|Author(s):||Greywolf the Wanderer|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: The Original Series|
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It was published in T'hy'la #32.
From the zine: "This story has a WARNING – email for details. Faced with the reality of his own overwhelming desire for Jim, deep in pon farr, Spock seals himself inside his cabin."
"He blinked, and realized he was elbow-deep in the wall, having apparently just torn open the same access-panel he had earlier welded shut. It looked as if he hadn’t even tried to solve the puzzle, just forced the panel open. This– no! I must not! But the thought had no effect on his busily-working hands. As he watched helplessly, his hands carefully reached for and activated the manual override. That easily he was out of his quarters, walking rapidly toward the turbo, his mind filled with images of Jim, the sound of his voice, his scent...")
Reactions and Reviews
Whenever I see this author’s name on a story, I know that 1)I am in for a lot of angst and 2)that angst will center around Spock. This story is no exception. And while the plot is the oft-used Pon Farr, unable to go back to Vulcan, etc., etc., the story itself certainly does not take the usual road typical of such works. Rather, as the author explains, it is based on two K/S song vids, one of which is “Closer”. If you’ve ever seen this vid, you know what it’s all about and this author has done an excellent job of taking what we see on the screen and putting it down on paper. From his belief that he would never undergo the Pon Farr at all to his horrific realization that he was; from the moment he realized he did not burn for his betrothed, but rather his captain; from his desperate attempts to control his desires to just take his captain, with or without Kirk’s assent to his eventual failure to maintain that control; Spock’s guilt and horror at what he sees as the ultimate betrayal to the one being who meant more to him than any other is laid out vividly for the reader in a way that grips at the heart and leaves one aching for Spock as he makes the only decision possible to atone for his actions. It is a decision that by no means leads to a happy ending. But such was the intent of “Closer” and by sticking to that script, the author has created a story that, like the vid, will not be soon forgotten. 
- from The K/S Press #193