Shovel Talk
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A shovel talk is when a romantic lead's friend or family member delivers a threat of violence (credible or humorous) to the romantic lead's significant other. The threat generally describes what will happen to the significant other if they hurt the romantic lead in any way.
Origins
Conversations like shovel talks have long existed in media in minor ways, generally delivered by fathers or older brothers to their new sons-in-law/brothers-in-law, often framed as "I have a gun and a shovel and no one will miss you if you hurt her."
The idea of other family members or friends offering variations on this threat became popular in fandoms (and to some extent in canons) after Willow Rosenberg delivered a line to Riley Finn in season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer[1]: "And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel."[2]
Fan Usage
The shovel talk has had steady popularity in fanworks since its introduction.[3] It is used by characters of any gender and any close relation to the romantic lead. In some cases, it is used for a minor couple in the work, instead of the leads. It generally occurs in romantic comedies or light-hearted fanworks, rather than very serious works. However, it can be used to lighten the mood of a serious work after a crisis is averted or survived.
The trope is so familiar that many fanworks don't actually deliver a shovel talk anymore but simply allude to it. Sometimes one partner in a romantic relationship is worried they'll get one from a specific person, or sometimes the work includes no more than a glare or the phrase "If you hurt her...." trailing off into nothing. (The latter is also popular in canons.) In some fanworks, one character tells another that someone else gave them the shovel talk without the original conversation ever being shown.
Reactions
Some fans dislike the premise behind the shovel talk, concerned that it implies violence and removes agency:
It makes me deeply uncomfortable. Possibly this is my cultural background talking but those kinds of threats of violence read to me as Not Okay In Any Way. I actually nearly always backbutton out of a fic if it has the shovel talk. Especially since generally speaking fic treats these threats as actually seriously meant! Wow no I do not support the notion of a character calmly planning bodily injury in retribution for future bad behaviour unless the character is already established as having Bad Ideas on the subject of violence and this is portrayed as a Further Bad Idea. VIOLENCE DOESN’T SOLVE PROBLEMS IT JUST BEGETS MORE VIOLENCE.Also this kind of speech takes the agency away from the person the speech-giver is wanting to protect. Don’t they have the right to deal with their relationship and any issues therein themselves without having someone else going behind their back to threaten their partner? And if their partner really does turn out to be bad news bears then maybe they will want support in escaping the situation but IT IS THEIR DECISION.[4]
References
- ^ spiderine replied to your post: Answers About Stuff by Copperbadge. Please note the comments on the post pointing out two different origins. Accessed February 26, 2015.
- ^ Willow Rosenberg quotes on imdb.
- ^ It's a common enough element that 83 works were explicitly tagged with it on AO3 by March 2, 2015, and Urban Dictionary had and entry for it with 23 likes.
- ^ What is “shovel talk”? response by sophia-sol, posted July 18, 2014.