Look to the Heart

Fanfiction
Title:	Look to the Heart
Author(s):	Judith Coventry
Date(s):	1993
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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Look to the Heart is a K/S story by Judith Coventry.

It was published in the print zine First Time #36 where it has art by Shelley Butler.

Summary

"To recuperate from his injury sustained during the Babel conference, Kirk is invited to Vulcan by Sarek and Amanda and while there, discovers a member of Spockʼs family he did not know existed."

Reactions and Reviews

I love this story! And I love this Spock! Nearly through the whole story the author lets us believe, that Spock is the typical shy and innocent guy he plays in so many stories. Even Sybok confirms this image of him. And poor Kirk struggles with himself, if he is in love with Spock or not and if he can tell his friend about his feelings without losing him. Seems his mother knows her son better than Kirk when she says (p. 166): "...he is not so fragile that he would be damaged irreparably by your feelings." Finally Spock shows us, that he has a lot of his warrior ancestors and Kirk still has a lot to learn about Vulcans! When they all meet in Sarek's office, Kirk is in for a surprise! Spock declares totally logically that he is going to bond with his captain! Kirk is shocked (I can imagine our poor captain agape!). But this isn't all. Spock shows his bondmate what it means loving a Vulcan! And when Kirk complains that Spock didn't take him, he deadpans (p. 131): "I know, but McCoy warned me against it." Terrific! I had to laugh aloud! Spock really asked McCoy before! (I love to hear more about the two of them after their Bonding. Should be interesting...). I also love the part of Sybok. When he tossed back his head and laughed, I saw him right before my eyes!

Interesting scenario. Kirk at Sarek and Amanda's after Babel Conference and Sybok shows up. Although it is somewhat told-not-shown that for some time Kirk had been having feelings about Spock, these were very moving feelings and relevant sentiments. Kirk feels: Was he falling in love all alone? Would he go too far and force Spock out of his life? Spock goes so far as to admit he does not like to be separated from Kirk: but Kirk doesn't want to jump to any conclusions based only on this admission.

On Vulcan, Sybok recognizes Kirk is just the kind of man most Vulcans would "kill to have beside them." He thinks Spock doesn't recognize what he has. An excellent point.

Lying on the sand at night in the desert. Sybok suddenly kisses

Kirk. Sybok says, I am the man you want. Everything you want from Spock that he isn't. I am. I kind of wish Kirk fell for Sybok a little, wish he experienced some desire and confusion about Sybok before he so adamantly asserts that he loves Spock. As it was, his realizations about loving Spock seem to have sprung up full-blown. Besides. I wouldn't have minded a more heated scene between Kirk and Sybok at all...

Spock shows up in the middle of a conversation between Kirk and Sybok. so Kirkis forced to explain himself, his caring.

I did not care at all for how Spock expresses his desires to Kirk for the first time while in the company of Sarek and Amanda.

Later, when they should be breathless from the physical intimacy, they're sorting it all out too rationally. The sex/love scene is not very subtle. All of a sudden flailing and biting and coming: we are deprived of a build-up of intensity. It seems, my opinion only, too soon, too quickly to have such blatant sex.

I think it's perfectly ok for Kirk to say or think "his heart on his sleeve" (for instance) without saying to coin a very old phrase." We in our times use very old phrases without justifying using them; so would they in the 23rd century.

I liked reading this, liked this portrayal of Sybok and his part in drawing Kirk and Spock together.