Surrender (Star Trek: TOS story)

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Surrender
Author(s):	Killashandra
Date(s):	1997
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
External Links:
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Surrender was posted to alt.startrek.creative in 1997, the first part on (April 23 and the last part on May 7).

The story's dubcon elements sparked newsgroup discussion about exactly what was going on, whether it was okay, and in the case of one specific poster whether you should comment on a story you hadn't finished reading.

There are two, and perhaps three, different versions of this story.

Summaries

The Captain has been through a rough time, and needs someone else to take the reins for a while. This story contains dominance/submission in a consensual relationship, but the lines of consent are deliberately blurred. Originally posted in 1997.

Online

alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated

• part 1 (spring 1997)
• part 2 (spring 1997)
• 3? (spring 1997)
• part 4 (spring 1997)
• 5? (spring 1997)
• part 6 (spring 1997)
• part 7 (spring 1997)

• part 1 (December 1997)
• part 2 (December 1997)
• part 3 (December 1997)
• part 4 (December 1997)
• part 5 (December 1997)
• part 6 (December 1997)
• part 7 (December 1997)

The Kirk/Spock Fanfiction Archive

Surrender at The Kirk/Spock Fanfiction Archive

Archive of Our Own

Surrender at AO3

Different Versions

There are two, and perhaps three, different versions of this story.

Two versions were posted to alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated in 1997. One April 23-May 7 and one in December 1997.

From the author on what appears to be the second posting to alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:

This is an original work of amateur fiction based on Star Trek. It is not intended to infringe on the intellectual property rights of Paramount, Viacom or other owners of copyright in Star Trek. The copyright extends only to the original material in this work, and the rest belongs to them. This story portrays explicit sex between two men. If such things offend you or you're under 18, READ NO FURTHER! Also, this story is a little bit rougher than my usual, so be warned. It is written out of my own convictions and my own feelings about trust, about submission and control. This is not a story about force. But if you have difficulty with the concept of dominance and submission as a plausible dynamic in a loving, trusting relationship, this story is not for you. Some alterations have been made to this story since its original posting, but not enough to call it "revised," I think.

From a 1998 fan discussion:

Did you read the newer version of "Surrender," which Killa reposted a few months ago, or the older? The only changes I noticed in the newer version were a few small additions to make it crystal clear that Spock *knew* all this stuff. (I can't remember exactly, but I don't think the line about Vulcan intuition was in the older version. I may be wrong about that, though.) Actually, I preferred the older and I'm still not sure why, but I think it's mainly because I liked Kirk & Spock knowing this stuff about each other and not having to spell it all out. And I

didn't feel it was at all ambiguous, but I gather that many people read this as a "rape and the victim likes it" story.

The version posted to Archive of Our Own mentions "alterations" but it is not clear if these are alterations to the first version or the second version:

This is not a story about force. But there is some dub-con, and if you have difficulty with the concept of dominance and submission as a plausible dynamic in a loving, trusting relationship, this story might not for you. Some alterations have been made to this story since its original posting.

Author's Comments in 1997

Ooh, I really opened up a can o worms here, didn't I? I could go on all day responding to the posts about whether or not it's "normal" or "healthy" to engage in bondage, S&M, or other kinds of sexual practices that might be considered outside the norm. I want to keep this reasonably short though, so let me just say a couple things in that regard. First off, in my opinion, getting turned on by having a lover you trust tie you up or control you (or the reverse) has *absolutely nothing* to do with rape. Rape fantasies are something else, something I cannot speak about with any authority or real understanding... but I *do* know that rape is not at all what my story is about. Bondage and dominance/submission are (at least for me) about love and trust. It is about loving someone enough to take responsibility for them utterly, even their body, even their pleasure. It's about trusting someone enough to let go and allow that act of love. Second, in the particular case of this story, I believe I showed in the first chapter that Spock had become linked to Kirk as a result of pon farr. In the second chapter, Spock asks Kirk to trust him, and Kirk gives him that trust, unconditionally. In the third chapter, I specifically stated that if Spock had sensed any resistance at all from Kirk, *he would have stopped.* Spock is a touch telepath in direct contact with a man he has been close to for years, a man he is now linked to. I specifically wrote this story because I thought, wow, wouldn't it be incredible to have these needs that are sometimes so hard to talk about, and have this person who *knows* what we need, who loves us enough to provide for those needs, *no matter what they are?* If I failed to communicate this, perhaps my writing is not getting across all that I hoped....I have a huge respect for anyone with the strength and courage to trust another person to take complete control of them in any situation. It is a tremendously difficult thing. In a dominant/submissive relationship, it is the one who submits who must display greater strength. That first time, it can be tremendously difficult to let go, even if the desire and the need to do so is very great. As for no meaning no, I feel that I made it very clear, in several different ways, that Spock *knew* no did not mean no. Further, that he *knew* Kirk needed to let go, desperately, and that he could not do so without help, and further still that if he had not been 100% certain, at any point, he would have stopped. And yeah, I guess they could have sat around discussing it for a while before Spock actually did anything about it, but that's not how I see things happening. Kirk is wound so tight when he first appears in this story that I cannot see him rationally discussing anything even close to what ends up happening between them. When Spock does try to talk with him, Kirk closes up tight. Spock reacts to this at the end of chapter 2, when he takes control of the situation. And since Kirk responds to that approach--actions rather than words--he sticks with it. Logical, wouldn't you say?

