One Last Wish Fulfilled & A Promise Kept

Zine
Title:	One Last Wish Fulfilled & A Promise Kept
Publisher:	T & J Elson
Editor:
Author(s):	Karen Hayden
Cover Artist(s):
Illustrator(s):
Date(s):	undated, but in early 1981
Series?:	yes, sequel When the Sun Shines
Medium:	print zine
Size:
Genre:	gen
Fandom:	Star Trek: TOS
Language:	English
External Links:
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One Last Wish Fulfilled & A Promise Kept is a gen ST:TOS novel by Karen Hayden.

The zine contains two stories; One Last Wish Fulfilled (18 pages) and the sequel A Promise Kept (35 pages). It was typed by Pat Walster.

The zine is described as "controversial" in at least one publisher's ad in an issue of STAG.

The zine generated MUCH fannish comment regarding the acceptability of death stories, and whether creators had the responsibility to warn readers about the death of a major character. This zine and the discussion it created were much like the debate over age statements for explicit sex, and for zines with slash content.

This zine inspired the zine Forewarned.

A sequel novel, When the Sun Shines, was published by Scotpress in 1983.

Reactions and Reviews

I feel I just had to write to you concerning a now zine I have just read. It is distributed by T & J Elson and is entitled One Last Wish Fulfilled/Promise Kept by Karen Hayden. I have always agreed with your [STAG's] policy of not printing stories concerning the death of one of the main characters, and this zine has served to cement this belief wholeheartedly. It is the first time I have read such a story, and also, I sincerely hope, the last. This is by no means a complaint, as I have pointed out to Jenny Elson in a letter I wrote to her. It is a purely personal observation , but one with which I am sure many people would agree.

I was completely unprepared for the shock of learning that at the end of the first story, Spock was actually dead!!! And to make matters worse, if that were possible, at Kirk's own hand. True, Spock did entreat Jim to let him die with dignity, rather than suffer the agonies of the ancient Vulcan plague he had contracted for which no-one had ever found a cure. But I suffered agonies with Jim as he finally pressed the hypo-spray to Spock's arm and released the neuro-paralysor into his body.

The sequel - 'A Promise Kept' - carried on the story. The journey back to Vulcan with Spock's body for a Vulcan funeral, meeting his parents, finally having to accept that he was gone for ever, and Jim learning how to keep his 'promise' to Spock that he would Live Life to the Full and Not Allow Grief to Rule Him.

I tried reading the zine downstairs but after two or three attempts had to wait until I was in the privacy of my own room, to avoid openly crying in front of my family. How I got to the end I shall never know, as I couldn't even see the pages half the time through my tears. All the time I was reading, I was hoping against hope that it would all turn out to be some horrific nightmare and Kirk would wake up to find Spock by his side as always. But no, the bitter truth had to be faced. SPOCK WAS DEAD.

Both stories were beautifully written and Karen obviously has tremendous insight into the relationship between Kirk, Spock and McCoy. I can't understand how anyone who has such insight, who appreciates the love these three feel for each other, can write a story in which one of them dies so tragically. I'm sorry, Karen. I wish I could say I enjoyed your story but I'm afraid I found it much too painful.

I may be hardened, unimaginative. etc, but I wasn't particularly upset by Karen Hayden's story. After all we know 'zines from that particular 'stable' are going to be 'controversial' so if you're worried by the possibility of a story you don't like or that upsets you, why buy them? Also, [name redacted] had a valid point. The stories I have been most upset by (not tbe right word - made uncomfortable by, perhaps) are those which should be death stories but the author has quailed (again not right) and all has ended happily. There is an uneasy feeling about them. I'm sure you can appreciate what I'm getting at, though I haven't expressed it very well.

.... concerning the review of my zine (One Last Wish Fulfilled) in your last N/L. The only comments that I have is that I was very flattered, and more than pleased, by the reader's need to make a comment, herself, concerning it.

Elizabeth was evidently affected quite deeply by the stories, and for them to have reduced her to tears proves that I achieved what I set out to do. I cannot apologise for upsetting her, for that is an inevitability when you write a story where one of our beloved characters dies. But I do say that I am sorry that she did not enjoy it. I thank her for reading it, though, and for taking the time to write the review and for saying that I have great insight into the characters of Kirk, Spock and McCoy, and that the zine was beautifully written - that is the ultimate compliment!

From a personal PoV I feel as a lot of people do concerning the death theme - hard as that may be to believe. I cannot accept the death of the major characters, particularly Kirk and Spock, in our universe. Trek, because I believe that if the main characters die, then there is no Trek. But from an alternative universe PoV, anything is possible, and that is how I deal with the death theme, the K/S relationship, etc, each occurring in a different universe entirely - as far as I am concerned, neither is possible, neither could ever occur in our universe Trek, but they could, and do, I believe, in the alternate universes. I also feel that you can deal with certain definite emotions, certain really deep feelings, when death is concerned that you could never deal with, or even face or admit, under 'normal'

This is no attempt to justify my writing a death story, for in the realm of IDIC I feel it must be accepted as a part of real life, and our Star Trek life, and I feel that I am as entitled to write death storiesas everyone else is entitled to write any and all other types of story. These are just my personal comments, feelings and reactions after I read the review of my zine.

