Romulans as well. It will be enough.And for himself, Jim agrees that yes, he will speak to his Spock, even though he is unsure how his friend will react. But he wants this, very much, especially the idea that they will not have to part. And when he materializes again, his own Spock is looking at him with no shields, and he sees in his eyes that it is the same for both of them. They agree not to worry about reports and so on until tomorrow, and they head off to Kirk's quarters to discuss the last few days. That's where it ends. But mmmm, yum, what a lovely story. There's a very nice picture by Chris Soto that goes with this, of Mirror Spock and Kirk in the mirror uniform, and an eagle and a hawk, above them. Very lovely indeed. Well worth your reading while, ladies and gents, indeed and insooth.