Secret Chamber of the Heart

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Secret Chamber of the Heart
Author(s):	T'Marii
Date(s):	2006
Length:	11.331 words
Genre:	slash, m/m
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
External Links:	Secret Chamber of the Heart on AO3
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Secret Chamber of the Heart is a K/S story by T'Marii.

It was published in the print zine Legends #4, and was republished but now online at The K/S Archive on April 17, 2011.

Summary:

A desperate Spock takes unexpected steps to save Kirk from what the Vulcan perceives as disaster only to fall into a reality he never dreamed possible. This takes place just prior to ST: TMP.

Author notes:

This story is the first K/S I have written for publication. It was inspired by Shelley B’s beautiful artwork "In Your Arms," "Kirk on White Bed" and "Surrender to a Kiss".

With enormous thanks to Jenna, Dusky and Dovya for all your help.

Reactions and Reviews

2007

The author notes that this is the first K/S story she's written and overall, I'd have to say she's met with more han a little success. While there were a few flaws, I found the complete story a very enjoyable read, smooth flowing and with good characterizations.

This story takes place at the end of the first five year mission. As the Enterprise arrives back at Earth, both Kirk and Spock find themselves filled with mixed emotions, yet for entirely different reasons. For Spock, those emotions lead to a near disastrous decision, which is thwarted only by Kirk's timely intervention, not once, but twice. It is then that Kirk learns the truth of Spock's feelings toward him and being the man he is, manages to persuade Spock to act upon those feelings. But even that isn't enough to resolve the conflict deep within the Vulcan and as a result, both must face a difficult but necessary parting. As I mentioned, there were a few minor flaws in this story that could easily lend themselves to the fact this is the author's first attempt. After all, I think those among us who have penned more than a few K/S stories would all agree that our first attempt wasn't as strong or as polished as the stories written afterward. Still, those flaws certainly don't detract from the emotional impact this story had on me and I look forward to the author's next attempt with great anticipation

The end of the mission. Spock, stressed to the limit by his gruelling encounters during his past duties and by his admission of his love for Kirk, decides to take drastic measures to ensure that his captain never finds out. The Vulcan plans to destroy himself in his own inimitable scientific way. I was aghast, then relieved.

For someone else was planning too. Kirk is our intelligent, experienced Captain, tuned in to everything about his closest friend. Cleverly, he thwarts his Vulcan's decision. The manner in which he does it proves his knowledge of technology and his love for his best friend. Thank the Fates, I thought, totally caught up in the situation by the elegant writing and the childhood memories that introduced me to the scenario. An exciting parallel to what happens later.

In any event, Jim and Spock go their separate ways, Spock staying on the ship, Kirk going uneasily to a meeting with Komack. I kept saying, "I love it!." when, on his way to the meeting, Kirk gets flashes of the dreams Spock has been experiencing. Kirk knows! my heart hoped.

Kirk, concerned and anxious, has his Vulcan automatically beamed into his SF apartment, even prevents him from leaving with quick, decisive actions. Spock is still unable to come to terms with his feeling for his Human and attempts to do away with himself in a manner mimicking that he'd experienced on Earth at 4 years of age. He tries to leap from Kirk's balcony. He is restrained by Kirk's steel grip on his arm. Spock succumbs to Kirk's entreaties, feels his Human's grip pulling him backward from the ledge and they both fall to the floor of the balcony. Wow! This is intense drama and I loved it!

The ensuing events are enticing, exciting, tender, sweet, everything I could want in a 2 AM meeting with two such appealing men. The mind meld descriptions held me spellbound, as they did Kirk. And Spock nearly passes out during it, so strong was his "autoerotic" response. It's all so special and I was informed too about why Spock went to Gol and why Kirk accepted the Admiralty position. Nothing could be better. I enjoyed this story immensely. A different light thrown on their decisions.

Rewarding and cleverly written.

2013

[PaintedBird]
I have read this story several times and come back to it periodically. I like the psychological perspective on Spock and Kirk, and I think it rings true. Their being together was always against the odds, but maybe they were very wise in understanding that their relationship must have a sound foundation and sound participants in order to be worthwhile. Well done!

2016

[SORAL179]
Each time I read this I admire the construction. Spock confused and having lost the cohesion between his dual identities fits with the canonical description in TMP book.

I like it best because it describes a love big enough to let Spock go to let him find himself and trust that if things are meant to be that they will be drawn together. This sits well with Jim's behaviour in TMP. It also fits with the gradual degradation of Spock's psyche over the last year of the mission and the horror of realising why his control has deteriorated.