Hide and Seek (X-Files story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Hide and Seek
Author(s):	Spearmnt
Date(s):	1 August 1998 and 7 November 1998
Length:
Genre(s):	het
Fandom(s):	The X-Files
Relationship(s):
External Links:	initial posting of part one posted at The Annex (January 1999)
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Hide and Seek is a 1998 X-Files MSR story by Spearmnt (SpearmntXP).

cover by Michaela, from The Annex

The rating is NC-17.

"Mulder/Scully Romance. Fifth season (up until Folie a Deux). Scully's inexplicable and sudden departure forces Mulder to make a decision."

A 1999 Essay by the Author

In early 1999, the author posted a lengthy essay about writing this story at alt.tv.x-files.creative. The essay was also reposted in January 1999 at The Annex.

Excerpts from the essay:

"When I finished H&S in November, I wrote that I'd also complete an essay that discusses some of the issues I faced while writing it. I decided against writing that essay -- it's hard to talk about your own writing -- in favor of this, which will serve as the author's note for the newly archived H&S at the Annex..."

*Hide and Seek* began in August 1998 as a vignette, designed to answer a (so far) hypothetical question: how would Mulder react if Scully left, abruptly and without explanation? It became an out-of-control serial novel, spanning some 70 posts to the alt.tv.x-files.creative newsgroup between 1 August 1998 and 7 November 1998. The story attempted to explain the mytharc, brought Mulder and Scully together both romantically and carnally (if that's a word) and tried to make some observations about society in general (see below). H&S is a novel that admittedly became too ambitious in spots, and in some places, you can see the overstrained stitching.

H&S is my first fanfic; I've written some other non-XF fiction (none of it published) and am currently working on a novel (but isn't everybody?). It began as a writing exercise I performed one night to break a block. But after I finished the six-page piece, I realized I hadn't really explained *why* Scully was leaving. The answer to that was a four-page outline and, eventually, 390 more pages of manuscript.

I decided to begin writing H&S as a serial, for a couple reasons. The first is that I loved the format: every "episode" aimed to end with a cliffhanger, similar to the 1930s short serialized melodramas that brought you back to the theater next week to see what happened to the hero and the villain. The second was that it kicked me in the ass: I needed to keep writing in order to adhere to the schedule. (Finally, it also allowed me to cop out without writing the entire novel if I decided it wasn't going well.)

H&S is technically a case file, but in actuality, it's a story that explores whether the end justifies the means. This happens on the mytharc level: to what degree is genocide acceptable in order to prevent omnicide, the end of the human race? The show explores this in every mythology episode--how far is too far? In H&S, it also happens on a more personal level between Mulder and Scully. Both feel the need to sacrifice something incredibly dear to them in order to ensure the other's well-being (in my opinion, Scully's sacrifice is a little deeper than Mulder's, but you may believe differently).

In a tangential way, H&S also touches upon the future of warfare. One of the climactic scenes with the The Lone Gunmen shows how some believe a cataclysmic global conflict will be fought in as little as ten years: with men clacking away at keyboards instead of shooting each other with guns. The results, however, can be just as deadly, if not more so.

In most cases, I've tried to be as true to the characters as possible. The ironic problem with linking Mulder and Scully romantically is that as soon as they consummate the unresolved sexual tension that has helped shape their relationship over the past six years, they immediately fall out of character because we've never seen them in post-coital situations. I've tried to keep both true to form, although I think I did end up making them a little more flexible by design: allowing an ending where Mulder's a little more skeptical, while Scully's a little more open to extreme possibilities.

I have more fun writing Scully than Mulder, and sometimes that shows through. My girlfriend says I write like a girl (I'm mid-20s and male), and I think that's a compliment. But Mulder's internal POV tends to be very focused and one-track, kind of like the interminable monologues he sometimes delivers; I've tried to loosen him up a little inside. Scully, on the other hand, internalizes all her feelings; playing with her mind is like picking up a Rubik's Cube, twisting and turning it into a spectrum of emotions.

I like depicting CSM as a very complex villain; the best villains are the morally ambiguous ones, guys (and gals) who ooze evil let can still seem vulnerable. In this story, the CSM stands for another philosophical argument: can the devil love his children? We still don't know why CSM does what he does, but he must have a complicated reason. Wreaking havoc simply because he likes it makes him psychotic; doing it to follow someone's orders makes him an automaton. Both those are boring.

I have always felt my Skinner is too nice, and you may agree. I'm all for dark Skinner -- a character where you always wonder, whose side is he really on? I begin with dark Skinner and in the end… well, I cave in and make it clear where he stands.

