Ninety-Nine Miles From LA

Fanfiction
Title:	Ninety-Nine Miles From LA
Author(s):	Lucy Doty
Date(s):	May 2001
Length:
Genre:	slash, m/m
Fandom:	Starsky & Hutch
External Links:	Ninety-Nine Miles From LA at S&H Archive
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Ninety-Nine Miles From LA is a 2001 slash Starsky & Hutch story by Lucy Doty. It was published in Don't Give Up On Us, Baby anthology. The story is split in two parts: "Hutch's story" and "Starsky's story." The sequel is Tell Me Nine Truths.

Controversial

The story sparked many discussions, both offline and on mailing lists, specifically The Pits Mailing List.

Some fans enjoyed this complicated story which took place shortly after the end of the series. Other fans did not appreciated what they felt to be partner betrayal. Even fans who like the story disliked a single line in it, something that is included in the fan comments below.

Sample Art

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  by J. Jones, also used in Commitment

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  by Maureen B., a variation on a similar work by this author in Code 7 #4 for the story Foster-child of Silence and Slow Time

• 

  by Ruth Kurz

• 

  by Ruth Kurz

• 

  by TACS, the original character, Steve Bussell

• 

  by Debbie Milliaian, the original character, Steve Bussell

• 

  by Debbie Milliaian, the original character, Steve Bussell

• 

  Maureen B.

• 

  J. Jones

Reactions and Reviews

2003: Discussion on "The Pits Mailing List"

This story was discussed on The Pits Mailing List in early May 2003.

The topics were fans' like and dislike of the story as well as the pitfalls of feedback, the pros and cons of detailed discussion about specific stories online and the "success" of this particular conversation, as well as the ethics and practice of discussing a writer's work without their knowledge or "permission."

And a big fat ditto on the sex with other people part. I don't want to read about them having sex with anyone else.

In general, I agree with you, but even there a good author can make me believe it could happen, and even like the story (and me a OTP advocate!)

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When Hutch sleeps with Steve Bussell in "99 Miles to LA," in the zine DON'T GIVE UP ON US BABY, he enjoys it, and I don't hate Steve! In fact, I want him, and Hutch and Starsky to all become great friends, and if that includes a little recreational three-way down the line, that's fine with me.

Oh, I had just the opposite response. Totally and in spades.

Hutch was a complete ass in that story, and to me his affair with Steve was just sickening. Steve was constantly putting Starsky down, trying to get with Hutch, and Hutch *let it happen*! I really disliked Hutch at that point, and couldn't bare to read the sex scene. For me, It would have been like watching any married man cheat on his wife, which I consider a low and disgusting act on the cheaters part. And Steve wasn't any better than those women who only get off on married men. I feel they're low life and only want to hurt people, and they do.

There's no way I could have seen the three of them together. I could *barely* forgive Hutch for what he'd done, and that was *only* because the second story told why Hutch was acting the way he was. It didn't excuse his actions, but it explain them.

I did thank the author at the time for printing the second story after the first, because I really disliked Hutch in that story, and there's no way I would have even touched the second story if I'd seen it in a second zine.

At the end of the first story, [Ninety-Nine Miles...] I though Starsky was going to be a hell of a lot better without Hutch than with him. At the end of the second I could see Starsky forgive him, and try to get him the help he needed. But it was clear that the relationship was going to need work for it to last. And the *only* way to do that would be to make sure Steve was long gone and never to return.

No way in the world could I see the three of them have gotten together. Yuck!

