Snipers solve 99% of all problems
| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | snipers solve 99% of all problems |
| Author(s): | silentwalrus |
| Date(s): | 2019-09-15 - ongoing |
| Length: | 257,428 |
| Genre(s): | crossover, comedy |
| Fandom(s): | Harry Potter, Fullmetal Alchemist |
| Relationship(s): | |
| External Links: | Ao3 TvTropes |
Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
snipers solve 99% of all problems is a Harry Potter x Fullmetal Alchemist crossover story by silentwalrus. It has the additional tags Crossover, Humor, Post-FMA Canon, Harry Potter 5th Year, Nobody’s Going To Hogwarts, Me sprinting down the highway while snorting coke off my hand, i just need to get this out of my system, Oh yeah Maes Hughes lives bc i said so, Ed: what the fuck do you mean you have ELVES and SLAVERY, also ed: lol ya i joined the military when i was 12, Voldemort is the one percent, Dementors, If you're a science person come correct me, do not repost to another site, The Edward Elric Mortal Combat School of Trauma Therapy, Ed Says Fuck, Ed Says Fuck 600+ Times.
Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
Recs and Reviews
Colerate:Known for its incredible audience response (comments outpace kudos by around 3000 units), comical style, in-depth scientific takes on alchemy and magic, the author's and a large portion of the audience's neglect to actually read/watch fullmetal alchemist (we love them for it and you wouldn't notice unless you were told as much) and the general 'where-the-hell-did-this-come-from' vibes, snipers solve 99% of all problems is more of an experience than it is simply a fic.
silentwalrus manages to create a world in which both the Fullmetal Alchemist and Harry Potter universes can plausibly exist despite all of the hurdles that previous fans of this crossover have had to jump over. Popular works in this cross over tag such as the brilliant The Colours of the World by MaiKusakabe and the Through the Gate series by Preelikeswriting often keep the two worlds separate and take one character (usually from the Fullmetal Alchemist side, more often Edward Elric than not although The Colours of the World follows Roy Mustang) and put them into the other universe with the goal of returning home. It isn't the first time it has been done by any means, but it is rare. Even rarer so, snipers solve 99% of all problems brings a relatively large ensemble of the Fullmetal Alchemist cast to the world of Harry Potter alongside two military OCs that blend into the crowd as if they were from the canon.
This fic talks politics, science, magic, world-building and filters it through Edward Elric's eyes, giving the fic a lush life full of comedy as Edward gets incredibly creative with his metaphors and continues to assign the Harry Potter characters nicknames as he fails to remember their real names (either that or the translator gives them some interesting alternatives, such as 'Harry Potter' becoming Hairy Potter for the Amestris crew which in turn becomes 'Hairy Ceramics Professional' for the Harry Potter crew) or, in fact, is simply just not introduced to them. It should be mentioned that the Order of the Pheonix is a mess, which is something that often bewilders and irritates the Amestris crew.
Not to mention the parallels. Philosopher's stones? Corrupt Governments? Immortals? Things are a lot more serious than Roy Mustang had first thought when Olivier Armstrong roped him into helping her childhood friend Amelia Bones.[1]
If you are remotely interested in crossover fic- particularly plot-heavy cynical-but-not-grimdark crossover fic that’s as focused on the worlds colliding as it is on the characters colliding- then you should pick this one up if you get the chance.[2]
And one of the best examples is actually a Harry Potter / Fullmetal Alchemist crossover - silentwalrus’ ‘Snipers Solve 99% Of Problems’, which is an absolute joy to read, as are the author notes for each chapter, and the huge number of comments. It’s set at the start of Order of the Phoenix, and the Order has called for a little help with their immortal terrorist problem. And the Amestrisans are not impressed by the wizards, to put it mildly. The fic tears straight into the worst parts of the HP canon, and it’s witty, and thoughtful, and beautifully characterised[3]
and okay, this one is not technically RoyEd, but the author is a shipper and it can be read that way, and it’s so laugh out loud funny yet spot-on with characterization it deserves a read, even if it’s not technically shippy[4]
Fan Art
- Alphonse Elric by silentwalrus
- Edward Elric by silentwalrus
- Therapy Part One and Part Two by novirp13
- THE CLAPASS ALCHEMIST by tinfigs
- Hazza, Ron & Hermione by silentwalrus
- ROYALD THEY'RE LESBIANS by diaxii
- ED & AL & CROOKSHANKS Part One and Part Two by silentwalrus
- BLINGED OUT POWER THOT by sirex0
Resources
References
- ^ Colerate's Review
- ^ "Tumblr post". Archived from the original on 2023-02-19.
- ^ "Why Is Fanfic". Archived from the original on 2023-02-19.
- ^ "Any fanfic recommendations? I'm a fan of RoyEd 🤗". Archived from the original on 2023-02-19.
Warning: Display title "<i>Snipers solve 99% of all problems</i>" overrides earlier display title "snipers solve 99% of all problems".