Letter to X
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| Title: | Letter to X |
| Creator: | Aja |
| Date(s): | April 1, 2003 |
| Medium: | |
| Fandom: | |
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| External Links: | Letter to X |
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Letter to X is a 2003 essay by Aja. It is both an open letter to fans who oppose certain kinds of fanfiction because of their religious beliefs, and a personal comment to a specific fan who told Aja that he was no longer a reader of her fic because it went against his belief in God.
It is part of a 2002-04 series of essays. See About Writing.
Excerpts
Dear X, You are a wonderful person and a kind one and a loving, sweet, sincere human being. I have really enjoyed getting to know you over the past few months.
You chose today to declare that you have found God, and are disassociating yourself from anyone who might be a source of temptation for you to sin.
At first I thought you were sincere, then I realised it was April Fool's and thought that maybe you were joking. But you weren't.
I don't know if I can describe how it feels for me personally to realise that somebody thinks that my presence in their life is a hindrance to their personal walk with Christ. I mean. It feels terrible. I hate that my writing, any of my writing, can be taken by anyone serious about spiritual growth as something they need to avoid.
You aren't the first person in this fandom who has done that, but I don't know that anybody's ever come right out and indicated to me directly, as you did, that my fanfiction was keeping them from God.
There is something about that that is so utterly hard to hear, and demoralizing. You said that you still like to read my fics, that of course you'll continue to read my non-smutty things. Love Under Will was edited for content at Schnoogle because it was too racy, and in the end I only changed a sentence or two. At what point, X, does your conscience begin to prick? Is it when Harry dislocates Draco's jaw, and Draco reacts exactly like a battered wife would by blaming himself for the violence, in chapter 11 of LUW? Is it when Harry screws Tom Riddle in the R-rated "Want," or when he dreams of torturing and murdering his enemies in LUW and The Reader?
No, it's not then--it's when somebody actually says the word "cock" in Commencement, which is one of the mildest things I've ever written.
I hate religion, X. I hate a religion that still reaches its fingers out to me no matter how strong and confident enough I grow, to tell me that I'm not good enough or holy enough or pure enough.
I can understand that if something is demoralizing you physically, mentally, and emotionally, that you should get away from it, and get away from people who are indulging in the same things that you are trying to move away from. I know that you can't keep going to bars if you want to recover from alcoholism. But unless I'm mistaken, X, you are not a sex fiend, and literature, literature that is not pornographic in nature but rather fiction that contains sex, has never been known to drive people to want to fuck more. And even if it did, only 4 out of the 40-plus fics I've written for this fandom actually contain sex.
I don't understand, X.
Perhaps you could explain it to me, if you ever feel you are pure enough to withstand the temptations of my writing, and read this website without backsliding into sin, debauchery, and a life of hedonistic pleasure.