Prism (Star Trek: TOS story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Prism
Author(s):	Carolyn Spencer
Date(s):	print zine - July 1996
Length:	print zine-83 pages; The Kirk/Spock Fanfiction Archive-35133 words
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:	on AO3
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Prism is a K/S story by Carolyn Spencer.

It is a bit of a fusion with Witness.

It was published in the print zine Scattered Stars #8.

Summary

"Kirk is stranded on Vulcan by an ion storm and, while working as a prostitute there, meets Spock who rescues him when he crashes his aircar during a sand storm."

Reactions and Reviews

1996

I don't really like to do an LOC on a story so fresh off the presses, because I feel I shouldn't say too much if too many others haven't read the story yet. So this LOC won't say half the things I adored about this story, at least not in specific detail.

The first person Kirk POV definitely worked beautifully here. Every scene came across so vividly — dramatic, poignant, heart-wrenching, erotic or whatever it was.

The picture of Kirk as a whore in ShiKahr is so colorful. He's just making money (to get his ship repaired and get out. We learn (not "told" through his memories, but through yet more vividly drawn storyline) that Kirk had been kicked out of the Academy, having to do with the Kobayashi Maru test. Here, and many other places, excellent use is made of all the familiar and loved ST lore.

His broken dreams break my heart. This Kirk is really Kirk to me—what might have been. It takes no effort to know him, [it] is not a stretch at all, as opposed to some A/U scenarios. Having been kicked out of the Academy for what in another reality would easily have been lauded as original thinking, makes this Kirk retain all that is the best of him. Also I loved how Carolyn fit some of our favorite lines into the story ("You came back for me." just for one). And I love all the Vulcan words and terms, particularly the sand-storm, in which Kirk crashes. An absolutely great scene, his delirium, thinking he's in hell or whatever, and a beautiful long-haired devil, or angel, rescues him. Guess who.

These scenes with Spock unfold so quietly; it was really lovely. We begin to learn through Kirk's immediate perceptions the kind of life Spock and his clan lead.

Here is a totally gorgeous picture: Kirk waking up to see Spock braiding his long hair in the mirror. I love how Spock is an innocent, never been in space, etc. But in this story he, like this Kirk, is unquestionably Spock. And the dynamics between them are also so perfectly as we know them: two strong-willed men, yet Spock seems destined to follow Kirk's lead (at least on the surface; we know the deep power Spock has over Kirk's heart).

And in a story like this it's delightful that Kirk has a touch of mischief, and Spock plays along. This couldn't be done so freely in the mainline universe. and it's so precious, I just love it. Some charming scenes in this regard, very subtle plays on Spock's innocence. Yet he's not ignorant or dense—just so incredibly open. His very small smiles melt my heart.

There is the whole thing of the community's disapproval of Kirk; and of Spock the half-human, as far as that goes. There is a deep and intelligent exploration of the isolated Vulcans closed off in their own ways, including a picture of this part Of Vulcan society as a whole, their feelings about outworlders; and the threat that Kirk and Spock's being together brings to the clan, and the resolution of the whole situation at the end. We learn the story of Sarek and Amanda, Sybok, Spock, T'Pring and Stonn, etc. Very rich.

I even liked the children in this story — me, the old witch, who can usually quite well do without children in my K/S. These kids were cool because they're Vulcan, they were useful elements of the story, too, not just local color or a mother's irresistible urge to put them in.

Even without being told that this is so (and even though this is in Kirk's POV only) I could so strongly feel how Spock had been so lonely for such a companion, and here comes Kirk. I could feel how Spock's heart is opened up by Kirk. And gorgeous passages of Kirk's growing feelings for Spock. Carolyn stops at nothing, shamelessly displays her love for these characters, especially Spock. and it works, at least for me.

We think they're going to part ways, and it's so heart-wrenching, in a very quiet way. I cried three times in this story, thank you. And at least two great action scenes. One a street brawl, handled with such flair by Kirk and Spock. And another, a mine collapse—serious jeopardy and relevance to the story right then. The stuff heroic-adventure is made of. Beating unbeatable odds, etc. And at the same time showing us so clearly how already they both would put the others safety before their own. Another place I got teary.

And then... Finally almost getting physically close, exquisite tension, just in words, and in Kirk's thoughts. Closer, closer. I'm dying. The sense of their undeniable physical attraction for each other just beginning to express itself—hot stuff. So erotic, yet not even overtly sexual. Not sexual at all yet, in fact. Really well done. Almost close, almost a kiss; she just had me aching. And finally, a kiss, and more almost-sex. Beautiful scene. So sexy, so subtle, so sad. Kirk having to leave. I would quote the whole scene just about, and the next one too, of Kirk at his lowest, leaving Spock behind, a gorgeous, dramatic scene of Spock finding him. There's no turning back now. And then finally, sex... And more tears; I am as overawed as Kirk is.

