Formula for Successfool Stf Story
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| Title: | Formula for Successfool Stf Story |
| Creator: | Ray Bradbury |
| Date(s): | Apr 1938 |
| Medium: | |
| Fandom: | Science Fiction |
| Topic: | Pro science fiction |
| External Links: | Hosted online; Imagination! #7 pg 15. |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Formula for Successfool Stf Story was a 1938 humor article by a 17-year-old Ray Bradbury, who was still in the fan circles of science fiction. It referenced several other fans of the time, including Forrest J Ackerman and Henry Kuttner, both regular contributors to the zine it was printed in.
It was printed in Ackerman's trademark simplified spelling, Ackermanese.
Text
Ingredients: 1 scientist well frayd, grayd & bent.About 60 yrs old, has invented some supercolossal machine that can warp time or destroy matter--take your choice.
Then add a gob of mathematical equations & problems, 100 large words such as ultraforrestjackermannerless & lagoobrious.
Then bring in a theory by the heels. Any theory will do.
The date should be around 2067 or 3098 AD (Ackerman's Demise). Then add a lovely dawter tor the professor to shoo out of the laboratory (business of twirling moustache & raising eyebrows as the mad genius raves: "It will revolutionize the world, it is Colossal!") Also a son for the scientist to work side by side with, forging thru the innermost secrets of Science with heads proudly bent in meditation.
Then bring in an athletic young reporter who has been summond from the city by a mysterious message something like this: "Dear Dick: Come at once. Great experiment. Has gotten away from me. Danger to the world. Hurry for G--'s sake! Your friend. Frank."
Let the lug solve the mystery immediately upon his arrival. Even tho he never had taken the higher mathematics he was a whiz at adding & subtracting as a kid...so let him solve the mystery that the prof, who has been searching for 60 yrs, has overlookt. This is what is called "human interest".
Then have the foul ffoot i-pusses arrive from Rigel, breathing poison! The scientist combats the incredible Monstrositys with artificial creatures of his own.
Go thot-variant:
Have earth fall to the moon-
have dinosaurs crawl over the hero's tummy-
let him rassle a lion as the earth cracks in 2 pieces..!
Then drag in a few dead bodys (preferably Forrest J Ackerman or such stuffs) & let them play the parts of ghouls (on 2d thot, HanKuttner would be better suited to such roles--the Ackermaniac may be reserved for characterizations requiring dead heads) endeavoring to endanger the Sweet Young Thing.
Have the sun explode or die.
Have the girl be very muscular: She can toss a "hind-end-oh-no” over her shoulder as the hero dances on the head of some dodo from Jupiter...
This is the end. Are you glad? Has this inspired you with an idea? If it has write it down (or up) & airmail it to the dead letter office with the side off a barnacle, a Pogo stick & a manhole & we shall instruct Santa Claus to bring you a composite picture of all famous science fiction writers.
Warning! The Karloffans among the kiddys will adore the foto...but keep it away from nervous adults! One glance will give your girlfriend a permanentwave!!