A Royal Pain

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Title:	A Royal Pain
Creator:	Nancy Duncan
Date(s):	October 1980
Medium:	print
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A Royal Pain is a 1980 article by Nancy Duncan.

It was printed in Against the Sith #9 and had the subtitle: Princess Leia—independent, intelligent, sophisticated, mature, witty? Take a second look.

Nancy and her sister, Tracy, were notorious for despising the character of Leia Organa. See: The AtS Virtue-Chart of Heroic Characters.

The topic was how nasty, petulant, self-centered, unpleasant, selfish, dishonest, immature, and generally terrible Leia Organa is; the article winds up with "Leia just isn't rewarding to watch. Is Leia popular? In the store the other day, I ran across a rack of SW/EMPIRE mimi-action figures. There were two Luke dolls left, four Han dolls, and twenty Leia dolls. I rest my case."

It includes the line: Leia isn't innocent, she's just childish. I just can't be on her side. She's too dumb."

Excerpts

The first time we see her in EMPIRE she is in the Hoth base control room looking very stern and in bad sorts. Han enters and tells General Rieeken he has to leave to remove the price on his head. General Rieeken replies: A DEATH MARK IS NOT AN EASY THING TO LIVE WITH. YOU'RE A GOOD FIGHTER, SOLO. I HATE TO LOSE YOU. This tells the audience that while Han's departure will deprive the Alliance of his services, they aren't going to condemn him for it. He's a volumteer and they understand. But with Leia it's no good and she is so angry she can barely be civil. Her cold, THAT'S RIGHT was rather extreme. If she just wanted to be formal and not overly friendly she could have said something like, "I'm sorry you have to leave, Han. Good luck." Han couldn't have complained about a lack of warmth, if he did he'd be overstepping. If he wanted more from her, then Leia would have every right to be impatient. But when Han says: DON'T GET ALL MUSHY ON ME, he seems offended, as any departing rebel would be. Leia started this fight and she will start all of them with Han throughout the film.

Is this a mistake to have Leia come off so self-centered and immature? I believe it is the writers' intention. Some lines that didn't make it into the film help to further illustrate this. Han tells Leia: ALL YOU THINK ABOUT IS THE REBELLION. THE RESULT IT YOU'RE AS COLD AS THIS PLANET. And, WE'LL MEET AGAIN. MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE GROWN UP A LITTLE BY THEN, Actually these and other lines of Han's which I will talk about are usually more than just his opinion, they are accurate perceptions of Leia's character.

Is Leia sophisticated? The hospital scene proves to me she isn't, and even that she is a bit dense. She knows Han is trying to get to her, but why does she let him get away with it? Leia has about two reactions to any of Han's remarks: Phoney logic or angry insult, and none of it witty. HAN: WELL, YOUR HIGHNESS, LOOKS LIKE YOU MANAGED TO KEEP ME AROUND A LITTLE WHILE LONGER. LEtA: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. GENERAL RIEE-KEN THINKS IT'S DANGEROUS FOR ANY SHIPS TO LEAVE THE SYSTEM UNTIL WE'VE ACTIVATED THE ENERGY FIELD. This is her logic response. But anyone who has been around Han for awhile should know this seriousness won't work. Han kids her but she can't kid back. Han also uses the third party play and talks to Luke and Chewie about her when he says: YOU DIDN'T SEE US ALONE IN THE SOUTH PASSAGE. SHE EXPRESSED HER TRUE FEELINGS FOR ME. Unfortunately, Leia lets Han and Luke see how much this silliness upsets her. LEIA: WHY YOU STUCK UP (pissed pause) HALF WITTED (pp) SCRUFFY LOOKING <pp) NERF HERDER! Tactic #2—flat out insults. She could have spoken to Luke about Han as Han spoke to Luke about her, something like, "He's right, Luke. I expressed my true feelings and told him where to get off. Look at him, he's just shattered." Then she'd have Luke on her side against Han. She only uses Luke by kissing him in a childish way that convinces nobody. Han wins this round, too.

Leia in fact, never really manages to put egg on Han's face, but Han's buried her in omelettes. The exchanges between Han and Leia are described by the creators as akin to those 1930's comedies. But frequently in those it is the woman who bests the man, and she lets you know she really loves the slob but she is sophisticated enough to have it on her terms. Leia never wins.

