The Naughty Bits (multimedia zine)

You may be looking for Naughty Bits, a Star Trek: TOS zine.

Zine
Title:	The Naughty Bits
Publisher:	Bandersnatch Press
Editor(s):	Jeff Morris
Date(s):	1989-1990
Series?:
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	multimedia
Language:	English
External Links:
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The Naughty Bits is an adult het anthology.

From Zine Scene: "The adult, no-slash zine your mother warned you about!"

A Submission Request

From a flyer in Blake's Doubles #2:

THE NAUGHTY BITS -- an adult zine with DOCTOR WHO, BLAKES 7, and BUCKAROO BANZAI as main focus-but other genres will be considered. No slash, please-it makes my Great Dane hiccup. Anticipated publication date is Spring/Summer 1989. I'm looking for stories and art that are unusual, slightly off the beaten track. Angst, humor, Delta-bashing-you name it, I want it! When submitting stories and art, please send copies, not originals, as we all know what lurks within the bowels of the U.S. Postal Service. I also ask that all written submissions be typed-my wife, who is an RN, can read anyone's handwriting, but I am not so fortunate.

Issue 1

cover of issue #1

The Naughty Bits 1 was published in February 1989 and contains 129 pages.

The art is by Malefica Blue, Cheryl Duval, and Lisa Conner. The editor is "Some anonymous person ashamed to use his true name." The typing was done by "Another ashamed, anonymous person." The proofreading is by "Vila the Wonder Dane."

a flyer for issue #1

The flyer has this statement: "YOU MUST INCLUDE A SIGNED STATEMENT THAT YOU ARE OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE WITH YOUR ORDER. After all, we don't want Ed Meese panting at our door."

• The Obligatory Editor's Page (2)
• The Sucky Adult Zine Writer's Pledge by Lisa Savigano (3)
• Fire and Ice by Madelyn Darring ("After a long, hard day of rabble-rousing, Soolin and Avon find that a good long shower can get pretty hot!") (Blake's 7) (4)
• Addicted to Love by Lady Whorfin ("Someone's out to get Perfect Tommy, and isn't above trying an old Japanese passion potion to do it,but what happens when the wrong people get on the receiving end?") (8)
• A Letter from Sarah Jane Smith by Tom K. Giza (18)
• The Hershey Treatment by Malefica Blue (""But the ice cream was essential, Cally...'") (Blake's 7) (19)
• The Night Shift by L.J. Worfin (27)
• Moongazing by Lady Adastra ("When Jo wears a mini-skirt to work, the Doctor finds himself viewing a true "heavenly body!"") (Doctor Who) (32)
• Dirty Diversions by Mal O'Dar ("Immortality has its problems- Just ask Dorian. When you've tried literally everything, what can keep your interest? Perhaps a cold, beautiful woman who also happens to be the fastest draw around?") (Blake's 7) (34)
• The Effects of Lectroid Ionization on Human Fertility by Mary Morris/L.J. Worfin (Buckaroo Banzai) (44)
• The Intergalactic Bordello by Eric Hoffman ("Ever wonder how the Master manages to finance all his various takeover schemes, or where he runs off to between episodes? Wonder no more, as the Doctor and Peri discover the hottest cross-universe intersection point!") (Doctor Who) (46)
• What Are Friends For? by Leah Rosenthal & Ann Wortham ("Yet another short story. This one takes place immediately after the episode "Rumours of Death." Avon is feeling very sorry for himself and Vila attempts to help him out. Sure enough, someone just HAD to bend the "no slash" rule...Avon has had enough of life, and tells Vila to do "whatever he wants" to him...famous last words...") (Blake's 7) (60)
• The Euphio Effect by L.J. Whorfin (63)
• The Saga of Electric Blue by Lisa Savignano ("A young woman wandering aimlessly through life finds purpose and love at the Banzai Institute.") (Buckaroo Banzai) (67)
• The Lady with a Whip by Malafica Blue (77)
• The Dirty Doctor Sketch by Tom K. Giza ("The Fifth Doctor gets zapped with Kontron energy, which gives him an irresistible attraction for the "finer" things in life.") (Doctor Who) (78)
• Frog by Kevin Decker ("When Elizabeth receives a marriage proposal from the King of France, Lord Edmund Blackadder winds up escorting her... and ends up in the middle of an assassination conspiracy.") (Blackadder) (83)
• Nobody's Business by Atlanta Lea ("When Harry and Sarah are forced to "perform" on behalf of an alien culture, their relationship undergoes a radical, painful change.") (103)

