Private Dancer (Star Trek: TOS story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Private Dancer
Author(s):	Erin Tooley
Date(s):	1998
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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Private Dancer is a K/S story by Erin Tooley.

It was published in the print zine Scattered Stars #11.

Summary

"At his bachelor party 10 days before his marriage to Carol Marcus, Kirk is entertained by a Vulcan dancer."

Reactions and Reviews

1998

This is an A/U story which doesn’t appeal to me. It is sexy, erotic, and qualifies as a one-handed read. But this Spock is not my Spock in any incarnation in any universe. It simply doesn’t work to think up a plot line and then name one of the characters Spock. McCoy is out of character, too, at the bachelor party. Carol Marcus is just plain stupid. Kirk isn’t too off, though, but he is not completely believable. The story could work if the private dancer was somebody other than Spock—and maybe not even a Vulcan. He could be a dark-haired, olive-skinned alien, perhaps with the innate ability to automatically inspire lust. Possibly Gary might have ordered aphrodisiac drugs at the bachelor party in the alcohol or in the air system. This could explain some things. (I don’t think even horny men start humping other men, some even publicly, just because it’s a bachelor party. This story could be the background for Kirk later on falling in love/lust with Spock when he meets him after this fling with the private dancer. Or Spock could be a sideline character that Kirk knows but doesn’t even consider until after or even during this private dancer affair.

Come on, Erin, fess up. Who are you really? No one is going to convince me that Private Dancer is this author's first story. It's just soooo hot and good too. Now Spock as a prostitute is not one of my favorite scenarios as a rule, but in this story... well, it's just fine with me. He's gorgeous and sexy as hell and independent and the story's just sooo hot. I also liked not knowing what Spock was thinking. I love the Kirk character. His obsession with Spock is wonderfully written. The wedding scene at the end with Carol is right out of a classic 50's movie and I loved that too. Have I mentioned that this story is sooo hot. Well it is and my husband loved it too, although he never readit. He just reaped the benefits. If I had to pick a nit, it would be having Sarek at the wedding. He wasn't needed and just seemed to be there in order to tie everything up with a pink ribbon. But that quibble aside, this is a wonderful read. Good story, good characters, and lots of really hot sex. Loved it.

I noticed, though it wasn't pointed out, that the first night together, Kirk only fucked Spock, Spock didn't fuck Kirk. It's interesting how it's easy for a man to be with a man if all he wants to do is fuck and doesn't really care where he sticks it. The real turning point would be for the man to allow himself to be penetrated. The next time they are together, the author has this Spock being a bit sadistic in sex. But aside from this, it still hurts Kirk, this first time being penetrated, but he wants it anyway, a lot. Basically, I like this unrestrained masculinity that men get to engage in with each other, not having to temper themselves or rein themselves in as they arguably need to do with women. Even so, normally I don't much buy this rough behavior for our Kirk and Spock, but this is A/U, so it's okay.

I’ve usually found that most A/U stories ask you to ingest one impossible thing before breakfast, and if you can get past that you have the opportunity for a delightful meal. In this story the one impossible thing to ingest is that Spock would become a male stripper and prostitute on Earth after Sarek has disowned him for refusing to bond with T’Pring. Okay, I admit it’s a rather large lump to swallow, but please try, because if you don’t you’ll miss a truly fine story.

James Kirk is due to marry Carol Marcus in ten days when his friends throw him a most unusual bachelor party. He’s insisted no women be present, and none are, but what there is more than makes up for it. Spock is the dancer that entertains Kirk, both in public and later, in private.

Kirk’s growing obsession with the Vulcan is done very well. He neither understands why he is drawn, nor can he prevent himself from thinking about Spock or wanting to be with him. Slowly his obsession builds until his jealousy forces him to follow Spock to club where he occasionally performs, and into a nasty scene with a customer who has purchased Spock’s favors for the night. Erin surprised me here. I was prepared for Spock to back down, to go with Kirk, but he doesn’t. Throughout the story, Spock is portrayed as having a very strong will, more than a match for Kirk’s determined personality. I especially appreciated that the author took the time necessary to show how the attraction between the two of them grows into love.

The writing is clear, clean-for the most part - and tight. I’m not familiar with this author’s name, but I’d be willing to bet this isn’t her first story. It’s far too well-written for that. There are one or two things I could have done without, the spanking scene, for one. These never do anything for me. I find them rather childish, and hard to picture. I also thought having Spock’s parents show up at Kirk’s wedding was a little far-fetched. I understand the author’s need to tie up loose ends and provide a happy ending that shows Sarek finally accepts Spock and his choice of career and mate, but it happened a bit too quickly and was a bit too pat to be believable.