Leia is as ungrateful as ever. As the base is attacked, Han risks himself to rush down a treacherous corridor back to the control room to see Leia to safety. She says, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? Even if she doesn't like him, or doesn't want to show any 'feelings', she knows why he's there, to save her ass. Must she be so harsh? When their only hope of escape somewhat. But Leia has made a fool out of herself yet again. She's so phoney, and her problems with him being a scoundrel are now paper thin. I wonder why the writers always allow the man to win these arguments? At the same time they're telling us Leia is independ-dent and liberated, able to hold her own, etc. I say bull-pucky to that! Where's the evidence? She tells Han she likes nice men, but I wonder—is that because nice men don't talk back?

Only in the cockpit scene where Leia and Han discuss Lando and the next destination does Leia become less judgemental and more supportive. Look quick, it's the only scene in the entire film where she isn't down-grading or displaying a negative attutide. Although she's not exactly positive either. But she quickly reverts to her old haughtiness as soon as they reach Bespin. Even though they have gotten this far and are lucky to have found this refuge, Han for all his supposed cynicism, looks on the bright side. He is cautious about Lando (he tells Chewie to keep alert) but he is going to trust him. Han gives you hope; Leia makes you tense.

Leia is supposed to be courageous, idealistic and self-sacrificing for the Cause to liberate her fellow man against the oppressors. But she rarely, if ever, shows true heroism, she is forever being rescued by men all the while complaining about how they go about it. She never says thank you. The most she can give is a back-handed compliment like, YOU HAVE YOUR MOMENTS. NOT MANY OF THEM, BUT YOU DO HAVE THEM. If Leia thinks Han is doing all these stunts just to show off, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS TO IMPRESS ME, I think she's crazy. Han never boasts like he did in STAR WARS, so where does she get off thnking his motives are as low as personal pride? Jokes are fine, but Leia says nothing but jokes. (Unless her lines are supposed to be serious, in which case they're simply stupid). No one ever laughs at her lines; it is always Han's lines that get the laughs.

She never has an honest moment like the other characters, never shows she's really grateful. But what are her reasons for being so superior, so full of pride herself? Never left to her own devices, she has yet to prove herself.

If you're one of those who don't see any firm resolution to the "love triangle", then you're probably right. A lot of fans have found little commitment involved in the Han/Leia relationship. I think part of the reason for this is the largely inconsequential dialogue between the characters. The most substantial thing Han says to Leia is at the beginning in the Hoth base corridor. THAT'S NOT IT. YOU WANT ME TO STAY BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT ME. Does she? Han seems to think so. I thought this was going to lead to more confrontations between them where barriers are let down, honesty comes through, and a true understanding of one another takes place. But there is really nothing more. The kiss scene is just that. Han kisses Leia, period. Nothing important is said. MY HANDS ARE DIRTY. YOU'RE TREMBLING. THERE ARE NO SCOUNDRELS IN YOUR LIFE. I LIKE NICE MEN. I'M A NICE MAN. NO YOU'RE NOT. If Han and Leia are going to "discover each other", they'll still have to work on it after EMPIRE in REVENGE OF THE JEDI. But there is no guarantee Leia is committed, or even cares soley for Solo.

I wonder if Leia is George Lucas' idea of women. Or is it that he wanted to create a new type of character to break the traditional mold? But Leia, for all her loud-mouthing and stoic attitude, still remains a non-essential character in the stories. She could easily be written out of the EMPIRE story (Luke could have contacted Chewie with the Force). She's still the love interest, the object to be won, and the damsel in distress. It's not as if she leads any rescue missions or accomplishes anything on her own. Men still rescue her— or robots do. I wouldn't care if she was in the story for just these reasons, but I don't want to be told that liberated means stuck-up, half-witted, cold and immature. George Lucas said early on he wanted the princess to be tough. But must she be so tough she can't be human because she's female? She is tough (I'd call it cruel in some cases) but must she be tougher than the men? It's not as if Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford are super-tough macho types like Charles Bronson or Clint Eastwood. Luke and Han are boyishly charming and display a wide ranqe of emotions—including love (for one another and their friends) through actions and words. Are women in adventure stories supposed to be mean in order to be believable? But I never ran across and adventure story female heroine like Leia in or out of SF in any book, TV show, or film. But she does remind me of some villainesses. Many critics and fans complain of a lack of women in the STAR WARS SAGA. I doubt they would if Leia, although she is the only woman, held up her end and fulfilled expectations. She lacks; therefore, we feel the lack. What is wrong with a strong, heroic capable female character who is also not afraid to be gentle, kind, loving and friendly {like the heroes)?