The Lone Gunmen… I did take some liberties by introducing a Langly-Frohike byplay that's currently absent from the show (quite possibly because of its rude content). But these three remain a blast to put on paper. On the show, they serve as the tool through which Mulder and Scully can move along the plot: they provide the comic-relief-wrapped piece of data which allow M&S to move from plot twist A to plot twist B. I hope I've given them a little more dimension here.

As for the canon, because this story adhered so strongly to the mytharc, I tried to make sure the story doesn't contradict anything that happened on the show. (I was fortunate to have a few people catch some mistakes; see below.) I did make two conscious decisions to deviate. The first involved "Emily," when Mulder finds a fetus in a jar that bears Scully's name -- and hides this information (and, apparently, evidence) from his partner. Throughout a scene where M&S confess things to one another, this would've been an obvious candidate for Mulder's list of things he's done wrong. I voted to ignore it, however; I still can't figure out what this twist means, and trying to explain it would've driven the story off track. (Where is this fetus, anyway? Is he keeping it on a shelf someplace? I think this is a continuity error -- a la "I'm not a psychologist" -- waiting to happen.)

The second involved "The End," which introduces Diana Fowley and Gibson Praise. I initially didn't like Diana, and so decided to drop her from my story's universe by ending the spoilers at "Folie a Deux" (which preceded "The End"). Because H&S ended the day before Season Six resumed, I decided to introduce her at the very end to preserve some continuity (and since then, I like the growing storm, and eventual catfight, growing between Scully and Fowley on the show). Spender, however, I just hate; I've relegated him to a couple of side references (and one of my favorite scenes in H&S, where Skinner and the CSM discuss him).

I also left a few plot threads dangling, as challenges to myself (or others) for later. The whole concept of Rosetta DNA--and why the CSM and his scientists are trying to find the alien ruling caste--is a deliberately open-ended plot point, as is Krycek's final comment to Mulder in the Iraqi desert ("she will betray you"). Maybe at some point, a sequel might address these colonization issues.

There are several other hanging plot threads, but most of those were errors created by the pell-mell writing schedule of H&S. This version, archived in the Annex, has been retooled to fix some of the hanging plot threads as well as my own continuity errors and gaffes. There are no added scenes; I didn't have much time to write them, and in the end, decided they'd rupture the existing plot fabric anyway.

There are several people to thank for helping H&S during its birth:

To M., my other half. What began as a vignette exploded into a 400-page novel, and she tolerated its expansion. She also aided it by helping develop some key plot points and, above all, blasting stuff that she didn't like. I'm nothing without her. And she's a better writer than I am, to boot.

Next, to Jennifer Arthur ([email protected]), my Lone Gunman (Lone Gunwoman?), whose assistance in this endeavor has been immeasurable. Jen created and maintained the Web page (http://members.tripod.com/~XFileLuv/HideAndSeek.html) which made it much easier for everyone to keep track of these 71 episodes. And she always did so cheerfully, even for episodes that had (in her words) "a low smut level." Her feedback helped the story along at critical points.

Next, to Betsey Brunk ([email protected]), who knows the X-Files canon backward and forward, and fortunately helped me avoid revising X-Files history by accident. When I needed to know what color shirt Scully was wearing in a certain episode, Betsey knew (well, OK, not something as specific as that--c'mon, people!--but you know what I mean). All errors in canon are purely my fault.

Next, to all the Primal Screamers and Over-30-Philes, two fanfic groups who provided the necessary emotional support to continue with this unholy experiment. These two fanfic circles encouraged this nascent WIP; without their help, it probably would have never grown to the proportions it did.

Next, to the people that maintain these two wonderful resources: http://xcelpro.com/xfiles, an episode-transcription index that has proven invaluable, and Pellinor's Deep Background (http://www.astolat.demon.co.uk/index). Pellinor's Bible is the one 1013 *should* use.

Next, to CC and the girls and boys from 1013: sorry I took your characters for a test drive. But I let everyone know they were yours, and I thought they handled great. I don't think I scratched them.

And finally, to you, the Reader: thank you for taking a chance on a new author. This began as one scene, a number and a question mark, with no indication how long it would be or where it would go. And many of you tried it anyway. You've made it fun.

Many have asked what the next fanfic will be. I'm hoping I can jump-start by non-fanfic novel, and so I'm not sure if I'll write another X-Files one. I do have an idea, though, and may try to act on it in 1999. Be warned, though: the next story wouldn't be a sequel to H&S; it would ignore the sixth season; it wouldn't be a mythology story; and it'd be much darker.