Shall We?

Fanfiction
Title:	Shall We?
Author(s):	Jenna Hilary Sinclair
Date(s):	2002
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:	Side by Side Collection on AO3
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Shall We? is a Kirk/Spock story by Jenna Hilary Sinclair.

It was published in the print zine Beyond Dreams #4 and subsequently online in Side by Side #23.

"Captain's Quarters" by Liz for "Shall We?"

Summary

"As Kirk and Spock become lovers, theyʼre kept busy wondering what McCoyʼs secret is."

Reactions and Reviews

Warning—do NOT eat or drink anything while reading “Shall We”. It is laugh out loud funny, and you just may end up choking if you’re not careful! This is one of the funniest stories I have ever read. I chuckled, chortled, and guffawed all the way through this delightful story about the night Kirk finally decides that the little dance he and Spock have been doing around each other has gone on long enough, and determines he WILL have the Vulcan in his bed before morning. However, there are a few obstacles in his way....

I loved the whole story, but will just mention some of my favorite parts. I loved the way Kirk makes it clear to Spock during lunch in the messroom what he wants without saying anything specific. I loved the pussy footing comment (or rather, Jenna’s droll aside following it) and the way she continued the common phrase "got the drift" with a great comment about paddling: "Spock might be inexperienced, but it was clear he'd gotten the drift of his captain's intentions and had decided not to paddle in the opposite direction". Too funny! I also loved Spock's musings on the approaching event. The self stimulation comment was hysterical—I choked on my drink at the untie his testicles remark! Then, Spock daydreams about Kirk on the bridge, and attempts to redirect his thoughts by "thinking furiously of the wrinkles on his childhood tutor's face", and then his thoughts stray to wrinkles on a part of Kirk's anatomy he hopes to see soon. Priceless! Kirk and Spock go on a date to see a holovid, and that whole part of the story was wonderful - the popcorn, Spock's unerring ability to see in the dark, and of course Ensign Slacker! I loved the title of the feature and the way each time Jenna referred to it in the story the number increased, from “The Man-Eating Women of Satyrnalia III" when it’s first mentioned to Satyrnalia VIII when it’s last mentioned. (I didn’t even catch this until the second reading.) Another choking moment occurred with the octet remark in this section, and more droll editorial remarks from Jenna. Another great part was Spock thinking that the role of starship captain was Kirk's second best destiny, and the way Jenna described Kirk was perfect : "With his beautiful eyes and alluring body, his keen mind and exceptionally attractive body, his arresting personality and gorgeous body, not to mention his gorgeous body, Kirk would not starve on any populated planet."

Once in Kirk’s cabin, it was just so funny all the thoughts going through their minds and the way Jenna described them. For example, probably my favorite sentence of the whole story is : “Spock concentrated hard on looking nonchalant, as it was still quite possible he had entirely misinterpreted events and he was not about to be initiated into the mysteries of the human sexual arts by a master of the same.” I liked the way Jenna had Kirk thinking something, and then Spock echoes the thought, too. Like Kirk thinks, as he offers Spock a drink “Mister Spock, would you care for ‘ a kiss, a grope, a fondle, a screw, the loving of your life’ “an afterholo drink?” And then the way Spock is impatient to get on with things and thinks “Why did Jim not simply initiate the coarser, more physical aspects of human matings, such as a kiss, a grope, a fondle, a screw, the loving of his life?” Or Kirk thinks “How would Starfleet react when the news inevitably reached Starbase One that the two commanding officers of the Enterprise were screwing like minks?” And then Spock thinks “How would Starfleet react when the news inevitably reached Starbase One that the two commanding officers of the Enterprise were copulating like le-matyas in heat?” The comments on the pivotal moment in time were hilarious, especially the publishing firm saved from financial ruin. The love scene was great—Vulcan sex- pants, the reference to the famously-sensitive Vulcan prostate, the well known Vulcan book of love, Spock’s being maxxed out on his personal pleasure scale. Funny stuff! And the part about being on the bottom and keeping a diary was hysterical! The McCoy subplot, and their attempts to figure out what he was up to, was very funny too, and woven very nicely into the main plot, or otherwise this would be a PWP story. (NOT that I object to those, when done well!) And I loved Jenna’s description of the contest, and how McCoy danced, and Spock and Kirk’s comments to McCoy, and.... Well, I could just quote the whole story and say “these were the parts I loved the best”, but I guess I’d better stop now! You may think I have already quoted all the best parts, but there are lots more. Read it and have fun. (And I haven’t even mentioned the underarm snuffling! Or the honking noises! Or the elevator sequence! Or the....)

