Perfect Timing

Zine
Title:	Perfect Timing
Publisher:
Editor(s):	Colin Baker
Date(s):	1998-1999
Series?:
Medium:	print zine
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Doctor Who
Language:	English
External Links:	source here Perfect Timing 2
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Perfect Timing is a gen anthology, a charity zine, distributed by the editors in return for donations to the Foundation for the Study of Infant Death.

Issue 1

Perfect Timing 1 Introduction by Colin Baker. Released: November 1998. Reprinted in 1999 with two additional stories, Time Ruins and What if We Went to Italy.

Cover blurb: "For 35 years the Doctor's adventures have been showcased on television, in comics, novels, videos, cereal packets and more recently on the internet. This project, timed to be released to celebrate this anniversary, has brought together some of the very best "Who" writers. Some names may already be familiar to you, some should hopefully become so in the near future!

For this collection, they have all kindly donated original stories, poems and drabbles featuring the Doctor, his companions, and his world, from all eras of the show, and from the books - stories from the Doctor's past, present (and future!)

35 pieces to celebrates 35 years of time travel -- including:

A brief encounter for the Doctor and Susan - but what about those they leave behind? The Second Doctor pays a return visit to Venus for some Martial Arts instruction. Iris Wildthyme: The U.N.I.T. years... H.P. Lovecraft finds out that life can be stranger than fiction... Europa, the 32nd century. Miles dahwood is having a spot of bother with his fiancée and Count Dracula... The Fourth Doctor and Romana find that fiction can be stranger than reality... and the truth behind those missing Professor X episodes is finally revealed...! What is that has been hiding in the TARDIS -- and from the minds of the Fifth Doctor and his companions? The Sixth Doctor and Grant find themselves dealing with one of the deadliest menace to Earth -- a psychotic, theme park Santa Claus! The Seventh Doctor and Chris find something nasty lurking in the semingly peaceful, cloistered heart of In'sav'aar... The Eight Doctor visits some old friends, ad pays a return visit to Tomstone, Arizona... A Future Doctor faces an old enemy -- and a personal pain...

The Use of the Myth by Paul Cornell

• A poem on the mythical status of the Doctor.

Bear Paw Adventures by David J. Howe (1st Doctor and Susan)

• A grizzled prospector tells the tale of his childhood friend Pete, who once took a bad fall down a supposedly haunted mine shaft while playing a trick on his friends. An old man and a young girl who could not have possibly come from inside the mine then rescued, or kidnapped, Pete, and his terrified friends ran back to town as an odd wheezing groaning sound came from the mine shaft. When they arrived back in town, however, they found Pete waiting -- but he seemed somewhat older and more distant, and claimed to have been travelling for some time with a fellow called "the Doctor". After his experience, Pete became something of a dreamer, and was never the same again.

Always Let The Conscious Be Your Guide by Mark Clapham and Jim Smith (Yartek)

• Yartek, former leader of the Voord, is stripped of the alien bio-suit which gave him his powers and is placed on trial in the city of Millennium. However, he insists that his actions, evil though they were, were necessary to reintroduce chaos to a world bound rigidly by the strictures of the Conscience. The delegation from Kandalinga accepts his claims and abstains, and since voting is not unanimous a mistrial is declared.

Birth Pains by Damon Cavalchini

• A quasi-organic, pan-dimensional being, bound into servitude by the slavemasters who imprisoned its forebears, nevertheless comes to respect the man who set it free and has travelled the Universe with it; thus, as the Doctor comes to the moment of his death, the TARDIS helps him through it, regenerating him and taking him on further travels.

Venusian Sunset by Paul Leonard (2nd Doctor, Ben and Polly)

• The Second Doctor visits Venus to refresh his knowledge of Venusian aikido, but learns that his teacher Rignontojij is about to be executed for teaching the Fighting Art to an outsider. The Doctor fights the official assassin Suri-Cator on Rignontojij's behalf, and bests him. Suri-Cator retreats, to return in a hundred days, but Rignontojij admits that this happens regularly; the Council respects his skills as a teacher, and thus each time an assassin is sent to kill him his current student is allowed to fight on his behalf. If he has taught his student well, his student will win and his life will be spared. This time, however, Rignontojij's student accepts that he was not ready to fight, swallows his pride and promises to be ready next time.