Oh. boy, are you right we had totally different reactions to this story! IMHO,far from being an ass, poor Hutch was a model of long-suffering rectitude, nursing Starsky, working the equivalent of two shifts, and making himself available to take Starsky to therapy and dr's appts whenever possible. Then Starsky goes and throws it all in his face by complaining he's not always available when needed, and asking his mother to come out and care for him. Granted, he thought he was trying to make things easier on Hutch, but he never got that across to his partner, just as he never understood himself that Hutch would see his refusal to tell his mother about their relationship as an indication that he was ashamed of it, and by extension, Hutch. I thought Hutch's turning to Steve when he did (remember, Steve didn't criticize Starsky to Hutch but to Starsky himself) -- again, after being -- in his mind -- totally rejected by Starsky (and after having gotten drunk) -- was a believable response to the immediate situation, as was his regret for having done so. (Whoops, in my excitement and haste to leap to Hutch's defense, I seem to be overusing parenthesis and dashes -- will try to contain myself!) I also somehow suspect you didn't think, like I did, that Starsky was behaving like a sanctimonious prig at the end of the story when he magnanimously forgave Hutch, without ever seeming to realize that his behavior might have had any relevance to Hutch's actions at all. However, I didn't see the relationship in continuing jeopardy; Hutch was obviously willing to limit his contact with Steve to that necessary to remain temporary partners until Starsky's recovery, and he seemed amused by -- as well as accepting of -- Starsky's displays of jealousy on the subject. Huh. Always interesting to hear how vastly differently different readers respond to the same story!

I agree about it being interesting hearing other views on the same story. I'm one of them strange ones that liked that story. <g> I honestly felt sorry for both of the guys. I don't think Starsky was being as supportive of Hutch as he could have been. But they had both been through a lot and I don't think they handled things in the way they would have normally. The stress level was high for both of them Of course I wouldn't dream of even thinking I could change anyone's mind...<g>

We're not strange. Lots of people liked "99 Miles to LA." It won the Huggy Award for the Best S&H Zine story at ZCon 2001.

I can actually see both opinions. I think it depends what king of mood I'm in when I read "99 Miles..." It's certainly wonderfully written and it's something that I'll read over and over. That's life...sometimes it doesn't go the way you want it.

Certainly was an 'experience'. <g> But very unpleasant subject matter to 'live' through.

I was very hopeful at the end of the second story that they *could* work through it, but there was still going to be all the issues to deal with. At least the hope was there.

I think the biggest problem with the -writing- was that the two stories were presented separately, and weren't given to the reader as one complete work. Starsky's actions in the first story made sense to because of his circumstances. (The shooting, the pain, the sudden dependence and self-doubts) But for me Hutch was just an ass in the first story, and was too out of character. The second story was *really* needed to explain what was going on, and to help balance out the ugliness of the betrayal.

I think she should have put it together as one story, and not tried to separate it into two parts. If the second part had come in another zine, I wouldn't have been interested, remembering what an ass Hutch had been and my feelings that Starsky was going to be better off without him. Time was not going to make me any more interested than I was at the moment I ended the first story. So it was great that she published them together.

But there's no way I could stand to see Steve still in the picture. And a threesome just sounds awful. He's only good being completely gone. The author of that story sure struck a chord that made the story linger (negatively) in my imagination. I was very very happy to see the sequel but oh boy she sure punished Hutch and Steve for their earlier transgression. I could never see them as a threesome and Steve treated Starsky with such a lack of respect. Starsky almost died and his long painful road back to being partners with Hutch again was totally glossed over by Steve as selfishness on Starsky's part for how poorly he was taking care of Hutch during that period. I said in an earlier post recently that Steve was a Mary Sue character for me since he was rich, good looking, a great copy , kung fu skills, yadda yadda.

I have read two pretty good threesome stories with female as third. I cannot wrap my mind around them having a threesome with another guy. urk urk urk help mommie romance. Where is the romance in a threesome. I love explicit sex stories, I love romance stories, but bottom line it is 'they love each other, they are hot for each other, they have sex. They do not have sex, have sex, pick up some other guy have sex, come back have sex and oh by the way I love you. Yeah right.

One big thing about 99 Miles is that when I am rereading stories I never skip that one. It is like watching at train wreck happening and it illicits the same pain in my heart and anger at Steve and disappointment in Hutch and sympathy for Starsky. Understanding for Hutch and some impatience with Starsky. The story brings it all out.

Two major points that always bothered me (stop me if I am repeating myself) Hutch telling Steve it was the 'best sex he ever had'. No wonder Steve disses Starsky at every chance. Also, when Starsky saw the marks on Hutch and reacts, Hutch told him that he liked it. So here you a have Starsky ripped to shreds and feeling like Frankenstein and Hutch is getting his sexual jollies from nipple clamps that leave him raw. Hutch's anger at that point in the story after Starsky had forgiven was .....I do not have the words. I did NOT like Hutch at that moment.<g>

I read it once and don't plan on reading it again any time soon. And I agree, "Whiny Starsky" did show up a few times. I think "Alien Hutch" was there pretty much for the duration.