• 

  from issue #1, art by Lisa Conner

• 

  from issue #1

Issue 2

cover of issue #2

The Naughty Bits 2 has the subtitle, "More Naughty Bits." It was published in 1990.

flyer for issue #2

The art is by Karen River, Christoper Cook, Platypus, Melissa Mastoris, Julia Jay, Adrian Morgan, Precosia Von Drago, Nora Mai, "La Belle Femme," Jillian Courtenay, "Kandi," and Pacer McCoy.

From Zine Scene: "It's baaack, with more stories and still no slash!"

From a flyer: "The zine your mother warned you about is back."

• Temporal Discordance by Pat Jacquerie ("Two B7 fans at a Chicago con exit an elevator and find themselves wondering 'how much is that Alpha in the auction? The one with the leather and studs'.") (Blake's 7)
• Landslide, fiction by Maggie Farmer ("Avon's last night with Anna Grant.") (Blake's 7)
• Set Up by Ann Wortham & Leah Rosenthal ("Another short story wherein a determined Jenna pursues her man... "A twisted story.") (Blake's 7)
• Dark Eyes, fiction by Maggie Farmer (Blake's 7)
• A Hard Lesson, fiction by Anne Collins Smith (Blake's 7/Doctor Who)

• Mating Call, poem Jillian Courtenay (Blake's 7)
• In Defense of Kerr Avon, poem by Jillian Courtenay (Blake's 7)
• Jenna's Dream, poem by Kandi (Blake's 7)

• Tower Paradise, fiction by Tom K. Giza ("The Doctor and Mel return to Paradise Towers for a visit, and get caught in a battler between the Red and Blue Kangs to see who can out-'how-you-do" whom and then there's Pex's twin brother.") (Doctor Who)
• Halloween Story, fiction by Lisa Sevignano ("Romance and mystery surround the Banzai Institute's annual Halloween Party.") (Buckaroo Banzai)
• Hi Diddle Dee Dee, fiction (A Giggolo's The Life for Me!) by Anne Collins Smith ("Worf hasn't been getting any action, which puts the Enterprise in grave danger. So Picard sends him to the one place where there's something for everyone -- the Intergalactic-Interdimensional Bordello!") (Star Trek: TNG, possibly a crossover with Buckaroo Banzai)
• Child of the Night, fiction by Jeff Morris ("The Fifth Doctor is transformed into a vampire... and searches desperately for a cure along with his two, warm-blooded companions.") (Doctor Who)
• The Survey, fiction by Jeff Morris ("The Fifth Doctor discovers to his horror what Nyssa's been doing in her spare time on the TARDIS!") (Doctor Who)
• Unexpected Diversions, fiction by Lisa Conner ("A more adult section of the "Eirwyn's Uncle" saga, where a chance "one time stand" for the Doctor forces him to discuss the facts of life to his young companion.") (Doctor Who)
• In a Little Spanish Town, fiction by Eric Hoffman ("An alternative ending to the Two Doctors, where Peri and Jamie go exploring.") (Doctor Who)
• The Wedding Present, fiction by Lady Whofin/Mary Morris ("Mrs. Johnson and the ladies of the Banzai Institute have had enough of Hanoi Xan and the World Crime League.") (Buckaroo Banzai)
• Lessons, fiction by Lisa Saviganno ("Electric Blue discovers a few things about male/female relationships both first and second hand at the Banzi Institute") (Buckaroo Banzai)
• Slime and the Rain, fiction by Vivian Arha ("Peri borrows a Gallifreyan aphrodisiac from the Rani's TARDIS 'just to see what happens...'") (Doctor Who)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

The plot: Liz Sharpe and Pat Nussman are mysteriously transported from Chicago to Domo and outbid Servalan for Avon, and Pat gets to sleep with him — no explicit details, though! In general I find this kind of self-conscious story very witty and enjoyable, though I've also seen some that I didn't like - example: The Visitors by Mary Moulden, in Alternative Seven #7).