From the Cutting Room Floor: Excerpts from Dark Path by David A. McIntee

• A number of scenes cut from the published version of the Missing Adventure The Dark Path. Koschei and Ailla fight a Sontaran squad which is attempting to conquer the planet Ribos. Ailla allows herself to be caught extracting data from the Sontaran ship's computer, while Koschei, claiming to be a mercenary, offers to release the Sontarans' toxin into the city Shurr's water supply. In fact, he releases the toxin into the air, in such a concentration that it will be harmless to the Ribans but fatal to the Sontarans. Ailla, while pretending to extract data from the Sontaran ship has in fact installed a computer virus which shuts down its cloaking device, and as the Sontarans collapse from the effects of the virus, Cyrrhenic ships target and destroy their ship, saving the planet from invasion. Victoria realizes that Ailla is in love with Koschei, but Ailla points out that there are different kinds of love. She does not desire Koschei sexually, but cares for him and wants to be with him at all times. Koschei and the Doctor discuss their old friends from the Academy; Magnus, who disappeared off somewhere with a collection of spare TARDIS parts, and Ushas, who has made a new home for herself as the rani of Miasimia Goria. When Salamanca's history is rewritten, he does not act like a reptilian Draconian but as a man with a full range of human emotions, who is involved in a relationship with Captain Sherwin. After Ailla's death, Koschei has a vision of Fate, but rejects it; he cannot accept that Ailla's death was simple bad luck. He has nobody to rely on now but himself. When he learns that Ailla is in fact a Time Lady assigned to keep an eye on him, he has a vision of Fate in which the castle he has built for himself crumbles; he smashes the mirror in which he sees Fate laughing at him, now determined to be the master of his own destiny.

Thicket of Thieves by Kathryn Sullivan (2nd Doctor, Jamie and Zoe)

• While visiting an alien library, the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe are accused of damaging a book about the Oniomido, an ancient race of space travellers. They are soon proven innocent, but the Doctor, curious, takes his companions to a nearby exhibition of Oniomidon artefacts. There, Jamie and Zoe overhear two separate groups of thieves planning to steal the exhibit, but Professor Srurska, the leading authority on the Oniomodo, refuses to believe them. The exhibit is indeed stolen, but by neither of the two groups -- instead by the cleaning woman, a Licorian who was trying to reclaim one of her people's treasures. The Oniomido turn out to have been a group of cargo-cult thieves whose treasures came from several different worlds. The Doctor convinces Srurska to return the Licorian artefact in exchange for the rest of the exhibit, and while one group of thieves is arrested by the planet's police, Srurska enters negotiations with the second group -- Remudaians who worshipped the Oniomido as gods, and who also wish to reclaim their heritage.

The UNIT Things by Peter Anghelides

• A poem.

Entertaining Mr. O by Paul Magrs (Iris Wildthyme)

• Ministry equipment is vanishing into a universe of anti-matter, and only Iris Wildthyme can help her old friend Alistair to investigate. The mysterious Mr O claims to be holding the equipment for ransom, but he is in fact a shabby defeated man wearing a bad disguise. While trying to reclaim the equipment from the crates in Mr O's warehouse, Iris is consumed by a black blobby thing and ends up in the Death Zone with her other incarnations, although there really is no such place.

Masters of Terror by James Ambuehi and Laurence J. Cornford (The Master)

• While exploring a swamp to research ambience, H.P.Lovecraft stumbles across a hidden Silurian base which has been woken by the Master. The Silurians, however, refuse to obey the Master and attempt to sacrifice him and Lovecraft to their idol. Lovecraft steals the gemstone which was to have reactivated their hibernation chambers, and he and the Master escape in the Master's TARDIS, which was disguised as the sacrificial idol. Without the gemstone, the Silurians must return to hibernation. The Master, amused, offers Lovecraft the opportunity to explore the Universe with him; Lovecraft refuses, but the Master is impressed by his strength of will and clarity of thought, and returns him home, promising not to revive any more Silurian bases within Lovecraft's lifetime.