Now, I didn't totally get everything in the meld. Or, I got it (Kirk's metaphors—colors, the prism) but it was a meld during sex, and seemed removed from the sexual thing that was going on. If Carolyn had brought it up again nearer this meld, about Spock's having lived without such color before Kirk, then the imagery would have connected for me.

And more heroics, i.e., Kirk at his best getting through some difficult defenses, proving to them all that it is right and wonderful that he and Spock should be together; he is not so mind-blind as they think he is. So it's a "heroic" ending, too—big, lasting changes, where right and love win in the end. Not only heroic, but personal happiness for Kirk and Spock; and not only that, but a sexy ending, too. Yes. yes.

From the very first line, this story swept me away. Spencer uses strong, direct and multi-layered brush strokes to create a clear, vivid and emotionally complex picture. This is truly (dare I say it?) masterful writing.

We meet a wonderfully portrayed Kirk—strong and willful yet no-nonsense; street-wise and hard-boiled yet soft and sensitive underneath. The opening introduction of Kirk possesses a lyrical Raymond Chandler-esque style complete with Kirk's cynical pronunciation of ShiKahr as "shit-kart", and slowly evolves into a beautiful soft tone as Kirk opens himself up to Spock.

Every moment has been so vividly created, every scene so well defined, every nuance of character so expertly portrayed that I hardly know where to begin my praise.

When Kirk has his aircar accident (don't worry—this doesn't give anything away) and Spock appears, Kirk imagines the devil has come: "Strands of devil hair fell softly across my cheek as he lifted me in his arms and we walked out into the black of open space together."

The writing...oh, the writing! "Spock, when he wore his normal somber face, was a delight. Spock, with that shy half-smile, was a treasure. But Spock when he laughed...Spock, when he laughed was...glorious." The Vulcan world that Spock lives in has a marvelous flavor of Amish and is perfectly suited for Spock. The use of that society melded with Vulcan is an inspired idea. Not only could I easily envision him in the quiet, austere, innocent life, but Vulcan life-style and culture came through, never once getting lost in a false note or artificial invention.

The author has captured so many small moments and real touches like when Spock brings Kirk back to the city and in contrast to Spock's beautiful and serene environment, Kirk sees the dirty, loud city for what it is.

More gorgeous writing— "I've seen the crystal falls on Taron, the incredible sight of Lada Prime lit by seven crimson moons. I've even seen the flying dragons on Berengaria VII. They were nothing compared to the sight of Spock by starlight."

I adored the delightful banter and humorous through line about what Vulcans wear under their robes—"buck naked".

Scene after beautiful scene evolves as their love for each other is thwarted by painful reality. When Kirk says: "It was just mutual attraction." And then asks: "It was mutual, wasn't it?" my heart broke. Kirk's pain comes across vibrant and electric.

The story encompasses classic tragedy as they face the realities of the world and family against their love.

The koon-ut-kalifee scene felt as if I were standing right there on the hot dry sands watching. And the cave- in scene was so exciting my heart was thumping as I read!

More gorgeous writing: " 'You came back for me.' 'You would have done the same for me.' 'Why would you do this?' " Of course, the use of this wonderful familiar dialogue is brilliant. And Spock at the pond: "And I cursed the light that touched what I could not."

Without revealing all the plot or even some of the best scenes, I can't resist telling of the scene in the barn at night when Spock removes his robe to stand before Kirk in his open, innocent nakedness. This was one of the most heart-rending scenes I have ever read and I cried and cried when I read: "I want you with me always. I want to show you my stars, and make love to you in the dawn on a thousand worlds, have you make love to me in the moon glow of a thousand more."

And then I completely lost it and couldn't stop crying when I read a seen-it-all, done-it-all Kirk who saw the innocence before him: "I wished I could have gone to him unjaded by experiences with so many others. I wished I could have gone to him clean as a new spring morning."

This story is without question one of my top favorite K/S stories (or any story for that matter) of all time.

Carolyn, what can I say? You've gone and done it again. Left me speechless in awe and admiration of your talent. I sometimes think you just can't get any better and then you go and write this incredible first person Kirk story. It's wonderful, marvelous, extraordinary, prodigious, remarkable... okay, that's enough. I wouldn't want you to get a swelled head. Besides, I won't have any superlatives left for your next story if I use them all now. Stop rolling your eyes. Yes, I'm serious. I can already hear you saying, "Yeah, right."