Reactions and Reviews Regarding the Original Posting: alt.startrek.creative

Story that nearly persuaded me to change my approach to smuttish activities: Killa's "Surrender," which *almost* persuaded me that being tied up is fun. A hell of a story even if you're not a bondage baby.

Having survived the ritual combat of the khalifee, Spock is haunted by unforeseen repercussions of the conflict. Captain Kirk himself has withdrawn, battered by a series of losses and crises. Spock must find some way to get through to his Captain, by whatever means necessary. The result is a dance of wills, with Spock in control, and Kirk both reluctant, yet incapable of doing other than following Spock's lead. A powerful story of two men, one, a man whose life is built on his ability to command, who has reached a point of such total and rigid self-control that he can't find release for fear of losing himself utterly; and the second a man who has always followed, who works to force that release for the very survival of the first man, providing a safe place and means for his release. In the end, both men are freed.

I found this story to be powerful and overwhelming, as well as stomach churningly, knuckle-bitingly erotic. Moments and phrases continue to haunt me, in a delightful way. The odd bits of humor only add to the richness of the piece. The sensuous use of language, the rich, erotic descriptions of two men coming to terms with their own and each others needs, combined with a complex reading of a Vulcan quite logically contemplating the certainty of his own madness, and a very human captain coming to terms with his own need to be released from control, create a panoply of emotion and sensation.

When first posted on ASC, this story occasioned quite a debate as to whether the "surrender" of the title was in fact voluntary, or coerced. I am quite emphatic in backing the former interpretation, but after a dozen or more readings, I know exactly where the uneasy feeling lies that there is coercion going on.

For me, this was overcome in part by the assumption that regardless of his own desires, Spock ultimately wants what is best for his captain and friend; and, as well, by an assumption that his knowledge of Kirk is such as to allow him to push only as far as Kirk needs to be pushed. If Kirk truly desired it, Spock would stop, no matter the cost to himself. As usual, it is the small details of Killa's fiction that undo me utterly; the mention of a "white cotton [robe] steaming faintly with the damp heat of his body", the description of a look on Spock's face when confronted with his own desires.

And, as always, Killa's characterizations are wonderful, such that I can see and hear them, vividly...and if *that* doesn't make your heart go whumpitty... And I adore the priceless, touching story of why Spock calls Kirk James, instead of Jim....