Baron (Count) Dracula and Count (Baron) Frankenstein by Stephen Marley (Miles Dashwood)

• Miles Dashwood and his semi-loyal servant Crocker attempt to rescue Miles' beloved Beatrice from the dastardly Count Dracula, but find themselves interrupted by van Helsing -- who looks exactly like the Count. Further confusion results when Victor Frankenstien, arrives in pursuit of his Creature, who is also his exact lookalike. To resolve the difficulties, Crocker reveals that he once held a position as Scotland Yard inspector, and explains that this area of Europa was concocted out of Hammer Horror films; Dracula, Frankenstein, van Helsing and the Creature are all cloned actors imprinted with the personalities of their characters. One actor played Dracula and the Creature, while the other played both van Helsing and Victor Frankenstein -- but an error in personality transfer has resulted in Dracula and Frankenstein's personalities being placed in the wrong bodies. Since the original two actors were the best of friends, all is resolved, and the happy foursome depart the castle to knock back a few pints at the local pub.

The Aurelius Gambit by Helen Fayle (Sarah Jane Smith and K-9)

• Sarah Jane Smith and private eye Steve Kennelly join forces to investigate the disappearance of James Farrington, renowned chess player and CEO of Carrefour Industries. Under cover of the company's anniversary party, they break into Farrington's office and find his body, shrunken to the size of a doll. They then overhear a conversation between Farrington's associates Marie Jenner and Lance Victor, and learn that they had made a deal with terrorist Victor Magister -- also known as the Master -- to mass-produce Tissue Compression Eliminators for the black market; Farrington was killed when he objected, but managed to hide the blueprints for the TCEs before he died. Sarah and Kennelly escape from the building, taking Farrington's chess set -- and Sarah works out that when the famous Aurelius Gambit is played on the chess set it opens up into a laptop computer, on which Farrington had stored all of the data. It can now be safely disposed of, leaving Jenner and Victor with nothing.

Not Necessarily In That Order... by Paul Ebbs (4th Doctor and Romana II)

• Upon arriving in the royal household of King Tammanan, the Doctor and Romana are pursued by the infuriated King's soldiers across the countryside, and after a long and hard run they eventually escape back to the TARDIS. The Doctor never learns that upon emerging from the TARDIS he had accidentally trodden upon the King's prized Petura Plant, the first to have budded in the kingdom for two centuries...

Child of Darkness by Daniel Blythe (4th Doctor, Romana II and K-9)

• The Doctor and Romana follow a temporal anomaly to a council estate in the early 21st century, where a soldier from the future is trying to kill a young boy named Alex Malokian. The Doctor, recalling that the world will soon come under the control of a dictator named Malokian, concludes that the Time Lords sent Paolucci back to change history -- but when he confronts them he is told that he is incorrect. Paolucci escapes from Romana and goes hunting Alex again -- and although Romana manages to stop her, the frightened boy runs into the street and is hit by a car. As a result of his brother's death, his little sister Lisa grows up to be a dictator, and humanity is strengthened by her overthrow.

The Zargathon Menace by Jonathan Morris (4th Doctor and Romana II)

• The Doctor takes Romana to the Morecambe and Wise Christmas special of 1979, but filming is interrupted by a pair of aliens who have arrived in the BBC Television Centre to battle the evil Zargathons. The Elyans are ignored by BBC staff who believe them to be method actors preparing for a new Professor X episode. In order to prove to the baffled and angry Elyans that Earth is not under threat, the Doctor takes them back in time to 1964 to watch the recording of "The Zargathon Menace", a Professor X episode; the transmission had just reached the Elyan homeworld in 1979, and as they have no concept of fiction they assumed that the Earth really was under attack. Humiliated, the Elyans return home, and the Doctor travels to 1972 and removes the offending episode from the archives to ensure this does not happen again.

One Perfect Twilight by Craig Hinton (5th Doctor, Tegan, Turlough and Kamelion)

• The Doctor realizes that Kamelion is trying to avoid him, for fear that someone with strong enough willpower may be able to turn him against the Doctor. Trying to find some way to give Kamelion free will, the Doctor takes the shapeshifter to the heart of the TARDIS and uses block transfer computations to help Kamelion relive the moment of his birth. It becomes clear, however, that Kamelion was designed by a race of near-omnipotent beings who were themselves wiped out by their own robots when their chosen victims, the Xeraphin, proved to have an even stronger will than the Kamelions' creators. The Doctor is left with the unpleasant understanding that obedience and slavery is built into Kamelion's very being -- and that it may one day be necessary for him to kill Kamelion if the robot is ever turned against him.