What did I like about it? Try everything. Kirk as a prostitute is not one of my favorite scenarios, but you made me believe it. What's more, you made me love it. I just adored this cynical, disillusioned academy dropout, who thought he didn't need anybody or anything until he met the one person in the universe he just couldn't live without. Yes, I'm talking about Spock in case there are any of you out there who haven't read this story. Kirk's realization of this need, this new found love for Spock is just so poignant and angst-ridden. And I do so love angst....

The writing is so beautiful, so lyrical and poetic, it makes your heart ache. Like this small scene when Kirk first refuses Spock's offer. "Into his eyes came that look of yearning I had seen at the ring of standing stones. And now I knew why I had recognized it. It was the look of impossible hopes. Of dreams that you dare to dream only in the very secret, hidden places in your soul. Something inside me twisted and died. It was an offer I had to refuse. I wasn't what he needed, and when he looked into my mind he'd find I wasn't what he wanted either." Doesn't that just make you want to cry? Or this paragraph when Spock first undresses for Kirk in the barn. "I'd seen him by starlight, dawn's light, reflected light. I'd once thought of him as a dark angel. Nothing was further from the truth, for where he was the darkness receded, giving way, a vanquished warrior. Spock, himself, was the light." Oh, God, I wish I'd written that.

I had tears streaming down my face during this whole scene in the barn where they first make love. That's how much this story touched me and I'm not an easy crier. But it was so sad and hurt so good. I was curled up on the end of the couch, crying away, having a good old time for myself, when my husband walked by. He looked at me, looked at the zine, shook his head and kept on walking. I swear Carolyn's husband and mine must be related somehow. I seem to remember reading how she had a similar experience a while back. The poor dears must really wonder about us sometimes.

This author's stories always seem to get to me, but she's really outdone herself this time. "Prism" is a definite must read for every K\Ser out there. It has love and romance. Magic and angst. And wonderful sex too. Could you ask for anything more? No, me neither. I'm ready for your next one, Carolyn. I just went out and laid in a new supply of kleenex.

This is just one of these times when I regret that English isn’t my mother tongue, though I probably had the same difficulties finding the right word in my native language now. How to describe a perfect story that has words so fluent like a river and so beautiful like flowers in a summer meadow? How to describe my feelings that went up and down the whole scale of all feelings existing? How to tell the author that she is one of the best writers K/S fandom has ever seen, when I know that she is so modest that she won’t even consider her story as above average? I don’t give much away from the plot because it is very interesting and gripping and perhaps some of you didn’t read it yet.

The a/u story is 80 plus pages and told in the first person point of view, Kirk. We are on Vulcan and meet Sarek, T’Pau and other fascinating people. We learn about Kirk’s sad and wasted life, about broken dreams and what might have been. I loved the vivid contrast the author shows us in this story, like Rembrandt, expressive, dark and light. For example, the filthy bar and suddenly, like shining angels, the men from the Enterprise, or the sinful city (represented by Kirk) and the peaceful moral Vulcan people. Brilliantly, also, that mingling between reality and recollection during the sandstorm and between imagination and reality after the accident. Very touching is the talk between Spock and young Senek. Here you see the experienced mother (I wish I had always that patience) that the author is.

My favorite sentence is on page 89. “You are like the tarmesch, James Kirk, wild and free and powerful. You appear out of the darkness, and with the dawn the land is changed forever. Nothing is as it was before.” Oh, my, isn’t this beautiful, as beautiful as each single sentence is in the story.

Stop, there is another scene I have to write about (actually, there are so many scenes I’d love to write about, but I can’t tell the whole story again in this letter.) It’s on page 75 and shows Spock laughing! I thought I was standing right between the two of them, it is so real. And we learn about another talent of this author, she has such a fine sense of humor! She’s not the one who uses these sledge-hammer methods, no, we rather feel that small smile (that Spock shows so often) between the lines. That smile which is so full of love and tenderness. Well, Carolyn, I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that fandom is waiting for more! We all are looking forward to your next story. (Perhaps, one day even a novel?)

It's really hard for me to find something to say about this story that hasn't been said in glowing terms already. “Prism” is a wonderful example of a sensitive, thoughtful writer, confident in her abilities, giving us a peek into the essential characters of our heroes.

Maybe that's what I find so extraordinary about this novella. “Prism” is an alternate universe story, and yet in my opinion there is no mistaking at all that this is about the Kirk and Spock we know and love.

Kirk—who takes the wrong road and doesn't know how to get himself back where he belongs, who is brought to an understanding of himself only through his immediate attraction to his Vulcan.

Spock—his spirit stifled by Vulcan ways quite different than what we are accustomed to, willing to take the chance to change his life once he is infused by the essential vitality that is his human.