I think the author is a talented writer, but I'd like her to write something that resembled more Starsky and Hutch a little more.

I've probably spent more time discussing "99 Miles" with friends, than any other single SH story I can think of, and it's definitely one of my most reread stories. In fact, I'm going away for the weekend, and I think I'll take this zine with me for the plane. It's that kind of story. Once you start hearing other people's thoughts, you want to rush out and reread it, to see how they came to that reaction. What I think is amazing about "99 Miles" is that it generates so much buzz, for and against it. The author crafted a story that makes us think and question and angst and get angry and ultimately feel. I

like that, and I like "99 Miles" a whole lot, even if "Alien Hutch", and "Whiny Starsky" did show up a few times. <g>

...I "like" and "dislike" it at the same time.

... we're talking about men here, and single men at that. In the 70s, the era of free love! LOL The fact is, and I just saw a thing on TV the other night that talked about it, for many gay men commitment is the exception, not the rule, especially when they first start having sex with other men. It takes them a while to settle down, if they ever do. Men, some men, anyway, just don't look at sex the same way women do. They don't take it as seriously.

I'm sure the above is true of some men, and may have been true of many men--gay or straight--in the 70's. But S&H were in a committed relationship at the time the cheating occurs in "99 Miles". They've made a commitment and the only thing that's changed is that Starsky is now damaged. So at a time when he's probably feeling about as undesirable as possible, and when he's not able to "fight for his turf" so to speak, Hutch has a one night stand with someone else. Man, that's low for someone of either gender, and it's a sorry betrayal of the friendship, let alone the romantic relationship.

I guess I don't have any interest in reading about men, gay or straight, who don't ever take sex seriously, even when they're committed to someone. S&H is one of the slash pairings I love because I don't see them that way. I see them as casual about one-night stands when they were totally single, but once they fell in love and committed to each other? I don't buy it. Lucy's one of my favorite authors, but even she couldn't sell me on that scenario. If it were a story about two original characters in that setting, I could really see Val's explanation above as helping it to make sense in the societal context. I just can't go there with S&H.

...I think there was a whole lot more comfort in discussing that one because the author isn't a regular on this list. Well, at least I don't think she is, but with listnames and pseudonyms who's to tell?

I'm at a loss here. So how does a list that was started for the very reason of discussing writing discuss writing in general terms without anyone thinking we're discussing them? If we can't discuss in general terms without upsetting someone how can we ever give any honest critique of a particular story? Someone is always going to be so sensitive, or even paranoid, that they're going to take a comment personally. It's happened on every list I've ever been on. All you can do is try to explain to these people that a comment wasn't personal, or that it doesn't mean the end of the world is coming, or that they should get therapy.

I can't count the times I've typed out a post regarding a specific story, or even a 'type' of story citing specific examples, then gone back and reread it, edited it and softened it, reread it, removed the story-specific references, reread it and deleted it unsent. Because I really haven't seen any signs that this list is up to genuine story critiques; author named, story named, 'What I Liked, Hated and Loved About THIS Story and Why' type discussions. And yes, I can totally see that I am part of the problem, because I don't want to be the one who stirs up the hive. This last discussion of '99 Miles' was something so great that I am wondering if I missed some fundamental shift in dynamics. A specific story was named, and discussed, the author is known by some, respected, and people still said what they couldn't stand about it and why, and other people said why that same thing worked perfectly for them and no one felt the need to 'defend' the author against these 'attacks'...it was wonderful, and I'd so love to see more. (But alas, I've never read it. I couldn't play. *sniff*)