Ghost in the Machine by Trina L. Short (Turlough)

• Upon returning to Trion, Turlough finds that the computer systems in his workplace are failing, and is appalled when his programmers blame the annual malfunction on the ghost of a technician who was shot at his post during the revolution. Turlough analyses the problem scientifically rather than fall prey to superstition, and discovers that the dead programmer was in fact trying to solve the same problem at the time of his death, which means his ghost can't be responsible. He soon discovers that the real culprit is a species of insect which has laid its eggs in the system; each year, they hatch and create havoc for a week until the grown insects move out, leaving more eggs to start the cycle next year.

The 6th Doctor Sends A Letter by Charles Daniels (6th Doctor and Peri)

• The Doctor and Peri visit a continent-sized shopping mall on the planet Digma Ego Seven, where Peri tries to get the Doctor to eat a triple-decker cheeseburger and accidentally insults the ambassador from Clothes World 1 by attempting to buy it. The Doctor in turn takes her to the funfair on the other continent, but after losing at several games of skill and protesting, he and Peri are summarily evicted from the planet under court order never to return.

The Great Journey of Life Ends Here by Gary Russell (6th Doctor and Peri)

• A party of soldiers sent to investigate the disappearance of a colony on Melkos 3 are attacked by the Macra, and when the TARDIS materializes it too is dragged underground by the Macra, stranding him and Peri with the soldiers. A group of Nimon then arrive and begin draining power from the abandoned colony's systems, but the Doctor confronts them and pulls off the lead Nimon's head to reveal that it is in fact a withered being inside an exoskeletal suit of armour. He forces the Nimon to use its transfer unit to bring the TARDIS here, but it accidentally transports an angry Macra as well. The Macra attacks the Nimon and accidentally reactivates its transfer unit, transporting itself and the Nimon away from the planet. The Doctor takes the soldiers to safety in the TARDIS, and Melkos 3 is placed under quarantine.

Wish Upon a Star Beast by Steve Lyons (6th Doctor and Grant)

• The Doctor and Grant Markahm visit the amusement centre Santaland, where the Doctor learns that the disillusioned Santa Claus is selling Meeps as pets to the children of Earth, intending to release a wave of Black Star radiation across the planet on Christmas Day and transform the Meeps into psychotic killers. His plans revealed, Santa activates a satellite which bathes Santaland in the deadly radiation, and the Meeps begin to become psychopathic. While Grant tries to shut down the satellite the Doctor sets off into the park to gun down the killer Meeps, and although he is brought down by a group of furious parents, the good Meeps battle the evil Meeps and hold them off until Grant completes his work. A number of children have been traumatised for life, but the Earth is safe.

Schrödinger's Botanist by Ian McIntire (6th Doctor and Grant)

• The Doctor admits to Grant that he is still haunted by the fragmented memories of his trial, and does not know whether Peri is alive or dead; he refuses to return to Thoros Beta, for as long as he does not go there, he does not have to know for certain. He and Grant journey together, and are accompanied by a Legion for some time; however, Grant is nearly killed when he links his mind to a computer being attacked by a virus, and the Doctor, unwilling to risk his life any further, leaves him at the Bi-Al Foundation to make a new life for himself. He eventually returns to apologise to Grant for abandoning him, but Grant is too hurt to accept the apology, and before storming out on the Doctor, he reminds him that his companions choose to travel with him; he cannot hold himself personally responsible for everything that happens to them. Continuity: Although this marks the closest thing to an official departure that Grant will ever get, it is implied that he was somehow edited out of Time and trapped at the heart of the Space/Time Vortex in the Short Story Repercussions...

Second Hand by Rob Stradling (7th Doctor and Ace)

• Ace and the Doctor celebrate the New Year together.

Doing it Right by Alan Taylor (7th Doctor and Tegan)

• The Doctor finds the proper way to say goodbye to his old companion Tegan.

Cheeky Things by Erin (Tumilty)

• The Doctor finds a poem written by Tegan, and realizes her true feelings for him.