Alone—each lost and misplaced, unable to act even to salvage their own lives; together they are energized and given direction. They truly find themselves through each other.

Among many other examples of the author's exceptional talent I'd like to mention the seemingly effortless way she creates the world these characters inhabit. It's all told from Kirk's most intimate point of view, and we see the world as it unfolds for him, step by step, with no awkward digressions or obviously placed explanations, Carolyn makes this world-building look easy, but it is not.

About the only criticism I have of this story is that the first half is a little too slowly paced, and yet when I went through the story, looking for what I would have cut or condensed, or rearranged. I found that each scene served an essential purpose. This paragraph couldn't go without affecting a scene twenty pages further on, and that paragraph was definitely linked to a complete exposition of theme. The whole piece was seamlessly put together, and changing any of it seems an impossibility.

This isn't just a story I admire on an intellectual basis, it's a story that I enjoy reading, and re-reading. It gets to me where I live, and presents characterizations that ring very true. Probably this Spock is a little “stronger” than the Spock that's presented in some of Carolyn's other stories, such as “The Flame of Chaos” or “The Need for Stars”, but he is still consistent with Carolyn's vision. His strength is exposed in subtle ways, and never runs counter to Kirk's, but complements it.

I like “Prism” as much for the deft exposition of character as for the beauty of the writing itself. What, I wondered, was the odor of shame? is one good example. And the way the bearing grease that gets on Spock's cheek when he goes after Kirk is a reflection of the effect Kirk is having on him, the contamination that is taking place. The whole interweaving of color, darkness and light throughout the story, with the necklaces worn by the Vulcans, and the complexity and richness that each man brings to the others’ life is truly impressive, and evidence of a great deal of skill on the part of the author.

“Prism” is another story in Carolyn Spencer's growing list of exceptional contributions to K/S, Thank you, Carolyn, long may you write!

1997

I bought this zine for the sole purpose of reading this story (I'm not an a/u fan), and I'm glad I did. Since I haven't read the other stories in the zine yet (though I plan to), I can truthfully say that this excellent story was well worth the price of the entire zine. It's really more a "what if" than an alternate universe, and the characterizations were extremely satisfying and on target.

I've read it three times now and it was nothing but more and more absorbing each time. You probably all know this, but I couldn't help wanting to write about this wonderful story!

First thing I have to say is, even if you are staunchly against A/U stories, well, make an exception, dammit. I have little interest in most A/U stories, but for some reason, Carolyn's always fascinate me. It's as if they're not really A/U, they're more like “what-ifs”. And the differences between these guys and “our” guys are so slight as to be totally engrossing. In this case, she shows us how small are the turning points which determine the course of our lives.

The most amazing thing about this story for me is the voice that the author maintains throughout. The story is told by Kirk, and every nuance of the telling shapes the picture we get of him. He is James Kirk, the same one we all know and love, but he has been subtly altered by a moment of crucial decision in his past. I am a Kirk nut and I was in love with him from the very first page. With this Kirk, the author strikes the perfect, poignant balance between jaded flippancy and fragile vulnerability. I love, love, love this man!

Beautifully unfolding opening scenes, which give the feeling of inevitability, of the steady, unavoidable hand of fate which will bring Kirk and Spock together.

Enter Spock, and Kirk's first impression of him: ‘But if this were hell, why was the face on a devil the most beautiful face I had ever seen?' And then later... ‘No, not a devil... an angel. A dark guardian angel standing watch.’ Ah, Carolyn. She makes it seem effortless, doesn't she, girls?

I'm very hard-pressed to do this story justice, or to explain why I read it three times when I had a pile of other zines to read. I've always loved the foil of playing Kirk against Sarek, with Spock in the middle, and some of my favorite scenes in the story did just this. I think it all comes back to the absolute flawlessness with which Ms. Spencer lets us into Kirk's thoughts. I felt for him and identified with him so strongly as the 'stranger in a strange land' that everything which happened to him felt real and immediate. With all the discussion of POV that's been going down, I've found myself agreeing with the opinion that several people have stated—that writing 1st person POV is easier than the alternative. On the other hand, this story showed me quite clearly that there is 1st person and then there is 1st person—and this is the best of the best.

I don't want to go into describing the plot, as it's very long, and I'd only ruin it, and besides, I'm probably the last person on earth to read this story! As for the “Everybody knows humans are mind-blind”, I read it exactly as Carolyn said she meant it, but maybe that's because I've seen the movie “Witness” so many times and I was very conscious of the parallels and the ongoing analysis of prejudice, ignorance, etc. I'll just say that the story was paced beautifully and had me holding my breath in sections even the third time through.