But it *is* hard, and much more so when a story's presented here by a list sib. When someone says 'Ok, to further discussions I'm posting my new story here. I've been working on it for a long time. Please feel free...' I do admire their bravery. So then I read it and perhaps I HATE it for a half dozen reasons. I'm sorry, I just don't have it in me to say that. I know that theoretically she's looking for feedback, but...'Hi there Fan_X, thanks for being so brave and offering your story up for discussion. Let me tell you exactly why I loathed it.' Am I missing a step? Is that supposed to be how it works? Because the alternatives are to say nothing (my choice for lack of a better option), or only mention what I liked about it (dishonest to the writer as well as useless as a critique). *sigh* I must be missing something, really. I'm not being facetious. There is a site called something like Fanfic Hall of Shame, and I read all the entries. Partly because they were funny. Yeah, mean but funny. And also because they were good warnings for ME when I write. It was like using exaggerated examples to make me more aware of subtle tendencies in my own work, pitfalls and patterns to be avoided. These are real (bad) stories, and it's not just having them decried as bad but having the exact nature of their badness named and classified that really was constructive. To me. But I'm sure the writer whose work was cited would have quite a different perspective. Is the reason that this discussion of '99 Miles' was so successful (at least in my eyes) that the story was a zine story and not posted online? One thing that stood out was that even those who felt that her Hutch (or Starsky) were behaving badly, or unbelievable, never actually disparaged the story itself. Is this an indication of what can work as far as critiquing? Or not? Would the whole thing have blown up if she was on list?

Eeep. IS she?

Is the reason that this discussion of '99 Miles' was so successful (at least in my eyes) that the story was a zine story and not posted online?

Possibly. And possibly because it's an older story, and time and distance have a way of softening things.

I think the reason that discussion worked so well (and I enjoyed reading the different opinions even though I haven't read the story) is because people were looking at what the characters did and analyzing THAT instead of focusing on the writer. It sounded like an episode discussion, really. I do think it was easier to do because the story sounds like it was well-written; when it's good quality writing, we can focus on what's happening in the story, rather than on the weaknesses in the writing itself.

I thought it was a very successful [discussion], too, and showed how great a real discussion with varied tastes and opinions can be. My take on why it was so successful, was that it was natural. I don't even remember the first post, or why the story came up, but that first poster obviously struck a nerve and the great conversation took off from there.

One thing that stood out was that even those who felt that her Hutch (or Starsky) were behaving badly, or unbelievable, never actually disparaged the story itself. Is this an indication of what can work as far as critiquing? Or not? Would the whole thing have blown up if she was on list?

I don't think that you should have to have good things to say about a story for it to be a valid critique. I think you're on to something, though, in that it probably 'softens the blow', so to speak, if you don't have overwhelming issues in general with the quality of the writing. Just because the writer is generally considered a good writer doesn't mean they can't have a misstep, which I think "99 Miles" was. As a writing list and members of it, we should feel free to say what we feel about a story, whether the story is posted online or in a zine.

I figured once the discussion started, it was fair game to jump right in. I definitely don't share any feelings of guilt for giving my opinion here, despite not having provided the author with a LOC privately. Once the topic is on an open forum like this, it's every woman for herself.

[...]

I'm not sure what is going on here, but for a list that calls itself a writing list, we sure aren't much up for talking about specific stories.

The story was good. No question. Well written and dense with feeling and detail. I do not know if Lucy is on line but no one was negative about the writing. In fact, it was the strength of the writing that made the story unforgettable. Who has not read a premise, story point that does not fit their 'idea/conception' of what S&H will or will not do and found it easy to hit the delete button or skip the story every time they reread the zine it is in.

This story does not allow you to skip it. Each time I read it I think maybe this time I will see the situation with new eyes. Even if my original feeling is reinforced, I am never sorry that I read it again. I was so happy to see the sequel and, even though it was a bit over the top with the punishment, it rounded out and resolved my wish to punish Hutch for his transgression against 'fidelity', 'love', 'commitment', and my precious and so loved Starsky -there I admitted my bias - but I also read a story in which Starsky cheated on Hutch and hated that point in the story for the same reason. In fact, I since the ending of THAT story had Starsky unable to promise that if Hutch left town for 3 bloody days again and he felt stressed again that he wouldn't go out and get laid by a stranger AGAIN. I threw up my hands. That was also a well written story. It was also a story I read again (visiting that train wreck scenario again).