Chain Male by Keith Topping (Tegan)

• The Doctor brings Tegan to attempt a reconciliation with her former husband, rock star Johnny Chester, who blames her for calling him weak and walking out on him. She is unable to get through to him, however, and the Doctor realizes that he can't help them.

Ascension by Stephen Graves (7th Doctor and Chris)

• The Doctor and Chris visit the temple of In'sav'aar to grieve Roz's death, but as Chris explores the monastery he discovers what appears to be a parasite growing on the neck of a sleeping monk. The Doctor analyses the "parasite", and discovers that the monks are in fact psychic vampires, feeding on the souls of the pilgrims who seek spiritual cleansing in their temple. The Doctor destroys the crystal through which the monks focus their powers, finally releasing the trapped gestalt created from the remains of their victims. Chris, who had nearly fallen victim to the monks, now accepts that he does not have to sacrifice himself to atone for Roz's death. He and the Doctor depart, while the monks, their secret exposed, allow the sunlight of their world to incinerate them.

Caveat Emptor by Susannah Tiller (7th Doctor)

• The Doctor purchases the last surviving human being at auction, to ensure the human race will find a new beginning rather than ending as a trophy or food for another alien species.

Doctor Patient Relationship: Vampire Science -- Second Draft Chapter 1 by Kate Orman and Jonathan Blum --

• This is the original first chapter of Vampire Science which starred Grace instead of Carolyn. The Doctor visits Grace Holloway on her birthday, and takes her to the notorious premiere of the Rite of Spring in Paris, 1913. Once again he offers her the chance to travel with him, but once again she turns him down. The next year, they spend the day in San Francisco until the Doctor picks up a distress call from an alien planet; Grace accompanies him, but her unfamiliarity with the distressed alien's physiognomy nearly causes her to kill it and she is forced to stand by helplessly as it dies. She chooses once again not to travel with the Doctor, but to remain on Earth, where she can make a difference.

Worm by Lance Parkin (8th Doctor and Bernice)

• The Eighth Doctor and Benny defeat a Worm invasion force in 1860s Germany, and pursue their leader to a nearby railway station where it is attempting to hide itself. To save a helpless mugger from the Worm's psychic attack, the Doctor surrenders himself to it, but when the Worm attempts to feed on his memories it realizes that every time the Doctor has faced an alien threat, he has survived and defeated it. In shock, the Worm surrenders and allows the Doctor to send it home.

The Ravages of Time by Mags L. Halliday (8th Doctor and Bernice)

• Benny Summerfield tells her students a ghost story about Edgar Allen Poe, who once knew a man called the Doctor who had told him a story about a writer who saw his own grave. Later in his life he met another man named the Doctor, who was fighting a race of time leeches in Baltimore -- and although the Doctor destroyed them all, one of them managed to feed upon Poe's personal timeline. Poe, seeing his past, present and future blurring together, sees his own grave and realizes that the Doctor who had told him the story was a future incarnation of the Doctor he had fought beside. Poe dies, but every year the Doctor visits his grave, and places a half-finished bottle of cognac and three red roses at the site.

Emerald Green by Mark Phippen (8th Doctor and Sam)

• The Eighth Doctor and Sam pick up an alien signal from Tombstone, Arizona, where a Belatrixian window named Moreeda has gone into retreat to mourn her husband's death. Her hired Navarino timeship returns to pick her up, but Jarkas mercenaries emerge and capture her; her major-domo Turon has betrayed her and embezzled much of her fortune, and he now intends to steal the Deathstone which is all she has to remember her dead husband. The Doctor and Sam help her to escape and barricade themselves in the ship's time travel facility with its owner Pharno, and the Doctor convinces the reluctant Moreeda to give up her Deathstone to activate the time engines and transport the ship two hundred years into the future. There, it is boarded by hostile humans who take Turon and the Jarkas prisoner, and the Doctor then transports himself and his friends back to the 1880s, where he can return the others home in the TARDIS. Moreeda accepts that she must live with only the memory of her husband.

Sad Professor by Nick Walters (Bernice)

• Benny is feeling depressed about life when she runs into the Doctor in the Witch and Whirlwind -- and finds that this is merely a social call, and that he now travels the Universe with a younger companion named Sam. Upset and feeling discarded, she storms out on him, but later reconsiders; fortunately, he has remained, and she comes to terms with the fact that he has moved on. When he bids her farewell and tells her that they will meet again -- although not on Dellah -- she realizes that her depression stems from a sense of restlessness, and that she too will be moving on to a new period in her life soon.