"Shall We?" by Jenna Sinclair is a 21 page humorous story. It's very breezy and enjoyable. It's really hard to comment on because humor is something that is so individual. I found the subplot of McCoy's mysterious behavior not all that interesting. And once you find out what the answer is, I am wondering if that will detract from your enjoyment on rereading the story? (I think many K/S people buy zines and save them to reread stories. I know when I had a big collection I would reread some stories a lot. I bet I read some stories 30 times.) There are some nice dialogue bits and descriptions throughout, which is typical of Sinclair.

A light hearted and in places very funny first time story - parts of this tale had me in stitches! Kirk decides he has waited long enough to tell Spock how he really feels and invites him for a “date” to watch a porno film in the ship’s cinema, hoping it will lead to more. I have to admit I found Spock’s completely serious and deadpan attempts to find out from Dr McCoy whether Kirk likes popcorn or not were hilarious! At the same time, Kirk is becoming suspicious of McCoy’s behaviour and wants Spock to discover what he is up to with more hilarity (especially the explanations Spock does come up with which are very wide of the mark to say the least). I think the funniest part of all was how a certain very annoying and over-eager junior officer called Ensign Slacker, who has her own designs on Kirk, keeps cropping up at the just the wrong moment – to both Kirk and Spock’s increasing frustration, I suppose you have to give her credit for persistence if nothing else!

This story is lovely K/S Lite—but with no artificial sweeteners. I enjoyed the odd POV. Well, not that it’s odd, it’s just that I don’t know the name for it, though I’m sure there is one. It’s when there are asides from the author to the reader. I sensed from the beginning this was not a usual POV but it wasn’t so clear at first what the intent was. Then, somewhat into the story all of a sudden it was done for the first time, the reference from the writer to “you” the reader. I would have liked this to have been established from the start so my writer’s-mind didn’t have to try to figure out what was up earlier in the story.

There is a dance theme in this “shall we” story. It’s not Kirk and Spock; it turns out to be McCoy. But also, “shall we?” is such a nice inviting phrase. The story involves a holovid, popcorn, some other well-used minor characters, McCoy’s mysterious (and goofy) activities, and mostly, wonderful K/S sweetness. There are such charming things, both in the beginning when it wasn’t so overtly amusing (but rather sweet and romantic) to later when it was definitely overtly amusing (and had me laughing out loud a few times). Especially charming were the observations in either Kirk’s or Spock’s head about the other one, and about the potential of finally getting physically close this evening. And when they begin to do just that, in the dark movie theater, the Spock-thoughts are so wonderfully sweet-funny. After, they manage to fall to the floor in the lift, and McCoy sees them tangled together. When they both sit up at the same time, I can really picture it—like the best of the funny Star Trek moments. All these funny, funny asides—a lot of very fun cleverness here. Even the seductive talk, and even the sex, is written in the same vein, yet it’s romantic and sexy nonetheless, and so much love.

Here’s one of many things I like: about their “arguing for the next 27 years about who gets to be on the bottom.” A great twist from what we commonly think for our male-male characters.

After reading this story, there is only one word I can use to describe this author's style and imagination, and that word is "versatile". Whereas she has a tendency to pen stories designed to tug at the heartstrings of the reader (example of "Dawn" and the incomparable "Pacing the Cage"), this tale is written in a completely different vein, quirky and with an off-the-cuff (and I mean off-the-cuff) sense of humor, qualities that make it a delight to read.

What is even more appealing, there doesn't really seem to be much of a plot (at least not that I could determine), but it is written in such a way that the absence of said plot is barely noticeable. I chuckled my way through this mirthful tale, from Kirk "ordering" Spock to find out exactly what mysterious activity McCoy is up to (with hilarious results) to the love scene one never gets to read because the author basically tells the reader it's none of their business.

This is certainly a refreshingly humorous, definitely change-of-pace story from one of the best (and most versatile) K/S authors around today.