The scene in the cave, where Spock is holding up a collapsing ceiling with his body while Kirk runs to find a support beam! The unexpected moments when a line from aired Trek would appear out of context, so vivid that I could hear the words spoken in the actors' voices. The moments of almost-knowledge when the characters sense the shadows of their other-selves in another reality. The breathtaking moment when Spock comes to rescue Kirk from the clutches of a less-than-savory bar patron.

I really have only one reservation about the story, and it's this. I did not have any real difficulty with the parallels between this story and the story of “Witness”. Carolyn told us a new and unique tale, and I believe she quite deliberately allowed the reader to see the inspiration behind it. There was only one moment for me in which the similarities seemed too jarring. It was the scene with the carnage, when Kirk comes out of the bar to find the humans taunting Spock. That scene is so vivid in the original movie and for some reason it really threw me in reading this story—I literally started picturing Harrison Ford rescuing Spock from his tormentors! Maybe it's just me. I have seen that movie quite a few times.

There are two bits I have to quote directly, because the magic of them is too great to pass up. These were my absolute favorite moments in a story which was basically one big favorite moment. This one, when they have-almost-shared their first kiss:

“You are like the tarmesh, James Kirk, wild and free and powerful. You appear out of the darkness and with the dawn the land is changed forever. Nothing is as it was before.” There was both wonder and wariness in the husky, breathless whisper. The water felt abruptly cold to my hot body. “You like to stand out in the tarmesh, Spock of Vulcan. Remember?”

And this one, in the middle of an absolutely amazing description of the telepathic landscape in a meld; 'How many times had I stood here like this? How many times had he? I didn't know the answer, but that we had been here innumerable times before, and would be here again times beyond counting, each cell in my body knew with unshakable certainty.’...

I want to read it again and again." Anyway, Carolyn, you just keep getting better and better. Thank you for showing us all how it's done!

1998

Prism is a wonderful, thrilling story, it captured me from the begin to the end.

I should never have thought for Kirk as a whore, but, indeed, I think he would do everything to let his ship fix. And then to talk about a respectable city like Shi Kahr as Shit Kart ... nice and funny! Kirk is very real as the bitter student. Sent away from his destiny you can feel his hopelessness, his bitterness when he sees his former friends in the bar. Good idea, to use the Kobiyashi Maru test as the reason why Kirk left Starfleet Academy.

The Vulcans resemble those old religious farmers in the States, the Mennonites they are called, I think. So traditional and conservative .... Spock is beautiful with his long hair .... Sarek is impressive as a man who has lost almost everything he loved and is very protective toward the only thing left.

First, it seemed odd to me, that an advanced people as the Vulcan should run farms by manpower only .... all that intellect, all that knowledge spoiled. But then it seemed only logical and according to Surak's teachings. And I think it is in the Vulcan way to avoid confrontations with those obvious emotional and dangerous humans.

And Spock, milking something similar to cows .... Here it fits, but it is hard to imagine. I loved that little milk-war they are playing, something so new for this very serious and traditional Spock, but he likes it however! Illogical!

Through the story the author pictured the growing affection between the two, and it is so natural that they at last become lovers. You can feel that they are drawn to each other irresistibly.

I loved the scene on the pond. I can just imagine Spock in that white sleeping suit, and then getting changed behind a bush .... that is so the shy and modest Spock he is in this world. It is certainly not the Spock of the series, but here, in this universe he has to be, it is part of what he is.

Lovely, as they first admit their love to each other, and how Kirk reacts as he does, to go away because of what he is, not good enough for Spock.

In the city, when Spock goes after Kirk not wanting him to pick up his old life style and really claiming him is almost a classic love scene.

When they finally make love in the barn... beautiful, and very erotic and lovely. What Kirk answers Spock : " You have to know something before we begin. I want you, but it's not just for tonight. I want you with me always. I want to show you my stars, and make love to you in that dawn of a thousand worlds, have you make love to me in the moon glow of a thousand more. I want to go to sleep with you curled next to me and wake with your breath hot on my neck. I don't want anyone else to see you like this. Ever. But mostly...

mostly I just want to love you, and have you love me" I find that one of the loveliest love-declarations I have read.

The way the author describes how Spock is the light to Kirk’s' colors .... I love the description of what Kirk meant to Spock: all those colors, overwhelming in his gray world. The mindmeld they had is one of the most beautiful picturings of that event I have ever read. All those small details, as dust on your clothes and straw in your hair what you get when you sleep on a dirty barn-floor, made it all look so real.