Transitions by Daniel Ben (Zvi)

• The Doctor ponders the passing and departure of his companions and the deaths he has been unable to prevent.

Nightmare by Nathan Skreslet

• The Doctor suffers nightmares of the Dalek invasion of Earth, knowing that he cannot prevent it without shattering the fabric of Time, but feeling each death nonetheless.

Dark Paragon by Jon Andersen (Future Doctor)

• After the Doctor's death, his last companion carries on his legacy, becoming the new Doctor out of faith in what he stands for. However, the Master appears to her, demanding to know why she follows his teachings when he is no better than anyone else; he has killed, he has laid planets to waste... what makes him any better than the Master? The new Doctor faces the sins of the old and her own, but accepts them as a part of herself; the Universe needs the Doctor, and she is the Doctor, with all that entails.

Time Ruins by Sarah Hadley (2nd Doctor and Jamie)

What if We Went to Italy by Tom Beck (6th Doctor, Peri)

Issue 2

Perfect Timing 2 Introduction by Colin Baker. Released: November 1999.

cover of issue #2

Cover blurb: "Once again bringing you a selection of short stories and artwork by both fans and professional writers and artists, distributed in support of the Foundation for the Study of Infant Death, and featuring TV's favourite time traveller."

• Alien Nation by Peter Anghelides
• I'll Name That Tune In One by Peter Anghelides
• Darkness Before Me by Jim Campbell (1st Doctor and Susan)
• Identity Crisis by Nathan Skeslet
• Genesis of the Dustbins: A Report By Zoe Heriot by Charles Daniels (Alternate 2nd Doctor)
• A Handful of Silver by Mags L. Halliday (3rd Doctor and Jo)
• Invasion of the Dinosaurs by Sarah Jane Smith by Mike Sivier (3rd Doctor and Sarah)
• Knitworld: A Fourth Doctor story set in the Missing Companion Series set somewhere between the Third and Fifth Doctors by Stephen Marley (4th Doctor and Sarah)
• Goodbye Rembrandt by David J. Howe (4th Doctor, Romanan II, K9)
• The Giving Invasion by Paul Leonard (4th Doctor)
• A Cup of Coffee by Daniel Ben-Zvi (5th Doctor, Tegan and Turlough)
• Kyreth by Kimberly Yale and John Ostrander (5th Doctor and Nyssa)
• The Effect Of Dimensional Transcendence On Mozzarella Cheese by Diane Duane (5th Doctor)
• Nameless by David Bickley (1st Doctor and Susan, 2nd Doctor and Jamie, 3rd Doctor, 4th Doctor, 5th Doctor and Nyssa, 6th Doctor and Mel)
• Painting History by Damon Cavalchini (6th Doctor)
• Black Snow by David Bishop (7th Doctor and Ace)
• Safe in the Knowledge by Mark Phippen (7th Doctor)
• Adjucator's Holiday by Kathryn Sullivan (7th Doctor, Chris and Roz)
• Past Time Catching by Dave Stone (7th Doctor, Bernice, Roz and Chris)
• Pulp Cutaway by David A. McIntee
• Isolation by Gareth Humphreys (8th Doctor and Chris)
• Quicksilver Bees by Martin Day (7th Doctor)
• First Person by Philip Purser-Hallard (7th Doctor, 8th Doctor)
• Fishy Business by Lance Parkin (Alternate 8th Doctor)
• Empty Nest by Jon de Burgh Miller
• Cause and Effect by Rebecca Dowgiert (8th Doctor and Sam)
• The Hand of the Goddess by Susannah Tiller (8th Doctor and Sam)
• Unseen Rooms by Imran Inyat (8th Doctor, Fitz and Compassion)
• This Hollywood Life by Jonathan W. Dennis
• Fangrrl Life by Phil Pascoe (8th Doctor)
• Mysterious Ways by Julian Eales (Future Doctor)
• Memories to Forget by Barry Williams (Future Doctor)
• Touching Indigo by R.J. Anderson (Future Doctor)
• Grey by Jon Andersen
• Apocalypse Angel by Finn Clarke (Future Romana)
• The Next Universe but One by Dave Owen
• A Tapestry of Shadows by Alan Taylor
• It's Raining Again by Paul Magrs and Stewart Sheargold
• Unlimited by Ian McIntire (3rd Doctor and Sarah)
• Aria For The Broken Hearted by Richard Prekodravac (Alternate 7th Doctor)
• From the Cutting Room Floor, Take 2: Craig Hinton's "The Crystal Bucephalus" by Craig Hinton (Alternate 7th Doctor)
• Here be Dragons by Helen Fayle (Future Doctor)
• Toy Story by Lawrence Miles (8th Doctor, Fitz and Compassion)