People see the word submissive (and the word surrender for that matter) and think "weakness," and don't realize that subs are often people with a lot of responsibilities and are also often control freaks with the image of self-reliance. That's why it's hard for them to let go, and why, when they find someone they trust and who helps them let go, it's such a rewarding experience. It's the same reasoning I use for writing Picard as a sub, because he fits one of the "profiles" (even more than Kirk, IMO; johnny's more repressed). I want to talk about the dynamics of domination/submission, but first I want to explain something. Alara said she found the sex in "Surrender" hot, while she finds the sex in my "At the Center of Things" hard to even read, and I'm not surprised. There is a world of difference between domination/submission and sadism/masochism (I won't even get into the third term of bdsm; bondage/discipline). The former is largely about one partner taking control, while the latter involves one partner inflicting eroticized pain on another (this is IMO only, my kinky mailing list debates this one all the time). There is (as you can imagine) a lot of gray area in between the two (D/S can involve some S/M, and S/M often involves D/S), but Killa's story is about DS without any real S/M going on, or any of the more formalized ritual behavior that goes on in some D/S relationships (the whole master/slave dynamic that I write about). The dynamics of D/S aren't nearly as one-sided as they first appear. Yes, one person controls, but the other person defines the control. To use Killa's story as an example, when Kirk's handcuffed to the mesh barrier (oh those mesh barriers; decorative, yet functional ;-) ) and he wants something different, he gets something different. True he has to *ask* for it, but that's the pattern. He asks for and then he gets what *he* wants. The bit at the end, where Spock is admitting that what he really enjoyed wasn't so much the control as it was making Kirk feel good, is something that's often true about these games. And one of the reasons I'd like to see a sequel is that they're going to have to deal with that dynamic. A sub *can* control the whole scene if they know their dom well enough. In fact, Killa has Kirk already doing that by making smart-assed comments and waiting for a reaction and I suspect that that would be a part of it with these two. Kirk's always been a lot more subtle about trying to get an emotional reaction from Spock than McCoy is, but I'd be willing to bet that he'd push it, just to be told to shut up (in bdsm circles, this is known as being a SAM or a Smart-Assed Masochist; some people think it's bad form, others don't). But in the end, he gets what he wants. Until the very end of the story I was actually worried that things were a bit too one-sided (with Kirk having all the fun), but Killa dealt with that very well. I'd actually recommend "Surrender" as a good example of how the dynamic works and how it isn't one-sided. I think Killa got it down just fine. :-)

T'Rhys, I disagree with you in the premise of your conclusion of the story, in that you say that Kirk secretly *did not* want to be dominated. If we stick to the episodes/movies, there are countless examples wherein Kirk, the anal-retentive control-freak that he is, does defer to Spock's greater handle on a given situation. And I've noticed that he experiences an enormous amount of freedom in this behaviour. It's borne out by episodes like City on the Edge of Forever - I doubt anybody other than Spock would have been able to get through to Kirk in that situation. We can debate this till we are all blue in the face but Edith's death should have been a crippling blow to Kirk's ability to function with any semblance of normality. Projecting some of the responsibility to Spock was, IMO, a way out. When, in Surrender, Killa has Kirk feel something akin to this - ("the need to tell someone, tell *this* man, was overwhelming" - I am paraphrasing) - it rang true to me. In many ways, this relationship IS very one-sided. As a person with an enormous amount of responsibility to bear, Kirk's only channel of release IS through Spock. Whether or not he is able to *acknowledge" that need is the question that Killa addresses in Surrender. Also, Kirk's ability at self-deception is a critical (and, I grant you, lovable) part of his character - something Spock is eminently aware of with or without touch-telepathy. You don't work/interact with someone closely and for such a long time, as these two have, without getting to know their defense mechanisms. To be able to be "in command" enough to get through the smokescreens (ala those smart-ass comments and the tight-lipped silence) takes a certain amount of familiarity. Don't you think that is a given here?

Reading this discussion, I have the uncanny feeling that we are not all responding to the same story. So I want to ask: What is "Surrender," that different readers seem to see such different things in it? The comments here seem to be discussing at least three different types of narratives: (1) a story of consensual B&D between two persons in a committed relationship; (2) the fantasy of forced sex within the consensual bd scenario; (3) the fantasy of forced sex as something that "really happened," in much the same way that the "bodice-rippers" of women's romance fiction typically show the characters beginning their loving relationship with an act of forced sex, for reasons that seem to make sense within the context of the story. For purposes of this discussion, I'm focusing on what readers have reported they see in the story, but I don't mean, at all, to suggest that we should not honor the author's intent... Several contributors to this discussion have argued, persuasively, that this is a story of a loving experience of bd that Kirk entered into voluntarily. Speaking personally, I can accept and enjoy K/S fantasies (ours or theirs) about dominance, submission and power games. Some of my favorite writers of K/S fiction in zines have written extremely powerful fiction that explores these themes. I believe that a profound love relationship, such as I think Kirk and Spock have, opens the person to love in *all* its manifestations. I believe that eros and romance occupy only a small corner of the full spectrum of love, and that love engages parts of the human (and presumably the Vulcan) psyche that are deeper and darker than the aspects of love that typically are explored in romantic fiction. Complete love between two persons also engages the highest and most divine aspects of our selves. The point is that when we commit to complete intimacy with another person and to loving that person with all our souls, we open ourselves to love in all its forms.

