Never and Always (Star Trek: TOS story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Never and Always
Author(s):	Elwyn Conway
Date(s):	1986
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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Never and Always is a Kirk/Spock two-part story by Elwyn Conway.

The first part is called "What are Friends For?' (contains no art) and the second part is called "When Legends Meet" (has art by Elwyn Conway and Caren Parnes).

It was published as part of a serial in Nome.

Series

• A Mission's End ("Parted from Me" Book 1, Nome #5)
• Earthbound ("Parted from Me" Book 1, Nome #5)
• And Never Parted ("And Never Parted" Book 2, Nome #6, #7, #8)
• Never and Always ("Never and Always" Book 3 is made up of two stories, "What Are Friends For?" and "When Legends Meet," Nome #9)
• Touching and Touched (Nome #10)
• Genesis Aftermath (Nome #11)

Summary

"Kirk and Spock are now together but still need to resolve Spockʼs fear of injuring Kirk during his next pon farr and Kirkʼs fears due to being raped by the "Roman" proconsul."

"McCoy is prominently featured in this continuation of the novel which began in Nome #5. The Enterprise is diverting to the planet Llan'Karrin where they hope to contact the fabled Etife."

Gallery

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  title page

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  title page

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  art for "When Legends Meet" by Caren Parnes

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  art for "When Legends Meet" by Elwyn Conway

The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Writer

In the 1980s, the large distance between the United States and Australia, the latter where Elwyn Conway lived, was made even more vast by the fact that before today's almost instantaneous fannish communication, fans had to rely on the extremely expensive long distance phone call and/or the handwritten letter which took weeks to arrive at its destination. This meant that for Conway, feedback was slow and sparse, if present in any great amount at all. Considering that this series was written over at least a six year period, it is amazing that she persevered as she did.

In 1988, Conway sent this letter to Nome #11's newly-established LoC feature:

I just want to say how much I appreciated the LoCs you printed in the last issue, and especially the comments on my story, both positive and negative. You may remember, three or four years ago, when I said it was like writing into a vacuum, not getting any feedback, not knowing what people liked or disliked. Now your invitation to your readers to write LOCS has produced an abundance of feedback, and I'm very grateful for it. It was overwhelmingly encouraging, and sometimes quite touching. Before. I wasn't sure whether people understood or empathized with what I was trying to convey in my story. Now I am quite sure that many people do, and I would like to thank them for taking the time and trouble to say so.

Reactions and Reviews

[The editors of Nome comment on this story]: This brings us to another remarkable piece of work included in NOME 9 (and in NOME 8. 7. 6. and 5) -- but in this case, we are no longer certain of our readers' enjoyment. We refer, of course, to Elwyn Conway's saga.

We use the term "saga" advisedly. The author herself has recently described her work as "more a continuing serial, rather than a novel with a single dramatic conclusion" -- even though it is quite carefully planned and does have a definite format (see synopsis) and denouement. In fact, we have. right now, the final segment in the series! However, this is really beside the point. In the past month or so we have become increasingly distressed by some negative comments, from friends and readers alike, concerning the "saga" and the frustration it seems to have generated in K/S fandom. Several subscribers and a reviewer have gone so far as to suggest that we, as her editors, should insist that Elwyn "get on with it," so to speak. But -- we are Elwyn Conway's editors. not her collaborators. It is our task to edit what she sends us, and suggest plot ideas which might benefit her focus or accelerate her action. The ultimate decision in these matters, however, is (and should be) always the author's! Although Elwyn can be gracious and agreeable, she also has very definite and fixed ideas of the way in which Kirk and Spock operate in her universe, and the pacing of the story she wants to tell. These are not negotiable. It is our option, of course, to discontinue serializing her work in NOME. Or to suspend publication of her work until its completion (although there is always the danger in so doing that, without a yearly audience, the author may lose interest in completing the piece entirely). We have rejected these solutions in past issues. We feel committed to this work, and to Elwyn as its creator. It is -- and always has been -- our belief that she is one of Trek's finest writers.

Now, however, we would like some input from our readers. How do you feel? Would you prefer that we suspend printing the story -- perhaps indefinitely? If you feel strongly one way or the other, we would like to know!

My gut reaction is keep Elwyn Conway's work coming; it is an enormous asset to you [the zine, Nome, in which was published] for several reasons.