It was first somewhat confusing why Sarek was so angry. We (and Kirk) thought that he was angry at Kirk for raping Spock. When finally appears that Spock has committed a heavy crime considered to his people and is to be exiled from Vulcan there is of course only one way Kirk can act.

I found it very sad for Sarek that afterwards he was wrong in his opinion that he could not bond to Amanda. Poor Sarek, he missed so much, unnecessarily. Sarek’s story of him and Amanda was touching, so sad that they didn't bond, and I missed a little Sarek's reaction when he found out that it is possible to bind with a human. That must be a very bad moment for him.

When Kirk realizes that he has a bond with Spock and wants to prove it, Sarek answers that there is a possibility that Spock would want to stay. And Kirk’s' fear, so beautiful portrayed: "Oh Gods...when the light shuts off all colors fade to gray ...." Kirk's colors are only visible when Spock's light shines on them; without that all is a dull gray for both of them, because Spock's light started to shine when he sees Kirk’s colors.

Then the 'V'nish'kar'neh' — what a word! But it really looks Vulcan! T'Pau cutting Spock's' long hair... what a pity, indeed.. and that explains why in the series he has short hair.... The scene is very impressive and touching, and of course Kirk in his very Kirkian way interferes and he melds with T'Pau... really, she is a crow! Comparing the beautiful harmonious meld from Kirk with Spock to this one, makes the meld from T'Pau and Kirk an ugly one. But Kirk struggles to reach the light, through the sucking sand.... to reach Spock against all prejudices from his world. He is strong enough to see the source of the light: a crystal prism. A beautiful symbol for Spock, what makes the meaning of the title of the story clear: Kirk finds a prism, that turns out to be Spock. Great!

Did I already mentioned about the pendants? The pendants are be worn by those who are promised ... logical. Nice symbol, and the way T'Pring broke the chain of the pendant and crushes both hers and Spock’s in the sand is so definitive, so irreversible, wonderful.

I love the way T'Pau confesses she is wrong about bonding with humans and about humans in general, and of course Sarek becomes a representative for his people towards the humans, marvelous!

In the end, things from all over the story fit together. Kirk has got them a pendant, in the form of his beloved crystal prism: the light forms the colors, without that, thee is only gray. And, yes, as Kirk told Spock the first time they made love. Spock makes love to him in the end: "I want to show you my stars, and make love to you in that dawn of a thousand worlds, have you make love to me in the moon glow of a thousand more." And they do: Spock framed with stars before the viewscreen: a pity there are no pictures from this!

I must keep reminding myself that this Kirk and Spock are not the mature Kirk and Spock from the Enterprise, but two young men of about 24 years old. The way Kirk is telling this story fits with his age in the story: this is not the (future) starship captain, but an adolescent, a bitter and disappointed man whose dreams are lost, who knows too much. All this takes place before they serve on the Enterprise, and this story fits in that.

The characters in the series could have been the persons this story pictures. I appreciate how the author uses dialog from the movies here, so very much in their place. It binds this world to the Star Trek universe.

I am honored to read this story. I liked it very much. The author pictures a different, but very plausible universe, where Kirk and Spock meet each other and finally go to the stars together, as they are meant to go.

Carolyn, thanks for letting me share this world for a while, and I hope to be able to read more of your stories.

2001

I highly recommend Carolyn Spencer's “Prism”, which was in one of the zines I bought at Shore Leave. It's a Scattered Stars zine, which means it's an AU story. I bought several Scattered Stars zines at SL,Shore Leave and found quite a few enjoyable stories. This one was my favorite, and is an absolutely incredible, wonderful story, one of the best I've ever read. (Gee, can you tell I liked it?) My review cannot possibly do this story justice, but I'll give it a try. (And of course, I do give away most of the plot! Can't seem to write a LOC without doing this.)

This story is told from Kirk's first person POV. The basic premise is that Kirk was kicked out of the Academy for what happened with the Kobayashi Maru. It's 4 years later, and in this story he's 24. He's gotten a ship somehow, and is a trader. (How this happened wasn't explained in the story, but it wasn't really important.) His ship was damaged in an ion storm and he's stuck on Vulcan needing a lot of money to fix his ship, so he's turned to prostitution as a solution. Spock lives on his clan family estate, in a sort of Amish-like farming community. (This is a long-haired Spock, too. Wait until you see the Chris Soto picture of the back view of a naked Spock bathing in a pond. Yummy!) The Vulcans in this story have turned their back on modern technology due to an altercation with humans at the spaceport that accidentally killed Amanda about 8 years before this story is set. Kirk ends up staying with the Vulcans for a while after he is injured in an accident to his aircar, and is rescued by Spock. Spock and Kirk are instantly attracted to each other (of course!) but Sarek is less than pleased with Spock's interest in any human, let alone one involved in prostitution.