On the other hand, a story with a long-haired Spock attired in a black half T-shirt and tight black exercise shorts gets my vote for the most intriguing mental picture of the month!

A kind of jeopardy that I always like in a story is having someone about to get married, and we hope true love will intervene before it's too late. This is a great A/U story involving Kirk about to marry Carol Marcus, thinking this is what he wants, that she's a "good" person, etc. But there's no real love there on his part.

Gary Mitchell is putting on a bachelor party, but Kirk had promised Carol no girls (ha -- no problem!). Good, sharp dialogue here, in the opening scene with Kirk and Mitchell, and the imparting of information through the dialogue was done really well, not forced or false- sounding, as it can tend to be. (However, it wasn't until the second page that we learned McCoy was sitting there with them also.)

Of course the highlight of the story is Spock as an exotic dancer. I won't go into detail, but let everyone enjoy it for themselves. His dancing at the party was finely written, a wonderful scene, very cool, so sexy, in colorful detail. This night and some other scenes of Spock are hot stuff, at his occupation and in his private life.

At the bachelor party, he is Kirk's for the night. And what a night, Kirk's first with a man.

Then follows a tale of an obsessed Kirk, and his trying to understand his obsession. I liked the realistic approach, with him wondering if it's just Spock's being an alien that has him so turned on, or the novelty of being with a man (since this is an A/U story there's none of the friendship already developed). And, he feels none too secure that Spock does this for a living, after all. A good dose of jealousy on Kirk's part -- even though he himself is still going to go through with getting married.

I noticed, though it wasn't pointed out, that the first night together, Kirk only fucked Spock, Spock didn't fuck Kirk. It's interesting how it's easy for a man to be with a man if all he wants to do is fuck and doesn't reallycare where he sticks it. The real turning point would be for the man to allow himself to be penetrated.

The next time they are together, the author has this Spock being a bit sadistic in sex. But aside from this, it still hurts Kirk, this first time being penetrated, but he wants it anyway, a lot. Basically, I like this unrestrained masculinity that men get to engage in with each other, not having to temper themselves or rein themselves in as they arguably need to do with women. Even so, normally I don't much buy this rough behavior for our Kirk and Spock, but this is A/U, so it's okay.

Then they have some long, leisurely time together. This is where we get the long stories of how they each came to be doing what they're doing, about their dreams and aspirations, etc. Among other things, some lovely words from Spock, why he prefers men.

This is minor, but I felt here that we should have learned sooner what Kirk did for a living. A few references were made to his office, so I wondered if he was Starfleet or what. We eventually find out he runs a high-asset type of security business. (I think this is a great choice, about the best of occupations for Kirk if he must be earthbound.)

I think that going back-and-forth to and from physical places and over a period of some number of days, as was done in this scenario, makes a story feel like a ramble, and diffuses the effect of a focused theme. This back-and-forth is the way real life is, but a story gets to have more dramatic impact by having more happen at one time, that might in reality happen over a period of time.

And speaking of dramatic impact, there's a fascinating thing involving Vulcan sensibilities, and Kirk's savage rage one night, out of his jealousy.

The wedding scene was fun and melodramatic and written at just the right pace for the astonishing thing that took place. (Astonishing to everyone else, not to us or to Kirk and Spock.)

I could have done without Sarek and Amanda happening to show up at the reception. This was obviously to tie up Spock's stuff about not having had his father's approval. But the ending was lovely -- how together now they can both have the lives they want-- and some hot sex and lofty words about dancing.

"I promised Carol no girls, Gary."

Sounds good, huh? Sounds like commitment and fidelity? Forget it. This Kirk is a rat. No girls - but he cheerfully and without a second thought falls into bed with a man on the evening of his stag night and continues to do so even in the run-up to his wedding. And he continues to tell Carol, "There weren't any girls - I promised." A perfect example of how effectively you can tell a massive lie by sticking to the exact truth.

The story is well written and well developed. Spock is portrayed throughout as having integrity — he refuses to compromise the standards he has set for himself— but I do not like, cannot respect, this Kirk. Perhaps that was what the writer was trying to accomplish? A Kirk who for most of the story seems to have no moral standards? If so, she certainly succeeded as far as I was concerned.

Kirk is engaged to Carol Marcus when Gary Mitchell gives him a bachelor party complete with male strippers including Spock as the star attraction. It’s a wild scene at this party and Kirk has his socks knocked off (so to speak) by a drop-dead gorgeous Spock. Spock’s intense, dynamite sexy performance is beautifully shown and we sure can understand why Kirk loses his proverbial socks.

