Size Matters Not

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Title: Size Matters Not
Publisher: TroutHarem Press
Editor(s): Stacy "Lelila" Gellar and Ted "Troutman" Remark (first two issues), Stacy Gellar (third issue)
Date(s): 2002-2004
Medium: print
Genre: het
Fandom: Star Wars
Language: English
External Links: Publisher's website
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Size Matters Not is a het Star Wars zine. It is digest-sized.

Submission Request

From the publisher's page:
SMN is a General Star Wars Digest zine. So, we're looking for short pieces; prose should be 3000 words or shorter. Of course, poems and filks are always welcome! We shoot for a PG-13 rating; so keep it semi-clean please! It's a Gen zine; no slash, thanks. Other than that, the sky's the limit! Original Trilogy, Prequels, Expanded Universe, or even original characters and situations (set in the GFFA, of course!). We always need art! SMN prides itself on being in full color. If you'd rather illustrate a story, let me know and I'll be happy to forward you one of the submissions.

Issue 1

Size Matters Not 1 was published in 2002 and contains 31 pages.

cover of issue #1
sample page from issue #1

The pages are not numbered, and there is not a table of contents.

From the first issue:
TroutHarem Press, Under the Authority of the Supreme Jed! Council, Coruscant, and managed by Ted "Troutman" Remark and Stacy "Lelila" Geller, present SIZE MATTERS NOT.

Welcome to the premiere edition of Size Matters Not. This is a, if not original, certainly underused concept for a fanzine. See, we love printzines. We even love the 300 page zines with 100+ page stories in them printed on full size paper. But sometimes we just want a quick fix. And sometimes it's not convenient to carry around one of those huge zines. And face it, they are hard to read in bed. So, it was out of our desire for portability and a quick "fix" that the idea for Size Matters Not was born.

We hope you'll find our little endeavor as convenient as we'd like it to be.
  • Wedded Bliss by Valerie Vancollie
  • A Vignette of the Chivalry of Corell by Kate Birkel
  • Hands, a filk based on "Hands" by Jewel, by Lelila
  • Epiphany by Kate Birkel
  • When the Sun Gets In Your Eyes by Lelila
  • The Ballad of Han and Leia, a filk that is an adaptation to "The Ballad of John and Yoko, by Princess Mel
  • Dialogue by Marti Schuller
  • Longing by Lelila
  • The Droid Princess by Erin Gieg
  • Mates by Marti Schuller

Issue 2

Size Matters Not 2 was published in 2003 and contains 46 pages. This issue, unlike the first one, contains a table of contents and some of the pages are numbered. It also has some early photomanips/arty film clips.

cover of issue #2
sample text from issue #2
From the zine:

TroutHarem Press, Under the Authority of the Supreme Jedi Council, Coruscant, and managed by Ted 'Troutman " Remark and Stacy "Leiiia" Caller, presents SIZE MATTERS NOT.

Thus started the premiere edition of Size Matters Not. The first edition received nothing but good comments.

While this edition is perhaps not as varied, it still contains some great stuff {that, of course, is coming from one of the authors, but the stuff not by me is great too! ...As we said in the first edition, this is a, if not original, certainly underused concept for a fanzine.


  • Fun and Games (vii)
  • Sonnet, a poem by Rachael (1)
  • Corrillian Ale, a story by Melanie-Ann (2)
  • Leia, a filk to the tune of "Layla" by Eric Clapton and Jim Gordon, by Lelila (7)
  • Karaoke Night, a story by Melanie-Ann (8)
  • Flyboy, Take Me Away, a filk to the tune of "Cowboy Take Me Away" by Marty Seidel and Marcus Hummon (The Dixie Chicks), by Mikell Johnson (16)
  • Onboard Journey, a story by Lelila (18)
  • Shelter, a poem by Sheila Paulson (23)
  • Valediction, a poem by Sheila Paulson (26)
  • Shall I Tell You What They Think Of You?, a story by Lelila (28)
  • All Bets Are Off, a story by Melanie-Ann (33)

Issue 3

Size Matters Not 3 was published in 2004 and contains 42 pages.

From the zine:
Wow, have we really made It to the third edition of this zine? I find that a little hard to believe. I've lost my partner (hopefully only for this year!) due to real life problems, but I think this edition is as good as either of its predecessors. And in the hopes that this little endeavor will continue into the future, I'm introducing three chapters of a continuing story, which doesn't end in this issue! Actually, it started in Size Matters Not 2, but the first chapter can stand on its own, so I didn't bill it as such in that issue. Be on the lookout for future chapters in future issues!
cover of issue #3
sample text from issue #3
  • You’re Who? A story by Catriona Boyle (1)
  • My Leia, a filk to the tune of My Maria by Brooks and Dunn, by Wendy Schwartz (7)
  • Journey, Part 2, a story by Lelila (8)
  • The Novice, a story by Jason Mann (14)
  • Luke’s Lament, a poem by Lelila (19)
  • Journey, Part 3, a story by Lelila (20)
  • Feels Like Forever, a story by Melanie-Anne (25)
  • It’s All Coming Back to Me Now, a filk to the tune of the same title by Celine Dion, by Wendy Schwartz (29)
  • Journey, Part 4, a story (to be continued) by Lelila (32)