Sarek has lost Amanda, and is very protective of Spock. (That's kind of nice to see, as we don't usually see Sarek presented like this.) Spock is not accepted by most of the other Vulcans because of his human blood, and his inability to act at all times as they think a Vulcan should. (Spock is even chastised for helping Kirk to save a young girl trapped in a mine cave-in, because it was not logical to risk two lives for one. He should have gone for help, even though she would have died if he had done that.) We see their mutual attraction unfold and develop, and the events in the story changes them both. Spock becomes willing to risk all to be with Kirk, and to realize his dreams of leaving home and seeing the stars. Kirk is also transformed, losing his cynicism and hopelessness, the sense of despair he had before he met Spock, and gaining a new sense of purpose and direction.

The attraction between Kirk and Spock builds until Kirk sees Spock early one morning bathing at a pond, and they share a wonderful kiss. This scene is exquisite, but so sad, too. Kirk thinks to himself that he's not what Spock really needs, that Spock deserves better than him and that Spock won't want him after they meld, so he runs from Spock after they kiss. Spock comes after him, declares his love for him, takes him back to the farm, and oh, what a wonderful love making scene follows. The gorgeous dialogue makes you want to cry, and the description of how Spock sees Kirk in the meld—all colors that brighten his gray world—is incredible. This scene is beautiful, and even heartbreaking at times, as Kirk regrets his lost innocence, and that he will be taking Spock's innocence. It's one of the most beautiful love making scenes I've ever read, very tender yet so erotic. Spock and Kirk are discovered the morning after by Sarek and Stonn, and Spock is then banished by T'Pau for the crime of mind rape. The Vulcans are convinced all humans are mind blind, and a human could not possibly voluntarily meld with a Vulcan. There's a great scene where T'Pau melds with Kirk and then... Well, I'll leave a few surprises for those of you who haven't read this story, including how the story got its name!

I briefly discussed this story with one friend who had not read it, but just the premise turned her off. She just could not see James T. Kirk as a prostitute under any circumstances. But, Carolyn sets it up really well in this story. What if Kirk had been kicked out of the Academy? What if he were stranded on a planet needing huge sums of money to get off? What would he do? The Kirkian traits of determination and problem solving were turned to this dilemma, and came up with prostitution as the best way (and probably the quickest) to get the money. Plus, this Kirk is much younger than in the TV show , and is bitter and disappointed about not being able to realize his dream of being in Star Fleet. So this is not the successful, confident, idealistic captain of the Enterprise from the TV show. However, he is still recognizable as James T. Kirk. As I said, he has Kirk's determination and ability to solve problems, plus the Kirk charisma, integrity, courage, and humor are still there. Even though this is a Kirk that has taken a different path than the one we know from the series, he still has the same basic personality traits that we are familiar with.So I thought the characterization of him in this story really worked. Carolyn Spencer is such a good writer, too, that her stories are always a pleasure to read.

I would recommend “Prism” if you're interested in something a little different. Even if you don't normally like AU stories, I strongly urge you to give this one a try. It's one of my all time favorite stories and I just love it.

2008

“Prism” is a wonderful, thrilling story, it captured me from the beginning to the end. I should never have thought for Kirk as a whore, but, indeed, I think he would do everything to get his ship fixed. And then to talk about a respectable city like Shi Kahr as Shit Kart... nice and funny! Kirk is very real as the bitter student, sent away from his destiny, you can feel his hopelessness, his bitterness when he sees his former friends in the bar Good idea, to use the Kobiyashi Maru test as the reason why Kirk left Starfleet Academy... I must keep reminding myself that this Kirk and Spock are not the mature Kirk and Spock from the Enterprise, but two young men of about 24 years old. The way Kirk is telling this story fits with his age in the story: this is not the (future) starship captain, but an adolescent, a bitter and disappointed man whose dreams are lost, who knows too much. All this takes place before they serve on the Enterprise, and this story fits in that. The characters in the series could have been the persons this story pictures. I appreciate how the author uses dialog from the movies here, so very much in their place. It binds this world to the Star Trek universe. I am honored to read this story. I liked it very much. The author pictures a different, but very plausible universe, where Kirk and Spock meet each other and finally go to the stars together, as they are meant to go.