First, the quality of her work reflects and contributes greatly to the overall quality of your zine. This cannot help but be a major factor in attracting the caliber of readership which I'm sure you wish to attract.

Second, to those souls who would insist that Elwyn "get on with it," I would like to point out that this saga is primarily a character study supported by light plot. A whole lot like life, huh? Here, the relationship is "all"; something to be handled carefully and lovingly and illustrated in minute detail. It is, after all, the very heart of the K/S premise. Emphatically, "getting there" is not just half the fun, it is all the fun. Since the K/S/B (I must include Bones here) relationship is not now, nor will it probably ever be, touched on to any significant or even recognizable degree in Trek movies or commercially published Trek literature; that only leaves zines, folks. I feel that Elwyn's saga addresses this need more than adequately. My advice to those readers who prefer their K/S a little more plot- oriented and action-packed is this: read something else. Honestly, some people are never satisfied!

Those dreaded words "To Be Continued" appear at the end of this segment of her story, as always. At one point in the story Kirk thinks that it's only two nights since he lay in Spock's arms in the observation room and is amazed that it has only been such a short time because obviously it feels longer to him. It feels a lot longer to the reader too. It's been more like two years since the scene on the observation deck. I figure at the rate she's going she might just get them together in about five years time. True, this is the most interesting installment yet. (and everyone I know thinks so), but I can't really figure what she's doing with the characters or where she's going; e.g.. Kirk's relationship with McCoy and the way he's blatantly teasing McCoy, which I think is very unfair. Then there's Kirk's hysterical reaction to the fact that he was raped a few years earlier. Well, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't buy this at all. I mean, Kirk is acting like he was a 15-year- old virgin at the time he was raped,which isjust ludicrous in my opinion. Also, this is supposed to explain why he has this aversion to a sexual relationship with Spock. I just can't see Kirk being that illogical. I also have serious doubts that Elwyn is ever going to get them together at all, what with Kirk's immature attitude and Spockbeingequallyfoolish (thinking he'll just run off and die when pon farr hits again). As to whether I reallywant to read any more of it, I have to say not in its present form. It's simply too frustrating and is driving me nuts. Having to wait a whole year between installments is excruciating! This is just a suggestion, but what about getting her to finish it no matter how long orhowmanypagesittakesand then publishing the rest of it as a separate zine so that we won't have to put up with the frustrating yearly installments? You asked for opinions and that's my opinion, for what it's worth.

I had been unable to think what term to use to describe Elwyn's stories until you used "saga," which is, of course, what it is. I have quite a collection of zines and this is the first one that I have encountered with a continuing story line spanning more than one zine. This may be part of the problem some of your readers are experiencing, being accustomed, so to speak, to short stories and novelettes, rather than sagas.

Reading Elwyn's story is like sipping fine brandy instead of guzzling moonshine. All too often, zine writers fail to make use of any detail in the background or any minor characters, whether ST or otherwise. They simply assume the reader is aware of all given facts of the ST universe. The results resemble two crudely drawn main characters acting out their parts, sometimes overacting, on stage sets consisting of some shadows and cardboard cutouts. In contrast, Elwyn's characters have a depth and life to them that's almost distracting, but which actually enhances the main story and characters. Many zine readers, however, are not accustomed to this richness and it appears they find it somewhat overwhelming....

I definitely would rather wait than risk not having the story completed. I will say that if, for some reason, you did not carry the last episodes in NOME I would be so bitterly disappointed I don't know what I would do.

Once again I want to tell you how much I enjoy NOME. . . . Until I had obtained back copies, I wasn't qualified to answer the question you put to your readers in the NOME 9 editorial-that is whether or not to continue Elwyn Conway's saga. Now that I have read all installments of that epic twice I want to give you my answer: YES YES YES! Please do. . . . True, she has taken me on an emotional roller- coaster-but aren't roller- coasters supposed to be fun? She has created some terrific characters along the way, among whom are Bart Stivik (I just love him) and Godfrey Dent (creep!). She has created memorable scenes which I will always remember with fondness. Kirk's daring escapade with the canyon flight, the good-bye before Gol—we've seen it done before—but never better. And the moment frozen in time in that crystal cavern defies my poor attempts at description... Elwyn enabled us all to live a very beautiful experience. Would all the sunny scenes she has given us have been appreciated if first she had not created the days of rain and despair? Needless to say. put my name on the list to continue what began with PARTED FROM ME. I'm looking forward to "Touching and Touched"!

