Lotions and Potions, Etc.
| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Lotions and Potions, Etc. |
| Author(s): | Phaedra Morgan & Dana Austin Marsh |
| Date(s): | 1996 |
| Length: | |
| Genre(s): | slash |
| Fandom(s): | Star Trek: TOS |
| Relationship(s): | Kirk/Spock |
| External Links: | Lotions and Potions, Etc. on AO3 |
Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Lotions and Potions, Etc. is a Kirk/Spock story by Dana Austin Marsh and Phaedra Morgan.
It was published in the print zine KaleidoScope #5.
Summary
"Sulu tricks Spock into hosting a party to sell Suluʼs line of sex potions and toys, a situation that does not sit well with Spockʼs lover, Kirk."
Reactions and Reviews
1996
Have you ever noticed that when two writers collaborate on a story, it’s usually a comedy? I hadn’t actually realized this until I read this story. Comedy isn’t easy to do. But it is refreshing. Like everyone else, I wish we could have more of it. Especially if it could be as well done as this one was. [1]
1997
Sulu wants to have a sex toy selling party (like Tupperware) as this is his new business venture, so he approaches Spock with the idea. Sulu tells Spock that he's selling devices and things for the health and well-being of the crew, so Spock agrees to let Sulu use his cabin for the party. So cute how Spock thinks Kirk will like the idea that he's making an effort to mingle with the crew.
And so cute how everyone knows what kind of party it is except Spock!
Very clever and very funny when Spock finally sees what's going on in his cabin along with a hilarious running gag about a large display "penis": "But would you please put that godawful cock down someplace?"!
Oh boy! Spock peruses "the simu-leather T-back briefs" for Kirk!
Really funny and adorable story. [2]
Spock hosts a demonstration party for sex merchandise... gee, this is a real funny story! [3]
Such a silly and cute story.
I liked all the sexy underwear, bondage stuff, dildos, pom tapes, etc., but not the inflatable plastic female. As I'm sure I've said in here in one way or another, forgetting radical feminism for the moment, I can get into the spirit of woman-as-sex-object but only as long as we get man-as-sex-object also.
The best picture was Spock fumbling around with that gigantic phallus in his arms, especially, of course, when Kirk comes in.
And I adored when McCoy reminds Kirk he should probably be cool about the whole thing or risk being called "Herbert" again. [4]
Cute. Picturing Spock entering his cabin, seeing that assortment of "erotic" material put me in an acute state of the giggles. [5]
I really enjoyed this story. Thanks guys, you got the lovably manic Sulu just right! [6]
2001
This is a hilarious story, in which Sulu bamboozles an unsuspecting Spock into holding a sex toys party in his quarters! The premise is that Sulu has invested a lot of money into his new business, "Lotions and Potions, Etc.", and needs someone to host a demonstration party for him, since regulations forbid him from operating a business from his quarters. There are so many great scenes in this story—like the scene where a fast talking Sulu cons Spock into being the host for his party. Or McCoy's glee when he figures out what this party is really about, and decides not to tell Spock or Kirk. Or the description of Spock's reaction when he walks into his quarters and discovers the nature of the merchandise for sale. Or Kirk's reaction when he walks into Spock's quarters just in time to see Spock holding a giant two foot high dildo! Or the scene where Rand and Chapel are comparing the dildos and Kirk overbears references to him. And my pulse heated up, along with Spock's, as he contemplated his captain wearing one of the lingerie items also for sale—the "simu- leather T-back briefs"! McCoy has some great lines, and there's also some great dialogue exchanges between Spock and Kirk. This story was a hoot! [7]
2005
As you would guess from these authors, this was a lot of fun to read. Sulu has a new hobby, selling sex toys by party plan if only he could find someone to host one. He cons innocent Spock into holding one in his cabin by telling him he is selling health aids. Spock wants to please his captain and new lover by fraternizing more with the crew and decides this would be a suitable way to start. He invites McCoy , who is onto it straight away, and of course Kirk.
Great humorous scene in Spock’s cabin, too clever to describe here. Lots to chuckle over and worth reading several times. [8]
2011
I love it when there's a moment in a story where the words just conjure the vision of their expressions in my head. In this story it's the look that would be on McCoy's face when he realises Spock is inviting him to a 'party'. Classic :) [9]
Bahahahahaaa! Forget about Tupperware and Mary Kay...Potions and Lotions, Etc. is where it's at in the 23rd Century :P
Fantastic story (as usual)! It was skillfully written and wickedly hilarious, but with an underlying sweetness. I loved how Kirk and McCoy both sought to help Spock feel more at ease with such an awkward and undoubtedly embarrassing situation.[10]
2013
I am so disappointed I thought Spock would order something very embarrassing for McCoy or is that chapter two,"Revenge is a dish best served cold, frozen penis Popsicles. Suck on that Bones! [11]
2021
5/5. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. There weren't many jokes, but some of the moments were absolutely hilarious. I already know I tend to enjoy Marsh's writing, and this is definitely one of her best works, in my opinion.[12]
References
- ^ from The K/S Press #4
- ^ from The K/S Press #5
- ^ from The K/S Press #5
- ^ from The K/S Press #7
- ^ from The K/S Press #7
- ^ from The K/S Press #8
- ^ from The K/S Press #63
- ^ from The K/S Press #103
- ^ from Simone Allen at The Kirk/ Spock Fanfiction Archive
- ^ from Spockaholic at The Kirk/ Spock Fanfiction Archive
- ^ from SORAL179 at The Kirk/ Spock Fanfiction Archive
- ^ K/S Fanfiction by uss-genderprise.tumblr.com/