I got a copy of Summer's Ending by Chameleon. It was in really really rough shape (the copy I mean). It was the LAST of the old zines that I managed to find and obtain. I thought, hmmm. I have time. I shall type this huge story neatly and print out a clean copy for myself. Well I got 100 pages into the story and infidelity showed up and I got queasy. Oh no. I persisted in typing but that requires too much depth of reading to gloss over the bits that you don't want to read, so I stopped temporarily. I thumbed through the copy and boy there was more and more and more and now I have a block against even finishing the story. I WILL get to it. I know I will read it because it is also an excellent concept and well written but not now.

I think that is an indication of how well written a story is when you read it in spite of things that you personally do not care for - like unfaithful partners.

The first S&H zines I ever bought were all eight Charlotte Frost zines. I was much better at feedback and was sooo happy with the treasure trove so I sent feedback on all the stories. There was ONE story that made me uncomfortable. I told her so in my feedback and explained that I thought it was my own personal squick rather than the idea she was trying to present. I promised that some day I would go back and reread it. I reread her zines over and over and over and skipped that story each time. Finally, I read it again with new eyes and did see where she was coming from and the point of the story and though my comfort level with it will never be high, it fulfilled its promise of a good read.

Someone just pointed out that taking time to write a true evaluation of each story you read is damned near impossible. Most of the time, you are left with only the reaction - hey, that wasn't bad. I enjoyed reading it. Nothing special leapt out at me that screamed for extra praise or condemnation. It was 'just a story' like a thousand other stories that pleased me. I do not read fan fiction to expand my horizons. If a writer adds something to her story that teaches me something or lights a fire under me that drives me to say something, that writer will get feedback and more than 'gee I liked it." Very few do. A story like 99 Miles that reaches in and behaves like a pearl in an oyster and months and months after reading it comes to mind as a story that has that bit in it that really really bothers me and I can bring entire story to mind and practically quote it in detail. Now THAT is a story.

2004

[One story I] liked a whole lot is "99 Miles From LA" in

the zine "Don't Give Up On Us Baby" by Lucy and Elaine. Hutch is trying to

do/be everything for a recovering Starsky, but he makes a couple of critical mistakes along the way. A very long and angsty read, written from both characters POV.

[...]

There certainly are some very jarring parts to the story, and for a lot of us who have discussed this tale at length privately, there is one particular line that I know I wish could be surgically removed from it, but I still enjoyed the whole thing very much. And it has the OC I most love to hate in fanfiction.

For those of you who like to know what you're getting into, this story warrants a caveat. I wish I'd had one.

One thing you can say about that story (99 Miles) is: if you ever read it you felt something. If a writer ever wanted to know how many people read a

story (since LOC's and FB is so scarce on the ground) putting in a line like that that brings such vociferous and detailed response like a trigger being pulled must be very interesting and informative to the writer. It struck a nerve in so many readers and has been discussed in detail more often than almost any other story that I can recall on the lists.

One problem with [Ninety-Nine Miles From LA] is that it was so controversial that all of the other stories were lost in the uproar. There's an absolutely wonderful story by Sarah Problem, a really - I hate to use the word - "cute" story by Jat Sapphire, plus several other stories as well as some great art that all deserved to be recognized but weren't because everyone was so busy talking about 99. It's too bad that one story can ruin an entire zine but, in this case, it happened. JMHO

Hmm...perhaps ruined is too strong a term. Distracted the viewing audience? I've seen it happen in other fandoms and in "real-life" forums as well. People tend to focus on the negative and overlook the positive to the determent of all concerned. How many of the other stories in Don't Give Up are even remembered but everyone who read it remembers "99". And discusses it passionately. But then, as the old saying goes, bad press is better than no press at all.

The negative? I'm surprised by this comment, Otter, since *most* fans liked "Ninety-nine Miles." In 2001, it received a Huggy Award for the best story in a S/H anthology zine. I would think you and the other authors who contributed to this zine would be thanking Lucy for producing so much recognition. There are other stories included there that are excellent as well, but perhaps readers wouldn't have even purchased the zine, if it were not for this controversial piece.

Any person in a relationship who thinks that it's okay to have sex out side because it's -just physical,- and that that sex is *better* because of technique, doesn't deserve to be in a relationship. Hutch not only physically betrayed Starsky, but mentally betrayed him as well. All with that one line.