Reactions and reviews

The fact that this is an unofficial publication means the stories can be a little different, a little weirder than normal. There are stories with all the familiar Doctors, of course, but also many stories featuring future Doctors, unspecified Doctors, and Doctors who are not really Doctors at all. The book is divided into five sections: Past, Present, Future, Oblique, and Absolute. Each section is prefaced by some impenetrable text by Lawrence Miles. there is a lot of art in it, too, including pieces by comic book artists Dave Gibbons and Steve Yeowell. Yeowell's drawing of the Third Doctor as Austin Powers is my personal favorite. I won't try to cover all of the stories in this collection but here are some of the more notable works.

• Knitworld by Stephen Marley: No-nonsense cleaning woman Mrs. Moggins is the companion the fourth Doctor always should have had. They make a wonderful team and spend a large part of the story making witty banter. Thw whimsical prose style is what makes this story great:'Don't forget that the absurdity principle is one of the fundamental constants of the cosmos' says the Doctor, Mrs. Moggins replies, "that's as may be, sir, but it won't put a pig's trotter on the dinner table come Eastertide, if you catch my drift.'
• The Effect of Dimensional Transcendence on Mozzarella Cheese by Diane Duane : The fifth doctor makes pizza for an old unnamed friend, and we see him at his most relaxed and, well, undoctorish.
• Past Time catching up by Dave Stone. This is the maddest and the funniest thing I've read by Dave Stone. The description doesn't do the story justice, but imagine a pulp sci-fi magazine featuring stories with Bernice and Chris, and Dr. John Smith advertising the amazing science fo Practibrantics. Parts of this story apeear as the appendix of Heart of TARDIS, but the full story is much better.
• Fishy business by Lance Parkin. This feels like an opening chapter rather than a short story. However, it is worthwhile because it suggests what the books might be like now if Virgin was still publishing them, with the eighth Doctor and Bernice were romantically involved.
• Fangrrl Life by Phillip Pascoe. This the story that would never appear in an official publication, and I'm glad it was published here. I had trouble with the prose style; idiosyncratic use of typography (parentheses and italics); very short sentences, and irritating narration in general. It starts out as an intriguing story, and halfway through it turns into something really weird. I love how the TARDIS dematerialisation sound is described as 'a sound like a car crash or a heart breaking.' The TARDIS leaves the Doctor, takes on human female form, and begins a romantic relationship with a woman in Perth - and that's just the beginning.
• Mysterious Ways by Julian Eales. Apparently this Doctor is based on the Doctor as played by Rupert Booth from the Timebase fan videos. Itis a murder mystery set in a city where zombies are hired to tend supermarkets, and the Doctor helps out a investigations force composed of psychics and shamans.
• Grey by Jon Andersen. This is fantastic, much better than Jon Andersen's story for the first Perfect Timing. When the Doctor is gone, someone will replace him. It's an original way of making the Doctor a woman.
• A day in the death of the land of fiction by Jim Mortimore and friends. A mix of poetry and evocative images in the style of Alfred Bester's Golem100. I don't know if it works as well as it could, but it's a cool take on Doctor, villain, and companion roles.
• It's raining again by Stewart Sheargold and Paul Magrs. It is a Davison era as a fairy tale, where the Doctor if the King of Summer, transformed into a lizard and Turlough rubs ointment on his scales. The Master is the Duke of Autumn who catches falling leaves in his black hat, and Adric is a dryad trapped in a tree. Iris (I think it's Iris) makes an appearance as the Spinster of Seasons. This is jaw-droppingly beautiful and is my favorite story in the collection.