Twenty-Seven Grilled Bards and One Reviewer: Katrina
| Interviews by Fans | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Twenty-Seven Grilled Bards and One Reviewer: Katrina |
| Interviewer: | |
| Interviewee: | Katrina |
| Date(s): | August 11, 1998 |
| Medium: | online |
| Fandom(s): | Xena: Warrior Princess |
| External Links: | full interview is here, Archived version |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Twenty-Seven Grilled Bards and One Reviewer: Katrina is a 1998 Xena: Warrior Princess fan interview at Whoosh!.
Series
For others in this series, see Whoosh! Interview Series.
Some Excerpts
We all have those moments of creative choices and serendipity. My mom was the one who introduced me to Xena: Warrior Princess. She said, "You'll like it." I didn't think I would. She was right. She was beyond right. I loved it.
I started searching the web for signs of internet life, and found lots of Xena stuff going on. I joined Xena's Campfire Girls (XCG, a list for subtext positive persons) just before it closed to the world. I was fortunate. The first thing I noticed was the fanfic. I'd never read fanfic before. It was... eye opening and quite delightful. I figured, I gotta try this. Well, as things happen, around that time I started putting up my web pages. I was very excited about it. The campus let us use their server and the policy said to be careful, but put what you want online.
I experienced a real strong stylistic change when I found out that someone was trying to censor my web pages. I thought, "Censor?!! You can Censor this!!!!" and started writing more intensely, graphically and including sex. I thought I'd try to give them something to censor. What I found was that I had my own censor in my head and I realized that censor had no place in my creativity. I decided that my purpose in writing, drawing, whatever, was to push the boundaries, to push mine. I figured that was the service I could give to the world. Honesty. Ironically, the person had only been attacking my poetry (the one about bisexuality. It was a fairly innocent piece). I hadn't even started to post my stories to the web pages. But afterwards I thought, I can't be dishonest about myself. Not on any level. So I started posting the Xenafic. Wisest decision I ever made. Life-changing Warlord Daze would have never happened without that anonymous phone call.
There's been a lot of talk about how TPTB could "improve," XWP and everyone throws formulas out, but in my opinion, I think the simplest thing they could do is to go out and buy a bunch of lesbian and het romances and read them and look at what appeals. Not the rape scenarios, though I guess we got that already, but the love pushing past the barriers. And the TPTB need think of who their audience is. It's not the teenage boys or even the children who want to be superheroes, it's the adventurous romantics, the one's who are watching for "true love" to overcome all. It's the womenfolk, and the men-folk, who recognize the Xena/Gabrielle dynamic for what it is: that of a functioning loving (sometimes arguing) equally powerful couple trying to make it against the odds and succeeding.
I have friends...lovers...because of this show. I've come out from huge closets to more people because of this show. I'm more spiritual now, but at the same time I'm also a bit more cynical. I observe more because now I know there is more to see. I've approached and moved beyond a great fear, because of this show. That fear of being alone has been replaced by confidence and faith in my humanity. There are treasures innumerable. I can't even place a value on it because the experience has been too important. It wasn't a case of "if Xena can do it I can," but rather, "Today I'll find my courage, because I know it's there and I have people who love me for the whole of me." I've become familiar with genuine creative successes because of this show. The show gave me my honesty back, my creativity.XWP teaches courage in expression. I like the ease with which the characters touch and laugh and cry and live. XWP teaches the Buddha thought of, "Everyday is a new day. It's what you do today that counts." Very zen very true. Today I will do something that counts. Today I will change my world. Today I will live my life by my own terms....
Some days I do better than others, but always I hear it in me; my response to the show. I will choose to live and be and do and Love as bravely as I can. Maybe that's it. Maybe it is a simple bravery, a belief in the possible. True love is possible and can be found. True love overcomes. That's a pretty solid and valuable message, no matter what the gender and manner of the love.
Fan fic started out as a response for me, but it became something deeper, a place to explore. I push words around like paint, trying to see if it works or not, if it heightens shadow, or lightens a mood or simply turns me on. I put it out because some people might like it too.
I'm awfully happy when they do.