The brief discussion of this story interested me, but it's difficult to know what's going on without having read the story, and even if I rushed out to order the zine (assuming I could find it and it's available), by the time I got it the discussion would be long over. So would it be possible for someone, with appropriate spoiler space of course, to give a description of the story and of the "line" that throws various readers out of the story?

I am one of those who does not mind spoilers and story descriptions - they seldom cause me not to read a story I would have read otherwise, and they often have the reverse effect - and often when there are story discussions here I find myself wishing someone would explain what's going on.

I really enjoyed "99 Miles From LA," and have reread it several times. Would you be willing to share the line that you (and maybe Lucy, too), felt made so much difference that it affected the whole story for you? Maybe with a *Spoiler* warning, or off-line? Thank you very much.

I like angsty stories like "99 Miles From LA," and don't mind if one or the other takes comfort in the arms of another man if the author can make me empathize with the need that drove him there.

[...]

What I was trying to ask, apparently not very clearly, was how willing people are to read stories that show the guys behaving differently than we might ordinarily expect them to, if their behavior is appropriate to and consistent within the story. I'm not thinking of anything that could clearly be defined as a "death story," or "S or H in connubial bliss with a woman story," but something like "99 Miles From LA" which cannot correctly be labelled a "partner betrayal or cheating story" because there is so much more to it than that one event of Hutch cheating on Starsky (a situation I find totally understandable within the context of the story, and yes,I know a lot of people disagree with me on this one!). So, given that everyone has her squicks (mine being gratuitous torture, either guy happily married to a woman, and an overabundance of tears, whether in response to pain or professions of love), how willing are fans to read something that does not fit comfortably into their idea of how Starsky and Hutch would act in a given situation? And, just to add to the discussion, if you are willing to do so, why? For myself,I enjoy the opportunity to explore different aspects of the relationship from a new perspective. And if the picture is a little off (as I think it is in "Coign of Vantage," in LA VESPERS #2, an outsider's look at the S&H relationship which is one of my favorite stories), well, that's OK, too -- the author has taken a chance and written characters that I still recognize as Starsky and Hutch, from a totally different viewpoint, and that's exciting.

Yes, the story certainly can [be labeled 'partner betrayal or cheating'].

"Betrayal" and "cheating" are the -actions- that took place. Hutch cheated on Starsky, and in my view betrayed him. The *reasons* he did so are spelled out in the story, but they don't make his actions any -less than they are-, which cheating/infidelity at the very least. The reasons, no matter how much more to the story there is, doesn't not make his actions go away.

Once done, the actions can't be undone. They can only be dealt with.

The story "99 miles from LA" still covers what I've said before. I'd have to really trust an author to read something like that, and the author was the *only * reason I finished it in the first place. And I did so without seriously checking the rest of it out to see if it was worth my finishing it. Even then, I didn't read the betrayal sex scene the first time through, it's just too ugly a moment, and on the second reading didn't want to read it either. I just don't want that ugly moment as a visual in my head.

Sometimes curiosity will keep me going to the bitter end of a story. Even a really bad one. But by the point that happens I've stopped caring about the characters the author is showing me, and just have to see how it ends so I can put a 'period' to it in my head.

It all depends on the story, and how the author presents it, and sometimes -who- the author is. There are only a few authors I'd trust to drag me through the mud and be happy about it by the time the story's finished.

If the actions don't fit comfortably with how I'd think they'd react in any given situation, I can't see it and it's not well played out, then I'd say it was bad characterization. If it's not a S&H I can recognize, no use reading it.

And if it is something I can see, the way the author presents it, I may still not want to go there. Why read about a S&H I don't like, or care about, at the end of the story? Just because the character's have the names of "Starsky" or "Hutch" doesn't mean I'm going to forgive them if they're presented as having crossed lines they shouldn't have crossed. Forgiveness is not automatic, and after a certain point, depending on what lines are crossed, I just won't care if they get together at all.

2005

I enjoy most stories and those that strike me in some negative way I discuss when the topic comes up eg. 99 Miles To LA. Not that I saw any writing errors in the story but a story point that I personally did not like which is a personal idiosyncrasy not a writerly flaw.

I was uncomfortable with 99 Miles To LA. Can't bear either boy cheating on the other but I can read it. Every time I read the zine that story is in I reread that story...knowing it bothers me.