Kirk’s attraction for Spock proves to be a major obstacle in his relationship with Carol, especially when Kirk searches Spock’s whereabouts (a beach house— perfect for Spock!) and spends a few days with him engaging in wild, wild, hot, hot sex. Really wild hot sex.

Spock has escaped from a planned bonding with T’Pring and became a dancer. He reveals this to Kirk as they grow closer. I enjoyed the way the author kept Spock a little bit of a mystery — which he was to Kirk — partly by focusing on Kirk’s POV as he watched Spock.

But I agree with Kathy Stanis in her LOC in the September issue about revealing Kirk’s occupation sooner. Also disconcerting were references to someone (male or female) who supposedly was Kirk’s assistant named “Huri” who turned out to be Uhura. And the time frame when things happened and for how long was confusing.

Kirk becomes more and more conflicted about marrying Carol Marcus. This conflict was also well done as his obsession grows and his bride-to-be is not a villain, but not a totally nice woman anyway.

At one point, Kirk becomes jealous and enraged and confronts Spock at the beach house. In an effort to possess and control, Kirk fucks him roughly, however Spock orgasms and then takes him upstairs for more.

I really liked the last part of the story where Spock tells Kirk all about the history of pon farr and the Vulcan bond. Then on the day of the wedding, Kirk stops the ceremony (I love this scenario—stopping a wedding at the last second!) and Spock comes and they declare their love.

Very cool scene when Spock melds with Kirk and then announces “You have all witnessed our bonding.” The wedding turns into Kirk and Spock’s wedding — like out of a soap opera — I loved it.

Maybe just once I’d like to see Carol Marcus end up with...Gary Mitchell? Nope. Only kidding.

1999

Whew, this story gets ****, which is the best in my private story index! Though I can't exactly picture our Mr. Spock dancing, this was one of the best stories I read lately. A very hot and gripping story and the author let me really believe Spock is a dancer while reading the story. Somehow everything fit and was logical. The burning question in this long story was: will Jim Kirk marry Carol?

Gee, this Carol was pale and boring compared to the tantalizing Vulcan!!!

This was even clear to Kirk after the encounter with her so soft body. How could he even touch her after Spock??? If I had been in Kirk's place I had sent her away after the first time with the Vulcan...but if he had done so, we would not have this wonderful story. My favourite scene is during the marriage, when Spock asks "Who do you love? I will not ask again, Human." What I felt then was written a few lines above the just mentioned quote: "The shiver started in his toes, racing along his nerves, causing his whole body to tremble, his breath to catch in his throat." Wow, what a story!!!

The tension in this A/U story between Kirk’s obsessive attraction to Spock, whom he has just met at his own bachelor party, and his determination to go through with his marriage to Carol Marcus creates unusually effective drama, in my opinion. Kirk’s increasingly powerful sexual need for Spock, which is almost like an addiction that he’s determined to “kick” before his wedding day, is a driving force propelling the story forward, bringing Kirk into excruciating conflict with Carol and with Spock himself, a professional dancer and sex worker who refuses to place himself at Kirk’s beck and call. The writing is vivid and immediate; we sweat along with Kirk as Carol voices her suspicions, and we share his despair at Spock’s aloofness. The story’s opening scene illustrates both the strength of the writing and the editorial slips that crept in from time to time. In it, Kirk is talking to Gary Mitchell and McCoy about his upcoming wedding. The dialogue establishes the story’s basic problem, and the elements of the characterization of Kirk and Mitchell that will be important throughout the story. The author effortlessly slips in details like the date of the wedding. Instead of telling us what’s wrong with Kirk’s feelings about his bride-to-be, the author has Kirk tell us why he wants to marry Carol, and then has McCoy analyze what Kirk has just said. It’s an effective technique, because we, along with Kirk, are startled by how right McCoy’s analysis is. However, we don’t realize McCoy is in the room until Gary leaves and says, “See you at the party, doc,” and McCoy’s name isn’t mentioned until the end of the scene. Even though we know it’s McCoy, I found this a little bit jarring compared to the otherwise careful scene-setting in this scene and generally throughout the story. The Spock of this story is unusual: strong, self- assured, sensual and very much at home in his body. Kirk, in contrast, lacks many of those qualities and seems very much at the mercy of his addictive desire for Spock. It’s hard to blame him while one is reading this persuasive story.

2004

A very AU, very sexy Spock is the “private dancer” that entertains Kirk at his bachelor party. He is due to marry Carol Marcus in ten days, but after seeing the Vulcan perform, he quickly becomes obsessed with the exotic alien. And who could blame him? Picture a long-haired Spock complete with a black half T-shirt and tight black exercise shorts. Oh, yum! I know some readers were turned off by this Kirk who tells the truth yet lies through his teeth at the same time, but it works for me.