As always, a most welcome addition to K/S. Killa, your most wonderful and unique voice is so easy to fall into again. These are visions of the characters that are so real and well drawn, it is like coming home again to read another of your stories. My only and everlasting complaint....I wanted more tonight! <g> One of many, I suspect, impatient fans.

I wonder, am I the only person how is disturbed by this story (and not pleasantly either)? Here we have a physically stronger being forcing sex on someone physically weaker who has said he doesn't want it but is being forced anyway, "because he wants it really" and "it's for his own good".

This strikes me as nauseating - if this were a man and a woman, many of us here would be outraged. We would say (and be right to say) that "no means no".

Nor am I impressed by the argument that this is only fantasy, if we are not aiming for emotional truth when we write, why do we bother?

Now it may be that I am doing the author a diservice - perhaps later eps will show Spock's remorse at forcing himself on his captain and the abandonment of vulcan ethics that it entailed. But I fear that we are meant to approve of what is, so far as I can see an assault on a man who is already at the end of his tether.

So far only parts 1-3 have shown up here - I really don't want to read any more unless someone can assure me that either the assault is not pressed to a conclusion or that Spock is devasted when he realises how badly he has abused both friendship and trust.

I had been looking forward to this story - I cannot say how disappointed I was.

Frankie, I do see what troubles you in the story, and I am not entirely undisturbed by it myself. However, on consideration, it seems to me that the main point here is that there is, in fact, an "out" which prevents this b&d from being nonconsensual. Yes, it's a very tricky business, but the fact is that there's telepathy going on here -- and, in the immortal words of Ceclia Tan, "telepaths don't need safewords."

The SF premise which we are being asked to accept is that one person _can_, in fact, know when no _doesn't_ mean no coming from another, and when somebody really _does_ "want it." This could, obviously, be both tricky and dangerous to try to justify IRL. But we're _not_ talking about RL -- we're talking about an imaginary universe, and in that universe telepathy offers the plot possibility which Killa is exploiting here: 'nonconsensual' b&d which is, in fact, consensual.

Please don't try to extrapolate from this to real-life political or personal situations. I remind you that this is in fact SF, and the telepathy part _is_ a fantasy element whose importance to the scenario cannot be overestimated.

As for the "emotional truths," I think that they lie at the center of the narrative and are being masterfully achieved -- which I find the great virtue of Killashdra's stories in the first place.

I have e-mailed Killa about my reactions to her story, but I feel that I must offer my opinion on the ASC newsgroup as well. Killa has written a wonderful story, one that captures the personalities of the characters (IMO) while presenting a possible relationship that could never be fully explored in the series. "Surrender" was not only very entertaining (I felt that I was becoming a little obsessive as I checked the newsgroup several times a day for the latest chapter!) but thought provoking as well. Killa should be commended for maintaining the same tone throughout the story despite the ASC postings about the consensual nature of the bondage and sex she described.

It must have been difficult to not become too influenced by the debate as she wrote new chapters.

Now, I'll throw my humble opinion into the fray. While I agree that nonconsensual sex is not something to be praised, I think that Killa wrote the story in a way that makes it clear that Kirk DOES give his consent. I have to go by my gut reaction. When I read a story (any story) that describes a rape, I feel sick to my stomach and most definitely would not say I enjoyed the story. As I read Killa's work, however, I felt that she was describing a loving and respectful relationship. The dominance/submission described simply represents one possible way two individuals who love each other might express that love.

Whether or not that is your cup of tea, it seemed to be a plausible way for Kirk and Spock to express their love during that first sexual encounter. And, Killa made it very clear in her next chapters that Spock was extremely reluctant to hurt or scare Kirk. I believe that Killa wrote this story in a way that let the readers feel the eroticism and tension of Spock's dominance of Kirk in the sexual relationship without losing the sense that Spock would do anything to protect Kirk from harm.

'Nuff said. I do hope that Killa continues to write, and look forward to her sequel to "Turning Point." This story (Surrender), however, is one that I plan to re-read and enjoy for a long time!!