2006

99 Miles to LA is a story that upsets me something awful not because Hutch is gay but because he cheats on Starsky and then after having sex with this OC, that the writer loves so much she has practically made him super human, says that the sex was the BEST HE EVER HAD. (it featured nipple clamps too). That single line made me so angry.

99 Miles to LA...I still like, but when it comes to 'that was the best I ever had'...yeah, I gotta agree. WTF is up with that, Hutch? Makes you wanna slap him up side the head. ROFL

2012

If you loved Coffin for Starsky or Shootout, this is your story. Written by a professional RN, the story tackles the problems of what happens when a loving, passionate but closeted relationship is tested by one partner's long term illness and post traumatic stress and its accompanying pressures. The story is told in two parts, first Hutch's point of view, and then Starsky's. The differing points of view come at different parts of the story and help balance both partners' problems. This novel-length story was first published in the zine, Don't Give Up On Us, Baby, in May 2001, and edited by Lucy and Elaine. Starsky is recovering from Gunther's hit. He's living in Hutch's small Venice Place apartment, and Hutch is managing his recuperation. Hutch is also managing Gunther's prosecution and his full time job. Completely out of sick leave from taking care of Starsky while he was still touch and go in the hospital, Hutch is trying to do it all: manage Starsky's twice daily physical therapy, stay on top of the prosecution of Gunther, and fulfill his responsibilities as an active police detective. Starsky is physically impaired but improving, but both of them are struggling from symptoms of post traumatic stress – they both have nightmares and have trouble sleeping, and Hutch, who is managing nursing care, legal work, detective work, and housework, is quickly unraveling. Dobey finally insists Hutch start doing his regular job with a new partner. Enter Steve Bussell, handsome, good cop, martial arts expert . . . and gay.

It is wonderful to see this classic and well-constructed story posted for everyone to enjoy. I found everything about the tale compelling, from the characterizations to the action to the tasty interplay between the boys...all of this and more.

In a way, it was a hard story to read. There is tension and a bit of push-away-pull-back, but in the context of the story, it makes perfect sense.

This is a story to make you think, and often, those are the best kind.

Thank you for creating such a thoughtful and fascinating story!

This story is one of the best novellas in the fandom I have ever read. It's been awhile, so I re-read it, and am glad I did.

Lucy takes the angst, the frustration, the guilt, and the clashing up slowly so that it's believable. You can see where it's going and don't want to read, but can't put it down.

Of course, the payoff is more than believable, and welcomed.

The characterizations are right on to what I perceive, and while Steve makes a bit bland OC, he's still a good rival for Starsky and friend for Hutch.

I highly recommend this to any fan who loves the 4th season and is a slash fan.

Oh, yeah. I remember reading this in the zine! It's very angsty which makes my heart go pitter patter but once they're both happy TOGETHER, oh, that's such a balm to all the angst. I just love it; well done.

This story gave me knots in my stomach and that is how I rate a really good story! I hurt for Hutch and when he finally slept with Steve it killed me. The kind of kinky stuff he did to Hutch in the sex scene was really telling about the character of Steve. Hutch was a mess and hurting, that kind of sex was not the comforting kind, that's for sure. I loved this story. Bravo!

This was a great read. Lots of tension, action, H/C. Good work and thank you for sharing this.

2013

You know, I'm an animal caretaker. I know what it's like to take care of sick things. I don't want to read about it. I just don't. I just don't see the pleasure in it. It doesn't- because my friends day, "What's wrong with you?" I just had to review "99 Miles from L.A." for Crack Van, I barely could get – I edited that story. [laughter] That story wouldn't exist if I hadn't edited the hell out of it. And I had to reread that story, after years of not looking at it, and I'd forgotten how incredibly tedious the entire first section is, where Starsky is recovering from Gunther's wounds, and Hutch has to bathe him, and Hutch has to give him his medicine, and I'm like, "I'll never get through this. [laughter] How am I supposed to rec this horrible fic where the guy just walks around like an invalid for half this story?" It was horrible. I got through it, and it's a great story, but my friend Kerry is saying to me, "There's something wrong with you. Why are you in this fandom?"