... a conment about [Elizabeth's] zine review, and on the general theme of death. I have always cherished the idea that the Star Trek community is totally democratic, and that everyone is entitled to voice their opinions. It was in this belief that Terry and I printed Karen Hayden's story 'One Last Wish Fulfilled/A Promise Kept'. Karen had "the democratic right to put her ideas forward, and we helped her to gain that right by publishing her well-written, sensitive story. The reason we did not advertise it as a 'death story' was, A) it was no different to any other Star Trek zine and 3) had we advertised it as such, some people would not have bought it, thus denying Karen's right to be heard, and the readers of a beautiful piece of writing. I am a firm believer in IDIC. Hard to live up to, yes! But at least worthy of the effort to TRY.

What Elizabeth did not mention was the fact that Karen's story ended on a note of hope. Although Spock was dead, his spirit... soul...call it what you will...lived on, giving hope, comfort and love to those left behind.

Death IS a fact of life! We all have to meet it and all have to experience the loss of someone close to us. And it must be discussed, if only because of the inevitability of it all. It would be unrealistic and stupid to do otherwise. And yes... death must even come to the characters of Star Trek some time. Immortality will no more be their inheritance than it is ours. Of course it is sad. Of course there will be grief and pain. Yet that is not a bad thing. Surely, a person mourned in death must have been loved in life? Could there be a better epitaph? And at least death will have been faced and experienced, a far more honest and realistic approach than to pretend it will not or cannot happen.

There is a final and most important aspect to this. As I said, Karen's story contained hope, love and the beginning of a new future for those Spock left behind; His legacy to his friends. And if one person gains comfort and reassurance from this, then surely it is all worth while? Death is real, an ever- present reality both in this universe and in the world of Star Trek. Isn't it time we faced up to it? Perhaps then it will not be so painful and frightening to bear.

Unlike [Elizabeth], I didn't find the zine (One Last Wish Fulfilled by Karen Hayden) too painful. It was well written without being morbid although personally I thought parts of it dragged on rather too long... The zine could not [possibly] have driven me to tears. Incidentally Jenny Elson does say in her latest sales list that the zine is 'controversial'. Why on earth did [Elizabeth] buy it in the first place? [STAG's editor replies:] Personally, I don't consider that the term 'controversial' means 'one of the main characters dies'. Rather, it means 'this contains material dealing with moral/sexual issues/themes with which some readers might not agree'. People might enjoy reading something controversial without necessarily being upset by it; and indeed the zine is listed as controversial, I understand, because of a certain moral issue raised in it, not because it involves the 'death-of-a-main-character'. You can't take the description 'controversial' to mean "don't buy this if you don't like death stories.

I think it is a great pity that something which obviously began as a chance to air our views has turned into an unpleasant free-for-all; we are all entitled to our own opinions but we should know the difference between honesty and rudeness. All the clubs do us fans a great service; without the committee members there would be no clubs or cons - I'm afraid I would be very tempted to answer unpleasant and cruel criticisms with the comment 'If you can do better then start a club yourself.' There is no need for unpleasantness from members of any club. I find all the arguments depressing and unworthy of a Trek lover, and I do mean the nasty arguments and not just friendly disagreements. I have never commented on the story policy before, but surely the protests and arguments are not logical - it all boils down to 'if you don't like it, then don't read it'. If you don't like a club's policy then leave the club and join one you do like, there is plenty of choice. I personally enjoy all fiction; death stories do not upset me at all, neither does any other explicit material, but I agree most definitely that each club should print only that which it agrees with. It is after all your right to do as you wish with your own hard work.

Have you ever had the feeling that you wished the ground would open up and swallow you? Having just read other people's reaction to my [the fan who was the original reviewer] letter concerning Karen Hayden's zine ONE LAST WISH FULFILLED/A PROMISE KEPT, I'm beginning to feel just that. On reading my letter again, as printed in the N/L, I can quite see how it would give most people the impression that I am a soppy, sentimental idiot. Really, I'm not. The letter was written on the spur of the moment, after reading the zine for the first time. The thought that it might be printed in the newsletter didn't even cross my mind, and I was extremely taken aback to find that it had been. Not that I retract anything from it. Having read the zine again, I must confess that it still made me cry. Perhaps I am being sentimental, after all, and I don't apologise for that, but I will admit that I went a little overboard.in my letter. By the way, to answer [name redacted's] question as to 'why on earth did [she] buy it in the first place' - at the time I ordered the zine from Jenny Elson's sales list, there was absolutely no mention of it being 'controversial.' I think it originally appeared on sales list 8, although I can't actually find that one now. But the word 'controversial' didn't appear until No. 9, by which time I'd already read the zine. Also to quote [name redacted's] statement - 'We all know zines from that particular stable are going to be controversial,' I'm afraid that observation leaves me completely blank. Perhaps someone would enlighten me.

With reference to the comment in N/L 47 regarding 'One Last Wish Fulfilled', I agree with Jenny Elson that Karen Hayden has 'the democratic right to put her ideas forward' in her stories. BUT when Jenny Elson gave a reason for not advertising it as a death story as 'we had we advertised it as such, some people would not have bought it' - good grief - do we fans have no RIGHTS!!! Are certain zine editors only concerned with selling the zines and don't really care whether the stories (such as death stories) upset the fan who unsuspectingly buys one? O.K., so death is a fact of life, but some of us do not wish to dwell on it, especially if it concerns people (or characters) we love. We do have the right to enjoy the zines we buy and if editors of fanzines cannot be TRUSTED to advertise truthfully the zines they publish, then I will be very wary about the ones I buy and who advertises them. At least I know I will not be buying ;a death story' zine from STAG and if they ever change their policy regarding this then I am sure I can TRUST them to inform the fans before they sell the zines. Where is IDIC - in which Jenny Elson says she is a firm believer - when there is no trust?