Lotions and Potions, Etc.

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K/S Fanfiction
Title: Lotions and Potions, Etc.
Author(s): Phaedra Morgan & Dana Austin Marsh
Date(s): 1996
Length:
Genre: slash
Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series
External Links: Lotions and Potions, Etc.
on AO3

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Lotions and Potions, Etc. is a Kirk/Spock story by Dana Austin Marsh and Phaedra Morgan.

It was published in the print zine KaleidoScope #5.

Summary

"Sulu tricks Spock into hosting a party to sell Suluʼs line of sex potions and toys, a situation that does not sit well with Spockʼs lover, Kirk."

Reactions and Reviews

1997

Sulu wants to have a sex toy selling party (like Tupperware) as this is his new business venture, so he approaches Spock with the idea. Sulu tells Spock that he's selling devices and things for the health and well-being of the crew, so Spock agrees to let Sulu use his cabin for the party. So cute how Spock thinks Kirk will like the idea that he's making an effort to mingle with the crew.

And so cute how everyone knows what kind of party it is except Spock!

Very clever and very funny when Spock finally sees what's going on in his cabin along with a hilarious running gag about a large display "penis": "But would you please put that godawful cock down someplace?"!

Oh boy! Spock peruses "the simu-leather T-back briefs" for Kirk!

Really funny and adorable story. [1]

1997

Such a silly and cute story.

I liked all the sexy underwear, bondage stuff, dildoes, pom tapes, etc., but not the inflatable plastic female. As I'm sure I've said in here in one way or another, forgetting radical feminism for the moment, I can get into the spirit of woman-as-sex-object but only as long as we get man-as-sex-object also.

The best picture was Spock fumbling around with that gigantic phallus in his arms, especially, of course, when Kirk comes in.

And I adored when McCoy reminds Kirk he should probably be cool about the whole thing or risk being called "Herbert" again. [2]

I really enjoyed this story. Thanks guys, you got the lovably manic Sulu just right! [3]

2001

This is a hilarious story, in which Sulu bamboozles an unsuspecting Spock into holding a sex toys party in his quarters! The premise is that Sulu has invested a lot of money into his new business, "Lotions and Potions, Etc.", and needs someone to host a demonstration party for him, since regulations forbid him from operating a business from his quarters. There are so many great scenes in this story—like the scene where a fast talking Sulu cons Spock into being the host for his party. Or McCoy's glee when he figures out what this party is really about, and decides not to tell Spock or Kirk. Or the description of Spock's reaction when he walks into his quarters and discovers the nature of the merchandise for sale. Or Kirk's reaction when he walks into Spock's quarters just in time to see Spock holding a giant two foot high dildo! Or the scene where Rand and Chapel are comparing the dildos and Kirk overbears references to him. And my pulse heated up, along with Spock's, as he contemplated his captain wearing one of the lingerie items also for sale—the "simu- leather T-back briefs"! McCoy has some great lines, and there's also some great dialogue exchanges between Spock and Kirk. This story was a hoot! [4]

2005

As you would guess from these authors, this was a lot of fun to read. Sulu has a new hobby, selling sex toys by party plan if only he could find someone to host one. He cons innocent Spock into holding one in his cabin by telling him he is selling health aids. Spock wants to please his captain and new lover by fraternizing more with the crew and decides this would be a suitable way to start. He invites McCoy , who is onto it straight away, and of course Kirk.

Great humorous scene in Spock’s cabin, too clever to describe here. Lots to chuckle over and worth reading several times. [5]

2021

5/5. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. There weren't many jokes, but some of the moments were absolutely hilarious. I already know I tend to enjoy Marsh's writing, and this is definitely one of her best works, in my opinion.[6]

References

  1. ^ from The K/S Press #5
  2. ^ from The K/S Press #7
  3. ^ from The K/S Press #8
  4. ^ from The K/S Press #63
  5. ^ from The K/S Press #103
  6. ^ K/S Fanfiction by uss-genderprise.tumblr.com/