I really couldn't interpret that any other way than that Spock had Kirk's full assent and approval, however much the latter could not articulate either (at first:). The way that Kirk feels about being dominated becomes clear to Spock when the "spark" goes through Kirk at Spock's "perhaps you will be quicker to obey me in the future" remark. Spock then acts on it, a course of action which Kirk desperately needs and wants.

It's very like Kirk to unable to speak of something close to his heart like this, too, IMO. Reminds me of the way he refused to talk about or deal with the issues of Carol Marcus, giving up command of the Enterprise, taking command of the Enterprise *back* from Spock in TWOK, death in general, getting old, the death of his son, peace with the Klingons, and doubtless many other topics that I haven't thought of. Amazing the man could make conversation with anyone, when you think about it. :) Also it's rather interesting to note that in all these cases, Kirk was compelled to face the issues by fate or by his friends. Not quite the same situation, I know, but I think such a track record certainly makes Kirk's ambivalence and fear of his emotional self believable.

Then, too, there's the fact that Kirk and Spock have clearly never before this point in time consciously taken one another into romantic consideration. Hard to make a pass at someone you think might react with surprise and disgust. Hard to risk a deep friendship and a good working relationship.

Different people have different perceptions. I'm just knocking the part of "Surrender" that has to do with Kirk getting raped....I was talking about what came across in the story to me and others. I never said she INTENDED for it to come across as rape, but it came across that way to me and others. It's also true that many people find rape stories titillating. Not me.

You certainly have a right to your opinion -- just as we have a corresponding right to point out how badly mistaken that opinion might be. Yes; rape is horrible. I agree completely. BUT -- there was no rape in "Surrender", whatever your overheated imagination may prefer to think. Having now seen your post mentioning a friend who was raped, your view makes a a little more sense to me -- but you are *still* grievously mistaken in presuming "Surrender" was about rape.... Except that it WASN'T rape. Dearie, I respectfully suggest you purchase whatever device is the UseNet equivalent of a hearing aid -- you are either blind or completely unable to read for comprehension. This has been explained to you quite politely, at least a dozen times that *I* have seen. Whatever you wish to say it was, the point remains that according to the story's author, it is NOT about rape.

You have been told Killa didn't intend to write a rape. You've been presented with textual evidence supporting that point. You've been presented with a large number of readers who saw no rape, and have presented the reasons within the story *why* they saw no rape. At this point any sensible person would acknowledge that, for whatever reason the error is occuring, there is no objective rape -- only the subjective one you are pulling up from your own mind. Take responsibility for your own interpretation, and stop blaming other people for what you see. You created the "rape" through your interpretation of the story. Killa did not. *She* wrote a consensual sex story, and wrote it well enough that most of her readers got it. She may have *accidentally* contributed to your perception of rape -- but she didn't intend rape, she didn't write rape, and she can't be held accountable for rape in any way except, possibly, on grounds that her technical presentation could be improved. Given her success rate in communicating consent to the majority of her readers, I'm not sure I'd be inclined to even hold her accountable for that.

And opinions can be mistaken. It's not a matter of not "liking" it. It's a matter of believing it to be incorrect. As stated in another post, while in literary analyses--unlike mathematical problems--there may be more than one correct interpretation of a story because stories themselves are complex, there ARE still *wrong* interpretations. If the author and a majority of other readers tell you that your opinion is wrong, it's time for you to re-examine you opinion, not just shout it louder. The problem is that you're confusing your right to an opinion with your right to misrepresent a story to a public audience, based on an incomplete reading. (I believe you said that you had not, in fact, finished the story.) The above quote essentially accuses Killashandra of writing a story which glorifies rape and makes it titillating. This is not expressing an opinion, Shannara, it's making an insult since several people--Killashandra among them--have told you that she does NOT hold the above opinion about rape. You're not listening, but hiding behind "I have a right to my opinion" instead. If you're wondering why people are getting irritated and impatient with you, that's why. It's not for holding an opinion, it's for refusing to admit that your perception seems to be mistaken in this case. Opinions are based on perceptions, and perceptions can be faulty. Your perception may be that the sky is pink, but that doesn't make it so.

I agree, this story has gotten enough bandwidth, especially considering it didn't even have a plot!

Other Reactions and Reviews

...imagines erotic dominance and submission used as a way to heal from guilt. A beautiful, serious, sexy, dominant Spock.