“Prism” is just one more example of Ms. Spencer's formidable talent for storytelling. It is so easy when a story is a/u to have the main protagonists vary from the personalities we are so familiar with. There is no danger of that here. Kirk is unmistakably brash, vibrant, devastatingly charming along with owning a strong sense of justice. And Spock? Heavens, how I love this woman's Spocks. They are kinder, gentler. The author is masterful at showing that aspect of him...of bringing out his innocence, his soul deep goodness without making Spock in any way seem remotely wimpish. How does she capture that quality, that intensity? The story begins in Shikahr City better known to its' human inhabitants as Shit Kart City. Kirk has taken a turn as a prostitute to earn money to fix his broken down ship. Through an accident he comes in contact with the native Vulcans who have opted to live a pacifistic agrarian life separating themselves from non-Vulcan's and modern technology. So simple are these people's wants and needs that they still use flush toilets that are now museum pieces anywhere else. Since first they meet the attraction between Kirk and Spock is unmistakable.

I liked that this story was from Kirk's perspective so we see his reaction to the Vulcan way of life, the repressiveness of their society and, of course, Spock. I love the way the author builds up towards their relationship. You can't rush love and Ms. Spencer brings them together slowly, yet steadily on course. We know they are destined for each other just by a word, a look...Ms. Spencer never wastes words, the dialogue is so natural to the two. The milking scene in the barn was a delight. But for a few exceptions, the majority of Vulcans would just wish Kirk and his kind would go away and leave their world in peace. Eventually it takes a near disaster and the demonstration of Kirk and Spock courage and love to convince them otherwise. I felt rather sad for Sarek and his ambivalence towards humans, distrusting them, yet the great love of his life was one and his son is half human. The secondary characters, the Vulcan parents and the two children were wonderful, they came across as very real and sympathetic...you could really care for them. There is so much more to this story, so rich in detail and so true to the main characters. Indeed, even a Kirk person like me melts into a ball of putty where Spock is concerned when Ms. Spencer writes him. I love our dear Vulcan anyway, but she just makes me appreciate him all the more. And, of course, what binds any of Ms. Spencer's stories together (as in this story) is the love between Kirk and Spock and how it can overcome what any ordinary character would consider insurmountable obstacles. These are no ordinary men and the author does a wonderful job of showing us why they are not ordinary. Thank you, Carolyn.

2011

I recently reviewed another of this author's stories and in that review, I mentioned how great it was that old stories like this one, which were published in zines I‘ve never owned were finally making their way onto the net, giving me and many other K/Srs the chance to discover these wonderful gems from years past for the very first time. And “Prism” certainly fits into that category. As is typical with this author's stories, it is a marvelous, captivating tale that is a “must read” for every K/S fan.

The author describes this story as “Spock as an Amish dude” and while technically he's not Amish, he does live in a society on Vulcan which is very similar - a simple lifestyle of farming, with little or no use for technology, where one does not question the wisdom of one's elders and obedience is the norm. As a half-breed, Spock's acceptance into that society is at times an uneasy one, as he often thirsts for knowledge that is discouraged by his elders and longs to expand his world beyond the tracts of land he farms every day. Yet despite his dreams and desires, he seems destined to never see them fulfilled. Then one day he happens upon an unexpected scene – a crumbled air car with an injured human inside. That human is, of course, James Kirk, but here he is not the heroic captain of the Enterprise. Rather, this Jim Kirk has been booted out of Starfleet because of his stunt with the Kobayashi Maru. Temporarily stranded on Vulcan after an ion storm damaged his small ship, Kirk is working the “seedier” human district as a male whore to earn enough money to repair his ship and get off the planet. But one night the unexpected appearance of several Enterprise crewmen, some of whom are old friends, drives him out of the establishment where he works and into the lives of Spock, Sarek, and the other Vulcans who, to outward appearances, live quiet, content, routine lives. But Kirk quickly learns that when it comes to Spock, he is not as peaceful or tranquil as he might want others to believe. For the same fire that compels Kirk to travel the stars burns deep inside Spock, as well. But while Spock is convinced that fire must remain unlit, Kirk is determined to fan those flames. He also comes to realize that a different type of flame is igniting inside him – one of passion and desire for his gentle Vulcan friend.

Eventually, he learns that same flame burns inside Spock, as well, but their new relationship quickly turns disastrous as Spock‘s actions are called into account by the elders of his clan. Only Kirk’s belief that what the Vulcans believe cannot ever exist does indeed exist turns that disaster into hope and the possibility of a future together out amongst the stars.

I've always said that it comes to writing a K/S story, the one most important element of that story is for the author to keep the true characters of Kirk and Spock intact. As long as that one simple rule is followed, one can put these two men in any time, place, or universe and the story will still work. “Prism” is a shining example of this. This author knows these two men so well, inside and out, and that knowledge shines through in her portrayal of them in this story. It is this knowledge that makes this story, despite its unusual setting, so believable and even more, so unforgettable.