"...or is it because you love her too?"

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Title:	"...or is it because you love her too?"
Creator:	youcallitwinter
Date(s):	15 JULY 2011
Medium:	online
Fandom:	The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Topic:	Stefan Salvatore and Damon Salvatore
External Links:	http://youcallitwinter.livejournal.com/32890.html
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"...or is it because you love her too?" is an analysis by youcallitwinter focusing about the dynamic and the relationship between Stefan Salvatore and Damon Salvatore.

Excerpts

Family’ is probably the most obvious running trope throughout the Vampire Diaries, and I think it’s most explicitly expounded through Damon and Stefan’s relationship, simply because they’re so oblivious to the working of the family ties. It’s not as obvious as “I’ll die to save you” or whatever the other characters are all up to (except Caroline, who shares such a realistic dynamic with her mother that it's a delight to watch. And also because she's Caroline; she can’t help being awesome in every department). Although the outward snarky, more-than-slightly bitter conversations between Stefan and Damon remain the same, there is such a distinct change in actions that there are times when I wonder whether their whole history had been panned out before the initial episodes; the rather cryptic insinuations about Damon's past by Stefan seems rather odd in the light of the revelations about his past (or his "I've always been the good brother"). Or maybe it was for shock value, to raise him that much higher, so he could fall that much harder (I'm pretty sure Julie Plec said something like that in a recent interview).

In the earlier episodes, the family 'ties' seem to gag more than they binded. Their relationship, as influenced by Katherine's presence, continued in the same rut over the next century. This is made explicit by the fact that it doesn't seem as if Katherine compelled their feelings for her-- she's said as much to both, and that neither denied it seems to be something close to a confirmation since they would remember the compulsion after transition, so. Damon is projected as being antagonistic towards Stefan not because he forced him to drink blood to complete his transition or even what he considers Stefan's betrayal of Katherine, but rather because he couldn't stand the thought that Katherine could have cared enough for Stefan to want to turn him as well; he wanted to be enough for Katherine (ironic really, from later developments; he was obviously the collateral). And Stefan too “didn’t care” that he was 'stealing' the girl that his brother was in love with, because he wanted her badly enough to overlook all else. They chose their attitudes, their paths, their feelings towards each other; wherein choice is set in contrast to being compelled. (Definitely contestable)

However, their initial relationship, depicted in those far-too-few moments when Katherine had newly arrived at the Estate, has a definite impact on their relationship in the real-time action of the show. For instance, I find it very fascinating that Stefan seems so insecure about Elena's love, although we all know that throughout the second season Elena has repeated endless versions of 'it will always only be Stefan' an uncountable number of times. Stefan’s insecurities are all the more intriguing at the level of the plot because it does seem as if all the women seem to prefer him, and yet he's never certain of his own standing. I genuinely think this attitude stems from his childhood relationship with Damon. The difference in their ages, Damon's stint as a Confederate soldier, not to mention his inherent magnetism probably made Stefan stay a little in awe of his older brother. In the same vein, it's not difficult to see why the jaded, cynical Katherine chose Stefan over Damon; his helpless devotion probably appealed to her more than Damon's slightly practiced air of seduction. Stefan reminded her of who she used to be (although paradoxically she exploits that very aspect of him, his innocence, Katherine finds it very hard not to break things). Stefan's awe might have translated into something else entirely over the course of time, but his reactions remain the same; he feels about Damon what analogously Caroline feels about Elena (which is amusing in so far as that Stefan is always the 'first choice', while the lack of that in Caroline's situation is exactly where her contention with her best friend lies); that somehow, for some reason, he's better. That there's something about him which will make it possible for Elena to fall in love with him, regardless of all the things he's done around/to her. And Stefan can really never rid himself of this notion. He seems to know that Elena’s attracted to Damon (which, let's face it, she is, although I really don't believe she's in love with him yet) and it's constantly reiterated through the episodes. Even Elena knows about it, which was the explicit reason for that very exhibitionist kiss in front of Damon in Bad Moon Rising.

In my opinion, the most interesting part of the whole Stefan/Elena/Damon dynamic is that conversation between Caroline and Stefan, wherein Elena'd gone to meet Katherine and Stefan asks "she's with Damon, isn't she." Because that wasn't a question at all. He states it. And more importantly, he states it not with any sort of violent/anguished reaction but with something close to resignation. In the 'it was always going to happen sooner or later. Except it happened sooner than later' sort of way. And why I found it interesting was because it didn't seem to me, at least at that moment, that he was going to 'fight' for Elena with his brother. It seemed if Elena ever "chose" Damon of her own accord, Stefan would actually just step aside and let them be. Which is why I also think that if Damon and Elena actually hook up in the next season (which I’m not sure about at all), then Stefan would not actually consider it a betrayal, in fact, he’d probably want it because he would no longer trust himself to not hurt Elena; his major objection to Damon with Elena.

In Miss Mystic Falls it was Damon who defended Stefan during his first bloodlust phase. He rationalized the actions for Elena, constructing Stefan as a victim—someone who had been resisting his nature since so long that he was bound to feel the effects as that much stronger. And it's important to remember that at that moment, Elena had been disillusioned; in her mind, Stefan’s uncontrollable blood-holism had placed him categorically within the ranks of Every Vampire Ever, instead of the heroic, self-denying figure that he usually presented. Damon could’ve played on it if he’d wanted, made it seem like Stefan was a hypocrite for his usual stance of outraged morality at the nature of Vampiric existence. He didn’t.

Similarly, Stefan constantly feels like Damon is a threat to his relationship, but the times he had the opportunity to influence Elena against him, he supported him instead. After Damon snapped Jeremy’s neck, it was Stefan who first suggested that the only reason he’d done it was because he’d seen the ring and knew what it was for— a justification that was proved wrong, but was a justification nonetheless. Correspondingly, although they had a major altercation after the scene in which Damon forces Elena to drink his blood, again, it was Stefan who later told her that Damon was in love with her and couldn’t bear the thought of having to live without her—a claim that, if accepted by Elena, would reflect negatively on Stefan's passivity in the matter.