Since Leia on nearly all counts fails to fit an heroic mold, I've come to the conclusion Leia just isn't a heroine. She was never meant to be! The writers only wanted her to be The Woman, the Antagonist, someone in there to give the heroes a hard time. In STAR WARS it was barely appreciated. In EMPIRE its almost a sin because both Luke and Han have enough enemies between them. Against Luke is Vader and the Qnperor, and against Han is Boba Fett, Jabba the Hut and also Vader. Do they—and the story— really need this other trivial conflict in the form of Princess Leia? Hardly. What is a heroine? Traditional or not, she is simply a female version of a hero. George Lucas had one early idea for STAR WARS where the Luke character was a girl. She could be Luke, only be female.

Luke, and probably Han, are alter egos of the creator Lucas, but Leia is not. She's no one's ego, for she has no conscience. It's impossible to identify with her and perhaps we aren't meant to. Most female fans identify with the heroes, anyway. If you find you can't get into Princess Leia, it isn't your prejudices, it's the writers'. The more objective I became about Leia, the less of a character she became for me. I had added a lot of things to her character that just weren't in evidence on screen. Fans would come up with excuses for her behavior (already feeling her behavior needed an excuse). Her planet blew up (yet she never showed evidence she was greatly affected). Or she was tortured (Han was, too, and remained rational). Or it's the War (but both he Luke and Han have suffered and they aren't anti-social). There would be Leia stories that gave er a conscience, for it was needed. There were the sentimantal "Alderaan Blew Up" poems, but they never ang true to me, because the movie Leia isn't sentimental. Every fanwriter had a different version of Leia because the movie Leia is too one-dimesional, a paper doll. She needs rounding out. Some wrote her noble and wise beyond her years. Some, sophisticated and worldy-wise . Some, cold and business-like, but with a conscious knowledge that she was sacrificing her humanity for the Cause. They gave her guilt. The movie Leia has no guilt—nor is she supposed to, I guess The writers don't really care about Leia enough to make her a real character of else they wouldn't let her come off so poorly in relation to the heroes. The men are allowed to show conscience and do deeds we'd like to emulate. No one could admire Leia's behavior or would want to be like her.

In all cases each character must choose between Right and Wrong. Lando begins as just a guy, then becomes a traitor, then a hero. Like Han in STAR WARS, who changed from mercenary to hero. No one is left to be non-committal—except Leia, who is on a side of her own. She isn't the heroes' companion, or friend exactly, nor is she a villain like Vader. She's just The Woman.

It is no wonder people feel STAR WARS could use more women. Perhaps what they really mean is that STAR WARS could use some heroines. Maybe we'll have one, better yet two, in REVENGE OF THE JEDI. Leia isn't right for an adventure story where characters must be simple and straightforward enough to be quickly understood. Once we see them in action, we can judge them—except Leia. She must forever be the enigma. Lando and Han must alter their thinking and allegiances, but we are never confused by them. Leia isn't right as a love interest for either Luke or Han. We can't believe she can be in love. Ideal girlfriends for the heroes would be female versions of that hero with variations. This is what fans do when they write Mary Sues (or female characters to go with the heroes). Luke's Lady should be noble, warm, kind, and understanding to be supportive of Luke. She should be open with her emotions as Luke is, but able to handle them most of the time. She should be young ar have a sense of purity and innocence to match Luke's, but maybe possessing a common sense he lacks to help him along. She would be romantic, as he is. (Traditionally, girlfriends are always younger than the heroes but wouldn't it be a novel idea if she was older than Luke? Why not? If one prefers to be untraditional, why be untraditional unpleasantly?) I feel Han is far too old for Leia, although she appears matronly at times Han needs someone who is wiser than he is at times, not reckless, passionate and fun-loving.

Well, you see, ever since EMPIRE, I have this strong urge to fix the heroes up romantically as an assurance. EMPIRE symbolically emasculates the heroes. Han lost his blaster (phallic symbol) to Vader and became helpless, tortured and frozen. Luke also lost his light-sabre (phallic symbol) along with his hand which was cut from his body. Plus his masculine identity with his father was ripped away. So, Luke and Han are in need, you see, and Leia isn't the right medicine (although she's a pill). I believe STAR WARS heroines (although I doubt there will be any, or that Leia will change) would be immensely popular. As long as they were characters in their own right, I'd not complain if they were rewards for the heroes. The heroes would be rewards for them, too! Leia just isn't rewarding to watch.