Please enroll me among Elwyn Conway's ardent admirers. I don't care how long it takes. Bleak House, War t£ Peace, whatever, I'm enjoying the trip. The bit toward the end of the very first story where they look at the crystal cave together was just super. I love sentiment. I also like it that she has people saying funny things; I enjoyed her hideous documentary crew no end.

As for Elwyn Conway, let me begin by saying I think she can be a marvelous writer, especially when the characters stop thinking and start acting. She has the ability to describe landscape and action in a way few zine writers have and I admire and enjoy much of the things that have happened in 'Never and Always". The canyon flypast with Kirk at the stick and the film crew egging him on; that marvelously awful "personality" the Enterprise is stuck with transporting; there is so much that is a delight. It is only when the inevitable point in each installment arrives where Kirk and Spock, either singly or together, go broody (I keep hens and I know what I'm talking about) and the pages fill up with internalizing that the whole story drops dead in its tracks. As someone else has already said: why can't they talk to each other instead of themselves? As a dramatic device, all this introspection has its limitations and by this time. I know that once K or S starts "thinking," nothing more will happen. Here again, just like Flora's Mirror protagonists. they rehash the same old fears and reservations all over again. I'm not sure who qualifies for the indecisiveness prize here but I wouldn't put either of them in charge of anything I valued! I do agree Ms. Conway is absolutely right to tell her story the way she wants to; I just wish it didn't have to be in annual installments in what was once a well-edited, varied and exciting annual story collection. Is there no possibility of separate publication of, say, 100 or 150 page installments?

"Never and Always"-The last installment drove me crazy with wondering "When are they going to do it?" I didn't feel that frustrated at the end of this one. I was a lot more interested in what was going on with the Etife. Elwyn Conway is certainly an excellent writer and I was easily lost in her tale. And, thankfully, her epic does have some tender moments, of which there were very few in the preceding pages of this issue of NOME. My reaction to your question of how readers feel about your continuing to print the epic is conditional: Normally, my reply would be, "Yes. by all means. Especially now that you have the final installment in your hands."

With regard to your editorial, I have no idea why fans object to Elwyn Conway's work. The story moves at a more than reasonable pace with enough plot to fuel a novel. Often one finds oneself applying a double standard when reading zines. What's good enough for the average sex and get 'em would provide a sparse plotline in any other form of publication. Conway's work is readable, intelligent, and most important, interesting. I find myself mulling over possibilities at odd moments while waiting for the next installment. A year gives me time to do a great deal of mulling.

I am especially enjoying Ms. Conway's series. I know that there have been some complaints about her series from people who want her to end it, but I for one have started to look forward to the next chapter in each new issue of NOME, and I don't care if K and S ever get down to actually jumping in bed and "conjugating the verb." I'm enjoying the stories too much. Please tell Ms. Conway to keep the faith and keep the stories coming. There are at least three of us out here in California who want her stories to continue in your zine. . . . we have even affectionately attached our own titles to the series such as: (In the Soap Opera vein), As The Starship Turns, All My Crewmen, The Young and the Bondless, Kirk's Hope, One Vulcan to Love. And there is no cynicism implied; we genuinely look forward to each installment. My hat off to her for her great writing and to you the editors for publishing it intact.

OK, you wanted an opinion of Elwyn Conway's work, here it is..."Never and Always" was my favorite for this issue. Yes, I can see why others have gotten a little dotty from reading her previous story. I only started getting NOME at issue # 6 and I missed # 7. It's pretty bad when you can miss a whole segment of a story (as I did with "And Never Parted") and pick it up without having missed anything important in the next segment after that (despite the fact that the story was written well). HOWEVER! Elwyn has more than made up for it in this issue! The story was tight, to the point, and full of all of that marvelous philosophy I like to see in K/S stories from time to time. Please print the next segment in the next issue.

I have a love/hate relationship with Elwyn Conway! She writes extremely well and tells beautiful stories--but--they go on forever. Just when you think you are coming to a conclusion, "to be continued" shows up. I hate waiting for the next part. On the other hand, I don't know if I would want to read Elwyn's stories all at once. As much as I like them, it might be like overdosing. So, I guess, on the whole, I'm saying I like them and prefer them the way you are presenting them.